21. SWEET DEVASTATION
Chapter twenty-one
SWEET DEVASTATION
Amira
“ S o… um… both Imítheos and Ktínos are here together?” I confirmed, trying to refocus my lusty thoughts on more appropriate topics.
“We have our own dormitories for… obvious reasons, but yes, we live on campus together. But we never used to train together. I was the exception to that rule because my mother meant to teach me a lesson. I found that it actually helped break down barriers, so I ensured the Imítheos and Ktínos trained together when I was the general.”
“One of the things that made you so unpopular among the Imítheos,” I recalled, and he nodded. “As the general, did you spend a lot of time here after you were finished with your schooling?”
“A warrior is never done learning, but yes, the school is also the base for all military operations. We are about to pass into the combat half of the campus where cadets are physically trained. This is also where my old apartment and all the military offices are,” Riordan told me, and I nodded before my focus was shifted ahead by shouting.
We reached the other side of the forest where I saw a series of many fields that were marked and divided with white stakes in the short grass. Griffins were running drills, engaging in combat, and training with all manner of weaponry against both fellow opponents and mannequins made of straw and leather. All whilst being shouted at by instructors who I assumed were giving commands. It was at once overwhelming and very structured.
“Whoa,” I breathed as we began to move out of the trees and toward a middle strip of grass.
“The cadet dormitories,” Riordan said, pointing back at the plain buildings further down the treeline behind us. “Graduates are moved into the full apartments closer to the mountain. And the offices are that way,” he added, pointing in the opposite direction toward another cluster of smaller buildings.
I was awed as I took in the campus and tried to imagine Riordan here as a young man. The cadets kept sparring around us, most of them dutifully keeping their attention on their instructors and opponents. But a few eyes wandered as we walked by, and I could see heads tilting as they tried to work out who we might be.
“Riordan?” hissed someone behind us, and we turned to see one of the instructors who shouted even more excitedly in Aeolian when he confirmed it was Riordan. He seemed like he would have thrown his arms around my mate, but he knew how impartial the Imítheos were to demonstrations of physical affection.
“Dimitri!” Riordan greeted him as he clapped the other man on the shoulder. “It is good to see you.”
“It is good to have you home! This must be Amira,” Dimitri guessed, also switching to Gaelic as he looked at me in the assessing way all the Ktínos seemed to. It was not clear what they must think of me, but I could only assume it was that I was rather small and unseemly a mate for their king. Although it was only ever the Imítheos who made me feel any sense of inferiority.
“I am honoured to meet you, thárrosi . We have heard so much about you,” Dimitri told me. “One moment.”
He turned, the warmth and kindness all disappearing completely from his face when he shouted at the cadets that had been distracted watching our interaction. He was speaking Aeolian, so I did not understand, but it was clear he had chastised them because they immediately resumed their drills and sparring.
“Sorry, thárrosi . These younglings have a lot to learn,” he admitted with a shake of his head and an exasperated glance at Riordan. “Our general will surely sort them all out in no time,” he added with a smile for my mate as he backed away from us. “I have to get them to their next session in the Pit, but a drink sometime soon?” he asked Riordan who nodded in agreement.
We reached the other side of the field and watched the drills for a short time. I was genuinely impressed with the feats of athleticism from the cadets. It was hard to believe they were not already accomplished warriors, but still mere students of battle. I hoped that boded well for us in the event we had to face the Autumn Court in war.
“Our army is renowned,” Riordan assured me when he spied my awe. “Griffins are fierce and lethal warriors both in the sky and on the ground.”
“You are confident you can fight the Autumn Prince if he comes here?” I asked him with tentative hope.
“Rian DorTìodhlac is a formidable warrior in his own right with centuries of leadership and battle experience in the Wild Hunt. But he is no general,” Riordan began, crossing his arms over his chest as he began to analyze our opponent aloud with me. “Even if he is mustering an army to come here, he is a mercenary with no familiarity in commanding legions of soldiers. Such a vast army of fey will be a mixture of warriors all with differing talents and magic that he may not consider strategizing. So I am confident that our stringently trained and meticulously coordinated ranks would prevail in a battle. It is his magic that will prove to be our biggest challenge in this fight,” Riordan admitted.
