Thirty-One
OLIVER
Iknow I’m bleeding because Eli is wiping my face repeatedly and then holding pressure, but I can’t feel the pain.
The guy I’m facing is massive and when he hits, I can feel every ounce of weight behind it.
Max is holding water to my mouth and I can feel him pinch my cheeks to create an opening for him to pour water down my throat.
The crowd is buzzing in tune with the lights and music.
All of it is just a blur. And she isn’t here.
“You’re hurt, Ol.” Eli barks.
Max’s voice comes from above me. “He’s already bruising pretty badly.”
Eli snaps his fingers in front of me, “fucking focus.”
I’ve been trying to focus since Mia’s birthday gala. So much happened that night that I’m still processing. Even days later. I’m here tonight to try and clear my head but with each hit I take, the feeling of drowning just keeps getting heavier.
“You have to get up now. Try to actually keep your hands up. Stay tight. Cut your corners.” Eli gives me short and simple commands. I hear them, but I don’t get a chance to acknowledge them before I’m being shoved back in the center to start fighting again.
I pull my hands up to guard my face and manage to pivot out of the way with enough time for his fist to cut my jaw but not make full impact.
I can hear Eli scream something but I can’t make out what it is exactly.
The guy moves in fast again and I’m not as quick this time.
He lands a crushing kick to my side, and when I drop my arm he makes solid contact with his fist.
I don’t have time to steady myself before he has me backed against the wall. I try to defend the best that I can but he makes too much contact and my arms feel too heavy. I see a flash of blonde from above the pool over his shoulder and that is the last thing I see before I drop to the ground.
The lights are blurry and I can feel my brothers holding me up.
“Were you even trying?” Max asks but I can feel his frustration. I don’t blame him. I’d be frustrated with me too.
They carry me down the hallway back to the empty room. My eye is a little swollen but I can make out Eli reaching in and turning the water on before they toss me under the spray with my shorts, shoes, and hand wraps still on.
“Just let him sit in there for a bit.” I think that’s Eli talking but I let the water drown everything else out as I brace a hand on the back of the shower and just lean against the wall. The cold tile on my forehead helps the sensation of my body feeling like it is on fire.
I don’t know how long I'm here for. I just know that all I can picture is her. The disappointment on her face when she saw me get upset over her not telling us about her parents. The joy when Melinda showed up. The worry when Adam inserted himself. The pure bliss on her face when we were alone and on that couch. The discomfort from having to talk to all the important people in the room. Never once did she look like the perfect ray of light that she is. She was overrun with every different emotion. I couldn’t help ground her like she does me.
We haven’t even had a chance to talk about everything because she’s had to cover more shifts at the coffee shop and help her grandmother with closing out the art auction details this whole week.
Melinda has had her over more because she is freaking out over the meeting that is coming up next week.
The lack of having her around has given me abundant time to think about how much I crave just being near her.
And then I think about the fact that she is supposed to inherit an entire empire and I am quickly reminded that I have nothing to offer that equates to that.
I coach at the gym and fight in a pit stained with sweat, blood, and tears on the weekend. That’s the one place I have always felt a purpose and the past few fights have left me feeling abandoned.
“Alright, Ol. You have to get changed.” Eli coaxes me out of the shower.
“I think you should pull from the next fight. You’re hurt.” Max advises as I start to strip from my shorts.
“I can’t pull. I already told him I would fight.” I state simply.
“You can. Whatever it is you’re chasing out there..” Eli hands me fresh clothes, “you’re not going to find it.”
“I’m not chasing anything.” I sit down and start to remove the soaking wet wraps that are already irritating my skin.
“She would have come if you just asked her.” Maxwell hands me clean wraps as I toss the wet ones on the bench.
“She’s busy.” I haven’t told them about her family.
Or the fact that Dad has known who she is since they hired her at the gym.
A job that she doesn’t even need. A job she is perfect at.
The gym isn’t just an open space for delinquents anymore.
It’s a self running business with new members coming in every day and actually staying because she’s made our processes that much better.
We have classes for every person that walks through the doors.
We have kids whose lives are being changed because of the money she so adamantly raised to support them.
She’s been trained to raise empires from ashes her whole life.
That’s what she is designed to do and she has the heart to do it in a way that changes the world.
But she can’t do that without the resources she has with her family.
Which means that as much fun as she has had here and as much as she has built here, she can’t do what her heart yearns for with them. The world runs on money.
“I don’t know what happened at that party, but you’ve been moping around for days.” Eli points out. I try to stand but my breath is caught in an excruciating way behind my ribs. My foot falters and I fall back to the bench.
“Call the fight.” Maxwell practically begs.
“No.” I can’t explain to them why I feel the need to go right back out there.
