Chapter 16
Xander
I knew she was gone before I opened my eyes. My arms were empty, and my personal space heater was long gone. Unlike days past when she’d stumbled around and slammed doors, this time I couldn’t tell you when she’d woken up or left, but judging by the cool sheets next to me, it was a while ago.
Maybe it was for the best? Hard to have an awkward morning after when the other person wasn’t there.
But honestly, I didn’t know what to think about Harper. I’d always been quick to put people in categories. And until recently, Harper had been in the ‘professional relationship’ category. I didn’t fuck around with people who had control over my career. Even when she’d been an assistant tour manager, she’d had control over large parts of my life—probably more than I’d ever even thought of. Usually, the idea of blurring these lines would have me pissed off at myself. But today I wasn’t.
Today I was happy.
I bounded downstairs for breakfast to see what the guys were up to and to maybe get a peek of my girl. Because she was my girl. Previously pretend and now for real.
“You’re sounding mighty chipper for nine AM,” Jesse grumbled behind me in line for the buffet.
I shrugged as I handed him the spoon for the eggs. I hadn’t even noticed that I’d been whistling. “What’s not to like? We’re in Ireland. My ex is in another hotel. I don’t have to sing a stupid love song with her. And we have a kickass concert to prep for.”
Jesse grunted something in reply that I couldn’t make out. He wasn’t exactly a morning person. Hell, who was? Usually we were up ‘til sunrise partying the night before.
“Didn’t you hear?” Chase butted in with a smirk. “Our man Xander here is a hero.”
“I don’t think wearing Captain America underoos makes you a superhero.” Jesse snorted as he ladled eggs on his plate. “I think you have to have secret powers or whatever.”
“Fuck off.” I shook my head and piled my plate high with blood sausage. The name was horrible, but this shit was good. “And for the record, they’re not Captain America. They’re Star Wars.”
“Right. Sci-Fi, not comic book. ‘Cause that’s totally different.” Jesse smirked before fake coughing over his, “ nerd .”
“It’s Sci-Fi Stud , thank you very much.” I threw my hair back with a toss of my head like a diva. Then I spotted something on the buffet. “Oooh, soda bread.”
“Nah, this doesn’t have anything to do with his underoos.” Chase laughed. “Apparently Xander saved Harper from a mugging, then heroically carried her a mile to the hotel after she twisted her ankle.”
I snorted as I carried my plate to a nearby table and sat down. And since we were the only three in the room, I gave them the real story. “Nope, no mugger. And no twisted ankle either. We were just in a big hurry to get back to the room, if you know what I mean .”
“Pretty sure a blind mute could get that message.” Chase shook his head.
“Wait, wait.” Jesse slid his plate onto the table next to me. “Since when are you into privacy?”
“I’d guess since he got with Harper because he managed to keep that under the radar,” Chase snarked before shoveling runny eggs into his piehole.
“That makes sense.” Jesse crunched on some toast for a second then waved it toward me. “How’s that work? Do you just not do the things you like because you’re with her? What’s the point of that?”
“Yeah, we’re not dissecting my bedroom habits at nine AM.” I took a swig of my tomato juice. “Or ever, really.”
“Come on. We’re besties. We made a pact, remember?” Jesse held out his pinkie finger in my face and blinked exaggeratedly.
“No, Jesse!” I hollered as a woman came into the room to check on the food. “I don’t care if it’s red and swollen. I don’t wanna see it. Go to a doctor, for Christ’s sake!”
She turned bright red and all but ran from the room.
Chase and I burst into laughter, but Jesse just shrugged and shoveled more eggs into his mouth.
“Like I give a shit,” he mumbled around his full mouth before swallowing. “I’m not looking, now that I have Ella. And I can guarantee you nothing is red, but it does get swollen constantly around Ella.”
“For fuck’s sake!” Chase huffed. He picked up his plate and stomped to another table on the other side of the room. Slamming down his plate, he glared at Jesse. “I don’t want to hear that shit, you sick fuck!”
“He’s so easy to needle.” Jesse snorted.
I nodded. “He’s like a child sometimes.” Then I hollered to Chase, “Come on, man. Grow up. Ella is a fucking adult with bodily autonomy. We’re not teenagers anymore.”
“Doesn’t mean I wanna hear that.” He stabbed his fork in Jesse’s direction.
I turned back to Jesse. “At this rate, I figure he’ll be okay with you guys by the time you have grandchildren.”
Jesse shrugged like he didn’t give a shit and shoveled more food in. “So what’s the deal with you and Harper?”
“What?” I suddenly took a huge interest in my food. “We’re together.”
