Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic.
May repeated the mantra to her hammering heart as she tried to breathe steadily. Xavier had absolutely rocked her world. She’d seen stars. And neither of them had thought about birth control.
Shit!
When she’d grabbed him up and kissed him, she’d noticed tension on his face that shouldn’t be there—not after they’d both had such strong releases. That’s when it hit her. They hadn’t used protection.
As she watched his fantastic ass leave the bedroom, the panic she’d been trying to avoid hit her full force. When he shut the bathroom door with a soft snick, her panic was twofold.
She squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath. Then another. One more for good measure.
It was okay. Everything would be okay.
Shit! She wasn’t sure she’d effectively convinced herself.
By the time he pulled open the bathroom door, she was on her feet and promising to be “back in a sec!”
She used the facilities, washed her hands, and gave herself a silent pep talk in the mirror. Then she counted to three, but she couldn’t quite make herself leave the sanctuary of the bathroom. Out there, she’d have to face reality.
Which she’d have to face eventually. So, she took another deep breath, gave herself another count of three, and yanked open the door.
“Eep!” She nearly jumped out of her skin when she found Xavier standing in the hallway. Her poor heart.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” He offered a gray robe. “Thought you might want this.”
“Thank you.” She threaded her arms into the thin cotton robe.
It was too big for her, but she gathered the excess fabric and knotted the tie at her waist. He’d put on a pair of jeans but nothing else.
She admired his muscular chest, and memories of him over her, driving into her, filled her mind.
It’d been so long since she’d been able to let go in the bedroom.
Since she’d been so into what was happening between her and the other person…
It was no excuse for forgetting the condom, but it was also not that surprising.
He took her hand and led her into the bedroom. When they sat side by side on the edge of the bed, she was doubly grateful for the robe. Being dressed made her feel less vulnerable.
“That was amazing.” He still had a hold of her hand, and his thumb was brushing her fingers in a soothing motion. “I swear, I never forget…that. I’m always thinking about, you know… Consequences.”
“Right, me too. Always.” She licked her lips, nervous. “I-I’m not sure what happened, exactly. I mean…I know what happened. But I wasn’t thinking clearly. That’s not like me.”
His smoky gaze locked onto her. “I couldn’t think after I’d had a taste of you. My entire body saw nothing but green lights.”
“I saw lights, but they were all different colors.” She grinned, and he grinned back at her. They were going to be okay. She forced her shoulders to relax.
“You want to know what I think?” he asked, then actually waited for her to nod before he continued.
“Freaking out about it now won’t change anything.
And honestly, what are the chances that the one time we…
” He shrugged. “This happens to lots of people who don’t end up pregnant. And even if you do—”
“Yeah. Yes. I get it.” She shook her head, mostly to dislodge the P-word. She wasn’t prepared to consider that terrifying possibility.
“If you’re worried about STDs, I’m clean. I’m usually very responsible when it comes to this. I swear.”
“I believe you.” She closed her eyes, not wanting to picture him in bed with any woman other than her. The spike of jealousy made no sense. She’d been the one drawing the boundary lines. He’d been obeying her rule. “You don’t have to worry about me either.”
“I’m not. I’ve seen the losers you date.”
She burst out laughing, which further relaxed her shoulders. “Let’s not talk about them.”
“Agree. Let’s not.” He chuckled softly. “So, all good. And next time, we’ll have the presence of mind to be safer.”
“Next time?” she whispered.
“Next time. Until then, I’m not going to worry. And neither should you.” He offered an easygoing Xavier smile—the one she’d come to count on. It was like a lifeline. Part of her knew that everything was going to be okay.
So, she’d take the cue from him and not worry about anything. He was right—worrying wouldn’t change anything. When and if there was an issue with her cycle, she’d handle the consequences. “Thanks for showing me your skylight.”
“Anytime.”
She glanced up at the skylight window where the edge of the moon was visible.
“Listen,” he started. “If you want to—”
“I should go home,” she said before he made an offer he couldn’t take back.
“I have a lot to do tomorrow. The things I usually do on Saturday but didn’t have the chance to because I spent the entire day at a wedding with you.
Not that I’m complaining! I didn’t mean it that way.
But I have to do laundry. Pack my lunch.
I should probably tidy up. I hate coming home from work to an unorganized house. ”
While she blathered on, he watched her patiently.
