Chapter 10
Ten
The echo of that long ago plea all but stopped Brax’s breath.
Had he been thinking of their first time when he’d made that pastry? Wishing for a chance to go back and do everything over again? Maybe. He’d wanted to give her something to remind her of when things hadn’t been complicated, and the only thing that had mattered was being together. He hadn’t thought beyond that, and the supply theft had derailed whatever half-assed plan he might’ve concocted. Not that he’d had a good one after being awake all night.
He’d come out here to beg her forgiveness. To talk about what might come next. Whether she could give him another chance to prove he could be something other than a short-sighted, temperamental asshole.
But he hadn’t expected this.
There was nothing on earth he wanted more than this woman in this moment. Stroking a thumb along the softness of her cheek, Brax tipped her head back and lowered his mouth to hers. Mia trembled and opened for him, her hands fisting in his shirt.
Her tongue tangled with his and the taste of her flooded into him, raspberries and sunsets and every good thing that had ever represented home. He was parched and desperate, wanting nothing more than to drown in her, to fill up this vast empty reservoir he’d been carting around for years. But he held himself back, resolved to keep things gentle, to give her some kind of tenderness, as if that could possibly make up for how much he’d hurt her. And because he wanted to savor this moment of reconnection. Savor her.
But she erupted under his hands, hauling him closer, front to front, until she pressed against the erection straining behind his fly and set fire to all his good intentions. With an impatient nip, she broke the kiss long enough to gasp, “Need you.” And when she brought her mouth back to his, she tasted of delicious madness.
Riding the wave of lust, relief, and desperation, they yanked and dragged at clothes, spinning, stumbling, until she was naked beneath him on the blanket, and he could close his mouth over one tight, brown nipple. Flexing her fingers in his hair, Mia cried out, arching against him in a familiar bid for more and faster. He didn’t have it in him to deny her and draw it out. Not this time.
Curling his tongue around that taut peak, he skated his hands down her torso, worshipping the lush curves of her breasts, past the trim nip of her waist, down to the flare of her hips and the waiting heat below. He gloried in the familiar feel of her beneath his hands, in her purrs of pleasure. Her legs parted, welcoming the intimacy of his touch. She was drenched when he drew his fingers through her folds. He wanted to bury his face there, taste her sweetness, and send her flying, but she was too far gone for that just now.
Later. He promised himself. There had to be a later.
Her breath exploded out on a curse as he slipped one finger inside her. “More.”
“Your wish.”
He worked another finger into her tight, wet heat, shifting so she could more easily ride him and take her pleasure. He’d always loved her willingness to do exactly that. Never afraid to tell him or show him what she wanted. Her body was an instrument he still knew, could still play. Curling his fingers in exactly the right way, he felt her tighten around him and watched those golden cheeks flush a gorgeous rose gold, her head falling back as the first wave of pleasure broke over her.
Brax kissed her again, coaxing the orgasm out until she lay gasping beneath him. He’d no sooner slipped his hand free than she was rearing up, wrapping around him, rolling until her knees straddled either side of his hips and his cock nestled in the wetness between her thighs.
Clinging to one last shred of sanity, he gripped her hips, held her in place. “Wait. Slow down.” There was some reason for that, he was sure of it.
But her breath sobbed out. “Please. Don’t stop.” And he was powerless to resist her plea. He’d always been powerless against Mia.
He thrust up, and she sank down until he was buried inside her. Their mingled moans echoed through the room as her body adjusted to his. How had he gone ten years without this perfection? Without her? Everything good in the world was right here. With her.
Mia took his mouth in one long, lingering kiss. And that, too, was a homecoming. Rising up, she braced her hands on his chest and began to rock, her beautiful breasts swaying to the rhythm she set. Those deep espresso eyes stayed locked on his, the brown all but swallowed by the black of her irises. She was gorgeous. Intoxicating. A goddess. His—for the moment. His hands tightened on her hips, wanting more than the moment, more than she might want to give.
The electric current gathered low in his spine, and Brax fought to hold on. Now was not the time to blow early. He wanted to claim her. To remind her of how good they were together. How no one could know her like he could. Rolling to reverse their positions, he shifted so he could thrust deeper, harder, dragging the base of his cock against her clit, exactly the way he knew she liked. Her breath grew short and ragged, her hips pistoning with his in a rhythm they both knew, no matter how long they’d been apart.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
It was a drumbeat in his chest. Primal. Necessary. With every thrust, he thought it. With every slap of flesh against flesh, he imagined imprinting it on her. And when her long cry of release echoed through the room, he let himself go, emptying everything he didn’t know how to say inside her.
Mia felt wrecked on every level. She wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. Just the necklace with their wedding rings. The bands dug into her sternum, pressed between her body and the hardness of his where she lay draped over him on the blanket on the floor. She wasn’t entirely sure how they’d gotten here. Maybe his legs had given out. She didn’t really care. She just didn’t want to move from this spot, preferring to soak up the warmth and feel of him, like a cat curled up in a spot of sunshine.
One of Brax’s big, muscled arms was hooked around her shoulders, the other draped comfortably over her ass. “Did we kill each other?” The rasp of his voice had her long-neglected lady parts waving a checkered flag to start proceedings all over again. Too bad the rest of her muscles were jelly.
“Maybe. I’m okay with it if we did.” Stupendous reunion sex seemed like a reasonably awesome way to go, all things considered.
“I’m not.”
Mia froze, her lovely afterglow fading. She tried to pull away, but Brax only tightened his grip.
