Chapter 8 #2
Sarah reached for the wine glass in Beth’s hand, draining the last of its contents in one gulp. “You know that extremely short date I went on on Friday? The one I ended early?” As she spoke, her eyes landed on Liv.
Beth nodded, remembering hearing about it from her on Saturday morning when she had swung by the Grumpy Goat during Beth’s opening shift.
“It would have been rude of me not to say anything,” Liv said defensively.
“We didn’t even make it through the appetizer,” Sarah muttered under her breath.
“I’m not sorry.”
“Neither am I,” Sarah added.
“Wait a minute. What is going on?” Beth asked, still lost.
“Sarah and I went on a date on Friday,” Liv said, taking an unbothered sip from her glass.
“I appreciate a driven and ambitious woman as much as the next girl, but I’m looking for something specific in a woman.
And while everything looked good on paper, it was apparent to me very quickly that we”—she gestured between herself and Sarah—“wouldn’t be going anywhere.
So I told her that I thought we’d be better as—”
“Friends,” Beth finished, understanding what Sean was finding so funny as she echoed the exact words Liv had told her at the end of their own date over the summer.
“She friend-zoned both of you.” Sean snickered into his glass.
“You’d think that for someone looking for something so specific, using a match-making service would expedite the process a bit.” Sarah rolled her eyes.
“Perhaps if I were actually using the services, my search would be going quicker. But I’m not. Janet is my aunt. Now and again, she calls me to meet one of her clients when the vibe is right. Who am I to say no? We’re all just out here looking for love, aren’t we?”
“Amen!” Pat said, holding out his empty glass, looking adoringly at Sean.
Sophie reappeared at the table next to them, uncorking the bottle in her hand. “Alright, who wants to try that reserve?” All five of them held out their wine glasses, ready for more.
Sophie talked them through the tasting notes for each of the reserve wines, and by the time they reached the last one, Beth was definitely feeling the effects.
She smiled to herself, sitting quietly on her stool as she observed the group around her, watching how their varying personalities interacted with and played on one another.
Sarah and Sean like oil and water, each with a heart of gold.
Sweet, gentle Pat, always down for a good time.
And now there was Liv, with all her eccentricities and oddities—these were her friends.
Six months ago, socializing like this would have felt so forced, so not where her headspace was even a year after Jamie’s passing.
Now, however, it felt right. But probably the most important thing this evening had done for her was restore her faith in her ability to have fun without feeling guilty—something that hadn’t happened since Jamie died.
She made a mental note to tell Lenore the next time she saw her—actually, she made a mental note to schedule an appointment.
It had been almost four months since she had last sat in Lenore’s incredibly bland office to talk about her feelings.
Those four months had gone by so fast, and not once had Beth really felt the need to go back to therapy.
She had her tools for coping with everything from grief to overwhelm to anxiety to imposter syndrome.
Wasn’t the next part to put those tools to work?
“Beth?” Sarah gave her a quizzical look.
Crap. She had zoned out again. She really needed to stop doing that, but for her whole life, she had been the type of person who spent just a little too much time in her head.
She glanced around the table to try to piece together what had happened while she’d been off in her little world.
Sean and Pat were standing, pulling on their coats, and Oliver had returned with the baby.
“Sorry, I missed that. What?”
“Everyone else is heading out, but I was going to stay and have another glass of wine while Sophie wraps up a few things here. Do you want to stay?”
Beth glanced around, quickly making her decision. “Yeah, another drink sounds great. I could go for a glass of that Viognier.”
“I had a feeling that’s what you were going to want. I had Sophie grab you a glass.” Sarah smiled as Sophie set down two glasses in front of them.
“I’ll be in the back finishing up a few things. Holler if you need anything,” Sophie said, stopping to kiss Oliver and say her goodbyes to Liv and Delaney.
“We need to head out,” Sean said, leaning in to hug Beth first, then extending a hand to Sarah. “You two behave yourselves.” He winked before following Pat out the door.
“Auntie duty calls.” Liv pulled Beth into a warm hug before turning to Sarah. “Sarah, it was good to see you again so soon. I’m sure this won’t be the last time our paths cross. I truly meant what I said. I think we’d be good friends.”
A flicker of something Beth couldn’t quite place flashed in Sarah’s eyes before it was gone. “Don’t be a stranger, Liv,” Sarah said.
Then it was the two of them, a bottle of wine, and nothing but the evening ahead.
“God, when was the last time we did this?” Sarah mused, pouring the pale yellow liquid into Beth’s glass and handing it to her.
Beth wasn’t quite sure what this Sarah was referring to. Them sharing a bottle of wine? Them being friends? “Mmhmm,” she agreed non-committally as she sipped from her glass, eyes flitting around the tasting room before landing on the collection of her paintings on the opposite wall.
“Those are yours, aren’t they?” Sarah asked, standing up with her wine glass in hand, moving towards the paintings.
Beth didn’t join her, choosing to remain seated. She watched the way Sarah expertly dangled her wine glass between long, elegant fingers as she examined the paintings. A sudden rush of nervousness hit her as Sarah leaned in close to one, and Beth took an anxious sip from her glass.
“Your style has changed so much over the years,” Sarah observed, looking back at her over her shoulder. “In all the best ways, of course.” She tossed Beth a charming smile, sauntering back to their table. “Working on anything fun these days?”
She froze under Sarah’s unassuming question. The truth was no—she still hadn’t been able to produce anything more than the most basic sketch or drawing. Her studio, paints, brushes, and canvases remained untouched.
“Not really,” she said quickly, hoping that would be enough to quell Sarah’s curiosity.
