26. Mari
Leo’s prepared lunch wafted up appealingly, but my stomach wasn’t having it. There was an ever-present tension in my shoulders that had recently shifted to my gut, giving me an almost constant stomachache. Did the timing correlate to Leo and Vander’s reuniting? Yes. Did that make me an awful person? Maybe.
I sighed and pushed my lunch away.
It wasn’t that. I was glad that the two best friends had made up. Leo’s face lit up with joy when he’d replayed their conversation with me several weeks back. The fact that he was drumming with his former band was a bonus. He loved music, and it filled his soul. How could I be anything but thrilled for him?
Leo was as busy as me now. Coordinating my packed winter schedule with his band rehearsals and lessons with Cath meant I had to break down and finally get a new car. No more car rides or late nights at the recording studios. That independence I’d always said I wanted was returned to me but now it felt like loneliness.
All of us were getting what we had wanted when Janice approached me back at the start of the school year. Leo was out of the house. Cath was more prepared every day. Everything was going according to plan.
Eventually, my stomach would stop hurting.
“What’s that face about?” Clara asked as she slumped into the seat next to me in the teachers’ lounge.
“You’d think by now you’d realize this is just my face.”
“No. This is you pouting. Perhaps something you’d like to share with the class about a certain someone who’s almost never home these days?”
“Not anything I can share about why he’s not home.” I wasn’t sure if him helping The Burnouts was a secret, but it was safer to be vague on that subject. “We’re spending less time together. I was thinking about that.”
This subtle nagging sensation would go away as I got used to being without him as much. That was always the plan. It was never meant to last, but I thought we’d have more time. It wasn’t so bad. I only missed Leo in the mornings. Or in the evenings when the band practice went late. Or when I was so busy throughout the day, I could only respond to his corny dad jokes with that constipated-looking emoji. We still saw each other when I brought Cath up for their sessions. But we almost never had time together, especially not alone time. While superhot, our rushed make-outs in one of our cars made our relationship seem cheap, a poor substitution for the real thing.
If the change in our schedules was any indication of what would happen when Cath went off to college, it meant this time with Leo had an expiration date.
My slight stomachache turned into a hard cramp at the sudden understanding. Time was running out. I felt the color drain from my face.
“Is everything okay?” Clara asked earnestly.
“I’m freaking out,” I admitted. “I feel so unsure.” I shook my head, hunching in on myself.
“This isn’t the Mari I know,” Clara said. I frowned up at her. “The Mari I know attacks a problem full-on. She doesn’t wait for someone else to fix things. I admire that about you.”
I sat up straighter. She was right. Who was this passive person moping around?
I didn’t like this new schedule, and that was okay. I could be happy for Leo and still want to see him. I wanted to make an effort when we had time together. I sat up and felt a comforting sense of determination begin to grow. “You know how I can be aggressive at getting what I want?” I asked, an idea forming.
“Of course. It’s one of the many wonderful things in our shared DNA.”
“There is one area I feel is decidedly lacking that I wish I could, um, expedite a little.” A blush burned my cheeks. I was too old to be embarrassed to talk about this.
I’d had a taste of Leo’s talents and wanted more. His desire for me was evident as our kisses grew more and more intense, but this change to our schedule had somewhat stalled any forward progression. Maybe it was a setting issue. We were only at his mom’s house, in my car, or at Devlin’s.
“Go on,” Clara insisted.
I groaned. “You’re just better at being seductive than me,” I admitted.
“Thank you,” she said with a knowing dip of her chin.
Clara naturally caught eyes with the way she moved. Her years as a dancer gave her the added element of knowing how to drive a man wild. I wanted Leo to lose control. I’d seen a glimpse of it in the studio and needed more.
“I just want to be bold and clear in what I want.” With the time we have.
“Well, aside from the obvious . . .” she started.
“What?”
“Just talking to him. But I’m sure you already did that.” She side-eyed me, and I gave a non-confirming shrug. “Body language is everything. Little touches. Accidental boob grazes and booty bumps,” she said right as Mr. Geoffrey Neal walked in. He shot a disapproving glare toward Clara, who just waved back with a twinkle of her fingers.
“Hmm, I could do that. But I still think that’s too subtle.” I sighed. “I think we need a new location. There are too many damn people in our lives,” I snarked.
She snorted. “You really are hard up,” she said.
“It’s been a while,” I grumbled. “Either I’m exhausted, or we’re at Janice’s, which...I mean, she gives us our space and is gone a lot, but I don’t know. I want privacy.”
“What about your place? You might be overthinking this, babe. He’s a dude. It’s not like he needs champagne and roses.”
But Leo deserved it. It might sound corny, but Leo was a sensitive soul. Why shouldn’t men get to have a little romance during sex? Lord knew he always took care of my needs.
“My apartment is just so blah. I’m never there. When I am, I just wish I was somewhere else.”
“I think that’s worth investigating. But okay, I get your point.” She pursed her lips and tapped her fingers in thought. She took a deep breath in and started to count off her fingers. “Back of a truck. On a blanket near Bandit Lake. Donner Lodge. The backseat of a car. In a barn. Next to a bonfire.” I reached forward to cover her mouth as she mumbled against my hand.
“Okay, okay, thank you. God, you’re like a deviant Dr. Seuss.”
Mr. Neal was now fully glaring at both of us. I dropped my arms.
“Thank you,” she said. “Needs must, and all that,” she added flippantly. “My point is, the key is not to overthink it or put too much pressure on it. It’ll happen when the time is right.”
I worried my lip. “We don’t have time.”
“Says who?”
I waved away her question. “It’s more complicated than that. There are things you don’t know about.”
There wasn’t even time to go into explaining it. I could see the writing on the wall. Leo wasn’t happy in Green Valley. He had made up with his best friend and his band. He may have had issues playing and touring before, but now that he could communicate his feelings with Vander, they could work around it. Aside from his obligation to Cath, which was over in just a few short months, nothing kept Leo in Green Valley.
“Mari, I don’t think Leo is going anywhere any time soon. Look at all he’s?—”
“I have a plan,” I snapped loudly. “Operation Seduce Leo begins.” I smacked the table loudly.
She sighed. “Then I guess the only thing you can do is take an everything shower, wear some sexy underthings, and jump the man,” Clara said. “Oh, get laid, Neal,” she called when he gasped.
I wanted Leo. He wanted me. The time was nigh.