Chapter Nineteen
W atching a moment go viral is a bizarre experience. It’s like being in Wembley Stadium with ninety thousand adoring Taylor Swift fans all screaming for their heroine, only the volume is on mute.
‘Oh my God!’ Mandy squealed like a child on Christmas morning. ‘Is this faster than the bunion pics?’
‘ Way faster,’ Jimi informed us. ‘Like a hundred times more already.’
‘And the comments?’ Mandy asked, buzzing.
‘All great. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you. Ooh baby. Hot mama. Yes, mama! Blah, blah, blah …” Have a read if you like.’ He handed the phone to her.
We watched as Mandy began scrolling. If I wasn’t mistaken, there were tears in her eyes.
‘Wow,’ she whimpered. ‘There’s so much love out there.’
An hour later, the likes had topped three million, views of the Reel were over ten million, and the news had hit all major gossip sites globally.
Julie-Ann had apparently texted to say that both HELLO!
and Tatler , as well as People magazine, had been in touch about photoshoots.
‘So now they want to know me,’ Mandy cooed smugly.
We spent the rest of the day with Mandy at a showroom in Beverly Hills, as she approved the final packaging and tested the Baby Mom fragrance which had arrived by the crate-load.
It was clear that falling pregnant was lucrative, as well as good for Mandy on a personal level, and the comment she had made to that effect in the cryotherapy chamber made sense.
Mandy and Jose must have had all these business ventures lined up and ready to go the second they got the green light.
That evening, Jimi and I finally had a chance to chat.
‘So, what is it about this city that doesn’t work for you?
’ I asked, as he poured us each a glass of wine on the terrace outside my room.
The sun was about to disappear behind the hills again and the sprawling city twinkled against the inky sky.
‘It’s not that it doesn’t work for me, I’m sure it could again,’ he said. ‘It’s just full of memories, some of which are difficult.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Not right now. More wine?’ He had already downed his first glass and began recharging it. I took a large sip and offered mine for a refill too. ‘Tell me more about you. Family?’
‘There’s Mum, Dad, and my older sister, Lucy, she’s expecting her second baby around the same time as Mandy. I love being an auntie to my niece, Nora.’
‘What kind of aunt are you?’ His eyes twinkled mischievously.
‘Oh, you know, hilarious, fun, feeder of chocolate and crisps, and creator of an epic dressing-up box – the best kind. How do you feel about becoming an uncle?’
‘I can’t wait.’ He smiled gently.
‘It’s the best role. You can do the odd babysitting, spoil them, let them stay up too late, feed them sweets so they’ll love you forever – and then give them back. It’s ideal.’
‘I’m like you, I don’t want to actually keep them.’
‘I didn’t say I don’t want to keep one.’ I instantly felt a little sweaty palmed to be talking this personally with Jimi. ‘I mean, I definitely don’t want one now, but I’d like to be a mum one day. Would you feel differently if it was your own?’
‘Marriage, kids, it’s not a life I would choose,’ he replied.
‘Really?’ I don’t know why this caused my stomach to sink. I reached for the bottle to fill us up again. The wine was slipping down really well this evening.
‘Not after seeing what happened to my parents,’ Jimi said, his eye-line fixed on the horizon. ‘They had a dramatic split.’
I looked at him carefully. ‘What happened?’
‘Do you really want to know?’
‘If you want to tell me.’
‘Mum’s infidelities caught up with her. One night, when I must have been no more than six, it all came to a head.
Mum and Dad had a huge row. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the cellar, and I came into the cinema room to find him watching their wedding video in bits, while she was upstairs stuffing her suitcase.
After another explosive exchange with Dad on the patio, she tossed her wedding ring into the swimming pool and left. We never saw her again.’
‘You never saw her again?’
‘Not until many years later,’ he muttered.
‘No one expects the mum to leave in this way, but it happens. She went on to have another family with the other guy, and before you ask, yes, I do have abandonment issues. Yes, I struggle to hold down relationships because of this. Yes, I love women, yet shy away from commitment. Yes, I have a therapist and, no, I’m not quite there yet but I hope to be one day. Does that answer all your questions?’
I listened intently to what Jimi was telling me and then paused as I took it all in.
I nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m sorry if I overstepped the mark by asking,’ I said.
