Chapter 33
Harper
Sandbar Club
Las Vegas, NV
For the tenth time that night, I pulled out my phone and read the text from my dad.
Dad : I do appreciate you meeting me today. But I think it’s best that any contact going forward be on your terms. I want to be in your life, but only if it’s best for you.
Dad : That said, if you’re still around tomorrow—and willing—my GA birthday is tomorrow and it’d mean the world to me if you came. 900 E Liberace Ave 10AM. Completely up to you, pumpkin.
The fact that he had the gall to invite me to his pinning ceremony or whatever when he’d missed both of my graduations was astounding.
What was even more astounding was the fact that I was considering it.
“Put the phone away, girlfriend.” Ella frowned next to me. “You better not be checking Bumble on our night out.”
“Nope,” Shay answered from my other side in our circular booth. We were on a balcony above the club floor so it made conversation and privacy much easier to have. “It’s that text from her dad again. She keeps reading it.”
“Oh, honey.” Ella shook her head.
“Take it from me.” Shay gestured widely with her martini glass, spilling her Lemon Drop all over the table. “Toxic family needs firm boundaries. You gotta tell them how much you want or don’t want them in your life. You can’t just be a doormat. It never ends well.”
“Is it doormat-y to want to open the door a crack?” I asked through glimmery eyes. Damn tears. They were always at the ready lately. “He’s been out of my life for so long, and he really seems to be doing better this time. I was the one who couldn’t get over past wrongs.”
“It’s really up to you.” Ella gave me a sad smile. “We can’t answer that for you.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you have a lot of awesome people in your life. So if he turns out not to be one of the awesome ones, you’ll have plenty to lean on.”
“Thanks, I think.” I laughed at Shay. “That almost made sense.”
Shay gestured with her glass again, spilling the little that was left. “Hey, if you got something from it, that’s all that matters.” She tipped her glass to her lips then pouted when nothing came out. “Dang it. I drank it all already. Hyde! Hyde! We need another round! Hyde!”
“Just wondering,” Ella leaned over and whispered loudly to me while Shay gestured to our mostly full drinks. “How much can you bench press? Because Shay looks small, but she’s pretty sturdy.”
I frowned. “I thought that’s what we brought Hyde and Walker for.”
Ella nodded sagely. “I like how you think.”
I nodded back, but all I could think was that I was way more sober than these two. When had I fallen behind?
“I love this song!” Shay screeched as ‘ Corruption’ pulsed through the club below us.
I’d only been in the VIP section of a club a few times before—always in the company of the band, and hearing their songs playing had always been so cool before. A testament to their work and mine.
But it was cruel now. Hearing Xander’s voice layering beneath Chase’s in the chorus sliced me wide open.
Shay and Ella grinned at each other like the drunken fools they were. They didn’t even notice me cringing in the middle of our booth. I swallowed my whole drink in one long gulp. Which was actually handy, as Hyde showed up with our next round, Walker standing behind him with a trio of waters and a stern expression.
I grabbed a water from Walker and sipped it to wash away the sugary muck my lemon drop rim left in my mouth.
“Come on! Let’s dance!” Shay shouted, pushing up from our table.
I groaned. I thought this was supposed to be my night. How could they not know that listening to—let alone dancing to—Tin Gods music was so freaking painful for me?
But my friends were oblivious. Ella grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the booth after her.
We had our own private balcony above the club’s dancefloor, and it was safe to say I hadn’t been paying attention to anything going on down below. I wasn’t a big DJ follower—live music or nothing as far as I was concerned.
The crowd roared.
Standing at the railing, I saw some movement on the stage as three guys crossed to stand at the mics set up.
Oh shit.
I didn’t have to have the best view to know whose rolling gait that was.
There was only one man who made my heart pound like this.
The house music cut out, and the guys picked up the beat effortlessly.
The crowd roared even louder. Bodies pressed against the stage and security came out to tame the unruly assholes.
But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Xander didn’t even pause or look down at the insanity going on in front of him. Somehow, despite the dim balcony and the shining spotlight on him, his eyes effortlessly found me.
That smug ass smirk curled his lips as he leaned into his mic and sang the chorus along with Chase. But he never once looked away from me. Not when a woman in the front row took off her top. Not when she shook her impressive boobs in front of him. And not when security yanked her off the floor.
He stared at me in the balcony the entire time.
As the song wound down, the DJ at the other end of the club shouted, “Give it up for the Tin Gods!”
The crowd roared again, raising their arms over their heads with their phones recording.