“Ornella suggested you might not be able to face him even at your full strength,” I recalled, and Riordan nodded with his jaw clenched in reluctant agreement.
“His magic is dark. A tainted gift that is left over from a darker time of his people’s history. We cannot fight him with magic. At least not directly. Facing him head on will require some thought.”
“What kind of magic does he have?” I could not help asking, although based on his tense expression, I was not sure that I even wanted to know.
“He could take the Vale by consuming my power the same way Jade might have done. Not with blood magic, but with his natural power,” Riordan revealed.
“He can consume your magic?” I verified in horror.
“My magic. My body. My very essence if he wanted,” Riordan confirmed with a glance down at me that seemed to apologize for the upsetting truth.
My heart gave a desperate throb of anguish and dread at the thought of losing him. Heartache that was quickly answered by a fierce surge of my fire magic which raged up readily to protect the man I loved.
I would destroy the Autumn Prince myself before he could steal a thread of magic from my mate.
“Hopefully Ornella will have an insight on him when we get her back,” I stated, my voice trembling in spite of my effort to keep it steady and calm.
“Yes. In the meantime, I have begun to consider what allies we might seek. And I would like to meet with the Sylvan Elves. Their Fallen brethren, the Mavaari Elves, are the distant ancestors of Rian’s people, so the Sylvan may have a better understanding of his magic. They may even know how to counter it,” Riordan informed me as he squeezed my fingers in consolation.
“Elves?” I verified doubtfully.
“The Sylvan are not like the forest elves that you might have seen in the Rookery. They were born from the tears of Thea, the goddess of light, and if the legends are to be believed of them, then they are older than the earth.”
We spent the rest of the afternoon watching the cadets and wandering through the marble hallways of some of the buildings where we would not disturb any of the students. Riordan finally showed me his office, although it did look as if much of his things had been packed up and moved. He said he would take me to his apartment when we had another griffin with us or were officially mated.
We were on our way back to the front gate when I decided he was relaxed enough now that it was time to bring up the topics of his impulsive behaviour and Orion.
“It is chafing unbearably already, isn’t it? Being king,” I acknowledged gently and knew that I was right when he merely sighed and then was silent for a long time.
“I do not want to be leashed and put under control.”
“Oh, Riordan, I am sorry you feel that way,” I said, turning to face him on the path. Thankfully, we were still in The Grove, so we had some privacy as I gripped his hands and squeezed them.
“I want to help my people, and I do think… that I could do some good for them,” he admitted tentatively. “But all the unnecessary bureaucracy and politics is… suffocating,” he sighed with disgust. “I don’t want to be attending endless meetings. That is not the kind of king that I wish to be. I am a soldier. I do things with my own two hands. Not with laws and policies. I want to talk to my people rather than assume I know what is best.”
“And I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wanting to do things that way!” I reassured him.
His smile was appreciative but still sad as he reached up to brush his thumb along my lip.
“You seem to be the only one who feels that way.”
I considered the truth of that statement. Even Helena and Orion felt that he should cater to the expectations of the Imítheos. They did not want him to rock the boat too much too soon, and while I understood their concerns, the Imítheos were not my priority: Riordan was.
“You want to do things differently than they have ever been done before. Change like that is difficult, and your friends love you, Riordan. I think they love you more than they value what you could do for their people,” I stressed. “So their goal will always be to protect you, regardless of the interests of the Ktínos.”
“I know,” he admitted quietly. “But it doesn’t change who or what I am. These changes are vital, and there is no one else who can make them. It has to be me. I just wish that they… I have never felt before like they did not trust me to make the right decision,” he explained finally.