They’ve never felt lost a day in their life.
Devyn has always been Eli’s directional foundation.
And Maxwell isn’t afraid of anything. He has never known what it’s like to disappoint someone because his heart is too full of love.
“Okay, fine.” Eli helps me back up. “You fight, we fight.” Eli nods at me and then nods at Maxwell.
“You fight, we fight.” Max agrees.
Oliver
Are you home?
Mia
Just got back!
Oliver
Can I come over?
Mia
Only if you bring part of your cereal stash.
Only this girl can make the pain of laughing through cracked ribs and a paralyzing migraine worth it.
I stop by the store on my way and grab several boxes of cereal that I know she usually goes for and her favorite brand of milk.
She went on a huge rant one day about how it’s local and they give back to the schools to help fund programs to give kids more access to free therapy by working with farm animals.
I can’t remember everything she said, but I can remember the proud smile she wore when she said it.
That’s why I’m going over to her apartment at one in the morning, just to see her smile.
I knock on her door even though she said it’s unlocked.
I’ve never actually been to her apartment before.
Not inside at least. She opens the door in another one of my West Haven t-shirts and she looks tired.
A small gasp comes out of her mouth when she takes in how bad of shape I’m in.
Eli did his best fixing me up, but my eye is still swollen and I have cuts covering my face.
Thankfully she can’t see all the bruises covering the rest of my body.
I hold up the bag of food for her but she ignores it. She steps aside and lets me step in. “Midnight cereal seems like a pretty good decision right now. Good call.” I try to break away at the sadness in her eyes.
“How hurt are you?” She doesn’t ask if I lost or won. She checks the slight limp from the tender beaten muscle in my thigh. Her eyes dart to the floor before she goes to lock the door. She leads me to her kitchen and grabs two bowls and spoons.
“I’m okay. Bruises heal.” I reassure her as I pour her a bowl of cereal.
“How did the auction end up? Raise lots of money?” I pour the milk over the dry cereal before handing the bowl over to her.
She sits on top of her counter. That’s something I realize she likes to do and I like that it puts her more eye level with me.
I don’t have to work so hard to figure out what color they are this way.
“Do you not want me at your fights anymore?” Her voice is small and unsure.
I stop right before the cereal starts to pour and I turn to face her fully. “I always want you there.”
“I know that being with me at the gala was… a lot.” She puts her bowl down too as she seems to search for more words. “We haven’t talked about it all yet. Do you want to?” She offers cautiously. I don’t think she wants to openly let me in on something that she feels so unsteady about herself.
“Why didn’t you trust me with it?” That’s the only part that has been tearing at my heart for days.
She stayed by my side the majority of the night.
She never showed even a hint of being ashamed of me.
Not that that was something that I was worried about but I’ve gone over the whole night for any signs of the reason behind her not telling us other than the fact that we didn’t ask.
Mia is so free with so much of herself with all of us.
But watching her walk around that room, she looked caged.
“It’s not that.” I step closer to her and she pulls me in even more with her legs.
She takes a steady breath before looking up at me.
“I hate that I come from all of that. But I need it. I need it to make a difference. And it’s hard to do that when everyone looks at you like you don’t know what it means to have to fight for something.
” She rushes all the words out like she has been practicing them or maybe just holding her breath until she could finally release them.
She wraps her arms around my shoulders, embracing me in a hug that only Mia could make feel healing. “I really am sorry. But I’ll answer any questions you have.” I breathe in her cherry body wash and even though I have so many questions, I don’t have the energy to ask any of them at this moment.
“Can we actually maybe just go lay on the couch for a little bit? It’s hard to stay standing right now.
” I can feel her nod her head against my shoulder so I pick her up, even though it takes every ounce of my strength to not recoil in pain, and carry her with me as I try to find her couch.
I lay her down first. My goal was to just let her curl up next to me but my body kind of just gives out and my head ends up on her chest, her body cradling mine. It’s oddly comforting.
“Why are you letting yourself get hurt so much?” She whispers as her hand runs through my hair.
“I don’t know how to explain it.” Which isn’t a total lie.
But I don’t have the answers she wants right now.
Because it’s changed. I used to fight because it was my career path.
Then I got injured and I had to spend so much time rehabilitating my leg.
I trained harder than ever before and there was no shot of getting my opportunity to go pro back.
I fought for years to get that opportunity.
Even though I can still fight and be impressively good, it doesn’t mean I have a direct path like Rory did.
And I don’t have the mentality to make it my everything any more.
Tonight at The Poolhouse I felt empty and numb.
For the first time ever, fighting didn’t give me the energy surge through my body that I’m easily addicted to.
It didn’t give me purpose. And I need that.
I need to be able to show her that I have purpose.