“Thanks, Vegas!” Chase said into his mic. “And thank you, DJ Cap, for letting us hijack your show. Hope you enjoy the brief break.”
The DJ held up two fingers. “And the Krug you guys sent over. Much appreciated.”
“No doubt, no doubt.” Chase grinned then turned to the crowd again. “As I’m sure you all heard our drummer, Noah, had some problems he had to take care of, so we’ve highjacked Kelly Evers’ drummer, Ian Slater. Give it up for Ian!”
The crowd roared again, but I felt a pang at the hole Noah’s absence left in me and on the stage.
Like he’d had the same sensation, Chase tipped his head at Ian and said, “As much as we appreciate Ian, it’s only for tonight. Noah will be back with us as soon as he’s healthy again. But we had a kind of emergency. A rock and roll emergency, if you will.”
The crowd roared.
“Hell yeah!”
“Rock on!”
“Marry me, Xander!”
“That’s the problem.” Jesse pointed at the horny fan. “But maybe we should let Xander explain it himself.”
“Thanks, assholes.” Xander shook his head while the crowd cheered. “All right, all right. Relax. It’s said with love. These assholes know that.”
The guys on stage laughed, and the audience laughed along. I found myself smiling too, despite the tears in my eyes.
“I don’t think it’s news to any of our fans that Noah’s struggles hit close to home for me. My brother…” Xander shook his head. “My brother struggled when he was on the road with us, too. But he’s been sober for two years now.”
Chase and Jesse clapped and after a second, the audience joined in.
“I’m fucking proud of him too. It’s hard as hell to kick that habit, so seeing my other brother go through the same struggle ripped me up inside. And I might’ve said some stupid shit to the person I love.”
“Pretty sure that might’ve is a definitely ,” Jesse murmured into his mic.
Xander flipped him off without even looking his way. “I definitely said shit I shouldn’t have to the woman I love most of all. So we arranged this hijacked show so I could tell my woman how I really feel about her.”
The lights went out and the audience roared again.
I couldn’t look away from the stage. I know I should’ve been pissed that the girls did what I’d explicitly said not to. But I was spellbound.
A spotlight came on illuminating Xander standing in the middle of the stage with his guitar slung in front of him. He stared straight at me in the balcony and sang a song I’d only heard bits and pieces of weeks ago.
Tears blurred my vision as I clasped my hands over my mouth.
Oh my god. This man.
This man was everything .
That ballad was everything.
Some women could say that their man loved them. Heard them say the words.
But Xander had just performed them in front of a couple hundred people and their cell phones. Other people would sing the lyrics he’d written for me about his feelings for me.
Tears rolled unabashedly down my cheeks.
I loved him so much.
The final strains of his guitar rang out and the crowd cheered. I wiped my cheeks and grinned down at him. He smiled back at me.
Then the lights went out again, plunging the club into total darkness.
Two seconds later, the lights came on again and the stage was empty with only the amps and drum kit still onstage.
“Thank you, Tin Gods, for that super-secret show that even I didn’t know about!” DJ Cap yelled into his mic. “Let’s get back to partying, Sandbar!”
I turned back to our table, but it was empty.
Walker stepped out of the shadows of the club. “The girls wanted to give you and Xander a chance to talk privately. He’ll be up in a minute. But if you don’t want to talk to him, we can leave now.”
My eyes widened. I don’t know what I’d expected him to say, but it definitely wasn’t that.
“I have a daughter.” Walker tipped his head. “Just because an asshole says he’s sorry, doesn’t mean you have to forgive him.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I was still laughing when Xander popped in from the private entrance.
“Nice to hear that ringing endorsement of me, Walk.” He clapped Walker on the shoulder as he walked by him.
But Walker didn’t reply. He just raised his eyebrows in silent question.
I shook my head. “I’ll stay and listen to what he has to say.”
Walker tipped his head in acknowledgement and stepped back into the darkness. No doubt guarding the VIP entrance for us.
“You know that I pay his wage?” Xander hooked a thumb over his shoulder in the direction that Walker had disappeared in. “Nice to know what he really thinks of me.”
“Nice to know that he’s a standup guy and not just a paid lackey.”
“Well fuck. Now I sound like an asshole.”
I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips. He said it, not me.
I walked away and slipped into the booth.
Xander’s head fell forward, but after a beat he followed me and slipped into the booth from the opposite end, leaving a sea of space between us. He folded his hands on top of the table. “I don’t even know where to start. I’m an asshole, for one. I know that.”
I opened my mouth to disagree when he shook his head.
“No. I’m not going to let you argue about how I had a reason or it was a crazy situation. I was an ass. I shouldn’t have taken my emotions out on you. You weren’t the one I was pissed at and I was wrong.”
