43. Savannah
forty-three
Savannah
The banging on my apartment door wakes me from a deep sleep. I roll over with a groan and stretch my arms overhead. Muscles I didn’t even know could be sore, ache. Yesterday’s emergency turned into a nightmare.
I feel like one big raw nerve ending, and all I want to do is hide in my bed and cry a little until Nico comes home tomorrow. I lost more patients in one day than any one doctor should ever lose in their entire career.
More knocking and muffled voices force me to climb out of bed.
“Why do people keep banging on my door?” I pull on a pair of sweats, a tank top with a built-in bra, and one of Nico’s Evaders’ hoodies that I stole while we were lying outside on the chaise the night we did a little more than stargazing.
White-hot tingles rush through every vein in my body at the sex-filled memories as I exit my bedroom.
I pause and glance at the wall of glass that leads to the balcony. I slept the entire day away, but at least I’m catching a glimpse of the sunset. The reds and oranges of the sun setting in the distance, behind downtown LA, are breathtaking.
“Savannah, open this door immediately!” The sound of my mother’s shrill voice is like a bucket of ice water, tearing me away from the beauty of the skyline. “Savannah Georgia Stratford. I know you’re there. Now open this door.”
Did she really just middle-name me?
I take a couple of deep, cleansing breaths, then pad down the hall and pull open the door to find my entire family hovering outside my door. My mother, father, Charlotte, and Denver.
“What the hell are you all doing here?”
“Watch your mouth, Savannah.” My mother scowls and pushes past me, uninvited.
“Sorry, Savy girl.” My father leans down and plants a kiss on my cheek. “We just came to check on you.”
“No,” my mother snaps. “We are here to clean up her mess. She’s an absolute disgrace.”
Ignoring my mother, I turn to Charlotte and Denver. My head swivels between the two, waiting for one of them to tell me what the hell is going on.
“To be clear, I did not want to be here. And I got us up here. The doorman remembered that I’m your brother. Sorry, sis.” Denver pats my shoulder and walks past me to join my father on the couch in the living room, as my mother stares at her phone, pacing.
I turn to my sister. “Char, please tell me what’s going on. Why are all of you here?”
“Didn’t you see the news?” Charlotte nibbles her bottom lip.
“What news? I’ve been asleep since I left the hospital after being on shift for over twenty-four hours straight.”
“Where’s your phone?” she asks.
“Lost in the melee. Gosh, it was awful, Charlotte. I just need to sleep.” For the first time since I left the supply closet, I regret not getting my phone out of the water bucket. If I had, I might have been able to avoid my family banging at my door.
She frowns with a harsh exhale. “I think you’d better sit down for this.”
I follow Charlotte into the living room. My mother’s phone rings, and she answers it as my dad winks at me and pats the seat beside him on the couch. Ignoring my mother’s whispered call, I take the spot beside Dad and wait for someone to explain.
“I’m too tired to deal with all the cloak and dagger, so please say what you all came to say and get it over with.” The fact my mother is here has me worried it’s about Gran, my maternal grandmother, whom I adore. The woman whose very last name I changed mine to. “Is it Gran?”
“No, Gran is fine.” Charlotte sits beside me and places her hand on mine. “A story has made it to the press, and the family has been pulled in. It’s…” She pauses and nervously licks her lips then continues. “It’s about Nico.”
Dread punches me in the gut, stealing my breath, and tears sting my eyes. I haven’t spoken to him since our text exchange, which was hours ago. Which can only mean… “Did something happen to him?”
“That piece of scum brings shame to our families’ good name, and you’re worried about him?” My mother sneers.
“Now, Sarah, calm down. I don’t think Savannah is aware of what’s been going on,” Dad says in a chiding yet calming voice, ever the mediator.
I turn to Charlotte. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
Charlotte closes her eyes but nods. “A video was released by multiple media outlets, showing Nico with another woman. It was very…private.”
My brain freezes like a browser open with too many tabs. Private?
“Stop sugarcoating it, Charlotte, and just rip off the Band-Aid. It was a sex tape, Sav. There is a video of Nico and a model named Alessia all over the internet. Metadata says the video was made two weeks ago in Seattle,” Denver states. His voice is cold and devoid of emotion.
Or is that just me?
Numbness washes over me.
Nico? Sex tape? Seattle?
What the actual fuck is going on? There is no way he would cheat on me, right? Two weeks ago, he was in Seattle. It was after I walked out on him, but sleep with someone else? Would he do that? My gut says no, but if there’s video?
My brain feels like it’s going to explode as I wrap my head around what I just heard.
“There’s more,” Charlotte says. “A picture of you and Nico dancing at some gala was also posted online. Everyone knows your name, who you are, and your connection to the family. They are calling you ‘the black-sheep doctor and the black-hearted baseball player’. The article claims you broke off your engagement with Bradley for Nico. It’s a mess, Savannah.
And since you haven’t been honest with any of us, we don’t know what is fact or fiction.
We need your help to clean this up with the press. ”
“Thank you so much for that, Savannah. I hope you’re happy. Besmirching the family name yet again.” Mother smiles cruelly.
I should be appalled by her callousness, but I’m not. Over the years, since I moved away from San Francisco, away from her, I stopped seeking her approval. I stopped caring whether I made her proud or that she treated me poorly. I like who I am. I love my job, Los Angeles, and my life.
Like the butterflies I love so much, I’ve left my chrysalis reborn and ready to spread my wings. I’m finally happy. A weight settles in my heart. I’ve been happy because I found Nico. My grumpy, rude baseball boy, who changed everything.
