Chapter 6
Harper
As we made our final approach to Belfast, my heart raced. A mix of different emotions tangled inside of me. Anger at Noah. Resignation over my agreement with Xander. Absolute terror over our plane landing. Or not landing.
I should’ve taken a Xanax when I’d had the chance.
Somehow being on a smaller plane didn’t make me feel any better about my chances of survival. This happened every time my flight was getting ready to land. I had flashbacks of that landing.
The electrical burnt smell in the cabin.
The eerie knowledge something wasn’t right.
Watching the flight attendants running up and down the aisle telling us to get prepared—‘heads down.’
The calm voice of the captain on the intercom. ‘Brace for impact. Brace, brace, brace.’
“Hold my hand.” Xander’s voice ripped me out of my mental spiral.
I shook my head, ashamed of the tears pooling in my eyes. “I’m fine.”
“You’re fucking terrified. Honestly, I don’t know how you ever got on another plane again. You’re a legend, Harper Grey. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about.”
My mouth moved, but nothing came out. As a tear trailed down my cheek, I took his hand.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you as long as I’m here with you.”
The plane’s wheels bounced off the tarmac, and our seats shook at the impact. A whimper eeked out of me as I clutched his hand like it was my lifeline. “You can’t promise that.”
“Like fuck I can’t.” He held my hand harder than my own grip would allow.
And for the first time since the accident, I felt somewhat calm as the plane I was on taxied down the runway.
As we coasted to a stop, I sent Xander a furtive look. But he was lost in his thoughts, bobbing his head to some rhythm only he could hear. I wanted to thank him, but I didn’t want to interrupt his flow in case he was working on a new song.
He really was an attractive man.
And I couldn’t believe I’d have to pretend to be intimate with him for the next couple of months. How was this my life?
A pleasant bing came overhead followed by an announcement that we could take off our seatbelts and move around the cabin.
“Welcome to Belfast, Northern Ireland,” the captain’s voice came over the speakers. “Local time is 12:05. As you can see out the windows, the weather is rainy and damp which we’ll be able to enjoy all week. Current temp is 58 degrees. Crew prepare to disembark.”
Everyone else unbuckled and moved around their seats, collecting their things.
And it was then I realized I was still clutching Xander’s hand. Like a wackadoo. Awesome.
I all but flung his hand away as I laughed uncomfortably. “Sorry about that.”
“You got nothing to apologize for, angel. You have all your stuff?”
I had to blink a few times. Something about the way he said angel just made all my neurons stop firing. Words. Actions. Things! “Huh?”
“Did you have a carryon?” Xander nodded at the backpack in his lap.
“I, uh…yes.” Shaking my head, I almost tumbled out of my seat as I reached for my smaller backpack that held a change of clothes, my tablet, wallet, phone, and travel docs.
“Perfect.” Xander reached across me, grabbed my backpack, and proceeded to shove it inside his backpack.
“What are you doing?”
“It’ll make it easier.”
“Make what easier?”
But Xander ignored my question. He stood up as everyone else on the plane filed down the aisle toward the door at the front. “You ready?”
“You have all my stuff.”
“Yup. Come on.” He grabbed my elbow, helping me to stand, then laced his fingers with mine.
I let him lead me down the aisle to where the captain, co-captain, Sabrina, and Helen were waiting for us.
The captain gave us a nod. “Nice to fly with you again, Xander. We’ll see you in Dublin in a week.”
“Thanks for the ride, Isaac. This one really appreciated your landing skills.”
I flushed as all the attention turned to me. I shrugged. “It’s…yeah. It was very smooth.”
Captain Isaac’s eyes gleamed. “Glad to have someone notice. It’s the hardest part of the job. We’ll see you all in a week. Enjoy Ireland.”
“You too. Thanks.” Xander led me down the plane’s stairs and when we reached the tarmac, I bobbled at the sudden press of gravity and the change in pressure. Not to mention the cool humidity. I would’ve stumbled like a newborn colt, but Xander saved me. “Whoa.”
His arm came around my waist, and I might’ve leaned on him for an extra beat. “Sorry. I guess I don’t have my land legs yet.”
“We can’t have that.” Xander spun his backpack around to his front and laced his arms through it backwards. Then he bent down in front of me. “Climb aboard.”
“What? No. I can’t.” Looking around, I noticed most of our party had made their way toward the doors marked Immigration and Customs, but a few—including Noah—had paused to watch the two of us. “ Xander .”
