Chapter 12
Twelve
“Well, somebody clearly had a good weekend.”
Without missing a beat, Holt flipped Jonah off and continued to sing along with “Here Comes The Sun” as he spread fresh strawberry jam over the breakfast bars he’d be sliding in the oven shortly.
Still smirking, Jonah came on inside the bakery kitchen and moved to the second set of ovens, setting them to preheat. “Are we really gonna be listening to this tooth-rotting sweet playlist this morning?”
“When you get here first, you can pick the tunes.”
He’d never been more grateful for his training to function on little to no sleep. He and Cayla hadn’t wasted a single moment of their honeymoon staycation weekend, which meant he hadn’t gotten started on his wares for the grand opening until the very wee hours of Monday morning. Absolutely worth it.
Across the room, Jonah tipped out the big plastic bin of bread dough he’d prepped last night, punching it down and dividing the dough up for boules. Holt added the top layer of oat mixture to his breakfast bars and slid them into one of the waiting ovens as The New Beatles rolled into Pharrell Williams’ “Happy.”
Brax stepped through the back door and stared. “I’m sorry. Who are you and what have you done with our generally grumpy friend?”
“Apparently, the secret to improving his mood was getting him laid.”
“I mean, he’s breathing and a dude, so that’s hardly a surprise. I’ve certainly got more pep in my step after a very happy send off from my wife this morning.”
“You’re both assholes,” Jonah complained.
“I’d say we’re both happily married men.” Brax set his travel mug of coffee down and headed for the walk-in cooler. “That is what we’re seeing here, right? You’re really happy with Cayla?”
Holt took a long glug from his bottle of water. “I am. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be awful. I like her and Maddie both. But I didn’t expect it to be quite so…”
“Real?” Brax suggested.
“Yeah.”
Jonah put the trays of shaped boules to one side to rise. “You don’t think this is just a product of close proximity and the situation?”
Holt gave the question real consideration. “No. I think the close proximity and situation just got me over whatever reservations I had about getting involved with her on the front end. I suppose, in a weird way, I almost owe her ex a thank you for getting me here.”
“That’s twisted.” Brax began to roll out the brick of puff pastry he’d pulled from the cooler. “Anything new on that front?”
“No. It’s been too quiet.” And he needed to pull his head out of this honeymoon haze and turn his attention back to that problem. The last thing they needed was to get blindsided.
Jonah shrugged. “Maybe your little caveman possessive routine actually worked.”
“Maybe. But that doesn’t fit with the personality Cayla’s described for the guy. Feels more like he’s biding his time. For what, I don’t know. If he really is planning on raising a custody suit, it takes time to pull that together, I guess. So we’re just waiting and watching.”
Brax clapped Holt on the shoulder. “No matter how you got here, marriage and family look good on you, man.”
Marriage and family. Two things he hadn’t thought he’d want after how he’d grown up. But he couldn’t imagine going back to life without Cayla or her delightfully impish daughter. He could even see them with another one.
“Why do you suddenly look like you’ve been poleaxed?”
Blinking at Jonah, Holt just shook his head. Another kid was getting way the hell ahead of things. It was just the weekend of stupendous sex talking. Or something. They’d been married for less than three weeks. He hadn’t even convinced Cayla that she wanted forever with him yet. There’d be time enough to discuss the prospect of expanding their family later, when the threat to Maddie was definitively over.
Needing to get his mind on something else, he headed to the cooler for more eggs and milk. There were popovers to be made.
The three of them lost themselves in the familiar rhythm of baking, navigating around each other as if they’d been working together for years. By the time 7:30 rolled around, their glass cases were full and the shelves behind were loaded with fresh bread.
“All right. Let’s do it.” Holt held out a fist to each of them for a bump.
Brax took up position behind the cases, and Holt stood at the register as Jonah threw open the door.
“Good morning, Eden’s Ridge! Come get your carbs on.”
“Don’t mind if we do.”
