Chapter 8 #2
All the irritation I’d been feeling a moment ago dissipated in an instant, and a profound pleasure wrapped itself around my being. “Say it again,” I demanded, tugging a little more gently at his hair, sifting the strands between my fingers, feeling its softness.
He seemed incredibly pleased with my request, and his eyes crinkled at the corners, those deep grooves on either side of his mouth appearing as he smiled.
How did I keep him looking like that? So I could always see those crinkles, those grooves.
“Bowen,” he said. I got stuck on the way his lips moved as they formed my new name.
I stared at them, bringing a finger to his mouth and touching his fat bottom lip. “Again.”
“Bowen. You like your new name, huh?” My finger slipped when he smiled again, and I curled my hand into a fist, looking away from him.
“Alright, you don’t have to answer this time. I can tell you like it.” He squeezed my thigh, and that felt good. Really good. It made me wonder what his hands would feel like on the rest of my body. They were big and strong and gentle, those hands. Reassuring. Comforting. Capable.
“So…how did you get up here? Really? It’s not exactly an easy spot to get to.”
I didn’t look at him again. His question made me remember that I was supposed to be focusing on leaving, on getting away from him, and he was distracting me with his lips and his eye crinkles and his hands.
I took in the forest around us, trying to see if I recognized anything.
I didn’t.
Then he squeezed my thigh again and I realized he’d asked me a question and it was polite to respond. Kind.
“I climbed,” I said.
“You climbed?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not an easy climb.”
I knew that because I’d done it. I shrugged, not sure what to say.
“So you climbed up from over there?” He pointed off into the distance. “Because most of this land is surrounded by cliffs. One of the only ways to get up here is that way. And that’s a hell of a climb.”
Was he doubting me? Doubting that I’d done that? “I don’t know which way I came.”
“Well, that’s—oh, look. There’s some mint here.
” He paused by a tree, then bent down and picked the leaves off a tall plant growing from the ground.
His smile was wide when he tilted his face up to mine, and I was so distracted by it that I didn’t notice what he was holding until he’d brought it up to my muzzle. “Here. Chew on this.”
He slipped something through one of the gaps, and my tongue snaked out before I could properly think about what I was doing. I dragged the leaf into my mouth and did as he told me.
It wasn’t until a few seconds had passed that I realized how stupid that was. It could’ve been a poison plant, a—
“It’s mint. It’ll help freshen you up. It’s good for you.” He popped some into his mouth and started chewing and walking.
It tasted…cool. Fresh. I’d never tasted anything like it. I was fascinated by the texture, the flavor invading every inch of my mouth.
“I’ll come back and pick some for later, good to know it’s there.”
I hummed and kept chewing, scanning our surroundings as he carried me through trees that all looked the same. Except…no, they didn’t.
There were faces on these trees. Just like the ones I’d seen when I’d first gotten up here.
Excitement had me sitting up taller, trying to find every face I could. These could help me find my way out.
I pointed at the closest one and said, “What are those? Is that a warning?”
Cain slowed down, then stepped closer to the tree I’d pointed at until we were right next to the face. “That? A warning? It’s just a face. Actually, that’s Bessie.”
Bessie…?
“What’s a Bessie?” I’d never heard of that before.
Cain laughed and said, “Not a ‘what’. Bessie is a name. Like Bowen or Cain.”
When he said my new name in that deep voice, it brought a warmth to my chest.
“It has a name?”
“Yeah. They all have names.”
“Did you name them?” For some reason, I didn’t like that. I wanted to be the only one he’d given a name, and the idea that he’d given names to everything around here pissed me off.
I didn’t realize I was digging my nails into the nape of his neck until he reached back and covered my hand with his. “Bowen. You’re hurting me.”
I let him pull my hand away, embarrassment seeping through me. My face felt hot all of a sudden, and that sparked an immediate dread in my bones.
Was a storm coming? Already? So soon?
“What’s wrong? It’s okay, you didn’t do any damage, I just didn’t think you were aware that you were hurting me.”
His words became muffled as I turned my face up, trying to see the sky through the dense canopy. Sunlight filtered through the leaves, and I didn’t sense any kind of incoming storm. So why was my face so hot?
“Bowen?”