I considered his admission for a moment, weighing it against what I had learned from Ares and Helena. My first concern was that choosing me might have destabilized his credibility with them, but it only took a moment of further reflection to know this was not the case. Not with how the Ktínos had received me. I didn’t believe they were merely catering to Riordan as Orion suggested; the Ktínos were not so superficial. For the first time in my life, I felt truly comfortable among other people, and I knew that it was because they were honest and genuine.
“Helena said there will be a hundred skirmishes every month, and you cannot attend them all,” I advised him, curious how he would respond.
“She is right, but there will not be so many once I have reestablished my authority and secured the Vale again,” he insisted with a hint of frustration. “She seems to forget we were at war with the Fuath when I became general, and we had to make many changes in a short time to make us strong enough to eliminate the threat. I made enemies and rivals. My friends thought I was out of my mind to upset the system like that, but I swore to protect them all, and I did . We weathered the storm, and when we were done turning everything on its head, our army had become stronger than ever,” Riordan stated unflinchingly. He was not boasting, he was merely stating the facts confidently. “Now everything we built has been dismantled, and we must start at the beginning,” he added as he tilted his head to look up into the dark branches above.
“You did not tell her any of that this morning.”
“I should not have to when she knows—” he began.
“Do not assume what she knows. You thought I knew a lot more than I did before coming here, and as a result, you weren’t upfront about important information. I know that was not your intention at all ,” I assured him when his eyes widened in concern. “But it left me feeling like I was making decisions without all the facts,” I tried to explain as gently but firmly as possible.
“Amira, I… I am sorry,” he murmured.
“It’s alright, we’ve already talked about all that, I just wanted to make a point about Helena,” I reassured him. “You’ll undoubtedly need to be forceful with the bigots, but the stakes are even higher now than they were when you were the general. So you are not only starting from scratch with liberating Ktínos, but also in building trust with your friends. And if you would rather they had faith in you this time instead of questioning your methods as they did before, then I think they’ll need more inclusive strategizing from you. I haven’t known them very long, but I’m confident that if you give them that, then they will help you upset this system and rule the way you want to.”
Riordan appeared conflicted between his concern for me and a hint of frustration which I perfectly understood. He was a prince and a beloved general who had proven himself competent. He was used to being obeyed, even by those who did not approve of him, and he felt that he had already earned the trust of everyone who mattered to him. But I was also confident he could develop more inclusive leadership styles. Especially when he was internalizing my criticism rather than getting immediately defensive.
And yet, I still held my breath while I waited anxiously for him to speak. I trusted Riordan not to react badly, but I was not used to being able to speak my mind so freely or give someone feedback. My mother hated it, and Ornella was often very defensive as well.
“You are right,” the king said finally, and I released a soft exhale of relief as he nodded. “I often take command and act according to my own instincts without regard for the opinions of others. I trust myself to make decisions, and I suppose I expect others to as well.”
“I think that they do trust you, but I also think they will appreciate it more if you are more open with them.”
Riordan was thoughtful as he nodded before he raised his eyes to me. He looked hesitant but determined.
“Is that why you have not felt that you can make a decision about me? Because I was not forthcoming?”
“I… Perhaps in the beginning,” I admitted reluctantly, my heart aching from the vulnerability in his question. “But there were many other factors that had nothing to do with you. My own fears and cautions.”
He merely nodded although I could tell there was more he wanted to say. He wanted to respect my right to make this decision in my own time.
“Thank you for talking this through with me,” he said, shocking me.
“I hope I am not saying the wrong things! I am so far out of my element here—”
“I just needed another perceptive, Amira, and you gave that to me. Orion is usually the one who speaks sense to me when I am unmindful, but it seems all this time apart has brought us back to the days when he was… cruel.”
Now, I knew that was my fault. Or if not exactly my fault then my presence had certainly exacerbated it.
“Tell me what happened,” I invited him, and Riordan turned his face away, looking pensive as he appeared to consider what to tell me.
