Chapter Twenty-Five #2
She then encouraged the women to take part in a series of affirmations, encouraging them to ‘speak their truth’ by repeating mantras after her: ‘I am a cosmic vessel’, ‘I birth galaxies within’ and ‘My body dances with constellations’.
Suddenly we noticed things turning emotional in the pool, as tears streamed down Mandy’s cheeks. Instinctively Natalia put her arms around her, hugging her and soothing her.
We could hear her saying, ‘I’m here for you, Mandy, we both are.’
And then Ebony joined in, placing her strong arms around the two women.
‘It’s like the reality of becoming a mum is just hitting me,’ Mandy snivelled. ‘And I don’t know if I deserve this.’
‘Of course you deserve this, heavenly Mandy,’ Ebony comforted her, drawing Mandy’s damp head towards her large bosom in a motherly hug.
‘But I bought my baby on my Amex,’ Mandy whimpered.
‘There are lots of ways to become a mother,’ Ebony continued.
‘You tried many of them, and this decision was not taken lightly by you. You were destined to be a mother, and the universe brought Natalia to you at exactly the right time; it was written in the stars. Remember when we worked on your cosmic birth chart?’
Mandy sobbed, ‘Yes.’
‘This was in your cosmic blueprint. It is your destiny. There is no right or wrong way to become a mum.’ She looked across to Natalia and Lucy, drawing them back into the ritual.
‘I understand this can be a deeply emotional activation, and this is because your soul is remembering your cosmic origins. Let’s do some breathwork together. ’
Mandy composed herself, and the women’s hands joined again, as Ebony guided them through a series of breathwork exercises, chanting, ‘Inhale stardust; exhale fear.’
This seemed to calm Mandy, who smiled, but still looked sad.
As Ebony whispered gratitude to the stars, the full moon, and the women’s cosmic lineage, she placed both of her palms on Natalia’s bump.
Her eyes fluttered shut, and she seemed to surrender to the moment, perhaps leaning in to the mystery of creation itself.
As Mandy watched, her expression now looked serene, peaceful, as if a shift had occurred and she could be invested in this pregnancy.
Natalia, who had displayed the patience of a saint throughout, encouraged Mandy to cradle the curve of her baby bump. Both women smiled as the baby made its presence known with a well-timed little kick, or ‘cosmic dance’ as Ebony referred to it.
When the ritual drew to a close, we were all left speechless for a moment.
The moment of contemplation was broken abruptly by a loud bubbling noise emanating from somewhere underneath Ebony. She pressed her lips together into a thin, restrained smile.
‘Was that what I thought it was?’ Lucy exclaimed, moving backwards in the water, away from a warm patch of bubbles around Ebony.
Natalia twitched her nose, suggesting her highly sensitive sense of smell due to pregnancy had detected something other than the earthy aroma of sandalwood and cedar from the incense.
Ebony let out another sound from her undercarriage, this time louder, sending a bubble plume to the surface with some speed. This was enough to make Lucy audibly snort, before breaking into hysterical laughter.
‘She farted!’ she howled, almost choking on the words because she found it so funny. Mum and I gripped our sides and burst into laughter too.
‘The exhalation of a cosmic gas perhaps?’ Lucy giggled uncontrollably.
I held my breath for a second, waiting for Ebony to come out with a spectacular cover-up for what was blatantly flatulence.
Even Mandy was giggling, and Natalia was unsure where to look.
The cosmic doula was impressively composed for a moment, perhaps relieved to have exorcised whatever gases were causing her discomfort, and then the corners of her mouth rose to form a wide smile.
‘There are some things, ladies, only Mother Nature controls. I give you the fourth element – air!’
‘Whether you believe any of it, or not, she’s good. Very good.’ Mum sighed, as we relived the ritual from the safety of the hotel restaurant, after the trio had left in Mandy’s blacked-out Mercedes.
Lucy was nursing a weak bellini. ‘I don’t care if I’ll be drinking Gaviscon all evening, I need something to get over that,’ she howled. ‘The cosmic farting!’
Even Mum had tears in her eyes. ‘Oh, I needed that. There is nothing like a bloody good laugh.’
‘Do you think flatulence is a planned part of the ritual?’ I asked.
‘I love you, but you’re sooo gullible sometimes, Amber!’ Lucy exclaimed, before cracking up again.
‘I don’t know how you deal with this kind of madness day-in, day-out,’ Mum remarked.
‘It’s not boring.’ I smiled. ‘And there’s only another few weeks until I get the bonus. I’ve actually enjoyed this experience far more than I initially thought I would.’
We paused as a waiter delivered our afternoon tea on a pretty cake stand. We listened closely as he described in detail the filling of every sandwich and cake, and we salivated over the spread before us.
As we filled our plates, Mum asked me if there was anything I had learnt while working with Mandy. It was an interesting question, and it made me stop to think.
‘I’ve learnt that at the end of the day, we all have struggles because life is rarely linear, it’s a squiggle. And there is beauty in that,’ I replied.
Mum smiled affectionately. ‘Don’t ever lose this outlook, Amber,’ she said. ‘I’m so proud of you.’
I felt my mouth fall open.
‘That means a lot – thanks, Mum.’
‘And how about learning that even cosmic doulas are prone to windy-pops sometimes?’ added Lucy, and we all cracked up again.