“I, uh, appreciate that. But I still think I should’ve done more. I should’ve come to you guys the second I had suspicions.”
Xander smiled sadly. “Noah is an adult. He’s the only one who had control of his body and what he chose to do to it. That’s not on you.”
“I still feel so responsible. I spent all that time in England trying to catch him. Watching him. But I never had any proof, and I was afraid of what it’d mean if I was wrong. And I was afraid of what would happen if I was right.”
“Noah knew what was at stake. He thought he could handle it.” Xander paused and shook his head. “Really, he didn’t care. He just wanted to forget about his dad and the fear and anxiety. He wanted an escape, and he chose drugs to do it. That’s not on you.”
“I still feel guilty.”
“I could recommend some places for you to go to talk about it if you want.” He looked down and traced his finger over the table for a moment. “Tyler hooked me up with Al-Anon, and it’s really helped put things in perspective. With Liam and Noah, I have more than my share of baggage on the subject.”
“Yeah, maybe. I do have a lot of guilt inside me over…everything. I really am so sorry. I should’ve come to you sooner. Told you my worries. That’s what partners are supposed to do.”
“And I’m sorry you didn’t think you could. Part of that is on me too. But all of what happened after was on me. What I yelled at you. How I acted in the waiting room. Me not talking to you for weeks. Ignoring all your calls and texts.” He shook his head. “I should’ve done better. I was so mad at you for doing the exact same thing I did. You deserve better. And I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.”
Xander smiled and reached across the table to hold my hands. “Now that we’ve established that we’re both sorry sons of bitches, you feel like getting out of here?”
“Are we seriously not going to talk about the epic ballad you just serenaded me and all of Vegas with?”
“Does that mean that you like your song?” He grinned at me.
“Like it? I fucking love it. I can’t believe you did that. Wrote a song for me. Convinced all the guys to come here and sing it to me. That’s, I can’t…” I shook my head. “It meant the world to me. I’m not good with words like you are. I don’t have some epic gesture to prove my love to you. But I do. I love you so fucking much.”
I don’t know what I’d expected Xander to do after my weak attempt at an epic love gesture.
But it sure as hell wasn’t what actually happened.
Xander full on dove across the booth, straight over the table. Glasses crashed to the ground. Spilled over the table, onto both Xander and me, but neither of us cared. He bellyflopped on the bench behind me, came up on his knees, clasped my face in his hands and kissed me.
He kissed me like he needed the air I breathed.
He kissed me until we were both breathless and horny as hell.
He kissed me despite Walker crashing into our space, scanning for threats and maybe worried about me.
With a groan, Xander broke our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. “Now can we get out of here? Please?”
“What do you mean?” I blinked at him innocently. “I thought exhibition was your thing.”
He snorted a soft laugh. “It is, but having pictures plastered all over the tabs is not . Neither is getting arrested for public indecency.”
“Again,” Walker covered with a cough as he walked back to the scrambling staff who wanted to clean up our mess.
I flushed with embarrassment. It felt like I’d been caught by my dad for some reason. Which reminded me.
“Got any plans tomorrow morning? There’s this thing I kinda think I should go to.”
“Anything for you, angel.”
And just like that everything was right in my world. I’d found my home. And it was with Xander—wherever Xander was.
* * *
The next morning, I stepped out of the car in the parking lot of a scuzzy strip mall in downtown Vegas. When my dad’s text had mentioned a pinning ceremony, this wasn’t what I’d expected.
But Xander didn’t look concerned. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me to the small storefront that’d been converted to meeting rooms.
When we entered, people were grouped around a spread of food on the far side of the room. I hadn’t told my dad that I was coming so he wasn’t expecting me. After a few seconds, I found him near the donuts talking to an older man.
My breath hitched in my chest.
He was here. This was really happening.
Was I ready for this? Letting him back into my life?
Maybe this was a mistake.
“We can go whenever you want,” Xander murmured in my ear.
And then I realized I wasn’t alone anymore. With Xander at my side, nothing was scary anymore.
I saw the second my father caught sight of me. A huge grin lit up his face, and he said something to the guys next to him before he practically flew across the room.
“You came! I mean, I know I invited you, but I didn’t think you’d come.”
I shifted my weight. Hearing the pure joy in his voice hit some dark spot inside me, but I pushed it down. “Well you said it was important to you. So here I am.”
“And I really, really appreciate that. I, uh, see you brought someone with you.”
“Yeah. Dad, this is my boyfriend, Xander. Xander this is my father, Victor.”
