Chapter 18 – Jael
The rest of our first date is spent laughing and catching up on the years that we missed. Though the conversation never comes back to Christopher, I finally get a chance to work into the discussion my questions around who he’s dated over the past decade.
“No one was ever serious.” He says it so simply and honestly.
“Okay, but I still want to know. Was it anyone I knew?” I beg teasingly as I pop another sliced strawberry into my mouth and savor the sweetness of it.
We’re still sitting at his kitchen island with him across from me as if he’s trying to keep some space between us.
“God, why do they taste like this? Did you bathe them in sugar?”
He grins. “They’re from Regan’s new garden she started at the old Mayberry Manor.
The produce she grows mostly goes to the Whitewood Creek Brewery and Restaurant, but she sells it occasionally at a farm stand on their property.
Lawson has his son Beckham out there working the stand, earning some extra dollars.
Good way to keep him busy during the summer. ”
I nod and take a bite into a blueberry this time.
It’s just as good. Sweet and fresh like it was picked straight off the vine and into this plate.
A soft moan escapes from my lips as the juices spill down my chin.
Rhett’s gaze drops there for a moment before his eyes lift back to mine and when they do, they’re heated.
He clears his throat. “If you really want to know about my past, there was Katy when I was twenty-one.”
“Katy? Was she in our class at school?”
He nods. “She ended up going to the community college with me. Got her certification in welding.”
“Wow, that’s intense.”
“She was intense. Super smart but a bit wild in the bedroom.”
I put my hands up because I shouldn’t have asked. Maybe I’m not ready to hear this. “Say no more.”
He grins. “Ah, now you don’t want to hear about my sex life?”
“I’d rather not.”
He chuckles. “Seems only fair given I’ve had to hear about yours.”
“I haven’t said anything about my sex life.”
He hums quietly and rubs at the scruff on his chin but doesn’t say anything more.
I pop another strawberry into my mouth. “Okay, so who else?”
“No one else was more than one date except for Penelope.”
“Who’s that?”
“A teacher at the elementary school.”
I pause my chewing because this girl sounds recent. “When was the last time you went out with her?”
He thinks for a moment, and I can tell he’s considering what to tell me. “The same night that you and Owen went to the football game.”
“Oh…wow.”
Jealously flares in my chest which is ridiculous and stupid considering I have no right to be jealous and the last time he dated her was the same night I went on a date with Owen… a guy he hates.
“So, are you still dating her?” God, I hope not considering the things that we did in Lainey’s basement.
He shakes his head no. “It was never anything serious. We both knew she was moving at the end of this summer, and it’s always been casual. She’s headed to Charlotte in a month for her master’s degree.”
“Okay, so just fucking then?” I don’t know why I say it except now I’m feeling petty.
He shrugs. “You told me not to talk about my sex life.”
“Yeah, but that’s super recent, Rhett!”
“And?”
“I mean…” I hesitate, biting on my lip and trying not to sound desperate for details and pathetic that I haven’t been having casual sex too. “Do you still have feelings for her?”
“I never did in the first place and neither has she.”
“Okay, but you must have liked her if you went on multiple dates?”
He shakes his head slowly. “Jael, what is it that you want to know? Just ask it. I won’t lie to you, but I think you need to be honest with yourself on why you’re asking me all these damn questions about a woman I’ve already said doesn’t matter.”
I blink at him, and he stares at me. I know he can read it all over my face and I’m sure I look pathetic to him. I’m just too embarrassed to ask.
He sighs when I don’t respond. “She was just someone to pass the time with. They all were. That’s all any woman’s ever been to me.”
There’s a weight behind his words that makes my chest tighten. He doesn’t say more, but I can feel the unspoken truth that’s lingering in the air.
Were they all just placeholders because he was waiting for me to come back?
That thought feels selfish, indulgent even, and yet I can’t help but wonder.
I’d moved on, or at least I’d tried to with my ex.
Christopher was the only serious relationship I’ve had since Rhett and since that ended, I haven’t been dating.
But was it even real? Or was he just someone to pass the time with, too?
