Twelve
I ’ m envisioning punching Lenny in the face, but I don’t feel any better.
It’s incredible how easily my emotions can switch when thinking about him.
Love him.
Hate him.
Love him.
How dare he think he can tell me what to do? Just because he made every part of me feel alive doesn’t give him the right to dictate what I should or shouldn’t do.
But a small, annoying voice screams at me that he’s right.
Gianna’s behavior has been different lately. It feels as though she’s preparing us for something, and when she knocks on my door, it seems I’m about to find out what.
“Are you all right?” she asks, catching me off guard.
I don’t remember her ever asking if I’m okay, so why the change of heart?
“Fine,” I reply blankly.
She enters and makes clear she has something she wishes to say.
“Valentina, you’re at the age now when I can tell you the truth. It’s your birthday tomorrow, so I wish to give you a birthday present.”
She’s right. It touches me she remembered.
“Adopting you wasn’t a coincidence,” she confesses softly. “I knew your mother.”
And just like that, time stands still.
I can’t speak, so Gianna continues.
“I knew her because she was once a friend of mine. However, I didn’t know your father. Margarette was the first friend I made when I moved here from Sicily. She was so kind to me. She took a chance on me when no one else did.”
This trip down memory lane may hold fond memories for Gianna, but this woman she speaks of is nothing but a stranger to me.
“She was volunteering at the church and welcomed me into the parish. I felt like I finally found a place I fit in. But when she met your father, she changed. We tried to make her see reason, but your mother was stubborn, and I see that in you.
“It’s why I’ve pushed you all these years, because I know her blood runs in your veins.”
This is…a lot.
From being given no information to now this, I can barely keep up.
“Do you know where she is now?”
Gianna sighs before nodding slowly.
A flood of emotion overwhelms me. She knew this entire time, but she never told me. She never alluded to the fact she knew who I was.
I can’t help but feel a stab of betrayal.
“Why did you adopt me?”
Gianna mulls over my question.
“Please,” I beg, not caring how weak I sound. I need to know the truth.
“Because she asked me to,” she finally confesses, her eyes turning soft. “I didn’t know you existed until she wrote me a letter, asking I do this for her.”
“And why couldn’t she?” I question, angered. “She left me on those steps of that orphanage like I was nothing but garbage, and when she could finally make some sort of amends for that, she asks you to do what she should have done!”
I jump up from the bed, pacing the room with my heart in my throat. “Tell me where she is.”
When there is silence, I stop in front of Gianna, shaking my head incredulously.
“She doesn’t want me to know where she is, does she?”
Gianna frowns, but her silence speaks volumes.
“I cannot believe this. Even now, she still wants nothing to do with me! What did I do?” I cry, tears of anger filling my eyes.
“She can’t see you, piccola .”
“Why the fuck not?” I would never speak to Gianna this way, but all sense of reason is long gone.
“It’s best for you to know this and nothing else.”
“That’s not fair,” I spit, shaking my head. “You give me snippets of information and expect that to be enough.”
“I’m doing this to protect you,” she replies sympathetically. “Your mother doesn’t want to see you. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. We are doing this to protect you.”
“Protect me?” I exclaim. “From what?”
So help me God, if Gianna doesn’t explain, I’ll tear this house to the ground.
“From the man who is hunting her. His name is Aldo Cattaneo.”
And just like that, my purpose in this entire game is finally revealed.
“H-he came to the orphanage. He was going to adopt me, but you did first. You knew he came?”
Gianna nods. “Your mother is still in contact with the sisters at the orphanage. They told her about Aldo. She didn’t come herself because she is in hiding. From him.”
I don’t know what to say or think because this doesn’t make sense.
“What did she do to him?”
“She stole from him.”
“What did she steal?”
“His heart,” she finally reveals. “A lover scorned is a dangerous thing, and someone like Aldo—the most powerful drug dealer in all of the East Coast—that makes him lethal. A man like Aldo has everything he wants, and if he doesn’t, he buys it, but he could never buy your mother.
“She left you on those steps to protect you as she had you in secret. If anyone were to find out you existed, they would exploit you. Aldo would use you to smoke out your mother because he’s been looking for her for years.”
“None of this makes any sense,” I confess, stunned beyond words. “Why have you trained me the way you have all these years? And why tell me this now?”
