Chapter Twenty-Two #2
Most passers-by gave her a double-take, some with a look of curiosity, most with visible disdain, perturbed by this blot on the picturesque landscape.
Yet, if a bystander happened to be under the age of thirty, the double-take was swiftly followed by the elevation of a camera phone, followed by, I imagine, an upload to TikTok, Snap, or Insta.
Soon, a few others had noticed, and this led to a murmur of excitement along the beach as more people wondered what could be causing this much fuss before nine a.m. on a soggy Sunday.
Before we knew it, like bees to a hive, a little crowd of spectators had formed around the Queen.
It had become startlingly apparent that this freezing-cold figure, in pursuit of the perfect social media moment, was not your average local.
As the morning progressed, still the winds came and the rain fell in sheets, and we could see this wasn’t the easiest assignment for Mandy, who seemed to be posing in an awkward way; her hands wrapped around her middle, as if she was trying to hold the dress together, as well as find the most flattering angles.
‘I know it’s hard, but can you try to relax a little?’ Jimi was shouting, as he moved around on an adjacent sand dune capturing her best side. We had no mobile phone reception on the beach, so he was using a megaphone we had brought along to communicate with Mandy.
After a whole hour of standing in various poses in the biting winds, she picked it up and yelled, ‘Just tell me you got it? I’m freezing all my cellulite off over here!’
Jimi signalled with a feeble thumbs-up, followed by a moving flat hand.
Mandy looked stressed. ‘What does that mean ? You’re not sure? I told you to keep your finger down. It’s meant to look candid. Did you get the video too?’
She turned to her left. ‘Jose! Will you check if he’s got it? I can’t stand here all day, I can feel hyperthermia starting.’ Then, clocking some bystanders with phones raised and pointed in her direction, she added, ‘I’ll either die out here, or someone will get the exclusive before me!’
They smiled uncomfortably and backed off.
When Jose reached Jimi, he also looked unconvinced by the images.
‘Well, I can’t feel my fat anymore,’ Mandy called back. ‘Let’s call it quits. We can always tweak things in Photoshop later.’ That comment made me bristle. Yet I felt for Mandy, being such a trooper in unforgiving conditions.
‘We’re so nearly there, just a few more shots and I think we’d have it in the bag,’ Jimi shouted into his cupped hands.
Mandy began sounding-off about how she needn’t have bothered paying for the cryotherapy sessions, when she could have just come here instead.
Jose looked back towards Julie-Anne and asked, ‘What do you think?’
Julie-Ann urged calm. ‘We need to think about the baby too. Mandy, why don’t you take ten in the trailer? Let’s see how you feel when you’ve warmed up.’
‘Finally, someone speaking sense!’ Mandy stormed. ‘Amber, where’s that Dryrobe?’
I leapt into action, tossing the other Dryrobe over my arm, and rushing over to fling it around her shoulders, which were glistening with rainwater.
I was always prepared, even on our ‘candid’ shoots.
Then I led her to shelter – the Winnebago Julie-Ann had hired as our transport for the day, and for Mandy to use as a dressing room.
As we passed Jimi, he muttered, ‘What is it you Brits say, “No such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes”?’
Jimi. Making every day more exciting purely by his presence; his ostentatious bright white puffa jacket at odds with the scenery, but he still looked gorgeous.
As the wind picked up, the sharp, fresh aroma of his citrus aftershave made my nostrils zing.
On paper, I should not find it attractive.
On paper, he is absolutely not my type. On paper, this is wrong for hundreds of reasons.
But the problem is, the paper got torn up and burnt somewhere along the way.
‘Any eagle-eyed fashion fan will know this dress,’ I replied, unperturbed. ‘There are only two in existence and Jennifer Lopez has the other.’
‘Well, you Brits sure are teaching us about resilience,’ he quipped, slipping me a sideways glance laced with affection. I wonder what exactly he meant by this.
Could he be referring to the chemistry between us?
The night of the kiss had been playing in my mind, over and over, like the opening credits of the telenovela I seemed to have found myself accidentally starring in.
Each time the memory was embellished in places; more passionate than the last. Jimi was the human Rubik’s cube I was struggling to solve.
‘These photos better be worth it,’ Mandy muttered belligerently, as I opened the door to the Winnebago and ushered her inside. She was shivering.
My phone pinged with a message, it was Rob. Are you okay?
Not really , I thought.
‘Give me a minute, I need to sort myself out,’ Mandy said, indicating I should leave, so I dutifully closed the door behind her and waited outside like a bedraggled sentry.
I used the time to text Rob back. I’m focusing on the bonus.
‘Coffee run!’ Blair announced from behind me, which was the best thing I had heard anyone say all day. It really was raw-cold, and the sooner we could get this shoot done, the quicker I could get back to the warmth of the house and call Rob.
‘Check if Mandy wants a decaf Americano, would you?’ Blair called out to me.
I turned back towards the Winnebago and opened the door just wide enough to poke my head inside and take her order. ‘Mandy, would you—’
The sight which greeted me made me stop in my tracks.