Chapter 9
Bowen
Cain wanted to fix the wire before going to the river.
The moment we got back, he wiped most of the blood off of us with a washcloth.
After he replaced the wire, he made me a bowl of stew and a plate of sliced apples and sat me on the couch to eat while he did something at the table.
I set my plate and bowl beside me when I was done and watched him. He was hunched over a long, thin piece of wood, carefully slicing the tip with a sharp knife.
When his eyes suddenly flashed to mine, I sucked in a breath. My heart pounded in my chest as he started to smile.
He set down his knife, that deep voice carrying easily as he asked, “Ready to go to the river?”
My heart began thumping hard for a different reason now. I would get another chance to leave, since I’d forgotten the first time.
I glanced down at my ankle, wondering if I’d be able to run on it yet.
“I can carry you again, if you want.”
He’d misinterpreted why I was looking at my foot, but that was fine. No, that was good. Because that meant he didn’t think I’d try to run away.
I brought my gaze back to his, then got distracted by the pink on his prominent cheekbones.
He really was very nice to look at. I hadn’t seen a lot of pretty things in my life, but he was without a doubt the prettiest.
His eyebrows were a bit thin, with a nice arch, and the lashes on his eyes were really thick.
I let my gaze trail over his slightly upturned, very straight nose, down to his lips.
His bottom lip was quite…fat compared to the top one.
I stared at it, wondering why it was such a different size.
Did my lips look like that? I brought my fingers to my mouth only to be stopped by the muzzle.
Oh. I’d forgotten about that for a moment.
Disappointment rolled through me. I couldn’t tell, and now I really wanted to know.
“Do I have a fat lip?”
His eyes darted to my mouth, then back up to mine, confusion swimming in those dark depths. “What?”
I pointed at his mouth. “Your bottom lip is really fat.”
“Fat…?”
I nodded.
His brows scrunched together, and he touched his lips. He looked a little…sad? Embarrassed? I wasn’t sure, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. He wasn’t smiling.
Had I said something wrong?
“I like it,” I said, hoping that would make it better.
His gaze locked onto mine, and he slowly lowered his hand as his eyes simultaneously drifted down to my lips.
I wanted him to touch them. I wanted to touch them. And while I was eager to let him take these things off me, part of me thought it was better if I kept wearing the muzzle and collar.
I was a bloodhound, after all. Just an animal.
Maybe I should leave them on. Tell him I’d changed my mind.
“Um…” His face had darkened to a deep red, and he scratched at his head, then stood up, avoiding my eyes. “We should…we should get going before it gets dark.”
Was he upset? I didn’t want him to be upset. Had I said something wrong?
I glanced over at Cain, who was putting the new arrows he’d made into a long bag of some kind, the hunting bow right next to it.
“Okay.” His bow was so big, almost as tall as I was. He’d explained to me all about what it was and what it did, and I was so curious to see it in action. To see him use it.
I wanted to learn how to use it. I wanted him to teach me.
“Okay,” he said, with a hesitant smile. He slung the bag of arrows across his back, and then the bow.
He looked even bigger, somehow.
“Want me to carry you?”
I nodded, savoring the smile he gave me in return.
It felt like it took forever for us to make it to the river. It all looked so different from this side of the pit.
“Okay, rule number one—don’t go past that tree there.
” He pointed at a tall tree with a thin trunk.
There was a face in the bark. He kept pointing, but lowered his hand a little.
“That’s my moat pit. Where you—” He made a weird noise, and I glanced down at him.
He looked so upset that I put my hand on his head, trying to reassure him somehow. “Where you fell,” he said quietly.
I patted his head as he cleared his throat and turned toward the water. “Rule number two—”
“No.”
His brows drew together in confusion. “What?”
“No rules.”
“Okay…why no rules?”
I shook my head. “I don’t like them.”
His confusion turned into amusement, and he laughed. “Well, nobody likes rules, but they’re for your protection.”
I shook my head again, memories of Hunter flashing through my mind.
Rule number one: you disobey me, you die. It’s that simple.
“No rules.”
He studied me carefully, then bit his fat bottom lip.
I wanted to bite it too.
“Okay, how about this—I’ll just tell you things you should be careful of. How’s that? We can call them suggestions instead. Is that better?”
I nodded.
“Okay. Suggestion number two—it seems obvious but I still want to say it—no excessive noise.”
