Chapter 21
Hold Possession: Playing slow, safe rugby just to keep the ball.
Translation: Stick with what you know. It’s safer that way.
Everly
“I just realized you’ve been away from me for three whole weeks and still not a single poo update like you promised,” Cliona’s
familiar Irish accent sings into my phone line early the next morning as I sit on my bathroom counter applying my makeup.
“I’m so sorry,” I drone, my voice echoing off the tile floor. “I promise I have pooed since arriving home.”
“A simple photo is literally the least you can do,” she replies with a laugh and then a sigh. “God, I’m missing you.”
“Back at you.” I turn to kick my feet off the edge of the counter. “How are you, my Irish twin? How’s your new rugby team?”
“Oh, not too bad,” Cliona sings. “Our rucks look like a drunk game of Twister still, but the girls actually pass the ball
instead of hogging it for glory plays. Total culture shock.”
I grin. “Go, sports.”
She laughs, knowing I have no clue what she’s talking about. “It’s just camp, so we’ll see how the season shapes up, but so
far, my teammates seem far better than the ones I had at Trinity.”
“Go, team!”
“Alright, Fletcher, I’ve maxed out your quota for sports talk. Let’s hear how your summer is going.”
My cheeks instantly heat like she knows what I did with her brother just days ago. “I’m doing great,” I reply, my voice rising
in pitch. “It’s been busy on Fletcher Mountain. Luke and Addison had their baby. Levi is so perfect, I’ll have to send you
a picture. My grandma is staying with them for their first week back at home, so I get to see her around the mountain this
week, which is nice. I’ve been doing random coffee deliveries in the morning for all of them just to be helpful, but I think
it’s baby madness over there.”
“Oh, wow, I can imagine,” Cliona snickers.
“It’s fun being close to everyone.” I force out the words as I glance at the time on my phone to see it’s 6:58 a.m. I hop
off the counter to head into my bedroom and pace in front of the window that overlooks the creek behind my cabin. In seconds,
my heart lurches when I spot Wolf jogging on the trail out there.
Right on schedule.
He runs that path Trista took me on earlier this week every single morning. At first, when I saw him run it, I thought it
was a coincidence, but then after a couple of days of mindful observation, I realized he is a creature of habit.
Wolf runs that path every morning around 7:00 a.m. like he has a personal vendetta against the mountain he’s trying to overcome.
His T-shirt clings to his chest as every muscle in his arms and legs works overtime to remind me just how horribly I fumbled
that gift from God.
“How was that party you took my brother to?” Cliona asks as I snap my gaze away from Wolf’s moody scowl. “His text messages
have been pathetic these last few days, so I haven’t got any good details from him.”
“Oh, it was great,” I peal and then force myself away from the window.
Mustn’t ogle your best friend’s brother when your best friend is currently on the other end of the phone.
“I mean, kind of great. Some cunts from my high school showed up, and that wasn’t very pleasant, but I made it out of there
alive.”
“Did you just say cunts?” Cliona laughs into the line. “My brother must be rubbing off on you.”
“He’s not rubbing on me,” I blurt defensively, my voice high and breathy.
“What?” Cliona chortles. “I said rubbing off on you. I’ve never heard you casually use the word cunt.”
“Oh . . . um . . . yeah, maybe.” I shrug, even though she can’t see me. “It was just stupid high school drama.”
“Well, I’m glad you had Wolf there with you, then,” she says knowingly. “He’s pretty decent in those kinds of situations.”
I nod and frown as I think back to that night. Weirdly, it feels like weeks ago, and it was just days. He was great that night.
Perfect, even. And he was great in my car when he opened up about his own bully experiences. I felt seen and understood in
a way I’ve never felt before.
And then I fucked it all up by being a freak and rushing from my car into my cabin without talking to him after our first
kiss. And then running out of his apartment after he went down on me.
God, Everly, seeing a pattern here?
“Yeah, he was really kind,” I reply honestly, walking out to the kitchen for a coffee. “I’m going with him to his training
camp tomorrow to talk to his coach and teammates about being involved in a charity auction we’re doing for the rescue center.”
“Oh, lovely! I’m so glad he’s being open to that.”
“I didn’t really give him much of a choice,” I reply with a dry laugh.
“Of course you didn’t. Even my beast of a brother is no match for Everly Fletcher.”
I chew my lip before I hear myself say, “He kind of . . . told me he didn’t used to always be so big.”
“Did he?” Cliona says, her voice softer and more serious. “He doesn’t often talk about that.”
“Yeah . . . it came up after my high school bullshit.”
She clears her throat. “Yeah, he didn’t have the best childhood. It wasn’t until I forced him to start playing rugby that
I think he really came into his own. I just wish his friend could have found something like that.”
“Finn?” I ask, recalling the name he mentioned in my car.
“Jesus, he really did open up to you.” Cliona sounds awestruck. “Finn was a sweet lad, but he really resented Wolf for going the sports route.
It was some older rugby boys who used to bully them.” Her voice trails off as she clearly struggles with how to finish that
sentence. “I shouldn’t share all this. It’s not my story. But Wolf still carries guilt for falling out with Finn, I think.
It’s a big reason why he struggles with his temper on the pitch. He just can’t seem to let go of the past, I think.”
My heart breaks for young Wolf, picturing his big brown eyes on a scrawny frame. I wish I could ask Wolf more about Finn and
his childhood, but I’ve screwed up any chance of that type of relationship with him now.
“If you can get him to open up about it at all, I think it’d be really good for him.”
“Oh, I don’t think your brother wants to be my friend,” I reply with a dismissive laugh.
“Nonsense,” she tsks into the phone. “Wolf always speaks so highly of you.”
“He does?” I ask, my throat tightening.
“Yeah . . . he told me that he thinks you’re the sole reason I didn’t go into a massive depressive episode after the mess
with my ex.”
“What do you mean? We barely ever even spoke about your ex,” I say sincerely.
“I know, but that’s what I needed in a friend at the time,” she replies, her voice soft and reflective. “Wolf says you have
this uncanny way of meeting people where they are. You push, but never too much. Just enough.”
“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that,” I huff self-deprecatingly.
“Then people don’t know you the way I do—we do,” she corrects.
And when I realize she’s including her brother in that statement, my heart flutters. To know that Wolf spoke of me at all
to his sister feels good. He doesn’t hate me. Then why is he working so hard to keep me at arm’s length? Maybe he truly doesn’t want any distractions while he’s in Colorado.
By the time we end the call, I find myself staring down at the red barn, wondering why he doesn’t at least want a friend in
me when he clearly doesn’t despise me.
But maybe I’m reading too much into it all. Maybe him noticing something about me doesn’t mean he cares about me. God, maybe
if I’d followed my own matchmaking rules, I wouldn’t be in this ridiculous situation to begin with.
But this is typical me. I get in my own way and can’t ever figure out how to just be happy. This is why I matchmake. It’s
easier to fix everyone else’s love life than work on my own. Why did I think I could be any different with Wolf?
I shake my head as my aunt Trista’s advice percolates in my mind. You gotta put yourself first occasionally, or you’re going to have no life of your own when it’s all said and done.
I wish her words could help me, but the moment I tried putting myself first, I ended up getting dumped in a hay mound before
I even figured out what I actually wanted.
This kind of discomfort isn’t worth it.
I just need to go back to what I know. Helping others. At least when I’m playing Cupid, I’m not handing anyone a bow to shoot
me in the heart.