Chapter 26 – Jael
After a restless night of tossing and turning, a handful of stolen minutes of sleep at best, and a brutal twelve-hour shift in the ER—two traumas, one code blue, plus a training class I led for the new nurses—I find myself crossing the small-town square with a knot in my stomach.
I’m on my way to meet Christopher, my ex-fiancé, a man that I’d sworn I’d never have to look in the eye again.
A conversation I’ve been dodging for far too long.
Because despite him making his intentions clear when he ended our engagement, I’ve never made mine.
I’ve never stuck up for myself, never expressed what I really wanted. And now’s my chance.
The short walk from the motel to Frank’s, the little, barbeque diner where we agreed to meet, feels longer than it should. I pick at a loose thread on my dress as if the tension might unravel with it.
Last night Rhett’s face had been all tortured angles when Christopher showed up unexpectedly.
I wanted to reach out and touch him, lay a hand on his chest, tell him he had nothing to worry about.
But I knew it wasn’t the time, and after once again debating whether I should talk to Dr. Walker about any upcoming positions in the new ICU, I just didn’t have the fight left in me to ask.
And underneath all of it is the bigger question, the one I keep circling no matter how exhausted I am: do I really belong in Whitewood Creek for good? Or am I just drifting, pretending roots will take hold where they never have?
Because I want to belong with Rhett. God, I want that more than anything. But I can’t stay only for him. If I stay, it has to be because this town feels like home to me too.
Christopher spots me almost immediately when he walks through the doors, and when he reaches the side of my booth, he greets me with a hug and a kiss on a cheek, something we never used to do when we were together.
The intimate gesture has me freezing in place, my body slipping into almost a catatonic state as all the old emotions I used to feel for him, and the way he broke my heart when he ended our engagement, resurface.
But the difference is I don’t want him anymore.
In fact, I want nothing at all from him.
“Hi, Jael,” he says with a wide grin, “It’s so good to see you.”
“Hi, Christopher.” I don’t return the compliment because I’m still not sure how I feel about him making the long drive down here just to find me. That, and well it’s not good to see him.
It’s been months since our relationship ended and months with no contact. The last message that he’d sent had been to check in on how my latest nursing rotation was going and to mention that he’d heard I’d switched to traveling.
I’d ignored it, mostly because every time he texted me it was like digging a knife in old wounds.
I was trying to move forward but talking to him would have kept me stuck in the past. I realize now I hadn’t moved on until I came here and saw Rhett.
Until he healed a heart that he didn’t break once again.
Our server comes to drop off two glasses of water then takes our orders before Christopher turns back to me. “You look good. You got a tan, and your eyes look brighter. You look… different.”
Happier, I’m sure. Probably because I’ve been spending time with someone who prioritizes me and doesn't want to see other people. Probably because I’m with a man who sees me.
“Thanks,” I say with a careful smile, not wanting to repay the compliment because the truth is Rhett’s the only man that I find attractive anymore. “You look… different.” I choose instead.
And he does. He’s lost a little weight, and his usually shaggy brown hair is now cropped shorter, tighter to his head.
He’s no Rhett, but Christopher’s always had his own kind of appeal.
Where Rhett is all muscles, height, and that protective presence, Christopher is leaner, more subtle.
I’m not even sure he’s ever touched a dumbbell in his life.
“Why are you here, Christopher?” I ask, taking a sip of the water that the server brought, cutting straight to the chase. This isn’t a date, and I’m not enjoying this, so we might as well get it over with.
He sighs. “I came for you. I realized I made a mistake in asking to end our engagement six months ago.”
My mouth drops open in shock, but I quickly seal it shut, wanting him to continue.
“This time apart, while you’ve been doing traveling nursing, has been good for me.
Jael,” he leans forward, his eyes pleading.
“We got together when we were so young, and it was early in my new career, I didn’t have a chance to really find myself, you know?
When I asked for a break, it was because I felt like I didn’t know who I was.
I wasn’t sure about us because, I don’t know, I wasn’t sure about myself.
I needed to find myself first before I could pursue our engagement and set a date for marriage. ”
I can just hear Rhett’s words echoing in my mind: ‘Sounds like a bunch of horse shit. He wanted his cake and to eat it too.’
“And have you found yourself yet?” I ask.
He smiles like he thinks I’m asking because I care. “I think I’m starting to. The more time that’s gone by, I’ve realized I don’t want to explore other relationships. I don’t want anyone else. I want to be all in with you, Jael. I want us to get engaged again.”
Explore other relationships? How many other ‘relationships’ has he explored during the past six months?
What he means to say is that he doesn’t want to fuck other people anymore now that he’s gotten them out of his system.
Though his words might have stirred butterflies in my stomach two months ago, a realization of the safety of returning to the world I’d once known, a world where I’d envisioned a future, marriage, and a family with Christopher, a lot has changed since I left Virginia.
My self-confidence and worth have grown, and I’ve realized that waiting around for Christopher to figure out what he wants isn’t what I want at all.
I understand the quest for self-discovery, especially when you find your partner young.
But after being with Rhett, someone who’s proclaimed he would never share me with anyone if I were his, someone who has told me flat out that he wants me, someone I met when I was young and fumbling through life but never held that against me.
Someone who has always had my back and never judged my past. Well, I know I deserve that kind of love. Not one that isn’t sure.
As if he thinks I’m considering his offer, Christopher speaks again.
“Come back home with me, please. Your floor manager asked me to talk to you when I came down to visit. They’re desperate for support back in the Richmond ICU and she can get you out of your contract here early.
Give us a chance to see how things are if you go back to Richmond and we live in the same city.
Let’s go back to the way things used to be.
The way things were between us before we split up. ”
I want to laugh, because the way things used to be was never what Rhett and I have now. There was never any burning passion or desire. I didn’t feel protected, adored and considered.
Frankly, I didn’t feel safe.
I respect my manager back at the hospital.
She’s the one who hired me when I was fresh out of college, and if she wants me to come back a week early, I’ll consider it because it’s not a professional relationship that I’d want to lose over a week of work.
But I don’t respect Christopher or the way this conversation is going, and I’d need to hear it from my boss herself and not through a third-party messenger.
I take a deep breath and don’t hesitate when I say. “I’ve met someone new.”
He tilts back in the booth like I’ve slapped him. “What?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Is it the guy you were with last night?”
I don’t even know why he bothers asking.
He saw us kiss. We both know he did. And the audacity of him of all people to show up here and talk about putting our engagement back on after witnessing that?
It’s like a neon sign flashing how far apart we really are when it comes to honesty, fidelity, and what loyalty and trust actually means in a relationship.
“Yes. It was him. His name is Rhett, remember?”
His brows bunch. “Is it casual?”
I shake my head because though I’m not sure how Rhett feels, it doesn’t feel casual to me.
“No.”
“I… I see.”
I nod because that’s all that Christopher needs to know. There’s no point in bringing him into the details of what’s between Rhett and me. What’s always been between Rhett and me. It’s none of his business. I’m none of Christopher’s business anymore. And that thought has me smiling.
“Okay, well I’m going to go then,” he points over his shoulder, looking awkward as hell. And because I can’t stop thinking about Rhett and what we have, I smile harder.
“That sounds like a good idea.”