Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
The Grey.
The name called to me, not in voice, but like a summoning. Deep in my bones, it carved and marked itself, then fizzled out before it could even whisper its truth to me, before I could sense if I imagined it or not.
Eyes watched me from around the room, their curiosity and caution tapping at my skin. I could choose to tell them everything or not. Trust was a fragile thing. Even if we thought we were on the same side, everyone was out for their own, with their own goals and agendas.
Compartmentalizing the information I had just learned from Tad, I abruptly turned to Killian.
“I’m guessing you didn’t ‘borrow’ me for a fun sleepover?” The accusation was direct.
Killian shifted back at my sudden turn in conversation, his arms folding. “No.”
“You want the nectar.” It was not a question. His new circumstance had sped up his need for the substance. For power.
Killian’s mouth pressed together, his shoulders tilting back. “Every-one, leave us.” His voice was silky and low, but not any less authoritative.
Zander and Sloane were the first to respond, Sloane helping Tad up, shuffling him out of the room. My gaze caught Zander waiting for Eliza, his hand gently touching her lower back as they both exited. He gave me a glance over his shoulder, a soft smile.
I could see it in his smile, his eyes. Whatever little thing he had for me was no longer.
A whisper in the wind evaporating into nothing.
I didn’t doubt he still cared for me, might even claim more, but the spark was no longer there.
Reminding me it had not been me they were drawn to at all.
My power beckoned them. A queen’s power.
When they all left, I faced Killian.
“Still the lord of your domain, I see?” I locked my arms tighter to my chest.
His violet eyes scoured over me, his jaw tight. “I am always the lord of my domain. Wherever I am. You best not forget it.”
“Or what, Killian?”
He didn’t even flinch when I said his name, binding fear around my lungs like rope.
Doubt. Insecurity. Hanna had once accused me of wrapping men around my finger.
Consciously, I never thought I had, my focus too much on Caden.
Though subconsciously, I must have understood my power, the attention I received, and if I put effort into it, the result I would get.
And when you no longer got that result . . .
Shifting on my feet, I nipped at my lip, barricading myself more.
“We made a deal.” Killian stepped closer.
“My month is not up yet.”
A nerve along his jaw twitched. “Things have changed.” Another step, his high-ranking fairy magic pushing against me.
Telling myself to hold my ground, fight back, I could feel his dominance shove at me . . . and I bent to it without a chance. My spine smacked into the wall, my chest rising at how easily he could move me. Grinding my teeth together, anger flared into my muscles.
Was this how it was for all humans? To be so easily overpowered?
“Hmmm.” Killian lifted his brows, his boots hitting mine, his frame a breath away. “Interesting.”
Locking down my expression, I stared back at him.
“Something’s changed in you, Brexley.” His voice felt like it slipped between my thighs, the vibration sliding into me.
A gasp parted my lips, my head slamming back into the wall, my entire body shivering with a response. The unbelievable power he had in merely saying my name.
His head tipped in curiosity. “Something has definitely changed.” He knew I had never responded like this before. I had been able to block his power and glamour. “Makes me curious what else I can do to you now.”
“Is that your kink, Killian? Doing things to me unwillingly?” My brain was rattled by the force coming off him, the sexual energy he always had but had never affected me like this before.
“Would it be, though?” He moved in closer, his breath skating down the curve of my neck. “Would it be unwillingly, Brexley?”
Pleasure fluttered my lashes, and I felt myself growing wet in response. My breath faltered, my hips curving forward. Which really pissed me off.
How fast he had flipped everything on me. How quickly he could have me pleading.
“Stop it,” I growled, trying to curb my response.
“Why don’t you make me?” He studied me. “You always have before, Brexley.”
My mouth parted in a moan, my skin tingling, my nipples scraping across my sweater. My brain was starting to lose the will to fight back, craving more, needing the release he was tempting me with.
“Block me, Brexley.” He intentionally said my name low and dark, the tone driving into me.
His mouth didn’t touch me, but grazed along my neck.
My body curved into his, the taste of an orgasm on my tongue.
It would only take a handful more times of hearing my name on his lips.
The power and intimacy of it were addicting, and he wasn’t actually touching me yet.
I could see why so many humans craved this.