As if he’s reading my mind, he cuts through my thoughts like a blade to my heart. “It’s because none of them were you, Jael. None of them could have ever replaced the spot I kept in my heart for you.”
The honesty in his voice wrecks me. I nod because I get it. God, I really fucking do. More than he even realizes or I can verbalize.
My heart twists painfully as the words hang between us, raw and unfiltered.
He leans forward against the island, strong forearms pressed into the cool marble closing the small distance between us until our faces are only inches apart.
His eyes lock on mine, burning with intensity, and his voice drops, low and steady.
With other men I would pull back, try to put some distance and break eye contact, but with Rhett I feel safe. I always have and I find myself leaning closer to hear what he’s going to say instead.
“I want you to hear me so clearly when I say this. I tried to forget you. Since the day you pushed me away and stopped responding to my messages. I’ve fought like hell to move on, to not let the ache of missing you consume me.
But it’s never left. That night in Lark’s basement, I thought I could do it.
Push past your words and the silence, but it reminded me of everything that we’d lost. Not just our friendship, but the baby, too and it fucking wrecked me.
Fucking broke me.” He pauses for a moment, hesitating as if he thinks he’s said too much but then he shakes his head, pushing forward.
“Fuck it. Because I did think of you as fragile for so long. I wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces for you, to help heal you, but you didn’t want that from me, and I had to accept that no matter how badly it hurt me to do so. ”
His words hit me hard, and my throat tightens. “I... I’m so sorry, Rhett,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. After everything happened, I—”
He nods, cutting me off with the smallest tilt of his head, and then he straightens, standing tall again. But his gaze never leaves mine.
“I think I’ve spent all this time searching for someone to replace you,” I say softly, my voice heavy with this confession.
“But all I’ve done is settled for less. Over and over again.
Because deep down, I didn’t think I deserved better.
And maybe... maybe I was scared I’d never find what we had again.
I’m so sorry. For everything. You deserved better. We deserved better.”
He moves around the island until he’s standing between my legs. His gaze burns, heavy with unspoken words, and before I can think, he’s gripping my hips, lifting me easily and settling me on top of the cool countertop.
His hands land on either side of me, caging me in, his presence overwhelming as he digs his fists into the surface, steadying himself.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
Our lips are only an inch apart, his chest is rising and falling in measured breaths, each one pulling my focus as we linger here, suspended in the unspoken—the years of silence, the words left unsaid, and the confessions that hang between us now like fragile truths.
Then, with a tenderness that steals the air from my lungs, he lowers his forehead to mine, closing his eyes to rest there. Our breath mixes and I can feel the heat and connection that we’ve always shared flowing through my veins.
“Fuck, Jael,” he murmurs, voice cracking under the weight of the moment. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say them sooner,” I whisper, the ache in my chest spilling into my voice because I am.
My hands lift, skimming over the strength of his arms, the broad slope of his shoulders, until they wind around his neck. I pull him closer, urging him to meet my gaze. I need him to know how much I regret the way that things ended between us and how strongly I still care about him.
And when he finally looks at me, I see it, a tear, small but devastating, clinging to the corner of his eye. My words have unraveled something inside of him, a burden I didn’t know he’d been carrying for both of us and that makes me feel so much worse.
“You know, regardless of whose baby it was, I would’ve loved you.
I would’ve loved it and raised the child like it was my own,” he says in a whisper.
His words hit me with the force of a revelation, even though deep down, I’ve always known this.
That’s why I told Rhett the moment I found out… And why I never told Owen.
“I know,” I say softly, my voice trembling.
“You knew,” he echoes my response, as if testing the truth of it himself, letting it sink into the cracks he’s carried for so long.
And then, unable to stop myself, I lean forward and brush my lips against his in a soft, grateful kiss.
It’s tentative, hesitant, like testing the waters after years of uncertainty.
But he doesn’t let it stay that way for more than a moment.
His hands grip my hips, anchoring me to him as he pulls me flush against his chest. His mouth claims mine with a hunger that leaves no room for doubt over what he wants now and that is me.