He snorted. “You say that like I don’t know what you were up to at the end of our last leg. I know for a fact you went to Euphoria in Seattle while Harper was at the baseball game with us. So don’t give me that line of bullshit.”
“We’re together now . That’s all that matters.” I hunched my shoulders.
“Just…don’t fuck around on her. Harper is an awesome chick. She deserves the best.”
Why was it everyone’s assumption that I was going to fuck things up? “Don’t you have your hands full with Ella? How about you stay out of my relationship and worry about your own.”
“Harper’s a friend. She’s become one of Ella’s best friends. She has people here who care about her. Don’t fuck her over, and we won’t have a problem. Be a fucking adult and breakup with her before you go on one of your binges.”
I shoved away from the table. “It’s nice to know what you assholes really think of me. Fuck you very much.”
“Xan!” Jesse shouted at my retreating back. But I didn’t stick around to listen to whatever he was going to spew next.
I stomped into the lobby and spotted Tyler standing at the front desk. Another asshole I didn’t want to spend time with. Dammit. It was too early in the tour to be this annoyed by everyone. Hunching my shoulders, I fast walked behind him and I thought I was clear when he shouted my name.
“Xander! Wait up!”
Great. Turning around, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to jog up to me.
“Hey, have you seen Harper?”
I blinked. That wasn’t what I’d thought he wanted to talk about. “No. Uh, she slipped out of bed kinda early this morning.”
Tyler did a slow blink. “Right. Forgot you two were together for a second there. Thanks for reminding me.”
“Kinda hard to pee in a circle around her when she’s not physically here. Besides, aren’t you with one of the Montoya twins?”
“No.” He paused again and gave me another long look. “I’m representing them. As their manager. I decided to branch out and take on a few lower tier talent projects.”
Now it was my turn to give him a slow blink. Lower tier? Fuck, that was brutal. “You’ve just been linked with them a lot. We all had bets going on which one you were with. Noah had a grand on it being both, if that makes you feel any better.”
“They’re twenty-two. Nice to know what you all really think about me.”
I hitched a shoulder. It couldn’t have been a big surprise. Once a tool…
“Right. Thanks for that. Anyhow, give Harper my congrats when you see her.”
Tyler had moved to leave when I asked, “Congrats for what?”
“She didn’t tell you? Harper is now a partner at Black Hat Productions. Wes sent me a copy of the signed paperwork this morning.”
“Well, damn.” I rocked back on my heels as a huge grin stretched across my face. “That’s fucking fantastic news! We’re gonna have to celebrate.”
Tyler gave me a half smile. “She deserves it. She’s a fantastic woman. You caught yourself a good one. Finally.”
I scoffed. Nice of him to hit me on the chin with a subtle Kelly dig. Douche. “Right. Fantastic. Thanks. I’ll pass that along.”
“You do that. And uh, have you seen Noah lately?”
“What? Am I everyone’s keeper all the sudden? What the fuck, Ty?”
“He’s not answering his phone or his door, and I need to talk to him.”
I huffed an annoyed breath. “He wasn’t at breakfast just now, and I haven’t seen him since Harper and I got back to the hotel last night.”
“Right. When you saved the world and Harper’s virtue from a mugger.” The disbelief in his voice was clear. And grating.
“Whatever. Noah was on his way out last night around eleven maybe. He probably just got in late and is sleeping in. You know how he gets.”
“That’s just it. He’s being…” Tyler paused as a hotel employee walked past us. He waited until the guy was gone before continuing. “He’s been partying pretty hard lately. I think something’s up.”
I nodded tightly. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I’d had a few concerns of my own toward the end of our last tour leg. But the fact that Tyler had picked up on it had me worried. After everything I’d gone through with Liam, I couldn’t do it again with Noah. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I knew you were the one to talk to about this.”
“That’s me, Mr. Dependable.”
“Exactly.” Tyler pointed a finger at me as he walked away. “Give me a shout if he gives you any drama. Later.”
Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Any concerns I had about Noah I was taking straight to Noah and then to the rest of the band. Tyler would be the very last stop on my concern tour.
I pulled out my phone, and tapped on Noah’s contact. The line rang and rang before dumping me out into voicemail. I sent him a quick text, but if he wasn’t answering my call, he definitely wouldn’t be seeing my text anytime soon.
So I opened the ‘Find Friends’ app and zeroed in on Noah’s location. It showed the Hiberian Hotel. So he was here. Somewhere. Most likely passed out in his room like I wanted to be. Or someone else’s room? I didn’t even know who he was hooking up with lately, that was how out of the loop I was.