For a moment, Jonah’s mouth went slack. Then his eyes lit up as Rachel McCleary strode inside, accompanied by a familiar redhead.
“Well, aren’t y’all a sight for sore eyes?”
“No way were we going to miss your grand opening. How are you, Jonah?” Dr. Audrey Graham, the brain behind the therapy program that had saved them all, laughed as he wrapped her in a hug. “I’m guessing that’s good?”
“Absolutely.” His attention shifted to Rachel. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back down.”
The tall, willowy blonde shrugged and offered an unrepentant smile. “Surprise. We had to come offer our support.” She moved in for a hug herself.
Jonah pulled her in, and Holt didn’t miss how he curved around her, his expression softening as he turned his face into her hair.
When the hell was his buddy going to make a move? Holt had been wondering for more than a year. It was obvious Jonah felt something for their widowed teacher. It was equally obvious her affection for him surpassed what she showed the rest of them. Then again, with the distance between Tennessee and where she lived in Syracuse, maybe Jonah had decided against it. Long distance was hell.
Still, this was the second trip Rachel had made down here, and Holt was willing to bet it wouldn’t be her last.
He slipped out from behind the counter to give Audrey a hug himself. “You definitely need a tour. These two jokers can handle the crowd for a minute.”
The overall decibel level had already risen dramatically as people streamed in after the women.
While Rachel slipped behind the counter to greet Brax, Holt took Audrey back, feeling a glow of pride as he showed off their kitchen.
“How long are you two here?”
“Just a couple of days. We have to get back to the program. But we wanted to come support you guys. We’re so proud of all of you.”
“We wouldn’t be here without the two of you. Whatever you want that’s on offer is yours. Your money’s no good here.”
“That’s hardly good business.” But she smiled.
“Jonah and Brax will back me up on this. We’re grateful, Doc.”
Her cheeks pinked with pleasure and pride. “And I understand congratulations are in order. You eloped?”
“Been talking to Rachel, huh?”
She laughed. “Of course.”
Holt knew Jonah had been keeping her up to date on the goings on with the three of them, but he had no idea exactly how much detail he might’ve gone into about the unusual circumstances around Holt’s marriage. “I did. Nearly three weeks ago. Her name is Cayla, and she’s awesome.”
Rachel stuck her head through the wide pass-thru window. “Are we talking about your new bride? I want to know everything. I met her on my last trip down and adored her. She’s got the cutest little girl.”
Audrey’s brows shot up. “Jumping on into fatherhood, huh?” There was no judgment in her tone. She was too good a therapist for that, but Holt still felt weird. She knew all about how he’d had to be the parent growing up, and how he hadn’t ever intended to cross this bridge.
“Maddie’s a sweetheart.”
“She’s also extremely disappointed to be missing the grand opening in favor of school.” Cayla pushed through the swinging kitchen door and headed straight for him, rising to her toes to brush a quick kiss to his lips.
When she would have pulled back, Holt tightened his arm around her and lingered until she relaxed against him with a contented sigh. He eased back, exhaling one himself. “Hi.”
“Good morning.” There were faint smudges beneath her eyes, but the I’ve-seen-you-naked-and-plan-to-again-very-soon twinkle canceled them out.
“I gather this is she?”
Remembering there were other people around, Holt gave himself a mental kick. “Yeah. Cayla, I’d like you to meet Dr. Audrey Graham. Audrey, my wife, Cayla.”
Audrey flashed a warm smile and offered her hand.
Cayla took it, beaming in return. “Pleased to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you and your program.”
“I’ve been extremely fortunate to work with some really great guys. Your husband is one of the best.”
Cayla cuddled into him. “I know.”
Damn, if that didn’t make Holt want to puff up his chest with pride.
“Oh my God, you two are the cutest!”
“Rachel! You’re back.”
Suddenly there were a lot of women talking. Something about planning a celebration dinner later that night before Rachel and Audrey had to fly back to New York. Holt didn’t quite follow the exchange, but he figured someone would tell him where to be when, and he’d just show up and be okay.
