Chapter 2
TWO
STELLA
“I swear, tape guns were invented by Satan himself,” I mumble as I attempt to drag the not-nearly-sticky-enough strip across the top of the moving box.
I just finished my most recent contract—thirteen weeks in Charlotte, North Carolina—and I’m packing up to head back to my hometown of Tinsville, Pennsylvania, to figure out what I want to do next.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being a nurse.
There’s nothing more rewarding than helping a patient through the recovery process, knowing you truly made an impact.
I’ve spent the last seven years of my life learning and growing, so I can give the best possible care to the people who need me, and it’s been worth every minute.
But the traveling? Moving from city to city every few months, living out of suitcases and making friends just to leave them?
I thought I’d enjoy seeing all kinds of new places and working in different environments, but at the risk of sounding ungrateful…
I’m not completely sure it’s for me. I miss having a home to go to every night—one that was mine, not rented for three months at a time.
A year ago, travel nursing seemed like a dream come true.
When I arrived at the Cleveland Clinic for my very first assignment, I was full of hope and excitement.
At first, I barely even noticed how lonely I was, because my job kept me busy.
By the time my days off rolled around, I was so exhausted that all I wanted to do was sleep.
I fell into a routine of staying in, binging on junk food, watching trashy reality television, and only leaving when the refrigerator needed to be restocked or I ran out of toilet paper.
By the time I took the other nurses up on their offers to hit the clubs for some fun, my time in the city was ending, and I was moving on to another.
That’s been my life for the past twelve months, which is why I’ve decided to take a small break.
I need to step back and consider what I really want going forward.
I stand, lifting the box from the floor and carrying it out the front door toward my SUV.
It’s full of my signature colorful scrubs, so it’s easy enough to load up by myself, thankfully fitting perfectly beside my other belongings with plenty of room to close the trunk.
I mentally high-five myself for going with the full-size vehicle, because it’s made the moving process a lot easier.
Returning to the house, I make one final walkthrough to ensure that I haven’t left anything behind.
I wish I could say I have a bunch of memories I’ll be taking with me from my time in this adorable two-bedroom bungalow, but that would be a lie.
The connections I made with my fellow nurses and other staff members at Carolinas Medical Center never went beyond the walls of the hospital, which is my own fault.
I could’ve done more, but knowing any friendships I created would soon be long-distance made the idea seem daunting and pointless.
I already have that with my best friend, Arden, and it sucks.
She’s currently playing professional volleyball in Florida, where she lives with her two professional baseball player boyfriends.
I’ve known Jackson since we were kids, but Hawk is practically a stranger to me because I haven’t been able to meet him in person yet.
Between me traveling for work and all of them traveling with their teams, our schedules haven’t matched up, but I’ll definitely be planning a trip to Daytona Beach after I’m settled in at home.
If it means getting a break from my parents, who are still a bit overbearing of their grown-ass twenty-six-year-old daughter, consider my flight booked.
I love them, but I give it a week before my mother starts crossing boundaries and inserting herself into my business like she always does.
Certain I’ve left the place exactly as it was when I moved in, I remove the house key from my keyring and place it on the kitchen counter per the landlord’s instructions.
Saying one last goodbye to the comfy sofa that’s seen me at my best and worst over the last three months, I’m startled as my phone vibrates against my ass.
I reach into the pocket of my denim shorts, pulling it out to find Lauren’s name and a silly photo of us from the nurses’ station of the Intensive Care Unit.
She was my supervisor in Cleveland, and the only co-worker I still talk to on a regular basis.
She never treated me like an outsider and was always eager to learn every tip and trick I had.
She’s a workaholic like me, so we just clicked—and now we spend at least one night a week drinking wine and complaining about our pathetically lonely lives via FaceTime.
“You caught me just in time,” I say in greeting. “I was about to get in the car and start that spicy audiobook we talked about. Just me and my new fictional soulmate for the next eight hours.”
She laughs. “You can’t have him. I finished reading it first. Therefore, I get dibs. You’ll have to find another six-foot-five hockey player with a secret tattoo. Sorry.”
I scoff playfully. “Not everyone can pump absolute filth through their earbuds on the job and keep a straight face. Some of us have to wait until we’re at home, where we can make all the slutty faces and noises without fear of judgment from people like Doctor Resner, who very clearly hasn’t felt the touch of a man since Beanie Babies were a thing. ”
“What can I say?” she quips. “It’s a gift.
Anyway, that’s not why I’m calling. I know you said you’re taking a break right now, but something came up and I immediately thought of you.
It’ll be the easiest job you’ve ever had, and the highest paying.
Plus, the patient has a guesthouse, so room and board are included.
