Chapter Ten
“Dinner first, or do you want to go through the questions you have for me?” Armi twisted his hands. The Scotch and few snacks he’d eaten churned in his stomach. “I have no idea what to say.” He laughed but was too tense to fake it. “I hate talking to strangers or people I think are out to make me look silly.” He met Hayden’s sympathetic eyes. “It doesn’t take much, as I’m sure you realize.”
The horrible vision of grad school reared its ugly head and cleared the fog from his brain. While studying for his master’s, he’d taken a few courses in tax law, and part of the curriculum was briefing the cases in class. When the professor would call on him, he’d agonize over reciting the facts of the case, then wait to see what questions would be fired at him. Anytime he was called on, Armi didn’t miss the sly smiles and behind-the-hands laughter from other students, knowing his quiet, halting words made him an easy target.
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Hayden held up a hand and ticked off his fingers. “In my time so far, you’ve held your own in the budget meetings, got your ideas into motion for scouting, and tonight the team signed a huge name with maybe more to come. So where’s the problem?”
“Old perceptions die hard.” He shrugged. “Anyway, maybe we should eat first. I should soak up some of that liquor.”
Hayden frowned. “How much did you have to drink?”
Shame flowed through him. “Two and was on the third by the time you arrived. I-I swear I don’t normally do this. Hell, I don’t even like Scotch, but everyone else was drinking it, and I didn’t want to be left out.” His gut cramped. “ Ugh , I don’t feel well.”
Hayden took his arm and led him to the sofa. “Sit. I’ll bring you some water and Tylenol. Be right back.”
He watched Hayden move around in his house and liked it. He liked everything about Hayden. He closed his eyes.
“Mr. Winters? Mr. Winters?” A cool hand touched his cheek, and he leaned into it. “I have your water and pills.”
He opened his eyes. Hayden held a glass and two tablets and sat next to him. Close but not close enough. “Hayden…can you please do me a favor?” he whispered and watched as Hayden’s expression turned wary, but he nodded.
“If I can.”
“Please stop calling me Mr. Winters. I really hate it.”
The tension receded, and Hayden grinned. “I can do that, sure.”
“I liked it that night…you know…when you called me Armi.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“I do.” He took the glass of water and Tylenol and downed them. “Okay. What do you want for dinner?”
“Something light in your stomach would be best. How about some pasta and grilled fish?”
“Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you think is best.”
Hayden frowned. “You need to start thinking about what you want. What you need.”
Christ.
Did Hayden even think about what he was saying? He needed more of what happened between them the night they first met. More kisses. More touching. Ending with Hayden inside him. His heart pounded. Hayden remained close, his full lips parted. So tempting. Armi could taste Hayden’s breath on his tongue.
“I-I’d better order dinner.” Hayden scrambled away, and Armi cursed his stupidity.
Idiot. He already said he doesn’t want you. Stop trying to make the impossible happen.
“Do you mind if I go change? I hate sitting around in a suit.”
“Armi, you don’t need to ask my permission.” Fingers moving quickly over the phone screen, Hayden kept his attention down. “Okay, I’m going to order you pasta primavera and grilled salmon.”
“What about you?”
“I’m not that hungry.”
Armi glared. “Hayden, order yourself something, or I’m not eating.”
“Whoa, okay.” Hayden’s lips twitched. “Now that’s what I’d like to see more of at work.”
“What, me forcing you to eat?” He undid his tie and popped open his shirt buttons.
“No,” Hayden responded, completely serious. “You being assertive.” He sighed and ran a hand through his thick blond hair. “You can tell me to mind my own business and I’ll shut up, but you tend to apologize to everyone or let other people run the show for you. It’s your team, Armi. You’re the boss.”
“I-I know. And I’m trying. Russell’s been really helpful…what?” He paused at the flicker of annoyance on Hayden’s face. “Don’t you like Russell?”
“I have no reason not to like him. He’s been very nice to me.”
Like the professional he was, Hayden held off criticizing anyone, but Armi sensed he held back his true opinions.
“He’s a nice person—at least he’s always been nice to me.”
Hayden didn’t respond. “If you show me where your office is, I can print out copies of the questions.”
