Louise
I had to put one hand on the top of the door and the other on my seatback in order to climb down.
My legs were shaking so hard I couldn’t stand up on my own.
I automatically faced the truck and put my palms on the window sill where someone had once served ice cream.
I drifted out of my lane. It kept going through my head.
I drifted out of my lane one lousy time and now I’m going to jail and Kayley’s going to die.
And Sean: his life was over, too. He might not have been happy before, smashing stuff and playing guitar on the rooftop, but at least he’d been free.
A single tear fell from my eyes and landed in the dust beneath me. I didn’t want to cry and tried to take a slow, calming breath. But...we were in Texas. Did that mean we’d be put in jail in Texas? There was no one who could post bail for us.
I wasn’t going to see Kayley again, before she died.
My shoulders shook and then I was off: choking sobs that burned and ached in my chest. With my head down, the tears couldn’t run down my cheeks properly: they hung from my eyelashes and then dropped to the dust, making dark little splodges.
“Aw, for cryin’ out loud…” said the cop behind me.
“There ain’t no need to cry about it.” There was a rasping sound, like sandpaper.
When I looked at his shadow on the ground, I saw that he’d taken off his hat and was scratching at the stubble on the back of his neck.
“What the hell did you think was gonna happen, driving through my state like this?”
I nodded, gulping. It had been a stupid plan.
He sighed. “Well...it should be a DUI. But...level with me: how stoned are you?”
I blinked through my tears. Stoned? He thought I was stoned?
I swallowed, still sniffing and blinking back tears, and thought fast. “N—Not at all, sir,” I croaked.
“It was last night, before we set out. We smoked a joint in the back of the truck: that’s why it smells in there.
I swear, I’m fine. I really was just tired. ”
“Turn around.”
I turned to face him.
He studied my face. “Really?”
“Yessir.”
He stared at my tear-red eyes for another few seconds and then said, “Walk that white line for me. One foot in front of the other.”
I looked down and put my sneakers on the line. Then I walked along it, willing my legs not to shake. When I dared to look round, he was staring at me. “Just tired, huh?” he said thoughtfully.
“Yes sir! I was stupid. And smoking the joint was stupid. I swear I’ll never do it again.”
He sighed. “You said you smoked it in the truck. If I go in there and search it, am I gonna find any drugs?”
Six months ago, I hadn’t been able to lie at all. Even now, it took every last shred of ability I possessed...but I kept my voice level. “No sir. We left all that stuff in LA. This is a fresh start for us.” I stared into his eyes, begging, and that part I didn’t have to fake.
“Fresh start, huh?”
I nodded. “We’re going to sell ice cream at fairs and...and rodeos and things. That’s what the truck’s for. We’re going to do it up, paint it and everything. Vintage. Traditional.”
The cop stepped closer. “You seem like a sweet girl,” he said.
“So this one time, I’m going to let this go.
But you promise me you’ll behave.” He nodded to the truck and lowered his voice.
“I’ve seen your boyfriend, all muscles and attitude.
He probably persuaded you to smoke that joint, didn’t he?
Guys like that ain’t nothin’ but trouble. ”
I nodded solemnly. “I’ll be careful.”
“And stay away from the drugs!”
“That’s absolutely my intention, sir.”
He gave one last long-suffering sigh. “You drive careful.” And then he was ambling back to his car.
I went around to the passenger side and climbed in, motioning Sean to move over. “You drive,” I said weakly. “I can’t—I can’t even….”
I collapsed into the passenger seat as the cop pulled away and drove off into the distance. I let my head tip back against the headrest and just melted into the seat, nothing but a floppy bag of twitching nerves.
“What the fuck happened?” asked Sean as started the truck.
“Karma,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “That was every speed limit I’ve ever stuck to, every empty intersection I’ve ever waited at. It finally paid off.”