I lowered my gaze to Cain’s, finding nothing but concern there. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to seeing that. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, because it made me feel…
Good. Really, really good when I’d never felt good before. Every day had always been bad, worse, and horrible.
His eyes swept across my face, and he pressed the back of his hand to my forehead.
“Are you feeling alright?” His touch was firm as it moved to my cheeks.
It felt so, so good, and I wanted to grab his hand and rub my face all over it.
But his eyes turned sad when they came to rest on the muzzle, and he said softly, “Let me get that off of you. Wouldn’t you like that? Doesn’t it…doesn’t it hurt?”
I was so used to it that it had become a part of me. It didn’t hurt, not anymore. But…
What would it be like to be rid of it? And the collar. He could do that for me. He could remove them for good.
And he wouldn’t make that sad expression anymore when he looked at me. Right?
When I didn’t say anything, he sighed and started walking again. I realized my silence was only hurting my desire to hear him talk. If I didn’t respond to him, he stopped talking.
“Yes,” I said after some time had passed.
“Hm? Yes what?”
I slid my fingers down the smooth wood of the bow on his back. It was so pretty. So well made. If those big hands could make something so nice, they could get these off without hurting me, right?
“Yes. I’d like that.”
“Like—oh!” His face lit up, and he gave me the biggest smile I’d seen yet, briefly squeezing my legs. “Okay, I can do that for you. I can definitely do that for you. When we get back, I’ll grab my tools. And I promise it won’t hurt.”
The joy that had started bubbling in my chest began to fade. I was supposed to be leaving.
When we get back—
I wouldn’t be going back with him.
He kept talking excitedly, telling me all about how he was going to get them off, but it was hard to focus.
All I could think about was how disappointed he would be once he realized I’d left.
How disappointed I would be.
What if…
No.
Even if I wanted to stay, I’d end up killing him during a storm.
I had to leave, if only to keep him safe, to not hurt the one person who’d ever helped me.
I had to.
The hike off the mountain didn’t take as long as I’d thought it would.
Cain had left a small sliver of level ground at one end of the pit so he could cross it easily.
It was hidden behind a bush and some vines I never would’ve found on my own.
He also had an easier route down the ravine, but it really only worked for someone his size.
It was at the far side, a shorter descent where rocks jutted out from the dirt like giant steps for him.
The sun was high in the sky by the time the crumbling ruins came into sight.
I stared down at what had once been a town. I’d been to a lot of places thanks to Hunter and Hayes. I’d seen many towns like this one. But I’d never gone anywhere voluntarily.
Because I wanted to.
“This place used to be called Belle Ford. I mean, I guess we could still call it that.”
Belle Ford.
That sounded nice. Nicer than it looked.
Maybe I’d find another stuffed rabbit? Maybe this time I could keep it?
It wasn’t long before grass and dirt turned into broken concrete. A massive structure—a bridge?—came into view. Rusted skeletons of cars and trucks were scattered along the side of the road, vines curling over and around the metal frames. A tree had started to grow in the middle of the street.
There was a river here. It was vast, much, much bigger than the river in Cain’s woods. Did that one connect to this one?
Cain took us deeper into the town, long legs eating up the pavement.
The ground slanted and became a little steep, heading right down to the river.
But before that were quite a few buildings, some completely collapsed, some half standing.
He seemed to know exactly where he was going, and when we stopped in front of a building that was mostly intact, he set me down.
“There should be some stuff in here, but if not, we can go looking around. Stay here, I’m gonna go check it out. I’ll come get you when I know it’s clear.”
I didn’t sense any Corrupted, so I didn’t argue.
I sat down on the ground and plucked at some grass that was growing up through a crack in the concrete. A noise somewhere down the street startled me, and when I looked in that direction, my panic subsided when I saw it was just a squirrel.
I watched it hop down the road, flicking its tail and making a chittering sound, and then it disappeared around a corner. A shrill cry drew my attention to the sky, and I watched in awe as a large gray and white bird soared past.
I’d never been able to stop and study things when Hunter and Hayes would take me out. There’d never been moments where I could just pause and take in the world around me.
Moments where I could just be.
“It’s all clear.”
Cain’s low voice rumbled behind me, and when I turned to look up at him, he was holding out his hand.