“Oh, shit. The printer’s broken, and I never bothered to fix it. I just use the one in the office.”
“It’s fine. No worries.”
Hayden’s smile reassured him, and he ran upstairs to put on a T-shirt and sweats.
The doorbell rang, and as he descended the stairs, he watched Hayden take the bags, and he again pretended they were a couple, eating their dinner after a day at the office.
“That was quick,” he said, and Hayden lifted the bags.
“Let me put these down. Where do you usually eat? Kitchen or dining room?”
He laughed. “I’ve never used the dining room. I usually grab something from the fridge and sit in the kitchen, or bring home takeout and eat in the living room in front of the television.”
“Life of a single guy. Let’s go to the kitchen, then.”
“Sure.”
Hayden followed him and set their meals on the big island. While he hadn’t thought he was hungry, Armi surprised himself by eating every bit of the pasta and fish. Hayden, he noticed, had ordered only a salad with grilled chicken and barely touched it, concentrating on his iPad.
“You don’t like it?” Armi asked when he’d finished.
“Huh? No, it’s fine. I’m just trying to see if I missed anything.” Hayden’s lips twitched. “You got some sauce on your shirt.” He pointed with his fork.
Of course he did. “I swear I can’t eat a meal without wearing some of it.” Anxiety hit him like a punch in the gut. “Shit. What if that happens tomorrow at my lunch? I’ll look like a fool. My father was always impeccable.” His stomach cramped. “I can’t do this. You’ll have to cancel.” He got to his feet, and breathing heavily, ran from the kitchen to the one place he found peace. The backyard.
He walked the perimeter, touching his roses, bending to smell them. Footsteps came from behind.
“Armi, you can’t think like that.”
He faced Hayden. “Why not? You’ve seen it. I’m a mess, hanging on by a thread. I don’t know why I thought I could do this. I’ve never spoken to a reporter in my life.” A thought seized him. “Please come with me tomorrow.”
Hayden’s brows flew up. “Me? I don’t belong there. I’m just your PA.”
“Exactly. You’ll be able to help me when I get stuck. Which I will.”
Hayden frowned. “The first thing you have to get rid of is the defeatist mindset. Be positive.”
“Okay.” He wiped at the spot but only succeeded in smearing it more. “I’m positive I’m going to screw it up somehow.”
“Armi,” Hayden warned. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Come on. Let’s go over the questions. I went through the past five years of Martin Price interviews, and he pretty much has a standard script he follows.”
“Really?”
Hayden grinned. “Really. Would I steer you wrong?”
He gripped Hayden’s arm. “No. I know you won’t. It’s crazy, but I feel so much better with you in the office.”
Hayden stood rigid under his touch. “I’m glad,” he replied softly and withdrew.
If ever there was a signal that what happened between them would never be repeated, that was it. Hayden had made his decision, and Armi needed to give up the wild fantasy of the two of them together. It would remain just that—a fantasy he’d only explore in his very dirty dreams.
With dinner finished, they returned to the living room. Hayden pointed to the laptop on the table. “I sent you the questions, so you can use your computer or your phone, whichever’s more comfortable.”
Acutely aware that Hayden had taken the single chair to sit in rather than the space next to him on the couch, Armi found the document and read through it. “You’re right. These are pretty standard questions. Do you think I should tell him about the team looking deeper into Division III or the lesser-known schools for quality players? And what about my long-term goals? What should I say?” He nibbled on his lip.
“ Hmm . Good question.” Armi appreciated Hayden not tossing out platitudes but taking the time to think about the answers. “Maybe say…the Kings are looking into new ways to strengthen the team with quality players, and we’re exploring all avenues open to us.”
“Ohh, that’s good.” He took that down word for word and repeated it several times.
“And as for long-term goals, getting into the playoffs and a Super Bowl win is always the right answer, I think.”
“Right again. See?” Frustrated, he tossed the phone aside. “It comes so easily to you. I get hung up on feeling like I’m going to look stupid.” He stood and began to pace. “It’s like college and business school all over again. I hate speaking in public, and every time I’d get called on to answer a question, I’d hear the snickering because I wasn’t confident. It’s like the jungle where only the strong survive. My oral presentations were a disaster. I never got above a C.”
