28. Mari
The time for subtlety had passed.
I straddled Leo and grabbed his cheeks. “I want you.”
His gaze moved over my face. “In any particular way? Just want to make sure?—”
“All the ways,” I said.
Four days. Four days of just Leo and me. No plans, no distractions or accidents. Nothing to get in our way.
“Merry Christmas to me.” He breathed.
“I’ll be right back,” I said as I shimmied to move off his lap.
He made a whimper of confusion and held on to my hips. “What? Where are you going?”
“I just need to grab something.” I hopped off his lap. “Meet me upstairs in ten minutes.”
“O-okay. I’ll just wait here for now.” He wiped his palms on his jeans and watched me leave like I’d dropped him off at puppy day care.
I ran upstairs and straight to the suitcase I’d packed. I dumped out the contents to begin Operation Seduce Leo. Candles, a bottle of massage oil, and condoms sprawled everywhere. I would clean those up after as I got myself ready. Any lingering sadness I’d felt about my family being gone for another holiday had been erased by Leo’s invitation to stay with him. With Janice gone, there was no more time to waste. The Christmas Market practically marked the end of the year, so from here on out, time would fly even faster than it already had. I wouldn’t lose another precious moment with Leo while I had him.
The black lace and stringy negligee looked even more scandalous in his bedroom and outside the fancy lingerie store. I chewed my lip and debated how to go about the process of putting it on. The sales associate had instilled me with false confidence, insisting that my long limbs and slim waist (and modest bust) would be perfectly emphasized in this getup. She’d patiently instructed me on how to put it on, detailing what piece went where. But now, as I stared down at what was laughably described as clothing and priced higher than my water and electric bill combined, I couldn’t figure out where to even start.
“In for a penny,” I mumbled to myself.
It was important that I made this night special for Leo. Maybe it was corny, and perhaps it shouldn’t be something I thought about so much. Leo deserved romance and tenderness. He gave so much to Cath and his mom and now even to Vander. But especially to me. Not a day had gone by since our lives intertwined that he hadn’t made some sweet, thoughtful gesture, whether it was a home-cooked meal, a stupid joke texted on a stressful day just to make me smile, or helping out in big ways that pushed him way outside his comfort zone. I could also get outside my comfort zone for him.
If only I could get in to this.
Things went downhill quickly. After I’d pulled the negligee up my legs, the action of trying to get my head and arms through created some sort of Gordian knot. The harder I pulled, the more tangled I became. I cursed as my hips slammed into a dresser, causing me to almost fall over, and getting my long hair snagged around, oh yes, a new knot, at my neck.
“Ow, ow, ow.”
The few bits of strategically placed lace were so far from their intended areas I couldn’t even fathom what scrappy triangle went where. Panic soon set in. And then the rage.
“If you would just cooperate,” I yelled at the fabric, and it retaliated by pinning my arm up next to my head.
My anger made my actions more violent and abrupt, which only encouraged the little Horny Lady Trap.
Ten minutes must have passed as I felt Leo enter the room behind me.
“Everything okay? I heard some bangs and?—”
I penguin stepped to turn and reveal myself in all my glory.
I slumped onto the bed and looked up from where I’d given up. I could only imagine, in my wildest nightmares, what he saw right now.
Mostly naked, crisscrossed by black straps like I’d fallen through a hammock, and just as visually appealing, sweating and red-faced. One arm stuck lifted above my head and my other arm pinched tight to my body, at least covering some of my more delicate areas.
Wow. Who could resist me now?
Leo laughed and tried to cover it with a sympathetic, “Oh no.”
I looked up, my mouth turned down in an exaggerated frown, my chin trembling slightly. “Help.”
He laughed again and covered it with his hand. He stepped to me, humor and pity written all over his features. “What happened up here?”
The rest of the room was forgotten in the madness of trying to get unstuck. My suitcase and its contents littered the room still. I didn’t have any time to light candles or get out the massage oil.
“My attempt at seduction,” I said with all the enthusiasm that I felt.
“Mari,” he said gently, coming to help me escape.
He stood me up, and to his credit, his gaze stayed mostly focused on my moping face as he began detangling me from my medieval torture device.
“You really didn’t need to do all this for me. It’s incredibly thoughtful, but it’s just me,” he said.
“All I did was make a mess and massive fool out of myself.” I sniffed and rubbed my tingling nose with the arm currently trapped above my head.