“If we’re dead, we can’t do it again.”
Her heart lurched. There was that instant craving for more. Knowing she had to face it sometime, she propped herself up enough to look down into his face, carefully blanking hers. “Do you want to do it again?”
He pressed two fingers to the pulse in his throat. “I’m still breathing, so yes.”
It was such a her Brax thing for him to say. Playful. Teasing. But he was no longer hers. “Be serious.”
“I am.” He sobered, fixing his gaze on her face. “Unless this was some kind of closure for you.”
That was exactly what she’d intended. But it hadn’t felt like any kind of closure, and her romantic heart was too willing to see it as a new beginning. She couldn’t afford to go down that road. “I don’t know what it is.” That much honesty she could give him.
“Good. Because the lack of condom could’ve been a problem on that front.”
Mia buried her face against his shoulder to keep him from seeing the reaction she couldn’t quite hide. “Birth control isn’t a problem.”
“Good to know.” The rough pads of his fingers traced patterns on her bare back. “Do we have to know the answer to what we are yet? Look, I don’t know what any of this means. My entire worldview got shattered last night. I found out I’m the world’s biggest asshole, and I’m not entirely sure what you’re doing here with me right now.”
She kissed him with a lingering sweetness meant to show him she wasn’t holding on to a grudge. “You’re not. Your actions made sense with the information you had.”
He brushed the hair back from her face, eyes full of regret. “I hurt you.”
He’d devastated her. But she’d long ago made her peace with that. “We hurt each other. None of it was on purpose.”
His fingers curved around her nape, stroking at the sensitive point there. Shuddering faintly, she closed her eyes, pressing into the touch.
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I just… want to make you feel good. We can figure out the rest later. Will you let me do that?”
Her knee-jerk response was hell yes. But years of disappointment had her erring on the side of caution. What was he proposing? An affair? Dating? A new relationship? Had he forgotten they’d filed for divorce a few weeks ago?
Did she really care? She loved him. Was she really going to turn down the opportunity to be with him in any way she could, for as long as she could?
No.
That was one thing she couldn’t do.
Aiming for a lighter tone, she kissed him again. “Okay. But we should probably see about a change in venue.”
Brax laced his hands at the small of her back, holding her in place. “What? You don’t want to stay right here on this extremely special shag carpet to shag again after refueling with birthday pastry?”
At his reminder of her dessert, Mia’s stomach growled. “I am starving. Let me up.”
He complied, letting her get only far enough to snag the Danish before tugging her back into his lap. His very naked lap. Well, from this position, she knew she’d have a front-row seat to when they could start on round two.
“How did it turn out?”
“Exquisite. You didn’t try any?”
“There wasn’t anywhere I could sneak a pinch without ruining the overall look.”
Mia broke off a piece, feigning seriousness. “This pastry is a contract. I don’t share naked birthday pastry with just anyone.”
“Oh yeah? What am I contractually bound to do in exchange for a taste?”
“I have quite a few ideas.”
“Yeah? So do I.” He reeled off a few in graphic enough detail that she was wriggling in his lap by the time he was through.
“Yes, to all of that.” Mia held out the Danish. Brax nipped it neatly out of her hand with a kiss to her fingers.
“Mmm. It would’ve been better warm, but pretty damned good, considering ingredient and time limitations. If I’d thought about it sooner, I’d have been able to do a true puff pastry with better lamination. This was kind of short-cut cheat.”
She tore off another piece for herself. “Can I ask how it is you got into this? I never in a million years would have pegged you for getting into baking.”
“None of us did. We were part of the first class of students to go through a special baking therapy program, in conjunction with the VA hospital in Syracuse.”
“Baking as therapy?”
“Yeah. Dr. Graham—she’s the sociologist behind it—teamed up with her fiancé’s cousin, Rachel, who’s a professional baker, to develop the program. Turns out it’s a really solid treatment for anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I mean, it’s not like we just stayed in the kitchen. There was actual therapy, too. And for those of us who’ve fully separated from the military, it gave us a whole other professional certification so we could find jobs that wouldn’t be as likely to trigger us again.”
“Wow. And you’re… okay now?” She looked down at the pastry. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a right to ask that.”
Brax tipped her chin up. “You can ask because you care. And yeah. I struggled with some PTSD and anxiety when I got out. Eight years and multiple tours in some of the worst war zones, it wasn’t surprising. I saw a lot of shit. Did a lot of shit. It’s under control now. All three of us are gold-star graduates of the program.”
Mia had deliberately avoided thinking too hard about what he’d been doing all those years he’d been deployed. How he could’ve been hurt. What he’d had to do to survive. Needing to turn her brain to something less frightening, she handed him another piece of Danish. “You met Jonah and Holt in the program?”
“Yeah. We hadn’t originally planned to go into business together, but Jonah inherited the bar and pitched the idea. It seemed like a good one.”
“Even though I’m here?”
His arms tightened around her. “Especially now since you’re here. If Jonah hadn’t dragged me down here, if I hadn’t run into you, I’d never have known, and I’d have kept walking around with this huge piece of me just missing. I know everything’s all up in the air, but I need you to know that I’m glad we cleared the air. I’m glad we’re here, right now.”
For the moment, that was probably as good a statement of intention as she was going to get.
“I’m glad we’re here right now, too.” Mia leaned in, brushing her lips softly over his. “Now put on your pants so we can relocate to somewhere with water and a bed. I don’t relish the idea of having carpet burn on my ass.”
His grin spread wide and wicked. “How about beard burn on your thighs?”