26. Yes it does
Yes it does
Elena
My fingers freeze where they touch his skin.
Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly?
Daughter?
No. Nuh uh.
Like a balloon losing its air, I feel myself deflating, drawing in.
Pulling my arms away, I slump into the kitchen chair. “You’re serious?”
It comes out as a squeak.
He leans against the counter in all of his naked glory and nods. “I’m sorry. I had no clue. But everything lines up…” Distracted, he picks up his half-empty beer and finishes it.
“That means, I mean, you and—” I can’t even complete the sentence. Somehow verbalizing it would make it more real.
“Yea. Me and your mom.” His chest expands and contracts with a long breath.
Funny how he can’t meet my eyes now.
I’m suddenly bare and vulnerable.
And such an idiot.
He told me he was friends with my mom. How did I not see there was more?
My spine straightens, driving me up and towards my room.
“Elena, wait?” He reaches out, but closes his hand before he touches me. “It doesn’t change—“
"Yes it does,” I snap, slamming the door behind me.
Falling face first into my bed, I curl up into a ball hugging my pillow.
The weight of truth crushes down on me. Those hands that made me feel so incredible, touched my mother first.
He kissed her first.
Did he love her?
Sour pain makes my stomach roll at the thought.
Why didn’t we stay in Montana? Was he mean to Mom?
Fuck, all these thoughts make me toss and turn.
Sleep is sporadic, broken with bouts of uncontrollable crying soaking the collar of my shirt from wiping my tears.
What does this all mean? How could I ever be with him knowing the past.
A weird ache of jealousy settles in my chest.
Would he have gone back to her if she was still alive?
Burying my head in the blankets doesn’t block out the dawning light.
Or get rid of the faint twinges on my thighs at the memory of his palm.
I want him, and the comfort that I wish I had going through this.
If only it wasn’t caused by him.
Soft sounds of the coffee pot starting make it impossible to doze. I know he’s trying to be quiet, he does every morning.
Yet it’s like I can hear every tiny movement that I normally don’t even wake up for.
No matter what, I’m stuck with him now. If he’s Cynthia’s dad, he’ll always be around.
I guess she’d be safe.
Would that mean I wouldn’t get custody?
Hold on.
An idea has me sitting bolt upright and shrugging on a long t-shirt.
Running into the kitchen, my heart drops to see he’s already gone.
“Wade?” Did he leave?
“Yea?” His deep voice calls from his room.
When his head pops out, dark bags frame his amber eyes. He turns away, buttoning his uniform, and leaving the door open.
“I’ve been thinking—” I pause, chewing on my lip.
I hate this new tension.
He doesn’t look at me. “Me too. About a lot of things. I should have told you—”
“Not about that.” The hem of my shirt rolls between my fingers. “About Cynthia.”
His gaze lifts to mine. “Yea, and your mom—”
My palm flies up to face him. “No. I don’t even want to go there right now. Knowing you had her first is weird as hell.” Just the thought makes me nauseous.
His jaw tightens. “Elena, you were ten for fuck’s sake,” he says hoarsely.
“If I hadn’t once cared for your mom, you’d have never been here,” he grumbles, grabbing his hat from the dresser and turns to me.
“I had a whole damn life before you were even born. I’m almost twice your age.
You can’t hold shit against me for that far in the past.” His eyes narrow.
“I don’t hold your actions against you,” he growls, then pushes past me into the living room.
That stings.
“It’s crazy to me. All I can picture now is that you’re comparing us.” I cross my arms over my chest and drop my chin to glare at him.
This isn’t going how I thought it would.
He shakes his head, then sinks onto the couch to pull on his boots, hiding his expression with the brim of his cowboy hat.
“I never once thought about her last night. It was just you. From the feel of your skin, to those little moans you made.” He tilts his Stetson far enough to glance up at me.
Why does that make me want to squeeze my thighs together? Fluttering works through my belly pushing me to reach out to him, but I don’t give in.
“I just wanted you, Elena. You had one hundred percent of my focus.” Gravel tinges his words and he clears his throat as he stands.
I don’t know what to say. My arms slide down to hug my waist.
This is all so much.
On one hand, everything is more complicated.
On the other, a new option exists to save my sister.
“Wade, I—”
This time, he raises his palm to silence me. “We’ll talk about it later. I gotta get to work.”
“But, I think—”
He stops me a second time with a hard stare. “I’m not gonna argue about this.” His chest rumbles as he leaves.
When the front door slams shut, I stand there stunned.
Fuck him.
Throwing it open, I chase him across the porch and into the driveway.
“Wade, you listen to me!” I yell, stomping my bare foot to the dirt. “You’re her father! You can fight for custody now!”
His leg is perched on the running board of his truck, his grip on the steering wheel.
But he stops.
Slowly, he lifts his head, his mouth thinning into a line.
His Adam’s apple bobs with a hard swallow.
With a small dip of his hat, he climbs in and fires up the engine.
I watch him leave until the dust settles around me.
Everything may have changed between us, but there’s a glimmer of hope I might be able to see my sister again.