I’d take the position myself if I could, but he’ll need someone to be available around the clock for about six to eight weeks while he recovers. ”
I shouldn’t entertain the idea. I made a promise to myself that I would take a few months to try and figure out what I want out of life.
After making one of the worst decisions possible in college—one that took me a long time to move on from—I didn’t think I deserved all the happiness I had dreamed of as a kid.
My decision impacted not only one future, but two, and I beat myself up for a long time over it.
I immersed myself in school, taking the first job that came my way after graduation and working as many hours as I was legally allowed to.
I practically ran myself into the ground by never resting because I knew that as soon as I stopped, I’d realize how royally I had fucked up.
But seeing Arden so content after years of loneliness gave me hope that maybe, someday, I could be happy again, too.
This job sounds a little too good to pass up, so I can’t stop myself from asking for more details.
“What is he recovering from? And who is this guy that he can afford to pay me more than I make on my regular assignments?” It’s no secret that travel nurses make a very decent living.
It wasn’t the main reason I chose to do it, but it certainly didn’t hurt knowing that I would be able to not only take care of myself, but put the extra money into a savings account.
I’m proud of my little nest egg, which I’ll someday be able to use to build the life I’ve always dreamed of… well, almost.
“He’ll be going in for rotator cuff surgery next week.
I’m not able to discuss any other details with you until you sign a nondisclosure agreement because he’s very high profile, but he’s thirty-five years old, in excellent physical shape, and spent a decent stint in the ICU after being injured at work.
He suffered a punctured lung that resulted in a pretty bad case of pneumonia.
It’s been almost three months since it happened, and doctors are confident that his lungs are finally strong enough to handle the shoulder surgery.
His parents are both deceased, he has no siblings, and no significant other.
So, he mainly needs someone around to administer medications, check his incision wound for signs of infection, change dressings, and help with anything else he may not be able to do.
He’s very independent, so I imagine he’ll probably try to fight you on some things, but your personality is a great match for his.
You’re not a pushover, and that’s exactly what he needs. ”
“And he’s there in Cleveland?” I ask. I know it’s a big city, but one of the people in it is a ghost from my past, and under no circumstances can I cross paths with him.
When I walked away all those years ago, I was given an ultimatum.
Either talk out my reservations regarding our future or never speak to him again.
The choice wasn’t easy, and I truly thought it was better to end it before the damage was so irreparable that we wouldn’t be able to come back from it.
But the longer I was forced to sit with my consequences, the more I realized that I let my own fears and the opinions of my family ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It doesn’t change anything now, though. Because in the end, I left—and watching him live out every one of his dreams without me by his side has been the most painful punishment I’ve ever endured.
“He lives about twenty miles outside of the city,” she explains.
“His house is in a private area, but it’s not so desolate that delivery services won’t go out there.
I know what a hermit you are, so unless you actually want to leave, you won’t have to.
Although it may be good for you to get out and have some fun every now and then.
Especially since you won’t be far from me.
If anything, at least we can do our weekly venting sessions in person. ”
I want to tell her everything, but it’s all so fucked.
How do I say that returning to Cleveland, with my ex-husband—a man she knows nothing about—playing for their professional football team, would turn me into even more of a recluse than I already am?
I thought I got off scot-free with my assignment at the clinic ending just weeks before he was drafted by the Renegades, but being in such close proximity to him now would have me walking on eggshells every day.
It’s bad enough that I’ve seen him online with other women on his arm, but if I saw it in person?
That may actually do me in. However, if she’s right, and this guy lives far enough away, I could keep to myself.
It’s only eight weeks, max. I can get it over with, bank more money, and figure out my next move in the meantime without my parents breathing down my neck.
“He’s not a creep or anything, right?” I question with a raised brow. “I understand you can’t tell me anything personal without an NDA, but you know him well…and you trust him? If I’m living on his property, I need to know I’m safe.”
She releases a soft breath of understanding.
“He’s a great guy, Stell. I promise. I got to know him really well when he was in the ICU, and even though he’s rich and successful, he’d give the shirt off his back to anyone in need.
I wouldn’t even think of suggesting this job if I thought it would put you in harm’s way.
Like I said, you’ll have the guesthouse to yourself, and I’m only a ten-minute drive from you if you need anything.
You’ll also get a chance to meet him before you decide, which I’m sure will put you at ease.
Just come here. See if it’s a good fit. If not, you can get right back in your car and head to Pennsylvania. ”
She’s right. Cleveland is just a small detour on the way back to Tinsville. I can go there, feel things out, and make a choice after I have all the details. Plus, I miss Lauren, and I’d love to see her. If nothing else, this little pit stop will give us a chance to catch up.
“Put the wine on ice. I’ll see you in about eight hours.”