“Mother. How could you say that to Savannah?” Charlotte squeaks. “She’s hurting.”
“This is what she gets for not doing as she was told.”
“Now hold on right there, Sarah.” My father leaps to his feet and points at her, wagging his finger.
“I’ve heard you say enough about Savannah.
She is a wonderful doctor. It doesn’t matter that she’s not a surgeon.
You need to rethink how you’re speaking to her, or we are going to have a problem.
I love you, wife, but I will not let you treat our daughter this way anymore.
You’ve gone too far. I should have said something years ago.
You cannot treat her this way. It ends now, or we do,” Dad says, his words final.
“Thomas, how could you say that?” My mom rears back as if my father’s words slapped her in the face.
“Easily,” Dad says, resting a hand on my shoulder.
While he should have stood up to my mother on my behalf years ago, it’s not too late for me to appreciate it now.
“You will not mistreat our daughter any longer. She deserves our unconditional love, not your acerbic tongue diminishing her accomplishments.”
My brother steps beside my father, both blocking me from view on the couch. “Yeah, Mom, stop being a bitch to Sav. She’s awesome as fuck.”
“Denver!”
“I’m sorry, but it’s true. We are all tired of it. And if it doesn’t stop, I’ll change my name to Winters too,” Denver threatens.
My mother gasps, clutching her invisible pearls.
“Me too,” Charlotte says, standing up, arms crossed over her chest.
I’d laugh if I weren’t having an out-of-body experience listening to the conversation going on around me like I’m not even here.
It’s very surreal watching my father, brother, and sister stand up to my mom.
I’ve always wished someone would have my back and actually tell her how horrible she is. To her face, and not behind her back.
“You ungrateful children…”
“Enough!” I rise to my feet and face my mother. “It’s okay, guys. I got this.” I push my brother and sister to the side. “Mother, I know you don’t approve of my career, my life, the men I date… All of me, in general. And that’s okay. That’s a you problem.”
My mother tries to interrupt me, but I hold up my hand. I need to get this out before I shatter into a million pieces.
“Maybe deep down in your cold, sterile heart, you love me, but that does not give you the right to treat me the way you do. I will not be your punching bag. Not for another second. To be honest, I left San Francisco to escape you, and it was the best decision I ever made. I’m never going back, and I’m never going to be a surgeon.
You can accept me for who I am, and then we might build a better mother-daughter relationship.
Or not. It’s up to you. As for Bradley… He was a gaslighting, egotistical asshole who sought me out so he could use the Stratford name for his benefit.
You should be happy I dumped his fame-seeking ass.
I know I am. As for Nico... I didn’t start dating him until a month ago, and my relationship with him is none of your business.
Now you can either treat me with respect in my home or you can leave. ”
“Here, here,” Denver cheers as my mother stares at me in stunned silence.
“Savannah, why didn’t you tell us about how you felt, about Bradley, about your new life?” Dad lays his hand on my shoulder, his eyes glassy with emotion.
Guilt weighs heavily on me for not speaking up, but it’s time I changed that.
“I didn’t say anything because of this.” I wave my hands around in the air as my dad frowns. “I wanted to avoid all of this. I didn’t want to cause problems or feel less than anymore. Even when I separate myself, it’s not good enough for her.”
“I am so sorry for my complicity.” My dad wraps me in one of his warm hugs. Tears prickle my nose. “You are enough, my sweet Savy girl.”
“Thank you.” My dad’s words warm me to my bones. I know he means what he says, and I appreciate him coming to my defense. I don’t think he’s truly witnessed the awful things she says to me.
When we break apart, I turn to my sister. “Char, I know I didn’t tell you about me and Nico, and it feels like I lied. I’m so used to avoiding confrontation with everyone that I avoided it with you too. I hurt you, and for that I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. I’m sorry too.” Charlotte throws herself at me, hugging me tight. She whispers into my ear, “I just didn’t want him to hurt you like he hurt me, and he did anyway.”
The tears I’ve been holding back finally fall. Two more extra-large arms wrap around me and Charlotte.
“Don’t leave me out,” Denver grumbles.
When we break apart, the three of us are crying, and my father is holding a tearful Sarah Stratford. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother cry before.
As much as I want to talk to my mother and clear the air, I need a minute to myself. I dig my tablet out of the crack in the couch and clutch it to my chest.
“If you don’t mind, I need to catch up on the news. Maybe we can all talk later. But if you’ll please excuse me.”
“We’ll leave you be.” My father gives me one more hug, then ushers my mother out of my apartment.
I swipe my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie, and Nico’s leathery scent hits me like a ton of bricks, sending a wave of nausea through me.
“Are you sure?” Charlotte asks.
“Yeah. I’m sure. I’ll be back.” My legs are shaky and weak as I make my way back to my bedroom.
Charlotte refused to leave in case I need something.
Once I’m in bed, I log onto the biggest tabloid website.
Scrolling past the headlines, I click the link.
I watch the back of a woman rise and fall as she straddles a man.
From the camera’s angle, you can’t see the man’s face, but there is no mistaking the jet-black hair and the body covered in tattoos.
She runs her hands over his inked shoulders and cries out his name.
Bile rises to the back of my throat as the man throws his head back and comes.
With my tablet in hand, I rush to the bathroom and bend over the toilet. I drop the tablet onto the floor in time to avoid making a mess and heave into the toilet until my stomach is empty.
I must be a glutton, because I lie curled on the cool tile floor and push play again.
And again.
And again.
I watch every sickening detail until everything makes sense, and I pass out.