19. Max
Max
I wanted his tongue in my mouth every fucking day for the rest of my life.
I didn’t care if I was desperate. Didn’t care if I was reshaping every idea I’d ever had about myself, bending it to fit Draven. I was ready to handle anything if it meant I could feel this forever.
His tongue ring was sliding against my tongue, a delicious echo of how obscenely good it had felt along the ridges of my cock.
It made me feral.
As feral as he was. Because I’d brought it out in him.
I hadn’t seen it since the first night I met him. Not like this. The monster inside Draven was out again, in full force, like he was clawing out of a cage he’d put himself in.
But now?
The monster felt different.
I welcomed it.
I’d fucking begged for it.
I wanted him to let go, and he was letting go. Showing himself to me. All of the chaotic, hungry parts of him finally let free.
Finally claiming my mouth with his lips and teeth and answering every question I’d been asking with my whole goddamn body since the moment I met him.
Am I really attracted to men?
Certainly this one.
Do I want more than just sex?
I fucking want it all.
Will he ever accept that I want him?
Fucking. Finally.
Draven slid out of bed and grabbed me in his arms, hauling me out of bed. He slung me across my outstretched arms like he was carrying a goddamn princess, and even though I was well-muscled, he was able to carry me down to his primary bedroom and toss me onto the bed.
The light was better here, anyway.
I could see his face—the way he looked at me when he was fucking gone . No longer trying to be in control of his desires and instead, unleashing every single one of them on me.
His dark hair glinted in the moonlight. I watched as he took something out of the drawer beside us on the nightstand, then shoved down his black sweatpants, stripping nude.
He dropped the lube and condom on the surface of the table, turning to me with a wolfish stare.
His hand came down around my wrists, gathering them together. He was on top of me a moment later, taking my wrists in one hand and firmly pinning them up above my head on the bed, my arms outstretched and restrained.
He kept me held down like that for a moment as he claimed my lips with his. His tongue pushed out into my mouth like he owned it, and my whole body broke out in goosebumps.
He fucking does own it. And I love it.
He kept one hand on my wrists while the other shoved downward past the waistband of my shorts, feeling for my cock below. He wrapped a tight fist around my erection, giving it a firm tug as his mouth explored mine.
The twin sensation was maddening.
His tongue sliding on mine, hot and wet, as he tugged on my cock.
Hypnotic couldn’t even begin to describe it. I let out a moan into his mouth as he touched and teased me until precum dripped from the head of my cock, slicking his fingertips.
“Mine,” he said as he broke off from the kiss.
“I’ve been yours.”
He groaned. “I know,” he breathed, his face inches above mine, the intense look in his eyes piercing into mine.
“Want to know something?” I murmured up at him.
“I want to know everything.”
“I know you’ve been watching me,” I told him. “More than you let on.”
“Is that right?”
“A few times while I ran laps around my parents’ property,” I said. “I didn’t know if I was right, but I could feel it. Feel your eyes on me.”
“Were you pissed off?”
“I was turned on.”
He hummed deeply, squeezing my dick. “Good boy.”
“Told you not to call me that.”
“I knew you liked me watching over you,” he said, pausing to paint a slow stripe with his tongue down my collarbone and onto my nipple. He flicked his tongue ring across it. “You like my eyes on you.”
My cock throbbed in his hand. “I do.”
“Just a small-town boy with a simple life,” he continued, “who happens to be an exhibitionist.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone else watching me. Not anymore.”
“That’s your biggest problem. You deserve a happy little life with a nice woman in Tennessee.”
“Fuck that,” I growled, bucking my hips to fuck his fist. “I deserve this .”
His teeth came down around my bottom lip and he sucked on it as his thumb slid over the head of my cock.
“You’re impossible,” he said.
“Let me sit on your cock.”
“Ask nicely.”
“Please, sir,” I pleaded. “Let me sink down on your cock before you make me come with just your hand?”
“Better.”
“Fuck me. Now.”
He exhaled. “You don’t know what you’re in for, baby. Take off your pants.”
In a moment, his hand was gone from my cock and I missed it instantly. He stood up, reaching for the bottle of lube and flicking open the cap.
I pulled off my pants and got naked for him, waiting on the sheets.
Gazing down at his cock, stiff and thick and veined, certainly way too goddamn big to imagine fitting inside me.
I wanted it, but how the fuck was I going to take it?
Draven slicked his fingers and got in bed, lying down beside me.
“Get on top of me,” he commanded, “and sit on my finger.”