The front door burst open, banging back against the wall.
“Holt Christopher Steele, you’ve got some serious explaining to do!”
Everybody turned toward the tattooed brunette with purple streaks in her hair and a ferocious scowl on her face. As she stalked forward, hands curled to fists, people backed away, eying her nervously. Spotting him through the pass-thru, she made a beeline for the kitchen door, shoving it open and marching inside.
“Not only did you freaking elope without bothering to tell me, but I had to hear it from Cash Grantham instead of you! What do you have to say for yourself?”
He sighed in resignation. “Hi, sis.”
Face a thundercloud, she poked him in the chest. “Don’t you ‘Hi, sis’ me, you little shit.”
Knowing there was only one way to deal with her, Holt bent and scooped her up, tossing her over his shoulder. “That’s big shit to you.”
Hadley shrieked and pounded his back. “Put me down, you oaf!”
“Not until you say it.”
“Never!”
“Fine.” He strode over and made as if to dump her in the trash can.
“Okay! Okay! Youarebigbrothersupreme!” Her shriek transitioned to an outright cackle as he flipped her back over and set her on her feet.
Holt was grinning as he absorbed her semi-tackle hug. “Hey, Squirt.”
“Good to see you, Jerkface. I could have done without that particular walk down memory lane.”
He caught her in a headlock. “Just be glad you’re too tall for me to dangle by the ankles anymore. Now come meet the woman you’re chewing my ass over.”
Hadley gave him a none-too-soft punch in the kidneys, exactly as he’d taught her, and straightened, all good cheer as she glanced between Audrey, Cayla, and Rachel. “So which one of you married my uncommunicative brother?”
Audrey and Rachel pointed at a wide-eyed Cayla, who raised her hand.
Hadley barreled toward her, wrapping her in an enthusiastic hug. “I’m Hadley. Your sister-in-law. And I really hope this dumbass let you know I existed.”
Cayla linked her arm through his sister’s, arching a brow in his direction. “I feel like you and I have a lot to talk about.”
As they both gave him the side-eye, Holt understood he was in big trouble.
“I have a niece?” Hadley’s voice was bright with excitement as she studied the photos on the wall.
That instant willingness to consider Maddie family had some of Cayla’s nerves evaporating. “She’s five.”
“She’s adorable.”
Trailed by Banana Bread, Hadley continued to wander, gaze roving over the new photos Cayla had added to the collection over the past couple of weeks. Initially, it had been part of keeping up the image of a happy little family. But she’d enjoyed documenting how Holt had slid so seamlessly into their life, and she loved seeing his little flashes of surprise when he found them.
His sister picked up the one Misty had taken of their first dance. “I’m sorry I missed the wedding.”
“It was small and fast. That was from our Hey, we eloped! party.”
She set the picture down. “Why did you elope? Not a fan of big weddings?”
Cayla laughed. “I’m actually an event planner. Big weddings are kind of my jam. But I did that once already, and it ended badly. Something different this go round seemed sensible.”
“Mmm.” Hadley didn’t have nearly the poker face her brother did. She was clearly trying to work her way around to something. Probably a polite way to ask what the hell they’d been thinking. Cayla couldn’t blame her for that. Holt was, as far as she knew, Hadley’s only remaining family. It made sense that she’d be protective of him.
“You don’t approve.”
Hadley winced. “Oh God, is that how I’m coming off? No. Please don’t think that I think that. I’m just surprised, is all. I didn’t know he was seeing anybody at all, and I definitely would not have expected him to pick a single mom.” She closed her eyes. “There I go, sticking my foot in it again. There is nothing wrong with single moms. It’s just ours was one, and it was… complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
The bright blue eyes that were so like her brother’s fixed on Cayla. “Has Holt told you anything about what it was like for us growing up?”
“Just that he raised you. He didn’t get into specifics about why.” And she’d wondered more than a little about that.
Hadley blew out a breath. “We’re gonna need fortification for this conversation.”