I dropped my head back with a groan. I really didn’t want to play babysitter, but I also didn’t want to live with the knowledge I could’ve prevented something horrible from happening.
Just then, Jesse and Chase entered the lobby from the conference room with about ten feet still separating them. Rolling my eyes at their continued juvenile bullshit, I crossed the lobby to them. “Hey guys, wait up!”
Neither one turned around. They kept walking toward the elevators. I huffed in annoyance and jogged after them. “Come on, douches. You can’t ignore me forever!”
Jesse pushed the elevator button while Chase stood ten feet away with his hands in his pockets. Both ignoring the other.
Christ.
The elevator pinged, the doors slid open, and Jesse stepped inside. I tagged Chase around the collar and shoved him into the elevator.
“What the fuck, asshole!” Chase brushed off his leather jacket with exaggerated care. “This is Gucci.”
“Have either of you assholes seen Noah?” I asked, ignoring Chase’s tantrum.
“Not since the ride here,” Jesse said.
“Me neither,” Chase agreed.
I sighed. “Tyler has been looking for him. I think we might have a problem.”
“With Tyler or Noah?” Jesse asked with a frown.
“Noah. Still the same shit with Tyler. But he’s worried about Noah and he’s passing the baton to me since I’m the resident den mother.”
“I thought that was Harper’s job.” Chase blinked.
The elevator binged and the doors slid open on our floor.
“Not funny, dipshit,” Jesse snapped as he stepped off the elevator. “Harper is our fucking tour manager and deserves some goddamn respect. Way more than Wes, since she’s never screwed us over and has practically been doing his job way before her promotion.”
I crossed my arms over my chest with a smirk. It was satisfying as hell to hear Jesse stand up for my woman.
Fuck. My woman? Were we really there already?
While I was contemplating my whatever with Harper (I was not ready to call it a relationship) the conversation in the hall had somehow devolved to another argument between Dumb and Dumber.
“Christ, if you kept your head in the game and out of your wife’s thighs, you’d know what the fuck is going on.”
I scrubbed my face with my hands. I was surrounded by children.
“Don’t you fucking talk about my wife!” Chase roared as he jumped Jesse.
Then it was just a tangle of arms and leather and boots.
“Fuck.”
I reached down and attempted to pull Chase free, but they rolled over, making it impossible.
“Fucker.”
“Asshole.”
“She’s my wife. Ugh.” Thump, thump . “How the fuck do you still have a problem with her?”
“I don’t! I have a problem with narrow-minded asswipes.”
“What the hell is going on out here?” Noah yelled.
I whirled around and found our drummer standing in his doorway, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his blond hair poking up every which way. Judging by his bloodshot eyes, Noah had had a late night. He looked like shit, honestly. But he didn’t have obvious jitters or tremors like I’d seen with Liam when he got bad.
“These two are up to their usual bullshit. He’s mad Chase is spending so much time with his wife,” I said, pointing to Jesse. Then I pointed to Chase. “And he’s mad Jesse is fucking his sister.”
“So, nothing new,” Noah grumbled as he scrubbed at his red eyes. “Glad you fuckers wanted to share this lovely moment on my doorstep so fucking early in the morning.”
“It’s after eleven.” I snuck a peek at the time on my phone. “And we have to leave for practice in thirty minutes.”
“What practice?” Noah moaned. “Soundcheck is tomorrow. We don’t have shit on the calendar today. I was planning on sleeping until you fools showed up.”
“That’s probably why Tyler was trying to get ahold of you,” I muttered to myself. “Didn’t you read any of the group texts? We have to practice with the she-demon today. She wasn’t happy with our sound last night.”
“Fuck that. She doesn’t control my fucking life.” He stepped back into his room. “I’m going back to sleep.”
I slapped my hand against his door, holding it open. “But Harper does,” I shouted at his retreating back. “And she’s called a rehearsal for today. So get your shit together and get your ass downstairs. Car leaves in thirty. Don’t make me come looking for you!”
I turned back into the hall and let Noah’s door slam shut. The two other fools were sprawled on their backs, panting heavily. “You two assholes done? I can’t believe you keep having the same fight over and over. He’s married—deal with it. He’s with your sister—deal with it. I don’t have time for this bullshit.”
Chase huffed. “What’s crawled up his ass?”
“I don’t know.” Jesse groaned, clutching his side. “I think you got me in the rib though, asshole.”
“If you weren’t screwing my sister, I wouldn’t have to keep teaching you the same lesson.”
I rolled my eyes as I stepped over his prone body and headed for my room.
