35. A little piece of everything
A little piece of everything
Wade
While Elena was hugging Cynthia, I exchanged the paperwork with the caretaker for release.
It’s only when I lean against the front of the truck and get a solid look at my daughter for the first time that the true weight of everything crashes over my shoulders.
From the color of her hair to how she narrows her eyes, there’s no mistaking she’s mine.
I’ve seen that same expression on my own face in the mirror many times.
Holy shit, I’m a father.
“Wade? Come and meet Cynthia.” Elena turns to me, waving her fingers.
My stomach plummets when I see the wary expression tinge Cynthia’s features.
She doesn’t know me, or trust me.
I can be patient.
Squatting to my heels, I extend my hand. “Cynthia, it’s nice to finally meet you. Elena has told me what a wonderful person you are.”
She eyes my palm. “Are you really my dad?”
I drop my arm, resting my elbows on my thighs and give her a solemn nod. “I am. I just got the paternity test yesterday.”
Her chin works through a series of ripples. “So you didn’t know before now?”
It’s almost as if I can see the thoughts running through her head. “No. But if I had, I’d have been there right away. And I can say with one hundred percent certainty that I’ll always be there for you from now on.”
Slowly, I extend my palm again, then hold my breath to see if she’ll shake it.
Elena’s sharp inhale tells me she’s doing the same.
We both watch as Cynthia glances back and forth between us.
Then she rushes forward, past my offered hand, to throw her arms around my neck. “I believe you,” she whispers.
I can’t describe the flood of raw emotion that nearly overtakes me.
I’m holding my child . A piece of myself and a woman I cared for.
She’s also a part of the person I love now.
The whole thing is a surge of heat that constricts my chest in an intense wave.
When Cynthia backs away, a crooked smile tugs up her cheek.
She looks like Elena when she does it. Or like her mother.
Fuck. This is all so much.
“What do you say I take us all home?” I stand, quickly wiping the sting in my eyes.
Cynthia turns to her sister, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Can you stay with me tonight?”
Elena glances at me over Cynthia’s head. “Every night, sis.” Pulling her close, Elena walks her to the truck.
“Why does it say ‘sheriff’ on the side?” Cynthia asks as she crawls in.
“I’m the sheriff of Wannigan County.” I hold Elena’s door open while I answer.
“Wow, that’s cool. My dad’s a cop too? I guess I’ll be twice as safe.” My daughter’s laughter brings rays of sunshine into the cab.
Damn. So this is what it feels like?
It’s amazing.
Like the first time getting a lungful of mountain air.
Energy sizzles in my limbs as I back us down the driveway towards the road.
Never in a million years would I have thought just a few months ago how much my life was going to change.
All for the better.
Elena twists in her seatbelt so she can see Cynthia behind me. “So, ‘Thia, tell me all about the place you were staying. Were they nice to you? Any of the other kids friendly?”
“Nancy is the lady who runs it. She’s pretty bossy, but we got dessert before bed.
We all had chores. I had to unload the dishwasher this week and then sweep the kitchen.
” Her hands fly up high enough I can catch a glimpse of them in the rearview.
“ Way better than last week when I had to clean the hall bathroom.”
“So you got to rotate?” Elena’s gaze doesn’t stray from her sister.
The look of pure joy that colors her features makes this even better.
I want to reach out and touch her, but keep my elbow on the console. Throwing that reality onto Cynthia on top of everything else just seems like…a lot.
“Everyone except for Zack. He’s in a wheelchair so most of his chores are stuff like cleaning off the table.” Cynthia’s eyes meet mine in the mirror. “Do I call you ‘dad’, or ‘papa’, or like, ‘father dearest’ or something?” Her stray strand of red hair curls next to her temple.
“I’m not going to ask you to call me anything that you aren’t comfortable with. Even Wade is fine if that’s what you’d like. Do you like ‘Thia better?”
Her shoulders rise and fall. “Elena’s always called me that. Mom used to call me Cindy, and I hated it.” Her nose wrinkles as she looks to her sister. “What did you call your dad?”
Elena stiffens. “He always made me call him ‘sir’ or he’d beat me.”
I catch her digging her nails into her skirt.
Damn that fucker.
I’m glad he’s dead. He deserved every blow I gave him.
“Mr. Wade, um, dad? You won’t do that if I mess up and forget, will you?” Cynthia leans closer, as if she’s waiting on my answer.
“Absolutely not,” I grunt.
Then Elena’s cool fingers rest on my forearm. “You’ll like Wade. He’s going to be an amazing daddy .” Her wide grin broadcasts that she knows exactly what she’s doing to me.
And it makes my dick twitch.
“Hmm. I don’t like ‘daddy’. You make it sound weird,” Cynthia mumbles, then slumps against her seat. “Is it a long drive?”
“Couple of hours. But thought we’d stop for snacks and a bathroom break pretty soon.” I haven’t been around kids her age since Mason’s were small, so I have no idea what her traveling capability is.
“‘Thia? Do you still have your sketchbook? Any new drawings?” Elena shifts her sister’s focus when the frown starts to form.
That seems to be all of the distraction she needs.
Before I know it, I’m dodging loose pieces of paper that keep flitting between the front and back as they chatter over little sketches of various objects.
Every one I catch a peek at is impressive. Clear lines, shading, and done perfectly to scale.
She didn’t get that from me.
“You’re very talented. Did your mom do art?” I ask quietly, almost hating myself for broaching the subject.
Elena nods. “She used to make our coloring books on old copy pages. She could draw any character from a show we asked for.”
I had no idea.
There was a whole side of Maria I never saw. It makes my chest ache at the things like this that I missed.
Except now I get to see them in a new way.
Maybe I’ll find Cynthia an easel? A fancy sketchbook?
Shit, it’d be so easy to want to buy her everything.
I’ve barely known her for an hour and already want to spoil her. She deserves it.
Weirdly, I feel a tiny bit guilty for having missed so much already.
“No, Wade.” Elena’s hushed tone distracts me along with her tender touch.
A quick glance tells that Cynthia is sleeping against her backpack.
“No, what? I didn’t say anything.” I reach over to cover her fingers, grateful for the morsel of contact.
My thoughts stop spinning with her gentle caress.
“She doesn’t need anything special. She just needs a parent who loves her and stability.
I can see your expression every time she talked about a new sketchpad.
I promise she will be grateful for the stability that you provide, like I am.
” She clicks off her seatbelt and props herself on her knees to get close enough to brush my cheek with her soft mouth.
“The best thing you can do is just be there. Be warned we both come with some serious abandonment baggage.”
She raises to tickle my ear with her silky lips. “You brought her back to me. I’ll never be able to thank you enough. I love you for everything you do for me, daddy. ” Her words are more breath than sound, but they send my blood burning south to fill my crotch.
Before she backs away, I manage to knot my fingers in the fabric of her shirt, pulling her to me.
“Say that again,” I growl, struggling to keep my voice as low as hers.
“What? Daddy?” she purrs, stroking my wrist.
I shake my head, reminding myself I’m supposed to be watching the road. “No, the other part.”
Her smile teases up her cheek. “That I have abandonment issues?”
A rumble escapes from my chest. “Naughty girl. I already knew about those. Try again.”
This time she chews on her lip. “Oh, you mean the bit about how I love you?”
When she bats those dark eyes in feigned innocence, I’m tempted to jerk the truck to the side of the road.
“Yea. That’s the one.” Using her blouse as leverage, I drag her into a crushing kiss.