Chapter Thirty-One Lila
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
LILA
“A boy? Bummer. I’d been hoping for a girl.” Tierney pouted. “Less chance Tiernan would gift her a Kalashnikov for her second birthday. Mafia men are super chauvinistic.”
My cheeks still stung from Tiernan’s rejection yesterday. I’d spent the entire night curled on the recliner across from our bed, refusing to share a bed with him. He slept through the entire thing, his chest rising and falling evenly in the dark.
“He doesn’t care,” I signed to my sister-in-law, flipping through racks laden with pastel blue baby onesies in a Manhattan children’s boutique.
“Doesn’t surprise me.” Tierney seized five hangers with expensive baby clothes, tossing them into an embellished straw shopping bag. The store was all white and pastel colors, floating hangers and white rustic furniture.
It was adorable, and still, I couldn’t muster any kind of excitement.
“Tiernan is truly fucked up in the head. Calling him damaged wouldn’t even scratch the surface.” She picked up a fluffy white bunny, adding it to her basket.
I pulled a face. “I thought we were in a better place.”
“The only good place a man could be in is the doghouse.” She patted my shoulder. “All men are disappointments, Lila. But Mafia men are especially rotten. Hold your head high and don’t let him have power over you.”
I gnawed at my lower lip, wondering how much of our conversations she shared with him.
“You’re out of it today, aren’t you?” She looped her arm in mine, strutting toward the cashier. “Don’t worry. This is just fun-shopping. I prepared a full list of baby essentials on my phone. I’ll send it over to you. It includes links, so just follow them and order everything.”
I put my head on her shoulder. Tierney had been good to me.
Better than Mama. The latter still hadn’t spoken to me, since I “came out.” And if I were being honest, I didn’t exactly miss her companionship anymore.
She seemed unhappy to see me thrive. Whereas Tiernan’s answer to me shooting him was giving me classes so that next time I could do it better.
Ugh. Tiernan.
“You’ll be okay.” Tierney squeezed my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
Tierney ran up the bill and I handed the cashier my husband’s black Centurion. The two Irish soldiers and Camorra chaperone assigned to Tierney grabbed the bags and carried them back to my sister-in-law’s Range Rover. We drove back to Hunts Point and decided to stop at the Italian deli for a snack.
The sun hung high above the buildings, and though it wasn’t particularly warm, it was no longer arctic, so we settled at a round table outside.
I ordered a latte and a plum tart, and Tierney made do with unsweetened black coffee.
She looked like a supermodel, wafer-thin and feline in features.
Even in black leather pants, a nondescript jacket, and oversized sunglasses, she turned every head on the street.
The nice guy who usually manned the register was our waiter.
He came over to set up our utensils, his eyes on me the entire time.
Tierney watched the scene in amusement as I flushed pink.
He wasn’t necessarily my type—I didn’t even have a type—but I’d never had an admirer.
And, yes—the fact that his existence pissed Tiernan off wasn’t exactly unwelcome right now.
“This is good, thank you,” Tierney told him after he finished setting up our table. When he left, she shook her head with a smile. “He’s got it bad for you, sis.”
“He’s just being nice.”
“Sure. And Tiernan is just being supportive of the U.S. Arms Sales and Defense Trade.” She snorted. “A true patriot.”
“I’m going to the restroom,” I announced, standing up.
“All right. Holler if you need anything.”
I walked into the shop and took the narrow aisle toward the restroom, slipping inside and doing my business. After washing and drying my hands, I cracked open the door and stepped outside. Nice Guy was standing on the other end, in a small, darkened corridor that led to the shop’s stockroom.
I smiled politely, trying to sidestep him. He blocked my way, shoving his body between me and the path.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted, putting a hand on his chest.
I stared up at him. Unease prickled the back of my neck, and I became short of breath. I shook my head, pointing at my ring finger, and tried to sneak away from him again.
He moved quicker, this time placing his big hands on my shoulders.
Panic flared inside me.