“ Harper ,” he mocked gently. “Come on. You’re holding us up. Climb on.”
How had this turned into my life? Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind and jumped onto his back.
Xander grunted softly. His hands came down under my legs and hitched me higher on his back. “Christ. I think you weigh less than my backpack. If I hadn’t seen it myself, I’d ask you if you eat.”
“Hey! No food shaming allowed.”
“I wasn’t. I’m just wondering how you can eat so much and stay so fucking light. It bends the rules of physics.”
I laughed and buried my face in his back. “You’re ridiculous.”
Xander jogged lightly, making up the distance between us and the rest of the guys faster than I would’ve been able to on foot. Although given the length of his legs, that wasn’t a big feat.
“I gotta say.” Noah laughed as we stopped next to him in line. “This is the weirdest foreplay I think I’ve ever seen. Nice backpack, Xan.”
“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” I narrowed my eyes at my possibly former friend.
Noah shrugged. “Girl on top is my favorite position.”
“Oh puke.” I groaned. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Noah mocked.
I opened my mouth then closed it with a snap. There was no way I was saying what was on my mind. The guys didn’t need to know that.
We passed through immigration and customs with little drama. The guys were old hat at international travel and knew better than to try certain shenanigans. Also it was day one of the tour. Who knew how long their best behavior would last?
Before we exited the terminal, Xander pulled me aside.
“Do you have your sunglasses in here?” He pawed through the opening in his bag that gave him access to mine.
“Yeah, here let me—”
“Never mind. I found them.” He held them out to me. “Here, put them on.”
As he busied himself with the zippers, I slid my glasses on. Since it was raining, I didn’t know why we were bothering, but I’d long learned that if I didn’t really care, it was just easier to give in. I didn’t need to win the argument to know that I was right.
“Okay.” Xander hoisted his bag back onto his shoulder and faced me. I couldn’t read his eyes since he wore his sunglasses too. “Keep ahold of my hand. Don’t look directly at the flashes and try to keep a smile on your face no matter what they shout at you. Whatever you do, don’t let go of me.”
My eyes widened. I hadn’t given any thought to this part of “dating” Xander Lang. Usually I was sitting in the limo, watching from afar as the media scrum that came with being a rock star played out.
Now I got to be in the middle of it.
Yay.
Ugh.
“That doesn’t look like a smile to me.”
I snorted. “It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Maybe you should practice.”
I sighed. Then gave him a maniacal grin. “Like this?”
“Perfect. Love it. Let’s join the rest of the guys.”
I laughed as my insane grin didn’t even faze him. But I could see the slight smile curving his lips that I just knew didn’t have anything to do with his game face for the paps waiting outside. That was all due to me.
The rest of our group were standing in an alcove with security. Once we joined them, the group moved en masse to the marked exit doors.
Of course since we were trying to ensure a sold out show, our location had been oh so helpfully leaked to the media.
As soon as the doors slid open, we were met with a wall of sound. The crowd roared, and I couldn’t pick out any one question at first. Lights flashed, and I held tightly to Xander’s hand. It was disorienting, like some weird fever dream.
We were about ten feet from the cars when the questions filtered through the hysteria.
“Xander! Who’s yer girl?”
“Blondie! Look over here!”
“Christ, he’s robbing the cradle with that one! Over here!”
My cheeks were on fire as I ducked into the waiting car. Since we were the last, as soon as Xander cleared the door, it shut, and we zoomed away.
I settled onto the bench seat and tried to act like I wasn’t fazed by all that.
Something told me I wasn’t fooling anyone.
“Just breathe, Harper.” Noah jostled my shoulder. “You did good, kid.”
“Thanks?” I didn’t feel like I had a handle on anything. It was my job to be unflappable. I was the responsible one. The one always in control. But I felt so out of sorts. To go from my panic attack from the plane landing to a media circus in thirty minutes was disorienting as hell. “I need a drink.”
“Fuck yeah!” Noah cheered. “She’s one of us.”
“One of us. One of us,” Xander chanted robotically.
“Bring on the drinks!” Noah hollered.
I laughed, shaking my head. “I didn’t really mean it. Unlike you fools, I have actual work to do today.”
“Boo!” everyone yelled around me.
“How quickly they turned on you,” Shay laughed further down the bench seat. “But I thought today was a down day since it’s a travel day.”
“It’s a down day for you all.” I sighed heavily as I came down from the adrenaline rush. “Not me.”
“I hereby declare it a down day for you too,” Wes’ voice came from the front of the car, and I jolted.