I waited for him to keep going, but he didn’t. He moved toward the water, and memories of him from that first day flashed through my mind.
Him standing naked under the fall of water.
How pretty he’d looked. How sturdy and strong and clean he was.
I wanted to see him naked again. I didn’t care about being clean. I wanted to stay in his arms, wanted him to keep touching me. I was afraid if he stopped, all these good feelings would go away with him, and I didn’t want to lose them. Not when I’d just found them.
He started to set me down on the ground, and I lunged up, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder. His big hands moved across my back in the most soothing strokes, and then he slid one up to the back of my head, tugging gently at my hair.
“It’s okay. It’s just water. You really need to get clean, especially after…” He cleared his throat and didn’t continue.
Why? Why did I need to get clean? I’d never needed to before, and I didn’t know why I needed to now.
He made a strange sound, so I drew back to look at his face, to see what his expression looked like.
He was bright red and wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t understand at all.
“Look, I’ll leave you here and give you some privacy. I’ll be right over there if you need anything, just call for me—”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. Don’t leave.”
His surprised eyes flashed to mine. “What?”
I didn’t know why he would leave me here alone, but I didn’t want him to go. “Stay.”
His wide eyes searched mine for the longest time, and his voice was deeper when he said, “You want me to…stay?”
I nodded.
“But you’ll be—” His face flushed again, and I reached my hand up to touch his cheek, to see if it was as hot as it looked.
He made a noise in the back of his throat when I pressed my fingers to his cheek. He was warm—really warm—and I wanted to rub my face against his, to soak in that warmth. Was the rest of him just as warm? Warmer?
He’d be so nice to sleep against during the long, cold winters.
I wanted to see the rest of him again. More than that, I wanted to touch him.
“You’ll be naked,” he said hoarsely, his dark eyes staring into mine.
My brows drew together in confusion. “So?”
“Uh…so…s-so…”
I’d never seen him at such a loss for words. Usually he couldn’t stop talking. What was wrong with him? Was he not feeling well?
“What’s wrong with you?” I tilted my head and slid my hand up his cheek until I got to his hair. It was as soft as it looked.
He laughed, but he didn’t sound like he was amused. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, everything’s fine.”
“Okay. Let’s go.”
His eyes darted to mine. “Well, you have to—to take off your clothes before you—” He swallowed hard, then wet his lips with his tongue. My attention was glued to that glistening fat bottom lip.
I wanted to bite it.
Taste it.
I leaned forward and was stopped by my muzzle hitting his chin. A sudden surge of rage rocketed through me, and I jumped off him, picked up a rock, and threw it as hard as I could with a frustrated growl.
I sat down, breathing heavily and telling myself he would take it off soon. He said he’d take it off when we got back. But that was later, and this was now, and right now I wanted to bite his fat juicy lip. Maybe suck on it a little.
“Bowen.” A hand fell atop my head, slowly stroking. I closed my eyes and let that deep, soothing voice chase away the frustration.
He didn’t say anything else, just my name, but that was all I needed.
My breathing slowed as he stroked his hand down my head to the back of my neck, massaging my nape just above the collar in a way that had me closing my eyes.
The pleasure that rolled through me with his calming touch was monumental.
I thought I could sit here forever and let him do this.
What would it feel like once the collar was gone? Having that weight disappear would feel strange, wouldn’t it? I hoped in a good way.
I hoped I didn’t regret letting him take them off.
That he didn’t regret it, either.
I made a noise when he took his hand away, looking up at him as irritation flickered through me.
He just smiled down at me, tipped his chin toward the water, and said, “Come on. We’re losing daylight, and then it really will be cold.”
When it was clear he wasn’t going to rub me with his big hands again, I got to my feet and pulled my shirt off, dragging the chain through it and dropping it on the ground.
It was a relief when I shoved the ratty pants down my legs and stepped out of them.
The cool air felt good on my skin, and when I looked down at my cock, it was half-hard.
I glanced over at Cain, who quickly turned away from me—but not before I saw how red his face was.
He just stood there with his back turned. Why wasn’t he taking off his clothes? Did he not need to bathe?
Disappointment curled through me. I wanted to see him naked again.
“Aren’t you coming in with me?” I stepped toward the water, which hadn’t seemed very deep when Cain was standing in it that first day—but he was a giant, and I wasn’t.