Sarah simply raised an eyebrow as she sipped from her glass. Of course she saw right through Beth’s response.
“How do you do that?” Beth asked.
“What?”
“How do you always know there’s more than what I’m saying?”
“I’m very good at reading people. You should know that better than anyone,” Sarah said quietly.
Their eyes met over the small, flickering, flameless candle on the table between them.
Beth took the time to really study Sarah in a way she hadn’t in years, trying to see beneath the carefully constructed exterior Sarah had always been so good at showing the world, searching for what existed behind it in the parts she kept the most guarded.
“You have always been good at that.” Beth took another sip from her glass, contemplating what to say next. “I’m not actually working on anything right now. I haven’t been working on anything since Jamie died,” she said flatly.
If Beth were being honest, she’d admit that she was starting to get annoyed with all the lingering bits of grief that still existed in her day-to-day life and how they showed up unexpectedly on nights like tonight.
She’d tell Sarah she was done and ready to fully move on to the next chapter of her life, leaving the chapter marked Jamie behind, but that truth stung a little too much for her to stomach saying it out loud just yet.
Sarah eyed her. “Do you want solutions? Or someone to listen?”
Beth blinked. She had been ready for Sarah to leap into solutioning mode—willing to turn over every stone until she found the right answer to Beth’s problems. It was what she had done ever since they had known each other.
Sarah had a knack for finding genius solutions to even the most nonsensical issues.
But here she was asking what Beth wanted instead of jumping right in. That was new.
“I think I just want you to listen tonight.” Beth’s voice was quiet, but even she could hear the relief in her words.
“You’ll find I’m a lot better at listening than I used to be.” Sarah smiled over the rim of her wine glass, taking the last sip before refilling both their glasses. “I’ve got nothing but time tonight.”
So that was exactly what they did. They took turns talking and listening and listening and talking until the bottle of wine between them disappeared and Sophie returned from the room behind the bar.
“I’m going to lock up soon. How was the wine?” she asked, collecting their empty glasses.
“It was phenomenal,” Beth said, words slurring together just the tiniest bit. The wine had been delicious, but she was feeling it.
“I’m going to call Lily. I don’t think either of us should be driving right now,” Sarah said, trying for the third time to put her arm in her coat sleeve.
Beth giggled as they waved goodbye to Sophie, promising to come back once Grapes of Wrath officially opened. Sarah stopped on the sidewalk outside the tasting room, her phone in her hand and Lily’s name already on the screen as she put the phone on speaker, holding it up between them.
Lily answered on the third ring.
“Hi, sweetie,” Sarah said in the same warm, soft tone she always used with Lily.
“Hi, love!” Beth said a little too loudly, holding up her hand to stifle her giggle.
“Moms? Why are you two together?” Lily asked, her skepticism coming through.
“I ran into your mama, Pat, and Sean, and we all had a glass of wine together,” Sarah explained as Beth swayed from one foot to the other, watching the way the street lights reflected in the puddles on the sidewalk.
“Sounds like more than just one.” Amusement laced Lily’s words as Sarah rolled her eyes.
“Can you come pick us up? We’re on Main Street between the gift shop and the Pho Palace.”
“Yeah, fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Lily said before Sarah’s screen went dark.
“Whatever happened to the art of saying goodbye?” Sarah mused, sliding her phone back into the pocket of her trench coat.
“Communication is a dying art form,” Beth said lazily, shifting her head back and forth, still watching the reflections of light dancing in the puddles.
“That’s bleak.”
Beth shrugged. She took a seat on the bench a few steps away, Sarah sitting beside her as they waited for Lily.
“So we think Lily and Wren are definitely having sex, right?” Beth blurted out.
Sarah laughed, looking at her with an absurd expression. “You know, I never thought you were going to be this weird about her being a young adult with a healthy sex life.”
“I’m not,” Beth objected. “I want to make sure we, you know, prepared her for everything. There were so many things about queer sex no one talked about when we were navigating it at their age, and I just want to make sure she has what she needs from us.”
“If anything, I think we may have over-prepared her,” Sarah pointed out, and this time, Beth laughed with her.
“She asked me a few weeks ago what my first time was like,” Beth admitted, catching Sarah’s eye in the glow of the streetlight, the golden tint warming her features, and she knew Sarah was remembering it too because Sarah had been her first everything.
“Please tell me you didn’t tell our daughter that I took your virginity in the back of a yellow Volkswagen Jetta.” Sarah cringed.
“No, I left out that detail.” Beth laughed. “Didn’t really feel relevant.”
“So what did you tell her?” Sarah asked, turning her body slightly towards Beth’s, their knees touching as she tilted her head in curiosity.
“I told her that having your first time be with someone who loves and respects you is truly the most magical thing in the world.” Beth’s grip on the edge of the bench tightened before relaxing, and for a moment, she thought she caught Sarah’s hand inching closer towards hers, but she decided her tipsy state of mind was making her see things that weren’t really there.
A pair of headlights flashed as the familiar Subaru Outback pulled up at the curb, Lily rolling down the window. Beth took the front seat while Sarah slipped into the back, and as Lily pulled away, she began her teasing.
“You know, I’m proud of you two for making smart drinking choices tonight. You called me when you had too much, and there’s no shame in that. You followed the buddy system and stayed together, and no one is sick or crying. Glad you take your own advice, Moms.”
“Lily, sweetie, I say this with all the love in my heart, but please shut up and drive,” Sarah mumbled from the back seat.
Beth turned to look at Sarah, and that’s when she caught it, that slight playful wink from Sarah that made her heart jump.