Pulse quickening at the prospect of having her curiosity satisfied, Cayla determined to do what she could to smooth the conversation. “It’s way too early for alcohol, but I’ve got a pint of Karamel Sutra in the freezer.”
Her eyes crinkled, her smile flashing much more readily than Holt’s usually did. “A Ben and Jerry’s woman. I like your style.”
They settled in the kitchen with bowls of ice cream.
Hadley crossed those enviably long legs and stabbed in her spoon. “So, we didn’t have what you could call a great childhood. Our dad split right after I was born, and our mom was… devastated. I don’t have any memories of him myself. Holt says he was no great prize. You know how some women just can’t be alone? Like they’re not complete without being attached to some guy? That was our mom. She was needy and clingy and, quite frankly, she couldn’t hack it as a grownup, let alone as a parent. When she was in a relationship, she was happy, and she put all her attention there. When those inevitably failed—because she had complete shit taste in men—she fell into the bottle. Either way, her focus was never on us.”
Hadley’s delivery was matter-of-fact, but the image she painted absolutely bruised Cayla’s heart. She couldn’t imagine not putting Maddie first.
“So, Holt stepped in. He made sure I was fed and clothed, and got to school on time. He saw that the bills were paid—when she actually held down a job and there was money to pay them—and he did what was necessary so we could make ends meet when there wasn’t, so social services didn’t come knocking. He changed the diapers, handled the nightmares, and kissed the scraped knees. And he learned basically every Disney song ever written because it was the only thing that would distract me and calm me down when Mom was on a bender or fighting with her latest boyfriend.”
Tears slid down Cayla’s cheeks, and a warm weight settled on her knee. BB looked up at her with soulful brown eyes. She indulged her need for comfort by stroking those velvet-soft ears. “Sounds like he was an amazing brother.”
“He was my fucking rock. But he was a parent from the time he was seven years old. He never said a word of complaint, but I wasn’t blind. I knew that wasn’t what he wanted. No kid wants that life. That responsibility. So the moment I was old enough to be out on my own, when I had a job and a safe place to stay, I told him it was his turn to do what he wanted. He enlisted. And I don’t have any doubt he’d still be out there if that IED hadn’t taken his foot and robbed him of his career. He never talked about retiring, settling down. The whole wife and family track wasn’t on his radar. He already did the parent thing with me, so I’m just surprised to find him in this situation, is all.”
No wonder he’d spent so much effort trying to resist their attraction. Of course, after that total lack of a childhood, he wouldn’t actively choose to have an instant family. If not for Arthur, they’d never have gotten here. What the hell did that say about them?
Hadley laid a hand on hers. “Please don’t take that as any sort of criticism against you or your daughter. If you make him happy, that’s the only thing that matters to me. And from everything I’ve seen, you do. I’ve never seen my brother look at another woman like he was looking at you today.”
Oh, Cayla didn’t doubt he had affection for her and Maddie both, and the attraction was a hundred percent real. But it was early days yet. So far, their unconventional marriage had been filled with mostly the easy and the fun. What happened when real life set in? When the daily grind and inevitable frustrations got to him, reminding him of all those responsibilities he’d finally been able to shed once before? She’d thought he’d have reason to regret their hasty marriage, and it looked like she was right. How long did they have before their little bubble of happiness burst and he wanted out?
The idea of it made her stomach curdle.
Hadley’s face twisted in distress. “I’m so sorry. I’ve upset you. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No. No, I’m glad you did.” She spooned up more ice cream but didn’t actually taste it. “It’s just…” Should she say anything? Holt hadn’t told his sister about their marriage. Cayla didn’t get the sense it was because he didn’t trust her.
Hadley’s eyes went wide. “Oh God. Are you pregnant? Was that why the big rush?”
“Pregnant?” Cayla’s hand instinctively went to her belly, remembering the life she’d carried there. For a moment, the yearning for another was so strong, it stole her breath. She forced a laugh. “No. Definitely not pregnant. But you’re right. There’s more to our marriage than a simple elopement. We’re… complicated.”