“Come on, now. I see the way you look at me. The attraction is definitely two-sided.” He winked. “And that prick can’t satisfy you, I can tell.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. I only had eyes for my husband. Even if I did look at him before, which I didn’t, I now clearly wanted to run for the hills and beyond.
I stared at him angrily, my fists clenching next to my body.
“Word on the street is you can’t speak.” He grinned, putting his hand on my cheek, crowding me so my back slammed against the restroom’s door. “That’s why he married you. Because you can’t fight back. Well, how about we make this our little secret?” He leaned down, grabbing a handful of my ass.
My gun. My gun was in my bag outside. I cursed myself for not taking it with me. I pushed at him with a roar, but before I could put my hands on his chest, he was yanked back with force.
Tierney was holding him by the hair, the edges of his scalp burning pink, murder in her eyes. She looked so much like her twin brother in that moment, I whimpered.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Tierney barked. “Assaulting a pregnant woman.”
She slapped him hard.
He snarled, rubbing at his cheek. “She was asking for it, walking around with her tiny little pink babydoll dresses three times a week. Prancing around without buying shit.”
“Oh, God.” Tierney shook her head, looking aghast. “You’re insane.”
“I didn’t even touch her!”
“He touched my ass,” I tattled.
Tierney screwed her fingers into her eye sockets. “Shit. Tiernan is going to have a field day. Enjoy your last few hours on earth, scumbag.” She shooed the guy, who scrambled, ran to the register, grabbed his messenger bag, and fled.
“Jesus Christ.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “You all right?”
I nodded, even though I had no idea if that was true.
Tiernan was right—I was never to move around without my gun again. Next time, I was taking my bag with me.
“Let me take you back outside. I’m so sorry.” Tierney ushered me back to our table. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I said honestly. “This guy is going to get fired, and I’m never going to see him again. Besides, he barely touched me.”
When we sat down, the baby fluttered in my lower stomach again. I instinctively pressed a hand to let him know that I noticed, and that I was here, waiting for him.
“This is starting to feel real, isn’t it?” Tierney smiled.
I nodded.
“How do you feel about it?”
“Frightened,” I admitted. “Excited. Worried. Oddly enough, I’m not mad anymore. I am mad at my rapist, of course. I want him to die a painful death. But not the baby. Once I decided to keep him, I promised to love him without prejudice.”
Easiest decision I’d ever made. My papa never loved me because of who he thought I was, even though none of it was my fault.
“I’ll love him for you, too.” Tierney leaned in to put her hand on my stomach, her expression sobering all at once. “I could never have a baby, you know.”
“Of course you will.” My eyes softened. “I will speak to Achilles myself. He will—”
She pulled away, shaking her head. “Save your breath. It has nothing to do with your brother. When I was twelve, I had a hysterectomy.”
I blinked, unsure what she meant.
“They removed my uterus, Lila.” She licked her lips, staring at her hands in her lap.
“Well, they didn’t plan on it. But… Something bad happened to me, and there were complications.
” She pursed her lips. “We experienced a lot of dark shit, me and my brother. I’m not asking you to forgive Tiernan for his bad behavior, but maybe you can find a way to understand him. ”
My heart felt like it was melting into mush. I wanted to hug him. Hug her. But I knew Tierney would misread it as a sign of pity and wouldn’t appreciate it.
“I am so sorry.”
Tierney shrugged, throwing me a casual smile. “It’s fine.”
“Who are they? The people who did this to you.”
She shook her head. “It’s not just my story to tell.”
“You are your own person, Tierney,” I signed stubbornly. “Independent from your brother. You are smart, beautiful, kind, and worthy. Remember that.”
“And you?” She directed those verdant eyes, a shade lighter than my husband’s, at me.
“Do you remember how strong you are? How resilient? How kindhearted? I never thought anyone could penetrate the walls my brother erected between him and humanity. They were—still are—impassable. Even I can’t get through them sometimes.
But you did, somehow. You’re doing his head in, Lila.
” She smiled. “Don’t be mad at him when he gets angry that those walls are tumbling down. The debris must be a bitch.”