Chapter 247
CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED FORTY-SEVEN
NICOLE
I sat on the bed in Kai’s spare bedroom with Hannah’s belongings spread across the purple comforter. Dim lights flooded into the room from the small Christmas tree that I had put up three days ago with purple and white ornaments.
While we weren’t staying here permanently, somehow, Akio had convinced Kai to let me make small changes to the bedroom to make it cozier. And it really was the first time I’d ever had the chance to decorate the way I wanted.
These past few weeks had been shit, but—let’s be honest—so had my entire life.
Except being with Akio made it all hurt a little less.
The pain was still there, and I thought it would follow me, no matter the years or decades that passed. But now, I could finally live a life. Not just a happy life. A life. One that I chose. One that I wanted. And maybe one that Hannah might’ve wanted too.
Akio’s voice drifted from the other room as he spoke with Kai, his words hushed, but I could still hear bits and pieces of their conversation about my father. I turned my attention to the purse that I had brought with me, the one I had filled with my sister’s belongings.
Hannah had suffered in silence, all to protect me, and I had never understood the depths of her pain until it was too late. Except now that my father was dead, now that I had nobody left to hurt me, I thought … maybe she would’ve been happy.
My fingers danced along all her little knickknacks I could find in her old room that Dad had turned into his office.
A small anime figurine. A crumpled sticker that she had gotten out of a sticker machine at our local grocery store.
A couple of buttons that had been ripped off her favorite dress by Dad—that was, before he’d burned the dress when she died.
And my favorite item of hers of all—her necklace.
I grasped it in my hand and pulled it close to my heart, a tear sliding down my cheek.
“We did it, Hannah,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “We did it for you.”
Once I locked the necklace around my neck, I grabbed her purse and opened it up one last time.
It was ripped in several places from how much she’d used it over the years and refused to use any of the more stylish ones that our father had bought her.
But I wanted to use it too. It fit the style that I thought I had.
Inside, there was a zipper. I pulled it open and reached inside to find small pictures that I had never seen before.
Pictures of us together—sitting on a swing at her old elementary school with me in her lap, her holding me with the biggest smile on her face at the Overlook, me hugging her thigh as tightly as I could before she left on what Dad had called a vacation.
Only then … I hadn’t known it was a permanent vacation.
A sob escaped my mouth because I had thought I didn’t have any pictures of her. I’d feared for so long that the memory of her face, of her smile, was fading. And now, I had these, which I would forever savor.
The door opened, and Akio peered into the room. “Is everything—”
“I miss Hannah,” I cried, pulling my knees to my chest and holding myself in a ball.
Akio slipped into the room, sat down beside me, and pulled me to him. “I’m sorry.”
What we had done was necessary and what Hannah would’ve wanted because for so long she had been my father’s prisoner, just like I had, but I wished that she could be here, enjoying this with me.
“It’s not fair,” I cried because I had never had much of a chance to, “that she had to die.”
“She didn’t die,” Akio said. “Your father killed her.”
While it didn’t make anything better, it was a clear distinction that needed to be made.
“She should be here, but you did what you could for her now,” Akio said, gently rubbing my shoulder. “And I’m sure that she’s with you and she will continue to be with you every step of the way in whatever kind of life you choose to live.”
Though I wasn’t sure what kind of afterlife there was, I really hoped that Hannah was watching, that she approved of what I had done, and that she would be proud of me for the life that I would live for her. For us.