Chapter 14 – Jael #2
It’s grunt work mostly. Cleaning up patient messes, handling the tasks that the registered nurses don’t want to. But I love it. I feel alive and like I have purpose. It’s like I’m building a life of my own. Earning my own money. Money that my parents can’t take away from me.
And of course, that’s when life decides to kick me until I'm on the floor of the dirty, hospital bathroom, gasping for air.
I stare at the pregnancy test that’s perched on the back of the toilet again and audibly groan.
Why did I even take it? Maybe because it’s July now, and I’ve been feeling off. That gnawing little voice in the back of every woman’s mind had started whispering, 'Are you sure you’re not pregnant?'
So, I stopped by the convenience store on my way into work tonight and, well, here we are. Two very, but clearly there, faint lines.
I blow out a slow, shaky breath, trying to steady my nerves.
I don’t know what this means yet. I don’t know how far along I might be.
Hell, I don’t even know who the father is.
It could only be one of two people: Owen, which happened once and only once before I ended things with him after graduation.
Or Rhett, which happened more times and, in more places, than I could ever count.
But I was careful with both and used protection every single time.
Grabbing the test, I toss it into the tiny trashcan beside the toilet. This isn’t something I can deal with right now. I'm at work and need to focus on my patients.
I smooth down my light blue scrubs, step out of the stall, wash my hands, and head back toward the hospital floor. But before I can shove it all to the back of my mind, my phone lights up with another text message from Rhett.
I’ve been ignoring Rhett. Not because of this, of course, but because the anger around the way things ended is still sitting in my chest like a splinter I can’t dig out.
I’m furious that he believed I told Owen I was a virgin before sleeping with him. Owen never asked; he just assumed. And I’m even angrier that Rhett thought I’d be ashamed of sleeping with him, as if that could ever be true.
The truth is the shame that I was feeling was never about Rhett at all.
It was always about Owen. I’m mortified that I ever let Owen into my life, let alone my body.
Embarrassed that I gave him something he never deserved.
And frustrated with myself for not recognizing I deserved better, plus angry that I didn’t put a stop to it before it happened after I’d been shown by Rhett what real love and tenderness looks like.
And underneath it all, what hurts the most is knowing Rhett thought so little of me and us that he could toss our friendship and everything we were building away like it was nothing, when for me it was everything.
He didn’t trust me, and he didn’t believe me when he asked.
Rhett: Please talk to me. I’m so sorry, Jael. I was projecting my own insecurities about Owen and your past relationship with him onto you. I believe you. Please call me back.
Rhett: Fuck, I miss you, baby.
I work the rest of my shift distracted. When I finally get back to my temporary housing until I can move into the on-campus dorms, I strip out of my scrubs, take a long, hot shower, and sit on my bed, staring at my phone.
How much longer am I going to be able to live here with a baby? Will anyone want to room with me? How will I afford things like diapers, wipes and bottles?
All these questions run through my mind as I look at Rhett’s last text messages pleading for me to call him.
I know what I need to do.
Rhett answers on the first ring. “Jael, fuck, I’m so glad you called.”
“Rhett,” I interrupt, my voice flat and steady because I need to get this over with and start accepting my new reality. And so does he. “I’m pregnant.”
Silence.
“What?” His voice is barely a whisper.
“I’m pregnant,” I repeat. There’s no point in sugarcoating it. Rip the Band-Aid off. Start preparing for this new chapter of my life as a single mom. Because what eighteen-year-old guy a few months out of high school is ready to be a dad, especially when he can’t even be sure the baby is his.
My face flushes with embarrassment and I’m glad we aren’t having this conversation in person. Maybe this way I can detach from the emotions and put some space between us. Finally, he talks.
“You’re… You’re pregnant? Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Am I…” He hesitates, his voice cracking like he's going to cry. “Am I the father?”
“I don’t know.” The truth is brutal, but it’s all I have to give. I don’t know. The one time that I slept with Owen he used a condom, but so did Rhett.
The line goes silent.
I sigh and press on. “I’m calling to tell you that we’re good, Rhett. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle this on my own. I just thought you should know.”
“Jael, wait—”
“Seriously, Rhett. I’ll be okay.”
“When are you coming back?"
I laugh because I can’t believe he asked that. "Never."