They’d both wiped out the ice cream by the time Cayla finished explaining how her marriage to Holt had come about.
“Oh, that makes total sense. That’s exactly the kind of thing my brother would do. He’s got that hero streak that’s fifteen miles wide. I guess that’s why he didn’t tell me.”
Because it’s not a real marriage.
Hadley didn’t say it, but the implication was there. And that just made Cayla feel worse. Every doubt she’d harbored from the moment she’d said “I do” came back four-fold. Things were great between them right now, but that didn’t mean it would stay that way. She understood that once Arthur was dealt with, once Maddie was safe, she’d have to let Holt go. His sister had, when the time had come. How could Cayla be selfish and ask any more of him than he’d already given?
“Okay, Bumblebee, it’s time to get ready for bed.”
Maddie and Hadley shot twin expressions of pleading Holt’s way. “Noooo.”
He couldn’t hold back the smile. The two of them had been smitten with each other almost at first sight. No surprise there. Maddie reminded him so much of Hadley at that age. At least Hadley in her more carefree moments.
Cayla added her parental backup. “Sorry, Munchkin. School tomorrow. Say goodnight to Aunt Hadley.”
Something was wrong. Holt could feel it. She’d been her usual charming, friendly self all afternoon and evening. Affectionate to him, to Maddie. The consummate hostess and friend during the celebratory dinner with everyone for the grand opening. The event planner who totally had all her shit together as she continued to discuss Brax and Mia’s upcoming vow renewal. The excited friend when Mia offered to swing by tomorrow to help with some stuff at Cayla’s office. But he knew something was off.
There hadn’t been a moment to get her alone to talk to her, and his oblique query about whether she’d heard something more from Raynor had been met with a headshake, which could’ve as easily meant “Not now” as “No.”
Happy as he was to see Hadley, he was ready to wrap this evening up so he could talk to his wife.
Maddie scuffed her toe on the carpet, frowning. “Stupid school. I miss all the fun things.”
Hadley crouched down to her level. “I’ve got to go home tomorrow, but I promise I’ll be back to visit. And we’re totally going to talk on the computer, okay?”
“Okay!” Maddie threw herself into some kind of complicated handshake-fist bump routine. When had she had time to learn that?
The two of them exchanged big bear hugs, then Cayla took Maddie off to start the bath routine.
It was the first time he’d had a chance to talk to Hadley alone since she’d arrived. Wanting to give Cayla time to get fully engaged in bath time, he started off with brotherly picking.
“So what have you been doing hanging out with Cash?” He and Cash Grantham went way back, before the Army. He’d known Hadley as a kid, been there to help bail her out of her rebellious teen years. But Holt hadn’t known the two of them had stayed in touch.
His sister shrugged. “He came in to get some fresh ink. I’m working on a half sleeve for him. We got to talking, and he’s the one who brought up that you’d eloped, wanting to know what I thought about the whole thing.”
Holt hadn’t asked for any kind of NDA. He’d trusted his buddy had enough discretion as a security expert not to run his mouth. But he also hadn’t expected Cash to be seeing anybody to whom the news would mean anything. “What else did he say?”
“He clammed the hell up when he found out that I didn’t know anything. So I got my ass on a plane and came out here.” Annoyance sharpened her tone. “The bigger question is why you didn’t tell me yourself.”
“That’s complicated.”
“Not so complicated. Cayla told me about her ex. It’s a good thing, what you’re doing for them.”
Holt shook off the compliment. He didn’t like looking at his marriage as the protection detail it had started as. “What did you say to her?”
“What are you talking about?”
He paused, listening down the hall. Cayla’s low laugh accompanied faint sounds of splashing from the bathroom. “She’s off. Something’s wrong. She’s acting like it’s not, but something’s wrong. What did you say to her?”
Hadley folded her arms, dark brows drawing together in insult. “I told her about mom and growing up and all the stuff you should have said to her yourself.”