“Sorry. I’m rambling.”
“You don’t have to let me off the hook.”
Damn. Was that what she’d been doing?
The weight of the day pressed down on her as the adrenaline ebbed from her veins into her limbs. She was suddenly very tired.
“You can stay,” he said, and she wondered if he’d noticed her fatigue. “Seriously. It’s cool. I can make you coffee and drive you home in the morning—with plenty of time for laundry and tidying up.”
She rolled her eyes at herself.
“Spare toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet. Not because I have a lot of overnight visitors,” he pointed out, “but because I accidentally ordered a five-pack online.”
If she argued about staying, she’d be making a bigger deal out of it than she should. It was late. They were both tired. Sleeping here was logical.
She gave in with, “I’m not gonna lie, I could sleep.”
He pressed a fast kiss to her lips. “You can have my bed.”
She was already shaking her head.
“Don’t argue with me, May. I mean it.” He stood and grabbed a pillow for himself, leaving her three. “Have enough blankets?”
“I can’t ask you to sleep on the couch.”
“You didn’t.”
“Xavier.”
“Are you an early riser or do you like to sleep in?”
She wasn’t positive she’d be able to sleep at all with his scent and his bedsheets wrapped around her, or if her brain decided to trot out new scenarios about what had potentially occurred tonight. Nevertheless, she answered, “Early, but like seven o’clock. Not five a.m. or anything crazy.”
“Seven, it is. ’Night.”
“’Night.” He left, shutting the door and leaving her in the silence of his bedroom. Just her and her thoughts.
She fell back on the bed and hugged one of the pillows against her chest. Today had been a whirlwind of complicated emotions, memories, and sensations. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep, her brain having decided to give her a break for the night.
May had every intention of doing her laundry and preparing for the week when she arrived home. Lisa, however, had other plans.
Just as well, considering the awkward morning at Xavier’s.
Her eyes had sprung open at five-thirty a.m., much earlier than she’d promised or anticipated.
She’d visited the bathroom and listened for movement downstairs but had heard nothing.
After scrolling through her phone long enough to suffer a hand cramp, she finally ventured downstairs around 6:45.
The pillow and blankets were in a stack on the sofa, though he didn’t appear to have been awake long. His eyes had been hooded and sleepy, his hair a disaster. He was absolutely gorgeous, even in the morning sunlight. Especially in the morning sunlight.
She’d stayed for coffee. They’d talked on the drive to her house, keeping things light. The tension was present between them but not stifling. They’d agreed last night not to worry about what could have happened. So there really was no need to bring it up come morning.
Lisa had called as Xavier pulled into May’s driveway. He caught sight of Lisa’s name on the phone’s screen. “She’s calling for a full report, I assume?”
“Something like that.” May had pressed the button on her phone as she opened the passenger door. Before she said hello, Xavier called out, “Hi, Lis! May, talk soon.” Then he’d sent her a wink and reversed out of her driveway.
Now, Lisa was standing in May’s living room.
She’d brought coffee and breakfast sandwiches for both of them from Cup of Jo’s.
Lisa popped the last of her croissant into her mouth and chewed.
“Okay. So. I need every last detail.” She swallowed a drink of coffee.
“Every sordid, juicy detail you can remember. Unless he fucked your brains out, at which point you are excused from remembering anything.”
May shook her head but laughed. Lisa wasn’t that far off with her assessment. “The sandwich is delicious. Was Elliott working this morning?”
“No, no, no. You are not derailing this conversation to talk about Elliott, or anyone else for that matter. We are only talking about you and Xavier, with a slight detour to Prescott. Has he grown any warts on his face? Is he hideously disfigured?”
“Neither.” May sipped her latte. Caramel. Good choice. “He’s the same buff, bald-headed, attractive, personality-less jerk I broke up with years ago.”
Lisa emitted a noncommittal grunt. She knew May’s past, so there was a shorthand when it came to discussing Prescott Stanton.
“He brought a date.” May took another bite of her sandwich. She hadn’t been hungry at first, but eggs and cheese and bacon had a way of waking up a girl’s appetite.
“Not surprising.” Lisa settled onto the sofa next to May.
“They’re engaged.”
Lisa’s mouth dropped open.
“Oh, and they bought a house.”
“That is surprising.”