"What do you mean never? You can't stay in school and have the baby in Virginia. How are you going to finish your degree with no help nearby?"
I let out a bitter laugh. “What difference does it make? What support would I have if I came back to Whitewood Creek?”
“You’d have me. You’d have my mom. You’d have your friends—”
“No, Rhett. I wouldn’t.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “You made that abundantly clear when I left and broke up with me.” My voice wavers as tears sting my eyes. “Goodbye.”
The next morning, I wake up to ten missed calls from Rhett and blood on my sheets. A chemical pregnancy, they call it—a very early miscarriage that happens within the first five weeks of pregnancy.
Clinically, I understand how common it is. Emotionally? It guts me more than I could have ever imagined because it means that Rhett was the father and it wasn’t just about the loss of the pregnancy. I know that I was losing Rhett too.
He called me three more times that day. I didn’t pick up. And later that night when I get home from my shift at the hospital, I send a single text to let him know he’s off the hook.
Jael: I miscarried this morning. You don’t have to text me anymore. Goodbye, Rhett.
◆◆◆
I blink back to the present. Molly and Regan are both watching me quietly, waiting for me to finish the story about what happened in the basement during game night.
“It was good,” I finally say, my voice a little too even, “until it wasn’t. I said something that brought back all these memories Rhett and I had buried. It killed the mood for him, and he pushed me away, so I ran.”
Regan nods slowly. “I see.”
“And then we fought,” I add with a bitter laugh. “I stormed out, and we haven’t talked since.”
The table goes quiet, the weight of my words settling over us. It’s a moment before anyone speaks again.
“Ouch,” Molly says, her brows pinching together.
“You and Rhett were always so close. Honestly, your relationship reminded me so much of how Colt and I were growing up though we never admitted we had feelings for each other until recently. He was my protector in a lot of ways, you know? Saw me when I felt like no one else did.”
I understand her completely.
Because that’s exactly how I felt about Rhett once upon a time. Even when we were bickering like brother and sister, he always made time for me. And no matter how bad things got, I knew he’d have my back no matter what.
“I hope you two can work things out while you’re here,” Molly says softly.
I wave a dismissive hand, picking at the last of my food. The warmth of the meal is finally nursing the lingering edges of my hangover.
“I’m only here for three more weeks. I doubt it. And honestly? It’s fine. You know, I don’t think you have to be friends with everyone from your past. Sometimes there’s a reason they’re stuck there.”
Molly and Regan exchange knowing glances before leaning forward again.
“Yeah, Jael, maybe,” Molly starts, biting her lip nervously. “But… I feel like you should know this.”
I set my fork down, my stomach suddenly heavier than before. “What?”
She shrugs, clearly debating how much to say. “This is for his good and yours. That I’m saying then. When Rhett heard from Meredith that you were coming back to town… he was excited. He told Colt and Lawson that.”
“Excited?” The word tastes foreign on my tongue. Rhett was excited about seeing me again. He didn't seem that way when he found me in my trailer home flipping through yearbooks, but maybe that's because I'd told him I was going on a date with Owen.
Molly nods quickly. “I don’t want to tell you everything he said—I can’t betray Colt’s trust like that—but… he was really looking forward to seeing you again.”
“I… I see.” My voice trails off as I stare past her, out the large bay windows. Traffic creeps lazily through the town square, headlights blinking against the overcast sky as the sun begins to set.
Just then, my phone lights up in my hand. Lainey’s name flashes across the screen. She was supposed to join Molly and me for this late lunch, but something with one of her kids had her rushing to the hospital instead. I’d promised to check on them when I got to work tonight.
“Hey, give me a second,” I mutter, swiping to answer. “Hey, Lainey. Everything okay?”
“Not really,” she says, her voice heavy with frustration. “But I think you should go talk to Rhett.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, already exasperated. Why is his name coming up in every conversation now that I’m back? It’s like the universe is making it impossible for me to avoid him.
“What happened?” I sigh.
“Lark called me,” she says quickly, her words tumbling together. “Apparently, Rhett got into a fight at lunch today with Owen.”
“A… a what?” I practically shout, causing Molly and Regan to whip their heads toward me.
“Yeah. Something about Owen running his mouth about hooking up with you last week after your date,” Lainey explains. “I don’t know all the details, but Della heard it, told Lark, and… well, you can guess how that went over with Rhett.”