Chapter 22 – Rhett #2
She finally looks up at me, fresh tears carving trails down her pretty cheeks, her green eyes are raw with so much pain it almost knocks the air out of my chest. I swipe at the drops, clearing them and cupping her chin gently, willing her to see me. To see that she’s safe here with me.
I fucking hate what they’ve done to her but now’s my chance to show her it doesn’t have to define her anymore.
I hold her face for a few more seconds, gazing into those eyes I love. Then, without a word, I pull her against my chest, wrapping her up in the only way I know how.
“I can’t begin to understand exactly how you’re feeling right now,” I murmur, my voice steady even as my heart pounds.
“But you need to grieve, Jael. To be mad, to scream, to cry, to let it all out. What you don’t need is to mask it.
The way that they treated you your whole life was wrong.
You’re right, they hurt you. And your dad doesn’t get to sweep it under the rug with a half-assed apology in a note from beyond the grave. ”
I feel her tremble against me, but I don’t let go.
“But this?” I continue, my hand smoothing down her back. “Drinking yourself into oblivion so that you forget the ache that’s in your chest just like he used to? That’s not going to help you move forward. You deserve better than that. Now look at me, please.”
She lowers the bottle that was still in her grip, and her head tilts upward to meet mine. Her lower lip trembles, and my heart aches again, reminiscent of the pain I felt years ago when I first noticed the bruises on her body.
“I hate him.”
“He didn’t deserve a daughter like you,” I say as I hold her tightly, her face lowers again, burying deeper in my chest. “He didn’t deserve to get to apologize to you through a note, either. You deserve more.”
The tears continue to fall as I feel my shirt grow damp with the wetness. Her body heaves and the anger she’s held tightly wound up inside of her wrecks her from the inside out.
“Let it out. I’ve got you. I’ve got this,” I murmur, my fingers threading gently through her hair, trying to soothe her even as my own tears sting the back of my eyes.
I hate this. I hate that she’s had to carry so much on her own, that she’s spent her whole life being stronger than she should have ever needed to be.
I hate that when she left, she had to bear the weight of losing the baby by herself, too.
I hate that she’s never felt like she could come to me with any of her pain.
And maybe, I hate myself a little for letting her push me away and not trying harder.
Maybe I should’ve tried harder to stay in her life, even when she shut me out. Maybe I should’ve driven to Richmond anyway, stormed up to her door, and refused to let her ice me out.
Back then, we were each other’s lifeline. And now, holding her like this, being with her these past few days, it’s clearer than ever how much we’ve both suffered without each other’s friendship.
Her breathing starts to slow, her sobs fading into soft sniffles. She pulls back just enough to wipe her eyes on my shirt. I let her, watching her with a mixture of heartbreak and something that feels a lot like hope that she’ll make it out better this time.
“I don’t know how to handle this, Rhett,” she whispers, her voice cracking under the weight of her pain. “I don’t know how to let go of this... this thing inside me. It’s like I’m broken, and no matter where I go in this town, all I see is pain.”
I take a deep breath, holding her gaze. “I have an idea.”
Her brow furrows, and I take her hand, guiding her through the kitchen and out onto the deck.
The cooler night air wraps around us as I lead her toward the stone fire pit I built last summer but have only used a handful of times.
Colt helped me with it, a replica of the one he built at his house last year.
Grabbing a few logs from the pile, I stack them neatly before striking a match. The flames catch quickly, licking at the wood and casting a warm, golden glow around us.
I gesture to one of the chairs. “Sit,” I say softly, pulling another chair close to hers.
Once she’s settled, I reach into my pocket and pull out the note. The damn thing feels heavier than it should, like it’s carrying all the years of pain and regret she’s been holding inside for only a few sentences.
“How would you feel about burning this?” I ask her gently.
Her tear-streaked face tilts up to meet mine, and for the first time tonight, there’s a flicker of something other than sadness in her eyes. Relief, maybe. Hope, I wish. She looks at the note, then at the fire, and nods slowly.
I hand it to her, watching as her fingers tremble slightly while she takes it.
“It’s just paper,” I murmur, my voice low. “It doesn’t hold power over you unless you let it. Say what you wish you could say to your father now and then let’s burn that note and his memory for forever.”
