Chapter 19 Sean
SEAN
Shit.
I was still reeling from the almost-kiss. My whole body was coiled and tense with the need to grab her, hold her.
Another half second and I would have been kissing her. Another ten and I would have slammed her down on the table and torn that scoop neck top right down the middle, baring her to me.
But now everything had gone wrong. Before I could even get up, Louise had slipped out of the door and off into the night.
The thought of her out there, alone, was what finally gave me enough of a jolt to shake off my stupor and jump up—so fast I knocked over the table.
The seedlings we’d been so carefully planting crashed to the floor, spilling fantails of soil.
Outside, I looked up and down the street but there was no sign of her.
Shit! She didn’t have her car with her—I’d driven us here, today.
What if someone had been watching the house and had grabbed her when they saw her alone?
What if she’d run into some gang who didn’t know she was with me? What if—
On my second check of the street, I finally saw her: walking on the dark side of the street where the streetlights were broken.
Her natural reaction was to hide herself away, to disappear, not realizing that just put her in more danger.
Out here in the darkness, her pale skin made her look even more vulnerable.
We needed to talk...but first, I needed to make sure she was safe.
I raced across the street and caught up with her. “Louise!”
Her shoulders tensed but she kept walking. That’s when I grabbed her arm.
She yelped, pulled up short and spun around, eyes wide with fear.
My heart leapt into my throat. I didn’t want to be that guy—not with any woman but especially not with her.
Both of us looked at my big, clumsy hand encircling her slender arm.
I opened it, releasing her, but now there was a dirty mark on that smooth, milky skin from my soil-covered fingers.
“You can’t walk home alone,” I muttered. “It’s not safe.”
She was breathing fast, looking up into my eyes with an expression I couldn’t read. You’re safe with me, I wanted to say. I swear, you’re safe with me. But I’d just proved she wasn’t, hadn’t I? I’d betrayed her trust and tried to kiss her, and she’d run, just like I’d always feared.
“I can take care of myself,” she said, her voice quavering a little.
“Not in this neighborhood!” It came out harsher than I’d meant it to. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.” I took a step back towards the house but she stayed stubbornly where she was. “For fuck’s sake!” I snapped, “Let me take care of you!”
We stood there staring into each other’s eyes.
I felt my gaze soften. She glanced away and then cautiously back at me, as if wondering whether she could trust me again.
Jesus, I’m an idiot. What have I done? I wanted her more than ever, but seeing her out here in the street had brought back all my fears.
What if she decided she needed to go it alone, after this?
I thought of what was coming: meeting a dealer, protecting the crop as it grew.
She’d last a week, without me. Just please let her come with me, I offered up to whoever was listening. I swear I’ll never try anything again.
Louise let out a long breath...and started walking back towards the house.
I fell in beside her, my legs shaky with relief.
I was only just realizing how much I’d come to care for her—it overpowered everything else, even the need to kiss her, to touch her, to have that luscious body twisting and writhing against mine.
I quickly locked up the house and we climbed into my car.
We didn’t talk at all on the way to our apartment block, or on the way up the stairs, or even when we got to her front door.
As she went inside, I opened my mouth to say something.
..but I couldn’t find any words. I was replaying the nearly-kiss over and over in my head.
I’d thought she’d wanted it but then she’d run.
Had I driven her away forever? Did she hate me?
The door closed behind her. Fuck. I wish I knew what she was thinking.