Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHARLEY
“What the fuck, Gabriel!” I have no idea why he’s shoved me into this room.
“What’s going on with Oscar?” he demands and it riles me up. I’m still pissed at him for asking about Oscar earlier.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“He was flirting with you.” He crosses his arms and leans back against the door.
“So what? After my breakup with Tony and Miles treating me like dirt it’s nice to have some attention, someone who seems to like me and tells me I have nice eyes.” I pace the room in front of him.
“Is that what he said?” he asks, and I whirl to face him and see his expression is almost painful.
“Seriously? I don’t remember what he said exactly. Are you going to let me go?” I go to push past him, to reach for the key, but he stops me, grabbing my forearms and holding me so we’re toe to toe, chests touching.
“You have the prettiest eyes of anyone I’ve ever seen.” His voice is a whisper dragged across gravel. This is not the Gabriel I know and it’s making me uncomfortable. I pull back, trying to wrench myself out of his hands, but he holds me tighter.
“Why are you being such a jerk?” I spit out and his face crumples.
“I have something to tell you. I should’ve told you before.” I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I want to push against his chest, beat my fists against him until he lets me go, but something in his voice stops me. A tone of desperation perhaps. I stop trying to escape and look at him.
“Very well, tell me, and then let me go.”
He drops his hands so he’s no longer holding me but I don’t move away.
“I’m bisexual.”
I stare at him, unable to process what he’s telling me. He takes a deep breath.
“I’m bisexual and I meant what I said about your eyes.”
I ignore the second half of that sentence because the implications of the first part are just sinking in. My arms are still raised from when he was holding me and I do thump him on the chest.
“How? What? Why? When?” I know these aren’t rational questions, but it’s all I can articulate right now.
“When I was about twenty, when I was at uni.”
I snap my head back to look at him fully.
“You’ve known you were bi since you were twenty and you’ve only just told me now?”
“I haven’t seen you since then, until a few weeks ago. I wanted to tell you, I really did, but then you told me about what had happened and that you had a strict rule about getting involved with people you worked for. I didn’t want to complicate things. I wanted us to be friends.”
“You still could’ve told me,” I say quietly. It’s a weak accusation and I get his reasoning, but I say it anyway.
“I didn’t even know you were gay, or bi, until you told me your story. How long have you known?” he asks, and I step back, needing to put some distance between us.
“Fourteen.” I can feel what’s coming but I’m not going to lie.
“Fourteen!” This time Gabriel starts pacing across the room. “Fourteen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was scared of what you might think.”
He has a right to be angry, but when he turns towards me it’s only hurt I see in his face.
“Charley, I’m your best friend. I would have been there for you, been an ally for you. Hell, it might even have helped me figure myself out sooner.” He gives a little huff that’s in no way funny.
“I nearly told you once when we were seventeen.” I sigh and sit down in one of the armchairs, suddenly unable to keep standing. Gabriel crouches in front of me, taking my hands.
“Why didn’t you?” he whispers.
“Can you remember that night, before you went back to Woodcoutts for your final year? We were listening to music in your bedroom.”
“Yeah, I remember.” He nods.
“I was going to tell you then.”
“But why didn’t you?”
“Because that’s the night you told me all about Celeste and how you were going to marry her. You seemed so full of excitement for the future.”
“But you still could’ve told me.” His brow creases into a frown.
“I wasn’t just going to tell you I was gay. I was going to confess my deepest secret. That I was in love with my best friend.” I feel the tears well up in my eyes at the memory, and I don’t stop them running down my face. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, but he tightens his hold on my hands.
“You’ve been in love with me since you were seventeen?” he rasps.
“No, Gabby,” I croak. “I fell in love with you the first moment we met. When you looked down at me from your horse, like some golden-haired knight who saved me from my grief and loneliness. I didn’t have words for it back then, but when I really understood myself, I knew it was then.”
Tears track down his cheeks, and he presses his lips together and swallows deeply, trying to hold it together.
I pull one of my hands free and lean forward, cupping his cheek and wiping away his tears.
He gives me a weak smile. I run my thumb across his bottom lip and see his breath hitch.
Slowly, I lean in further and press my lips to his.
They’re as soft as I imagined, and I take a moment to enjoy their feel before pulling back and resting my forehead against his.
My throat is thick and my own cheeks still damp.
“Since I’ve known I was bi, I’ve never met anyone who was like you. I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time too. It was why it took me so long to get in touch with you.” His voice shakes.
“I’m here now,” I say and kiss him again.
“What about Oscar?” he asks when we part this time.
“I’m not interested in Oscar. His attention was flattering but it’s nothing more.” I stand and pull Gabriel up with me.
“Oh, thank god. I couldn’t bear the thought of you two together.”
“I never thought you’d be the jealous type.”
“Only when it comes to you, baby. Jealous, possessive, all of it. If he weren’t Oliver’s brother, I think I would have hit him. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, I kinda love it,” I say, kissing him again before we make our way back to the party.