Gianna purses her lips as if weighing up whether she should share more secrets. “Because it’s simple—you kill Aldo, you get your mother back. I see I cannot hide the truth from you any longer. You will eventually seek her out. So I would rather tell you than you hurt yourself trying.”
I slump onto the end of the bed, fearful my legs won’t hold me up. “This entire time, you were training me for this?”
Gianna nods, sitting beside me. I don’t think she’s ever been this close to me before, and it makes sense. She never adopted me because she wanted a child. She did so as a favor to a friend. If this doesn’t prove Gianna’s loyalty, then I don’t know what does.
This explains why she never treated me as a daughter, and that’s because I wasn’t.
I was someone else’s.
“But getting to Aldo won’t be easy. He’s never alone. He welcomes the strays and feeds them; he cares for them and earns their trust, but in the end, it’s all for his own gain.”
Although my memory of him is hazy, I don’t remember getting that feeling from him. I thought he was kind. But I guess this correlates with what Gianna is saying.
Aldo is a predator, and a smart one at that.
But there isn’t a question about it; Aldo must die, and he must die by my hand.
“Tell me what I have to do.”
Gianna smiles and gently brushes the hair from my cheek. A foreign gesture of love, one which she has never done before.
“What have I taught you about love?”
“Love makes you weak. Love will be the death of you,” I reply, thinking back to the night all those years ago when Gianna taught Lenny and me a very valuable lesson.
I didn’t see it then. But now, I do.
“ Brava , piccola ,” she says with affection.
I suddenly crave it more than I thought I knew. I want nothing more than to please her, so I’ll do whatever she asks.
“Aldo has a daughter from a previous relationship. Bring her to me, and that’ll bring Aldo to you. She is his one and only collateral, which is why I’ve taught you not to attach.”
I know she’s speaking about Lenny. I suddenly feel so foolish for ever doubting her.
“What did Aldo do to you?” I ask because we’re all game players in this. I just don’t understand Gianna’s role.
“I want what is his,” she declares without pause.
“And what is that?”
“His empire. I’m his rival, piccola . Deep down, you knew this all along. This is why I keep to myself and why I have taught you to do the same. We cannot trust anyone, for I fear the time has come when a war must be had. I knew we would be here one day, which is why I’ve been preparing you. But I fear I have failed with Lenny. He has turned rogue, hasn’t he?”
I bite the inside of my cheek because she’s right. But no matter what Lenny has done, I can’t help but be loyal to him.
I knew Gianna wasn’t working a nine-to-five job, but finally knowing what she does, I don’t feel disgusted; I feel honored she saw potential in me when no one else did.
“My life isn’t normal, but this is my normal. I do not know any other way. This is why I left Sicily. This is why I must protect my empire; the people who want what is mine will stop at nothing until they steal it from under me.
“Aldo’s family and mine have been enemies for a very long time. This drug war started in Italy, and I fear it may end there.”
“What does that mean?”
“I need someone I can trust to look after business there. I cannot go back. I’m hunted. Which is why I stay here.”
I need some time to process this. I never would have guessed this, and now, I understand why Gianna waited for the right time to tell me.
I wasn’t ready before.
But now, I am.
The night when I killed that man was a test she laid down for me to see if I was ready. And I proved to her that I am.
“What is it you want?”
She places her hand on my cheek. I lean into it, never realizing how much I need her touch.
“Bring me Aldo’s daughter, then I will do the rest. Once Aldo is taken care of, your mother is free.”
“And what of your business in Italy?”
She smiles. “I raised you the way I did because I always intended to offer you a seat in my kingdom.”
“You wish for me to go to Italy, then?”
She nods. “But only if that is what you want.”
A new life paved with power and control? The temptation is too great to turn down.
But there is one thing holding me back—Lenny.
“Perhaps you and your mother could start a new life?” Gianna says gently, as if reading my hesitation.
A happy reunion is not in the cards just yet because she has eighteen years of explaining to do. But at least I know why she left me even though I don’t agree with her choices. But as I see it, Aldo is the reason my life is so fucked up.
I once thought him to be my savior, but now I see, he is a dead man walking.
“And Father Merry?” I question because there’s no way he’s walking away scot-free.
Gianna places a kiss to my forehead—the first kiss she’s ever given me. “You take them all, piccola. It’s what you were born to do. Happy birthday.”