My cheeks burned red, and I’m sure my flush matched the rest of my body. Who would want to stay with this lonely, gangly wreck who literally could not even get dressed?
“You don’t have to do all this,” he whispered as his arms wrapped around behind me.
I let out a long breath, dropping my head to his shoulder as he worked.
“I’ve got you. Don’t worry,” he said.
I was so used to being alone, doing things alone. The only thing that worried me was how much I already relied on him and how necessary his presence was in my life. Not just when he was saving me from myself—which was a lot of the time—but when he was driving me or watching me at dinner or waiting for my reaction to a dry joke he’d set up. My body craved his nearness, his company, his thoughts, and his attention.
I wanted it all from him, and it made me feel greedy and out of control.
My stuck arm was freed, and he slowly brought it down, my fingers tingling as the blood rushed to the tips.
I turned my face away, muscles limp and pliable as he worked on the rest of the lingerie.
“This is humiliating.” I pouted. “All I wanted to do was try to be sexy for you. I wanted to get a room at the Lodge, and it was booked. I ordered chocolate-covered strawberries from Donner Bakery, but they looked like little Santa hats. Not sexy.” He chuckled as I went on. “I wanted to dress up provocatively, and here I am stuck like a mummy who just woke up from a curse.”
He paused in his work to kiss my temple. “Are we taking this off or...?”
“Cut it off me for all I care. I just wanted to be sexy for you.” I tried to get angry but just felt sad.
Sad, horny Mari.
“Oh. There’s a hook.” Something loosened, and the whole contraption slid to my ankles. “There we go.”
I stood completely naked, arms crossed strategically, humiliation making me glow. “Taken down by a negligee,” I said. Then I sniffled as I added, “Good album name.”
He chuckled and grabbed the throw on the edge of the bed to wrap me up.
“Mari, look at me.” I met his awaiting gaze with reluctance. “You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. You have been driving me wild since you brought a marching band to my lawn.”
“I think that emotion is anger.”
“No.” He cupped my face. “I have wanted you for so long. You’re incredible. You’re sexy. You’re talented and passionate. Trust me, none of this is necessary.” He gestured around the room. “Appreciated, but not needed.”
“Then...why?” I trailed off, kicking the last of the fabric off my feet. This wasn’t on him. I’d been pushing and pulling from the beginning. Maybe I’d been sending mixed signals.
“I’m in no rush. I was waiting until it was right for you. I’d wait forever.” He shrugged, and a hand tugged his hair. Why was that action so damn sweet to me?
But we didn’t have time. Didn’t he feel that same ticking clock?
There was a flush to his cheeks that hadn’t been there before, and his eyes were dilated as they darted quickly back and forth between mine. Maybe de-stringing me had affected him more than I thought.
“You’re too much. You say these things...and it’s like.” I grabbed his hand to rub at the area around my heart under the blanket. His hand felt cool compared to the burning skin. “I feel everything so much. It’s changing me. You’re changing me.”
He swallowed, tearing his gaze to where the blanket began to slip. “Is that good?”
“It’s more than that. It’s...” I struggled for the right word. “Real. It’s the most alive I’ve ever felt. It scares me a little, though. I’ve never felt like this.” I’ve never wanted to.
I expected the worry to set in, the understanding that this too shall end, but when I looked into Leo’s eyes, I didn’t feel anything but that familiar peace of his presence. I held on to it.
“It scares me too. You make me feel alive,” he said. “You make me feel like I’ve been sleeping or something. Like I’ve somehow wasted so much time already. You’ve turned my world upside down.” He cupped my hands, his bandaged knuckles wrapped around mine. “Let’s be scared together.”
I nodded and dropped my cheek to where we connected, rubbing against his abused knuckles.
He nudged me with his nose until I lifted my chin. His mouth dropped down to mine, and I opened for him. When I lifted to wrap my arms around his shoulders, the swoosh of the blanket, as it fell to the ground, was audible between our gasps for each other. He groaned against my mouth, deepening the kiss.
I loved the way his callused and wrapped hands scraped against my skin as they explored down my back. It was already so overstimulating, and it drove me wild to know how hard he worked. The soft caresses soon turned to greedy grabs as neither of us seemed to get enough of the other.
He stepped back to pull off the sweatshirt he wore over a tee as I tugged at the buttons of his jeans. He already strained hard against his briefs.
He looked down to catch me staring. “I want to be clear that I, uh, have been living somewhat of a monk-like existence these past few years.” He licked his lips and winced a little as he adjusted himself.