“It is his job to protect me, even from myself, but he has never attempted to manipulate me before,” he said, shaking his head in misunderstanding.
“Is it because of me?” I guessed quietly.
“You have done nothing wrong,” he assured me firmly, looking down at me. “I just… I don’t understand him.”
I was quiet, struggling with the impulse to tell Riordan the truth about his friend, but I could not bring myself to do it when it may only be more detrimental. And besides, such a massive secret had to come from Orion himself.
“I told Sofia that I wanted to be trained and tutored,” I told him significantly. It felt impulsive to tell him about my decision in order to alleviate some of his sorrow, but I trusted my instincts as much as Riordan trusted his own. “Learning Aeolian will be the priority I think, but I also want to learn your maps, your culture, and your history. I’ll need to know all those things if I am to support you the way I want to.”
I looked up at Riordan to see if he understood, and he was staring at me. I didn’t even think he was breathing.
“Are you saying…” he began, but then he trailed off as if he could not bring himself to hope he had interpreted my meaning correctly.
“I choose you, Riordan,” I whispered and watched the emotion erupt across his face in sweet devastation.
“Amira,” he breathed as if uncertain what else to say.
“I know it will be hard with the Imítheos, but you have proven that you would move mountains for me, and now I just… I cannot bear to think about my life with anyone else but you. Maybe it makes me selfish, because despite whatever you might say, I definitely do not deserve you! But I don’t care,” I assured him before he could object to my unapologetic assertion. “I want you, Riordan. I want to be yours. And maybe it will be less difficult with your people once we are mated. They might see us as more of a united front,” I pointed out, attempting to be optimistic, although he raised his brows at me. “If not, then at least I’ll be allowed in the same room alone with you. And I could touch you without it being so scandalous to them! You have no idea how much I ache to be able to touch you all the time,” I admitted quietly, allowing my hands to trail down his muscled arm.
“It will always be scandalous to them, Amira, but I am yours to touch whenever you want,” Riordan assured me, making me giggle with his eagerness. His hands cupped my face with such gentle reverence as he stared at me for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief. “It hardly feels real. I have been wanting you for so long and now… Are you sure about this? About me ?”
“I have never been more sure of anything . And maybe it will be easier with Orion if we are not in limbo anymore. Maybe this decision will force him to resolve his issues rather than continue to look for ways that he can interfere with this choice.”
Riordan’s elation at my news was dampened slightly by the mention of Orion, and he did not look convinced of my tentative hope.
“Orion is a stubborn bastard, and I honestly have no idea what is going through his mind right now. It may be helpful, but it could just as easily make him even angrier. But I want this. I want you ,” Riordan asserted in absolute certainty, and I nodded as I nibbled on my lower lip with indecision again. I wanted to be as transparent with him as I possibly could be if we were going to do this.
“I have to be honest with you… I may know what’s wrong with him,” I began, watching nervously as his eyes widened. “But I don’t think I should tell you.”
“Why not?” he demanded, on the verge of being upset, but he held himself back in order to hear my reasoning.
“I don’t want to blow up your friendship. It is his secret to share, and he is responsible for it,” I insisted.
Riordan eyed me, and I could tell he was frustrated by the knowledge that the answers to his friend’s behaviour were right in front of him. But he eventually nodded as he lowered his hands from my face.
“How do you know?” he asked me quietly.
“Ornella figured it out first, but I would have guessed it eventually,” I said, and he gaped in further disbelief.
“The two of you knew my closest and most guarded friend for less than forty-eight hours, and you guessed this secret of his? I have known him for centuries. I have bled and killed at his side; we are a part of one another through the skiá bond, and yet I have not the slightest idea what is going on with him. So are you sure about it?”
“He has not explicitly admitted it, but his actions have confirmed it beyond doubt to me,” I assured him.
“And will it be insurmountable for him?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted honestly. “It will depend on what he decides to make a priority going forward.”