Children. I was surrounded by children.
* * *
The feeling didn’t go away as we showed up to the venue for practice. Only now Kelly had entered the juvenile chat.
“I know the truth,” she hissed at me when I entered our makeshift practice room.
Since the crew was still sorting out the stage and sound equipment, they’d cobbled together one of the meeting rooms backstage as a practice space. Noah’s drums were set up on the far side and our guitars were set out.
“Good for you,” I muttered. I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about, but maybe if I patted her head, she’d go away.
“You and Harper aren’t a couple. You’re faking it to throw off the media.”
I laughed. Bent at the waist and laughed my ass off.
I didn’t know why that hit my funny bone today. If she’d said the same thing yesterday, I would’ve been annoyed. It didn’t feel fake anymore. It felt like the furthest thing from fake.
“It’s not funny. You two aren’t a couple. You never hold hands. You don’t kiss. Not. A. Couple. I see through your bullshit.”
I laughed again. “That’s really fucking rich coming from you. I don’t have to prove anything to you. You’re not my girlfriend. The only reason you’re standing here right now is because our manager is a greedy asshole. I don’t give a shit what you think.”
“Xander! Hey.” Harper burst into the room, looking frazzled—headset askew on her head, her hair tousled, and no makeup. And yet she still looked gorgeous. “Where’s the rest of the guys?”
“I hitched a ride with some crew ahead of the car. Noah didn’t read his texts, so he was still eating breakfast. They should be here soon.”
“What?” Kelly shrieked behind us. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Maybe if you’d behaved like a normal person and didn’t attack me the second I walked in here, I might have. But that’s doubtful, since I don’t ever think about you.”
Kelly narrowed her eyes at me while Harper pursed her lips like she was holding in what she really wanted to say. Knowing my girl, she probably wanted to scold me.
Turning to Harper, I wrapped an arm around her waist. “Congrats by the way. Tyler told me the news this morning.”
“What news?” Kelly yelled behind us.
I ignored her and wrapped my other arm around Harper. “We’ll have to celebrate tonight.”
“It’s not that big a deal,” Harper murmured, looking down and not at me.
I tipped her chin up and made her meet my eyeline. “It’s a big thing, Ms. Black Hat Partner. I guess this means you get to boss me around on tour and in the bedroom.”
Harper huffed a laugh. “No one can boss you around anywhere.”
I bent down and pressed a kiss against her lips then murmured, “I’d let you boss me anywhere, anytime.”
“I don’t care,” Kelly hissed from somewhere behind us. “Still can’t make me believe it’s real. Fake as fuck. It’s sad, really.”
We ignored her and I kissed Harper again because I was feeling it. And it totally had nothing to do with the harpy behind us. Mostly.
“Is no place safe?” Chase asked from behind Harper.
I sighed and let her slip out of my arms.
“I swear, if it’s not you two being all over each other, it’s this one doing it to my sister. It’s like some communicable disease or something.” Chase stomped over to the stool in the middle of the room and flopped down. “Everyone’s fucking horny.”
Jesse grinned as he passed us by. “He’s just jealous because Shay was scolding him in the limo on the way over about beating me up.”
“Nice of you boys to show up,” Kelly snarked. “My time is valuable, you know.”
Like us, Jesse ignored Kelly’s bullshit. “Yeah, Shay is team Jella.”
“Jella?” I laughed as I wrapped an arm around Harper, holding her close to me. “Is that your ‘ship name?”
Jesse shrugged as he strapped his bass on. “It was that or Elesse and you know how Ella feels about Frozen .”
Harper raised her hand like a girl in school. “Um, her name is Elsa though.”
Kelly made a muffled screech as everyone continued to ignore her.
“Close enough.” Jesse ran his fingers up and down his frets. “I didn’t want to piss my girl off by suggesting it. Unlike some people , I value my balls.”
“You okay, Noah?” Harper asked with a frown.
Noah braced himself in the doorframe like it was solely responsible for holding him up.
He pushed away from the door. “Yup. Just getting my bearings. Who’s ready to crash this?”
“Uh, I think you mean crush this?” I watched him closely as he crossed the room to his set.
“Potato, po-tah-to.” He picked up his sticks and touched each drum. “Hey, who wants to hit a chippy when we’re done here? I’d kill for some curry fries.”
He didn’t look much different than he usually did after a night out. No jitters. No wild arm waving like Liam had done on that last tour.
Hungover, sure. Strung out? I…didn’t think so. He just looked like he needed some sleep and Tylenol. And clearly some greasy food.
But I was going to keep an eye on him.