Jael thinks quietly for a moment, her lips rolling under her teeth before she begins,
“I deserved better. I deserved parents who protected me from this cruel world, not parents who subjected me to the worst kind of cruelty and neglect. I’ve made something of myself despite the circumstance you subjected me to, and that is what I’m the proudest of.
I’m proud of who I’ve become and the way that I won’t let you hold any power over me ever again. Goodbye, forever.”
She throws the note into the fire, and we watch together as the flames lap up around the white edges, turning them to black before burning away any remaining bits of his last words.
When it’s turned to ash I grab her, pulling her onto the chair that I’m sitting on and holding her tightly against my chest until the shakes from her sobs subside.
When I’m sure she’s calmed, I brush the hair away from her face just enough to see that she’s fallen asleep. Dark lashes frame her pretty cheeks, shuttering out those sad, green eyes.
Quietly, I stand and carry her back to my bedroom where I tuck her under the covers before curling my body tightly around her. I hold her like that while we drift off to sleep the same way that we used to as kids before everything fell apart.
◆◆◆
“Rhett? Are you awake?” Jael's soft voice stirs me from my sleep and jolts me awake. Her hands brush against my chest, grounding me and bringing me back to the bed where we fell asleep hours ago with her wrapped up in my arms.
“Yeah.” My voice is dry as I pull her tighter to me. “Everything okay?”
She smiles at me and it’s genuine. Her face tilts upward with slightly swollen eyes from crying earlier, but there’s a difference there now. The sadness isn’t there anymore and she doesn’t look so broken. She looks happy.
“I’m a lot better now. I’m sorry we missed our date. I feel horrible that I ruined it.”
I brush her hair away from her face, looking into her eyes that are now no longer glazed over with drunkenness and anger and savoring how pretty she looks wrapped up in my arms and in my bed.
For years I tried not to imagine what it’d be like to hold her here.
I wondered if she’d ever come back, but I didn’t let myself dwell on that thought for too long because it seemed impossible.
I never thought she’d willingly be here.
That she’d choose to spend the night with me and look happy about it.
My eyes steal a glance at the clock that tells me it’s midnight now. She gives me another sweet smile, and I press my lips gently against hers.
“It’s okay, I was only looking forward to this part anyhow. The part where you end up back in my bed and I get to hold you.”
She laughs softly. “I was looking forward to that part too.”
And I like that even more than anything else she’s said all night.
“You hungry?”
She nods. “Famished. Do you have any food? I don’t think anywhere in this town is still open currently.”
“I do, but” my words die on my lips as quickly as they came because her hands have drifted underneath the sheets and are dusting across the hair on my chest. Just that simple touch has all the blood in my body rushing south.
Then they move lower, exploring every ridge of my abdomen, teasing the top of my pelvis like she’s taking her time.
“Fuck, Jael.”
She smiles innocently but continues to drag her nails just above where I’m aching for her to touch. To find me already hard for her.
“Touch it, Jael,” I grit out. “Fucking grab it.”
She wraps her fingers around my cock and squeezes it firmly. “Like this?”
“Hell yeah, baby. Just like that. Yank it, squeeze it, I don’t care just keep your hands on me. It feels good having you touch me again.”
She drags her palm over me, exploring before giving the head a little extra attention with a twist then stroking me down to the base and back up. I can’t see what she’s doing, but fuck it’s never felt better to be touched by a woman.
“Or I could eat this first…” she trails off.
I push my hips into her as her hand glides over me, gripping me firmly. She pumps me a few times and I’m stiff as steel. It didn’t take much and I’m blaming that on the fact that my body knew it was holding her, probably smelled her too in my subconscious.
Her green eyes turn from playful to needy as she continues to work me up and down and then she pushes the sheets back to get a better view of me.
“You’re so big. I think I forgot just how big you were.”
“Commit it to memory so you never forget again.”
She laughs gently and then moves lower until she’s settled between my legs, her tongue peeking out as she taps it against my tip.
“Fuck me.”
“You like that?” she asks.
I nod. “You know I do. I like everything that you do.” My hands fall to her shoulders, smoothing over the soft, bare skin there and loving that I get to touch her in my bed. She’s so fucking perfect.