Sought it out like a drug. How many snuck away from Léopold to visit the back alleys or dens of iniquity to feel this high. To feel fae magic.
It had always escaped me before why humans pursued this, not realizing it was because I could fight it. Now I felt weak and exposed. At his will, not my own.
“I can’t even place what it is, but there is something missing.” The vibration of his timbre danced along the sensitive part of my ear. “I used to be able to sense you without even seeing you.”
“You don’t feel it anymore?” My voice came out breathy and coarse. Afraid. For some reason, the thought of Killian only being attracted to my power cut far deeper than Zander.
“What?” He leaned back to look at me.
“Drawn to me?” I looked straight into his eyes, watching every nuance.
His eyes went back and forth between mine. Inspecting. Searching. Peering deeper in.
“If you are asking if I am attracted to you? Want to fuck you against this wall.” He pressed in closer, making my body beg for him to crush me under his weight, to feel his magic drive into me.
To do what he said and fuck me against this wall.
He grunted, leaning his free arm on the wall next to my head, his hand curling into a ball, his nose flaring like he could smell my arousal. “The answer is yes.”
“That’s not what I was asking.” Ash had the same response, but they both knew that was not my meaning.
He stared at me, a realization dropping on him, pinching his mouth. The truth was sharp and painful. A cascade of hurt and disappointment rushed through me, flicking over my face before I shut it down.
“That’s what I thought,” I growled, pushing against him. “Get the hell off me.”
“That’s not it at all.” He grabbed for my arms, pinning them back.
“Get away from me.” I thrashed. “Let me go.”
“Brexley, listen.” My name glided through me again, dipping to my knees, my bones sagging against the wall.
“Please,” I croaked, fighting back the tears, not sure what I was pleading for.
Killian pulled his head back, actually looking at me. “You really can’t fight me, can you?”
Emotion crinkled my face, my throat full of tears. “No.” The single word barely made it from my mouth as I dropped my head.
“What the fuck happened?” Fingers slid under my chin, propping my head back up. “Why can’t you block fae glamour anymore?”
He didn’t need to know the why. He only wanted to know one thing.
Staring at him, my emotions cut off and tucked away, I responded.
“I know where the nectar is.”
He jerked, dropping his hand from me, taken off guard by my response.
“Where?”
I rolled my jaw.
“Tell me where it is.”
“It won’t help you now, anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because I burned out all its magic.” I swallowed. “And mine. It’s gone.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Brex-ley.” He gritted angrily through his teeth, pushing his energy harder against me as punishment.
“I’m not.” A whimper hissed between my teeth, my breath panting, taking all my self-worth and stubbornness not to rub against him or demand he to take me right here.
“I don’t understand.” Fury bristled under his skin. The man who always got what he wanted twisted his power deeper into me. “It’s one of the most powerful objects in the world. How could you burn through it?”
“Because.” I ground out as his powerful fairy magic switched from pleasure to pain. “Stop.”
“Stop?” He lifted his eyebrow. “Wouldn’t stopping be more of a punishment? For those I want to cruelly reprimand, I stop at the cusp of their release. I’ve been told it is excruciating. Do you like pain, Brexley?”
“At least it would be in my control, Killian.” I gnashed my teeth at him. Honestly, it would be a cruel punishment. I needed the release so badly it hurt. But I didn’t like it being forced on me. It reminded me I was no longer strong enough to play at fae level.
I was a mere mortal.
“Fine.” Killian stepped away, curbing his power.
I slumped into the wall, sucking in air.
Holy shit, I was about to take it all back.
My body clenched, feeling like every muscle I had, especially my core, was experiencing the spasms I used to get as a growing child.
I was denied the pleasure of a mind-blowing release, and now every nerve in me struck back in mutiny. It was worse than torture.
“Fuck,” I hissed, taking deep, controlling breaths. I lifted my head to see Killian’s expression was taut and his cargo pants showed he was experiencing painful tension as well.
“Now talk.” His hands on his hips, veins danced in his neck and jaw. “And don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying to you,” I spat, standing up fully, though the agony didn’t recede. “The nectar is useless now.”
“That’s impossible,” he shouted, moving around the room. “How did it burn out?”
“Because of me.”