Chapter 8 Stella #2
Lifting my phone from the nightstand, I’m grateful that it’s almost time to get ready for work.
Austin has a post-op appointment this morning, and since he can’t drive yet, I’ll be taking him.
It’s good, though, because the man is stubborn as hell, and he’d probably try to bamboozle me into letting him do more around the house if I don’t hear with my own two ears that he’s not allowed.
Just yesterday, he argued that he was well enough to ride his ATV around the property so he could, in his exact words, get some fresh air.
I opened a window and told him that was the extent of his fresh air for the day, which earned me an eye roll and the silent treatment for about twenty minutes.
Normally, light activity would be good for recovery, but Austin struggles with the concept of taking anything slow, and it’s my job to make sure he rests when he should.
Lauren chose me for this position because she knew I wouldn’t allow him to get away with anything, and I’m not going to let either of them down. He’ll thank me later—I’m sure of it.
I find the floor with my feet, stretching my back as I stand.
My entire body aches, probably from a mixture of poor sleep and the fact that my period is on its way.
But there’s no time to focus on either as I make my way to the kitchen and turn on the coffee maker.
My phone buzzes in my hand, so I unlock it, my heart doing somersaults in my chest as Arden’s photo lights up across the screen.
We used to FaceTime often, but with her busy schedule, we haven’t seen each other in weeks.
Smoothing my wild hair, I hold the device up, answering her call. “Oh my God!” I say, faux excitement lacing my tone. “I can’t believe it! The pride and joy of the Sunshine State, Arden Levine, is calling me?”
She rolls her eyes. “Shut up. I’ve had late practices all week and three away matches in a row. It’s my first day off in months.”
I smile softly, so full of pride. She had a tough rookie year, with a coach who was an absolute bitch to her.
But now that she’s gone, my little star is shining for the whole world to see.
She’s an inspiration to young girls everywhere and the best setter the Professional Volleyball Association will ever see. Maybe I’m a little biased, but still.
“Are your boys taking good care of you?” I ask. “Reminding you to slow down every now and then? Because I’ll come beat their perfectly sculpted asses if not.”
She giggles. “They are. Last night, Hawk showed me how to make chocolate soufflé, and Jackson followed it with a massage before bed. I woke up between them, and none of us had to rush out of the house for the first time in what feels like forever. How about you? How’s the new job?”
We talked briefly the day I met Austin, and even though I should’ve told her who he was, I didn’t.
Part of me was still trying to process the fact that he was Emmett’s teammate, and the other part of me didn’t want the inevitable questions about what I’d do if I saw him again after all these years.
I preferred to live in the delusional world where I could hide from anyone who came to visit Austin, which was quickly proven to be exactly that—delusional—just over a week later.
But nobody knows my situation better than my best friend, and I really need her right now.
“About that…” I say, a subtle cringe twisting my features.
Her smile falls, brows pulling tight like she knows I’m about to drop a major bomb.
I hesitate for a second, nerves washing over me as I swallow the lump in my throat.
Knowing I’ll feel so much better once I say it out loud, I throw caution to the wind, telling her everything.
“My new boss is—or was—the starting quarterback for the Rock City Renegades.” Her eyes go wide with surprise, jaw hanging slack, but she doesn’t say a word.
“He got injured at the beginning of the season, but the doctors wanted him to be more stable before they fixed everything. At first, I didn’t know who I was meeting with, but by the time I figured it out, his story had already pulled at my heartstrings.
He literally has no one and needs somebody who knows how an athlete’s brain works. I couldn’t say no, Arden.”
She exhales slowly, understanding passing over her expression. “So, he knows Emmett.”
“Yeah,” I reply, my teeth worrying my lower lip.
“At first, I thought I could just make myself scarce when Austin had visitors. I’m staying in the guesthouse, so it’s not like we’re sharing any of the same spaces.
But yesterday, I opened the door and—” I pause, my voice getting caught in my throat as tears fill my eyes.
They spill over immediately, the dam I’ve been trying desperately to hide behind all morning finally breaking, despite my efforts.
“Oh, Stell,” she whispers softly as I lose the battle, dropping down to the floor before hugging my knees to my chest. I feel so empty.
My best friend is hundreds of miles away when all I want is to feel her arms around me.
She was my rock throughout the divorce, and to this day, she’s the only person who knows just how deep my feelings of regret run.
She’s pleaded with me over the years to tell Emmett how I feel—that he would understand—but thanks to the internet, I’ve literally watched him move on.
Why would he entertain the girl who broke him when he has beautiful women lined up outside his door vying for his attention?
I wouldn’t survive him telling me that he found someone who gave him everything I didn’t.
Keeping my distance up until now was the only way to ensure that he never got the chance.
“He hates me,” I choke out. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget the way he looked at me, Arden. It was pure resentment and anger. There’s nothing left of us.” I hang my head, tears soaking my face. My heart feels so tight and heavy, I’m convinced it may shatter at any moment.
“He doesn’t hate you,” she replies. “I’m sure he just didn’t expect to see you there.
He was probably in shock, and I’d imagine that having you in front of him stirred up some painful memories, but the type of love you guys had—it doesn’t just go away, Stell.
That shit can’t be turned off, no matter how many years go by.
Look at me and Jacks. We denied our feelings and tried to make them go away for almost a decade, but as soon as we returned to each other’s orbit, they came flooding back.
So, maybe Emmett is sorting through his emotions, but I know him, and you were his world.
There’s no way he doesn’t still hold some of that deep down. ”
I shake my head, swiping at the moisture along my cheeks, but it’s useless with the way the tears keep coming. “No. You weren’t there. I saw it with my own two eyes. I’m nobody to him. It’s like we never existed at all.”
“I think you’re wrong, babe,” she says again, her voice soft and warm.
God, I miss her. “Just give it time. You both need to process everything that’s happening—him especially.
Even though you thought you were doing the right thing by divorcing him, it broke his heart.
He has every right to feel angry in this moment, but I truly believe there will come a day when the two of you can be around each other and not be overwhelmed by the pain of what you used to be. ”
I sniffle, hoping like hell that she’s right.
His reaction to seeing me was completely valid, considering all the agony I put him through.
The best I can hope for is that, eventually, he’ll look at me and not see the monster that left him behind while his pleas fell on deaf ears.
But he doesn’t owe me a damn thing, and I need to prepare myself for the possibility of this being our new reality.
“I have to get ready for work,” I mumble, wishing I could just stay right here on this floor all day.
But Austin can’t be late, so I’d better get moving.
“Thank you for being by my side through all of this. I know you’ve had your own problems, but I’ll never forget the nights where you were the only thing holding me together. ”
Her eyes fill with tears, head tilting thoughtfully before she speaks.
“I’ll always be here to hold your hand, no matter what.
It’s going to be okay, Stella.” I truly don’t know what I did in this life to deserve a friend like her, especially with all the things I’ve done wrong, but I’ll be grateful until my last breath.
After we say our goodbyes, I stand, pour myself a cup of coffee, and head toward the bathroom to shower.
I purposely avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I already know the events of the last twenty-four hours have taken a toll on me.
Maybe it’ll get worse, and I’ll have to see my ex-husband all the time, or maybe his visit was a rare occurrence.
Either way, Austin deserves the best care possible, so I need to push forward, even with the weight of my mistakes resting on my shoulders.