Dammit. How had I forgotten that my boss was here?
I shook my head. “Oh, you don’t have to—”
“I insist. My departure time is after Marisol’s arrival so I’ll coordinate a few things with her while you take a well-deserved day off.” Wes sighed and stared down at the carpet under our feet. “I think it’s the least I can do.”
A heavy weight sank down on my shoulders. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but given our audience I couldn’t. But it wasn’t Wes’ fault. He was so hard on himself. And the guilt I felt over my lie was starting to niggle at my conscience.
Instead, I just twitched my lips into a semblance of a smile. “Thanks, Wes. I appreciate it.”
The chatter picked up in the limo. Noah was daring Jesse to get a tattoo about something, but I missed the details. And Shay and Ella were talking about local attractions they were eager to see. Xander, as usual, was quiet and stoic beside me.
Wes slid down the seat and hunched forward so we could talk in semi-privacy.
“Just so you know, I fixed the hotel bookings. And please, if they need to change back—for any reason—” He sent a stern look to Xander. “Just let me or Marisol know. There will be no judgement on our end. Ever.”
“Oh.”
Oh no.
What could I say to that? We were going to share a hotel room for the whole tour? My stomach sank into my toes. I could barely tell you the color of Xander’s eyes. And now we were going to be sharing a bathroom? Sleeping in the same room?
The same bed?
Oh god.
“Thanks, Wes. We appreciate that.”
What? We do?
I turned to look at Xander, but he was still in a stare-down with Wes.
What the hell was going on? Had all the men in my life gone insane?
Finally Wes sat back with a grunt. “You’re welcome. Harper, I’ll text you Marisol’s contact info since she’ll be your number two. She won’t land until later this afternoon. Until then, I don’t want to hear a word of you working.”
“But—”
“Enjoy your day off in Belfast. I hear the Titanic Museum is good. Or hell, hire a car to take you out to Giant’s Causeway. Get out there and live. You’re too young to be so focused on work. I promise you it won’t impact your job or our working relationship. We’re good. Go live, kiddo.”
The car had fallen silent sometime during Wes’ impassioned lecture, and I felt so exposed. Instead of answering, I just jerked my head in a nod.
Wes turned to Tyler and soon they were deep into a conversation about merch.
I couldn’t even work up extra embarrassment that Tyler had heard all of that. I was still swimming under the weight of everyone else’s stares.
“Damn.” Noah laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone being threatened with a good time. I thought it was just an expression.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and slid closer to Xander and away from Noah. “Don’t think I’m happy with you, jerkface. This is all your fault.”
“Again, I’m struggling to see the problem. You got promoted, an extra vacation day, and upgraded to a suite. What’s the downside?”
“Seriously?” I hissed. I turned to Xander. “How does he not get it?”
Xander shrugged. “I’d say he was dropped on his head as a baby, but his parents don’t seem to be the type. They’re pretty great actually. Maybe he ate lead paint or something as a child.”
“Have you seen that Simpsons episode where they pull the crayon out of Homer’s brain?” Jesse raised his eyebrows as he sat with his arm around Ella on the other side of the car. “Pretty sure it was something like that.”
“Whatever.” Noah yawned and stretched his arms overhead. “You guys just don’t understand perfection when you see it.”
“Um, hello?” Chase waved before jerking a thumb at his wife. “Saw it, claimed it, and locked that shit down.”
Jesse waved a hand over his girlfriend. “Ditto.”
Xander scoffed. “That doesn’t count, Jesse. You knew Ella for like twenty years before you locked her down.”
“What can I say?” Jesse shrugged. “I’m a slow learner.”
“Aww.” Ella laughed as she cupped Jesse’s cheek and turned his head toward her. “I still love you, Jesse. Even if you are a little slow.”
“Maybe have him take an IQ test before you agree to breed with him, though.” Noah blinked a few times exaggeratedly. “Just for your own peace of mind.”
“Breed?” Chase groaned dramatically. “That’s fucking disgusting, man. That’s my sister.”
Meanwhile, Ella gave Jesse a secret little smile, and the next thing I knew the two of them were kissing.
I sighed and sank into Xander’s side as I watched them for a second. They really were too cute.
Then I had to look away as they were edging into inappropriate.
Xander’s hand coasted over my thigh and grabbed my hand, giving it a little squeeze.
In the background, Chase was yelling at Jesse for groping his sister in front of him, but all I could do was stare into Xander’s mellow brown eyes.
Right up until the car stopped in front of our hotel.