Dad grinned and offered his hand for a handshake. “Boyfriend. Sounds like there’s a lot of catching up we have to do. You can call me Vic.”
“Nice to meet you, Vic.” Xander shook his hand.
“The fact that you can say that makes me wonder how well you really know my little girl here.” He moved to end the handshake, but Xander hung on.
“Ah, well, I was saying that to be polite.” Xander’s voice dropped to a harsh whisper. “But if we’re laying all our cards on the table, I’ll just say that we’re here as long as Harper wants to be here. The second she’s uncomfortable or you make her uncomfortable we’re out. So maybe try to watch what you say. I have the power and the money to make shit really uncomfortable for you, if you catch my drift.”
“Xander,” I warned quietly. “That’s not what I want.”
Xander dropped my dad’s hand and took a step back. A large, fake smile lit his face up. “Just getting to know the players. And letting your dad know who you have in your corner. Now he knows you have a found family who loves you and only wants the best for you. Me most of all.”
Dad nodded slowly. His eyes darted from Xander to me then back to Xander. “I’m getting that. And if it means anything, I appreciate it. I’m glad Harper has someone in her life who’s not afraid to make waves and stand up for her. That’s all I ever wanted for my little girl. And something I’m still looking for.”
“Dad.” I stepped up to him and gave him a hug then murmured, “Maybe now that you’ve cleaned up your life, you’ll find it too.”
“That’s the dream, Harper. That’s the dream.” He took a step back and cleared his throat. “Uh, I think we’re going to be starting soon. But if you guys are still in town later maybe we can meet up? Maybe have lunch tomorrow? The guys are taking me out today, but I’m free after that.”
I smiled. “I’d like that, Dad.”
“Great. And maybe then you can fill me in on how you’re dating the best lead guitarist since Jimmy Page.”
He walked away while we were busy picking our jaws up off the ground. I had no idea he was a Tin Gods fan. Wow.
“That was a real kick to the nuts, huh?” Xander whispered to me.
We were both giggling as we took a seat in the back row, but calmed down somewhat when the meeting began. Then my dad took his one-year pin and said a few words about his journey and even thanked me specifically for coming to support him.
After it was over, we slipped out and were slapped in the face with a wave of Vegas heat despite it only being ten in the morning.
I sighed, holding Xander’s hand in mine as we followed a silent Walker to our car. “So what do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know.” Xander playfully swung my hand in step with us. “What do you want to do?”
“Well.” I tipped my head and looked at him side eyed. “I love you, and you love me… We’re in Vegas… Most of our found family is here…”
Xander pulled me to a stop and grinned down at me. “Really? You want to do that? Haven’t you heard about Vegas weddings? They almost always turn out to be a bad idea.”
“I don’t know. Chase and Shay seem to be bucking the trend. And they didn’t even know each other before they got married. Imagine how strong our marriage will be since we have a foundation under us.”
He sighed and let his head fall back. My heart crawled into my throat. Was I crazy? It didn’t feel crazy to me. I’d found my person. This felt right.
After a beat, he straightened and gave me a half smile. “Raincheck?”
Oh god. The combination of my heart freefalling and the Vegas heat made me sway. My vision tunneled. Oh god. This was so fucking embarrassing.
“No, it’s not that I wouldn’t. I totally would.”
Xander’s words brought me back from the brink.
He smiled sadly down at me. “But I want Noah and Liam to be there too. And my parents. They’d be heartbroken to miss out on my wedding. Believe me.” He shook his head. “I have too long of a guest list to ever do a quickie Vegas wedding. I want everyone I know and love to be there with us when I make you mine.”
“I kinda like the sound of that.”
“Fucking fantastic.” Xander grinned at me while he wrapped his arms around me. “But how about in the meantime, me and you go buy a ring? I wanna mark you as mine for forever.”
I tipped my head, schooling my expression as excitement raced through my bloodstream. “I like the sound of that, but I’m kinda disappointed by your lack of imagination.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I really thought you’d want to claim me in ink.”
“Ho-ho! Challenge accepted!” He swooped down, grabbed me, and lifted me in the traditional bridal carry, then I bounced in his arms as he raced toward a patiently waiting Walker.
“What? Wait!” I shouted. “I didn’t mean me! I don’t do tattoos!”
“Heh, sounds like you do now.”
And that was how I got my first tattoo. Xander’s initials, right above the biggest diamond ring I’d ever seen.
And all our friends stood around and giggled and teased him as Xander got mine on his ring finger along with the words ‘happily ever after,’ in large letters down his right arm. Pain be damned.