“I recently had a test and am good to go,” I offered so he wouldn’t feel weird discussing our health.
“Good. Same. I was tested before I came back, and there hasn’t been anyone else.” He stepped out of his jeans and pulled me to his hot, hard body. “But, uh, what I meant is that this first round might be a little quick and intense.”
“First round?” My eyebrows shot up as I understood his meaning.
“Of many. But I’m stating for the record that this first time may not be an accurate representation of what’s to come. Heh. No pun intended.”
I kissed up his neck to his mouth, letting my lips get scraped by the coarse hair. Every part of his body was designed to make me feel more electric. “I’m really not worried about it. You’ve been getting me off every night since the Rage Room, so I figure I owe you...”
His head dropped to my shoulder, impatient hands still roaming me. “Mari,” he groaned. “I wish I had really been there. I would make you feel so good.”
“You do.” I gasped.
He pushed off his briefs as I fell back onto the bed. I crawled back, propped on my elbows, and watched as he walked on his knees to get between my now spread legs.
His gaze roamed the view of me, and I let him take his fill, not even an ounce of modesty to be found. I couldn’t feel anything but magnificent in the way his dark gaze devoured me. It was as tangible as his finger that traced a pattern up the inside of my thigh. My legs shook as he leaned down to kiss my thigh, hand gripping it tight, his mouth sucked at the sensitive skin. Those strong, talented fingers gripped the smooth skin, making me feel cradled.
I gasped out his name. “I’m going to devour you later. Do you understand?” he asked.
I nodded, unable to speak after the control in his tone. I bit my lip, and he bent once more to lick up my seam. He toyed and teased me until I was wet and swollen and needy to be filled.
“Absolutely. Devour.” He spoke to the core of me, his hot exhalations causing a quake.
He took a steadying breath before leaning to grab a condom off the floor. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and put it in his mouth. His teeth held the fabric as both hands worked to roll on the condom. His chest rose and fell, his abs flexing as he focused. When he looked back at me with dark, greedy eyes, I was panting just as hard. His singular focus on getting inside me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
I thought he would drop the shirt from his mouth or rip it off entirely, but he didn’t seem to even notice he still gripped it in his teeth. His hands hooked behind my knees, draping my ankles on his shoulders. His hot gaze was focused intently on my body as he brought himself to me. He groaned as he swirled me with his tip, and my muscles began to shake since I’d been tense, sitting up to watch his every action. I was desperate to pull him as far into me as possible.
He pressed in with a tight suck of air before he began to rock slowly, deeply. The shirt was still in his mouth, so I could see every muscle in his body working to keep the steady rhythm. I clenched around him, and his nostrils flared. He was so distracted by looking at where we met that he didn’t seem to realize what he was doing somehow was making me even more wild. He was usually so careful. So thoughtful. But I wanted him to take and be selfish with my body. My pleasure was so rooted in his that both were inevitable. I couldn’t lose.
He looked up at me briefly, almost pained and apologetic.
“It’s so good,” I reassured him.
As he undulated into me. I pushed back, grinding into him, finding a sweet spot. His hand lifted my hip as he bent to kiss me, finally releasing the shirt from his mouth, his arm catching him before we crashed.
“You’re incredible,” he said. He kissed me, and I arched up. I tightened around him to make him feel good. A wildness started to take over. I pushed up his shirt to scratch my nails down his back. I hooked my legs to lift more firmly to him. I grabbed whatever I could to bring him as close as possible.
That initial spark—that previously could only come through careful attention and the right conditions—began to catch, but Leo was so hot, so wild for me. I’d wanted this, him, for so long; the foreplay had been building up to this for weeks. The spark caught, heat rolling through me. It built and built so that the excitement of knowing I would come like this launched the act itself. I came without warning, hard and fast, and unexpectedly.
I screamed out his name as I broke, and that shattered any remaining self-control he had. He pumped into me without his normal, careful rhythm, a freestyle of overwhelming desire.
His neck muscles flexed as his head lifted on a final deep thrust.
He stayed hovered above me, braced on his forearms, trembling slightly. His curls were even more extraordinary when damp with sweat, and I couldn’t help tugging my hand through them just as he did.
“Rest. Hydrate. Protein.”
“What?” I laughed at his mumbled nonsense.
“That’s the plan. Then we are coming right back here to set a world record.”
“For what? Most sexual positions in four days?” I asked.
He flopped over and onto his back, still panting. “You really get me.”