Six
MIA
Set the tables. Count the chairs. Check the flowers. Check the guestlist. Check the guest list confirmations. Check the sound team. Check the display. Check the bartender. Check the catering. Check the wait staff. Check everything.
I’ve had this list running through my head since I woke up at five this morning.
There are three hours until the donation dinner and a lot is riding on this dinner being perfect.
I knew months ago when I asked AJ to build this foundation with me from scratch that it had the potential to be big.
West Haven isn’t a normal training gym. It’s like this hybrid between a center for youth to come and take classes, high intensity training, and their home all rolled into one.
Everything has a time and place. And every single soul that comes in the doors finds a home if they need one.
I did. And it’s why I knew that I wanted to give that to the youth who are desperate and hungry for belonging.
I’ve seen what money can create and I’ve seen what money can break.
I decided a long time ago I want to be on the creating end of it.
I look around at everything that is set up, taking in the full picture before I do my last run through of the checklist. Tonight is going to be beautiful.
I know AJ doesn’t want to give the speech, but she is the perfect person to do it.
Nobody understands a broken heart that beats with undeniable strength like she does.
As soon as the donors hear her, they’ll want to be a part of this too.
I reach out to straighten the flowers in one of the centerpieces. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be corrected, but my hands need to touch something.
“It’s all perfect.” Melinda’s calm, sweet, and motherly voice comes from across the table.
“It’s been perfect the first two times you checked them last night and this morning, my sweet girl.
” I tilt my chin up to meet her eyes. Her smile widens and causes her eyes to somehow get brighter.
She’s already in her dress for the night even though we still have hours until we need to be here.
She has on a simple white gown, flowing sleeves, and hugging her still trim waist in such a way that you would forget she is in her forties. “You look beautiful, Melinda.”
“You still need to get ready.” She tips her head to where I’m still in sweats and a tank top. I don’t even think I’ve brushed my hair today.
“I just wanted to check everything again. It has to be perfect.” My eyes roam over the room again, searching for any detail out of place. I pick up the silverware and refold the napkin before laying them back down in the exact space they were already in.
Melinda places her hand over mine, applying gentle pressure to stop me.
“Go get ready. Tonight will go exactly the way you want it to. I will personally double check everything, again.” She always makes me feel more assured.
And she is always willing to meet me at the end where my chaotic thoughts unravel. Rory is lucky to have her as his mom.
“Don’t let anyone touch the display. Chloe and Mrs. West are the heart of this foundation.” I motion to the wall where I had Chloe’s portrait framed and hung. Surrounded by the blue Post-it notes that Eddie treasures from his late wife.
“Aileen would be in awe of everything that her boys have created and the sanctuary Eddie cultivated.” I turn to see Melinda looking at the portrait of Chloe.
“AJ says you are the same spirit as Chloe.” I’ve stared at this picture longer than I would ever admit.
The way AJ talks about Chloe is always full of admiration and the purest form of love.
To be compared to her is sometimes overwhelming but also settling at the same time.
Assurance that I’m in the right time and right place that I need to be.
That every decision I’ve made to bring me here wasn’t wasted.
“Aileen, that’s their mom’s name?” It’s such a pretty name. One that I’ve never heard before.
Melinda hums, “It means brilliant light. And she was exactly that. She’s the goodness in every one of those boys.” Melinda’s smile is full of sadness. I forget that she knew them all as children.
“Were you two friends?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking more questions.
There is this itching under my skin to feed the hunger to know more about her.
As if it would help me understand the sadness that seemed to always accompany Oliver’s silence.
Not everyone seems to be able to notice it like I do.
But it’s always there, a lingering yearning.
I’m not sure what he is always searching for but one longing soul recognizes another.
“She worked as a waitress at the diner down the street and she loved it. She made every customer feel like their life was better before they left. It was my favorite place to get dessert. And the place I went to try and escape the war in my heart.” She reaches out to run her fingers over one of the Post-it notes Aileen had written.
My heart hurt to hear her talk about her past. She’s only given me bits and pieces when we put in longer hours together at the center.
I know that she’s survived a lot. And that she came out of all that pain with the sole purpose of making sure as many people and children feel safe and loved in every way she can make happen.
She sighs softly before continuing, “We became quick friends. She always remembered my order and took time to talk to me any time I came into that diner. And I remember watching her stomach grow with those three boys and still work with everything she had. Eddie would come in and sit just to make sure she actually took her breaks. He and Remy would take turns taking care of her in that way. And sometimes she would sit with me and ask me questions about being a mom. I made sure to go to the diner multiple times a week just to see her. She was captivating to be around and always gave me hope.”
She touched another note that mentions the triplets, “She was so scared of failing them. I didn’t even know what advice to give her.
I was barely a mom myself. But she was the kindest soul I ever met.
And I know that she would be proud. Of them all.
” Her voice broke in the last part, but I watch as she steadies her own breathing and swallows thickly.
I reach out to squeeze her hand. “You’re the best mom I’ve ever met, Melinda.”
She turns to face me with the warmest smile and glassy eyes.
“ Go get ready. I can’t wait to see you in that dress.
” She leans in and kisses my cheek before squeezing my hand and letting it go.
She walks away in the direction of the caterers that just entered the building.
I have no doubt that she will make sure everything is perfect.
I knew that this dress would make me feel like I could do anything the minute I put it on.
The strings of pearls hang off my shoulders in just the right way to hold the dress up by a breath of weight.
And the back is open and draping just above the area of my lower back. The satin material reaches the floor.
Sometimes I miss wearing pretty things. I place my grandmother’s diamond earrings in then rub the cherry and citrus perfume she has made for me every year on my neck and wrist. I can hear her now… you look like sin and beauty, as all women should.
I miss her. I need to go and visit soon. Or maybe I can beg her to come and see me instead.
The last thing I do before I make my way to the donation dinner is put on my signature lip stick before pocketing it into my purse.
I left so much when I left my parents house.
But I didn’t leave my armor. Confidence and power are found in words.
And words are always more lethal when said with the color of blood.
The dinner is full of guests as I check in.
I recognize some faces but fail at finding my favorites.
I’m sure AJ is with Rory and Melinda is with Eddie.
The triplets are probably off in a corner somewhere.
I’ve come to learn they never tend to like new people.
I do spend a few extra minutes looking for Oliver, but come up short.
“Mia Cassidy. You look…” I recognize that voice. My body seizes at the sound because it is usually accompanied by my ex. I steel my bones and plaster a smile on my face, just like I grew up doing. I’m not new at playing this game. I should have known that I would see them here.
When I pivot on my heel to face the group of people I grew up with but haven’t seen in close to a year, I’m filled with dread. I make quick work of scanning for the face that I hope to not find. Thankfully, I don’t find Adam’s face.
“He’s not here, Mia.” The man on the end steps forward with a low voice.
Henry was always a friend and has never once been anything but kind towards me.
Our moms are a part of every club and board together.
He steps forward and hugs me and I can feel the unease leave my body.
I can handle them all but Adam. Thankfully he isn’t here.
I pull back from Henry just in time for Sean to wrap an arm around my waist. I push him away from me and step out of his hold.
He doesn’t drop his arms though. “Too good for a hug now?” His stupid ass grin makes me ball my fist. That wouldn’t have been my first reaction a year ago. AJ would be proud.
“I wouldn’t want the smell of desperation for daddy’s approval to rub off on me.
” My nose scrunches as I try to keep my words from coming out too much like a snarl.
I need the donors in this room and I won’t ruin it just because some dick wants to try and act like he knows me.
They’ve never truly known me. They all play the exact roles we have been groomed to play. I just don’t feel like playing anymore.