“Whoa, Armi.” Hayden joined him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re doing great. I’m telling you the truth.”
“You’re saying that to make me feel good.”
“No. I’m not.” Hayden’s eyes blazed fire. “And I had no complaints about your oral presentation. I’d give you an A.”
His face burned. “That…that’s different.”
“It doesn’t have to be. Just remember how confident you were with me, and use that.”
A shudder ran through him. “I wish…I wish it were that simple.”
“It will be. You’re going to kill it. Let’s go through everything until you feel ready.”
Hayden returned to his chair, and Armi missed his closeness. His mere presence gave Armi confidence. He’d have to figure out a way to channel that energy into the lunch tomorrow.
“All right. Let’s do this.”
**
Martin Price turned off the recorder. “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
It was horrific, but Armi gave him a tentative smile. “I guess not.” He gulped his third glass of ice water. “Do you have everything you need?”
“Yep. It’s all there. And just in time for dessert.”
“I hope you enjoy it.”
Price took a big scoop of his crème br?lée . “I know I will. Nothing for you? You didn’t eat much.”
“I, uh, don’t usually eat a big lunch.” He’d barely managed to choke down a bowl of soup. Hopefully Price didn’t notice that a spoonful of it had landed in his lap. At least it was on the napkin this time and not on his tie.
Shrewd gray eyes met his. “I didn’t make you nervous, did I?”
“Me?” Armi huffed out a laugh through a throat so tight, it almost hurt. “No, not at all.”
Price finished the dessert and blotted his lips. “Always delicious. Thanks so much for the lunch and the interview. It should be in Friday’s paper if my editor doesn’t have too many changes.”
Their server brought over the bill, and Armi signed it and left a big tip. “I’m looking forward to reading it.”
“Good luck, Armand.” Price left him seated, and Armi watched him walk away, only to see Russell—whom he hadn’t noticed sitting at the bar—stop Price. They spoke for a few minutes, then left together. His phone buzzed, and seeing it was Hayden, he forgot about Russell.
“Hi. He just left.”
“How did it go?”
“Tell you when I see you.”
“Okay. You have a three o’clock conference call, but other than that, the day is free.”
“What’s that about again? Sorry. I concentrated so much on this interview, I didn’t pay attention to much else.”
“It’s about salary caps. How it’ll impact the team if you sign the two big names. Geiger will take the lead, but I have all the stats for you. Don’t worry. That’s why you have me.”
If only that were true in every sense of the word.
It was a brisk, ten-minute walk back to the office, and upon his return, Hayden followed him inside and closed the door.
“So tell me. And here’s a green tea and a cool towel for your neck. I figured you might be a little nervous, and this should help.”
He sank into his chair and took a sip. “Thank you. It went…okay. I think. He asked all the questions you said he would, and I gave the answers we discussed.” The cold felt wonderful against his overheated skin.
“But not too quickly, as if you’d rehearsed, right?”
“N-no, I don’t think so. I took my time. But then he asked me some personal questions.” His cheeks grew warm. “I wasn’t prepared for that.”
“Personal? Like what?” Hayden’s eyes narrowed.
“Like, am I dating anyone, and do I want to continue with the team, or am I only doing this because of my father?” He took a napkin off the desk and wiped his face. “I-I didn’t really know how to answer that, so I said that I don’t discuss my personal life and that I’m very happy to be leading the team into the future.”
A bright smile lit Hayden’s face, chasing away his frown. “That’s perfect. Excellent job.”
Praise wasn’t something he was used to. Never from his father, and though Armi had heard it from his mother, after a while it became like white noise. A deflection of his father’s painful words. Hearing it from Hayden stoked his confidence.
“Thank you again for going the extra mile. I know you have better things to do with your time, so I appreciate all your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’re welcome, but of course you could. It’s all there. Inside you. Have faith in yourself, and others will as well. When you’re ready to go over the stats, let me know.”
After Hayden left, Armi sat and wondered why the words of a virtual stranger meant so much.