‘I didn’t mean to pry; I was just trying to be a friend.
It sounds like you went through a lot as a child and I’m glad you got the help you needed. ’
‘It takes continual work, every day.’ He sighed. ‘It’s like I’d sabotage my own life if I had a chance.’
‘In what sort of way?’
‘Do you ever stop asking questions, Amber?’ He smiled. I stared at him in fascination, searching his face for a fault. The messiness of his past only made him more attractive in this moment. He does have quite a big nose. But it’s a handsome big nose.
‘Sorry. I’ll change the subject,’ I replied. ‘Isn’t this view incredible?’ I looked out at the twinkling lights of Tinseltown beneath us.
‘More questions. Yes, it is.’
‘Look at the tiny cars, like beetles crawling along streets.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Now it was his turn to search my face with bemusement.
Is he laughing at me?
I opened my mouth to say something, but Jimi gently put a finger to my lips.
He fixed his eyes on me. I swallowed. His touching my lips felt intimate.
It was presumptuous, perhaps, but he judged correctly that I didn’t mind the closeness.
Something stirred in me. Reading the unspoken signs, Jimi moved his finger and took this moment to lean forwards and hold my face in his hands.
I didn’t move away or do anything about it, because it felt as though time was frozen.
I stared at him, weighing him up, thinking that there really was no way of looking at Jimi and not liking what you saw.
Even the slightly big nose. He had this power to make me feel like the most fascinating person on the planet.
A heartbeat later, his lips were on mine. My eyes were wide open, I felt surprised and excited at the same time about the novelty of someone new. It felt nice.
My body must have tensed.
‘Relax,’ he whispered, his hands moved around my head, his fingers were in my hair.
And then our lips joined again. He felt soft and tender, and although there was no suggestion of a probing tongue finding its way in, to be completely honest, I would not have complained if it had.
A few seconds later, he pulled away. It had been a lovely, impulsive, longer-than-was-strictly-necessary kiss on the lips. One that left me longing for more.
‘Mierda, you’re a good kisser,’ he said when we were detached from one another.
‘Thank you,’ I whispered back. Then I felt silly for thanking him.
What for? We hadn’t actually properly kissed, had we?
I felt all light, dreamy, and hungry for him. Jimi reached down and took my hand, lacing his fingers with mine just briefly. He squeezed my hand before letting me go, and then sighed. It was the kind of sigh that suggested he was trying really hard to restrain himself.
Then another sigh, the kind that says, I really shouldn’t be doing this.
‘What about your boyfriend?’ he said.
I didn’t know how to respond to that.
‘Now you’re the one asking the questions,’ I said after a moment had passed between us.
I turned towards the table and picked up the bottle of wine, realising it was empty.
‘We’d better not have any more,’ I said unconvincingly, alluding to the fact that I could be very easily persuaded if he were to magically produce more wine. Although I couldn’t be responsible for what might happen if we did.
Jimi smiled and in a new tone of voice said, ‘Tomorrow is a big day, with the launch.’
He’s right, we should call it a night.
We held each other’s gaze for a moment, and I felt an energy between us.
‘I had a lovely evening. Thank you for confiding in me,’ I said softly.
We hugged and when he walked away, I wanted to follow him.
That night, Jimi was stuck inside my head, pulsing through my veins.
I felt a physical ache for him to be holding me again; to look at me with those bewitching eyes, with anticipation of what might come.
When I fell asleep, I dreamt about his lips meeting mine again – this time getting lost in the softest kisses that would get more firm, more intense, more urgent with each twirl of his tongue against mine, until he was physically pushed against me – and I felt a wet hotness between my thighs.
I now understood what Star had meant by ‘Thinking Off’, as I came in my sleep.
The next morning, when my eyes opened with a jolt, I immediately thought of Jimi.
I got up and opened my curtains to reveal the terrace and the panoramic view of the city below me – a view that could never get old; a view I could very easily get used to.
Then I batted this thought aside and focused my mind on Rob.
He and I had dated in the conventional way – meeting at work, dating in pubs, cinemas, and restaurants.
We held hands on walks, met each other’s families over congenial dinners, and moved to a new city together.
Last night with Jimi, life felt so different, a crazy whirlwind of desire and romance.
Our wine glasses and the finished bottle were still on the table.
Incriminating evidence. Is this really happening?