I didn’t even know how to swim. What if my feet couldn’t reach the ground and I got swept away? I glanced down the river, which seemed fairly calm right now.
“Um, no, I think you should—”
“I don’t know how to swim,” I told him quickly. He would have to come in now, right? It was true, anyway. I’d never been in any kind of water.
I dipped my toe into the water, testing the temperature. It wasn’t too cold.
“You don’t know how to…”
I glanced over my shoulder at him. His gaze was fixed on my ass, but his eyes darted up to mine as his face turned a deeper red.
“You don’t know how to swim?” he asked again.
I shook my head.
He covered his face with his hands and sighed, then muttered something to himself. When he moved his hands, he pointed at me with a hard look. “Don’t move. I mean it. Stay right there, Bowen.”
I started getting even harder, and when he removed his bow and arrows from his back and dragged his shirt over his head, revealing the broad expanse of his shoulders that tapered so nicely to his waist, I wrapped my fingers around my cock and squeezed.
He bent down and undid the ties of his boots, toeing them off.
A groan escaped me as he shoved his pants down those long, thick legs.
He was even more beautiful this close up.
He had two deep grooves at the base of his spine, one on either side. Just like the ones on either side of his mouth.
They were so pretty.
I wanted to bite them. Dip my tongue into them.
When he turned around, he had his hands over his groin. His brows went way up when he noticed I was holding myself, and he looked away.
Did he not like that? I let go of myself, but there was a building heat that was too hard to ignore, and the urge to rub my body all over his was overwhelming.
I couldn’t sense any rain, so why was I feeling like this?
“Um…we should—”
“Can you carry me?”
He made a sound like he’d just been punched in the stomach. “Carry…you…?”
I nodded.
The muscles of his throat rippled as he swallowed, and then he moved his hands, said something under his breath as he snatched something off the ground and strode toward me, picking me up easily with one arm under my ass.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, winding my arms around his neck as he stomped into the water. It sloshed around aggressively, but I was too distracted by how it felt to be skin to skin with him.
I’d never been skin to skin with anyone before.
He took us deeper, until the water was up to our necks.
“This okay?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“Yeah.”
“How are you gonna clean yourself if you’re holding onto me?”
Since I’d never been in water, taken a bath, or cleaned myself before, I didn’t know how to answer.
Remembering he’d said it wasn’t polite to not respond, even though I didn’t know the answer, I said, “I don’t know. Does the water not do that?”
He laughed softly, his hand warm against my back. “Well, you have to scrub away the dirt. The water doesn’t automatically do that for you. I mean I guess it could, if you stayed in long enough, but then you’d turn into a raisin.”
A raisin? “What’s a raisin?”
“It’s a dried-up grape.”
“What’s a grape?”
“It’s a fruit.”
“Oh. Like apples?”
“Yeah. Like apples.”
The sound of the waterfall was almost as relaxing as his voice, and when he spoke again, I slid my palm down to his chest to feel it.
“So how are you gonna clean yourself?”
“You do it.”
He choked, and I glanced up at his face. He was staring at me with wide eyes. “What?”
“You did it before. Teach me how to do it.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned, and I felt something hard brush against my ass. “You’re killing me.”
A horrible feeling churned in my stomach. Those words were awful, bringing a flood of images to my mind that I didn’t want to see.
All of them involved me standing over a bloody, lifeless Cain, a crazed look in my eyes.
I felt sick.
I tucked my face into his neck and whispered, “I don’t want to kill you. Please don’t let me kill you.”
“What? Oh…oh, fuck, no, that’s not what I meant. It’s just a—shit, are you crying? Please don’t cry, Bowen. I’ll clean you, okay? It’s no big deal. I can do it.”
I didn’t know why I was getting so upset.
“It’s just a saying, like…what I meant was, I’m having a hard time being around you naked.”
I was even more confused now. “Why?”
“Because…because I’m attracted to you,” he rushed out, the words said so quickly I almost didn’t understand them.
Attracted to me? Like he wanted to fuck me? Like what the hounds did when we were all in one big cage? I hadn’t done that before, hadn’t wanted to, not with them, but…
“You can fuck me,” I said, hoping that would make him feel better.
I just wanted him to be happy. To see that smile, feel his skin against mine and share our warmth.
I just wanted him.