He swore. Now he understood why Cayla was upset. Knowing about his past would just remind her of his initial reluctance to get involved without duress. How much harder was he going to have to work to convince his wife that he was in love with her and he wanted this marriage to be real?
“I don’t want to talk about that shit. It’s over. It’s done. That’s it.”
Hadley just leveled him with a flat stare. They both knew that their past was a huge part of what had made him who he was. But she didn’t push.
“I’m gonna head on back to the inn. I’ll stop by the bakery before I leave town tomorrow.”
“See that you do.” He wrapped her in a big hug, holding tight to the one person in the world who’d lived through the same hell he had and come out stronger. It was his proudest accomplishment that he’d been able to get her to a point where she could stand on her own two feet and take no shit from anyone.
After Hadley left, Holt joined Cayla and Maddie in time for another chapter of Mr. Popper’s Penguins . Once both dog and child were settled for the night, he and Cayla slipped out of the room. She started to head for the kitchen, but he looped an arm around her waist and steered her into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them and throwing the new lock.
She shot him an arch look. “You know she’s going to take longer to go down than that.”
“What’s wrong?”
Her eyes widened fractionally. “Nothing’s wrong.”
He closed the distance between them, backing her up against the dresser so he could box her in. “Never play poker. Something’s off.” Because he couldn’t help himself, he brushed the hair back from her face. “Tell me what turned your light down.”
After a long, humming beat, she dropped the mask she’d been wearing all night. “Hadley told me about your childhood, your mom. About you.” Her eyes were wet as she reached up to frame his face. “No child should have to grow up like that.”
She was upset on his behalf. On behalf of the kid he’d never really been. Holt didn’t know what to do with that. He’d meant what he’d said to his sister. It was over and done. No reason to get emotional about it now.
Cayla swallowed. “I get why you didn’t want to take this on.”
Her hands were still on him, but he could feel her pulling back from him.
Desperate to stop it, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “Don’t. Don’t judge us based on things I said before I knew you. Yeah, I said that the marriage and family thing was not something I wanted to do. Because I was imagining it would be just another verse of the same song I had growing up. But I was wrong. I hated what I had to do because I was a kid. Because I didn’t choose it. I didn’t have a partner. I didn’t have help. You’re nothing like my mother. You’re strong and capable, and you would never put anyone ahead of Maddie. I am in this with you a hundred percent. I—” He cut himself off before the rest of that three-word statement could spill out. It still somehow felt too soon. Like it would be pushing. “I want to be here, Cayla.”
On a sigh, she melted into him, burying her face against his shoulder. “I don’t ever want you to feel trapped with us.”
“I don’t. This marriage is not a cage. It’s a home. Maybe the first one I’ve ever had.”
Her head came up, those eyes glistening again. “Holt.”
Because those three little words were still fighting to get out, he kissed her instead, drinking deep of the sweetness he couldn’t get enough of. She wrapped around him, rising to her toes to press closer. Needing so much more than this, he banded an arm around her and edged backward, toward the oversized chair in the corner. Clearly on the same page, her hands went to his belt, having it undone and his fly down by the time his calves bumped the chair. She shoved his pants down just far enough to free his erection and nudged him to sit, only breaking the kiss long enough to snag a condom from the drawer in the little side table. He didn’t know when she’d stashed them there, but he sent up prayers of thanks as she rolled it on. Reaching beneath the skirt of her dress—another piece of forethought he blessed—he tugged down her underwear until she stepped out and crawled into his lap, coming back to take his mouth in a hungry kiss as she sank down, down, down.
They both groaned. She was the first to break the kiss to murmur, “Quiet,” against his lips.
He almost laughed. Then she began to move, and all he could focus on was the exquisite torture of her body tight around his. He needed her. Her sweetness. Her light. Her empathy. And he needed this. God, he needed this. For the rest of his natural life. As her muscles began to ripple around him, he made a fresh vow that he’d do anything to protect the peace and the home he’d found with her.