I swallowed, nodding and moving to drape one leg over him until I was straddling him. I felt his slicked fingers come up against my hole, not pressing inside yet, but teasing around the ring of muscle.
From where I was sitting I could gaze down at his face. His dark hair, spilling out over the pillow behind his head. His fingers, resting on my thigh.
I’d been attracted to women before in the past, but none of that had ever felt like this.
I would let this man do anything to me.
Against my better judgment.
I pushed downward, sitting on his finger as he slowly pushed it inside me. Already I felt impatient, wanting more but knowing I couldn’t currently take it.
Work me open so you can fill me up .
I pushed past the slight pain of one finger, and when he added a second one, it was more than double the intensity.
He kept his gaze firmly planted on me, his eyes daring me to stop, even for just a second.
I wasn’t going to stop.
I could take it.
I sat down further on his fingers, pushing myself to take more.
“Perfect,” he murmured, and the praise only made me want to do better.
He used his free hand to toy with my cock, pushing around my precum on the tip, teasing me, and occasionally giving it a firm squeeze. He made sure to never truly jerk me off, instead edging me along with quick touches and maddening little grips that made me desperate for more.
“I’m ready.”
“Don’t think you are,” he said.
“Maybe I don’t care.”
“You think you can take my cock?” he asked, slapping his thick shaft up against the cleft of my ass.
“Stop messing with me,” I groaned, and he did it again, right as his fingers hitched up against my prostate.
“Could keep you like this for hours,” he murmured.
“I’d come sooner than that.”
He moved his hand away from my cock and reached up to pinch one of my nipples instead. I shoved my ass down onto his fingers inside me, a sharp pain hitting me. I ignored it.
“Come on,” I continued. “You’ve fucked a million people, from what I’ve gathered. Just fuck me. Use me, like I’m one of the people at your parties.”
His expression darkened like a passing cloud.
“Don’t say that again.”
I paused for a moment, unable to tell if I’d struck a bad chord in him.
“Didn’t you have fun at your parties?”
“Once upon a time,” he said. “But this is nothing like that, Max. You’re nothing like that.”
“All the more reason to give me what I want, then.”
He pulled in a deep breath, his gaze dancing over my body.
And then, like I’d done a magic trick, I watched him reach over for the condom on the bedside table. He slid his fingers out of me and reached around, wrapping his dick and slicking it with more lube.
“You’re not ready,” he said. “But I’m going to go slow. Watch what you fucking say as you take my cock.”
The tone he was using pissed me off. “What? I’m not allowed to tell you to use me?”
He pushed the tip of his cock up against my hole, and only a little bit had gone in before I realized just how much I needed to be stretched.
“Careful,” Draven warned.
“Goddamn,” I whispered.
It seemed like I would be too tight forever. Draven watched me closely, giving me his cock little by little, then stopping.
“I’ve been using you since the moment I met you,” he said in a low tone now. “I use you for my own pleasure, but also for my own pain. I fucking torture myself, using you, Max.”
“Fucking bullshit,” I breathed, sinking down another millimeter onto his cock. My whole body was heated now, and every time I took more of him, my skin burned a little more.
His eyes were pinning me. “I use you to pretend I’m normal. To pretend I could ever deserve someone like you. I use you like you’re a fucking fantasy, Baby Blue, and I use you to lavish attention on my cock because I need your touch.”
“Is that what it is?”
He pushed deeper. “I’m not good for you.”
“You feel fucking perfect. ”
“I’m hurting you. As we speak. And look at you.”
I sank down a little further, and the pain was as real as the pleasure. “I want more,” I uttered. “Act like I can’t take it. Act like you’re the one in control. You know the truth is so much more than that.”
He growled.
Pushed deeper.
His eyes burning into mine.
“You don’t even know what the truth is,” he said through clenched teeth.
I felt his cock shoving me open, and no matter how much it hurt, it was nothing compared to how full it made me feel.
How right it was.
“Bet I fucking know it more than you do.”
“Too goddamn sweet for your own good.”
“And you think you’ll ruin me,” I said, “even though all you’ve fucking done is open my whole goddamn world.”
He pushed his cock inside me to the hilt, now, and I groaned, leaning backward as I felt my ass connect with the base of his cock.
It was still too much.
Still painful.
And I would never have changed it. Would never back down.
A long time ago, I’d thought I’d preferred a simple life. A life where nothing surprises me.
Where nothing hurts.
I was wrong.