7. Griffin
Griffin
“When love is not madness, it is not love.” – Pedro Calderón de la Barca
T he evening chill has settled over our town, the ruckus wind over the ocean falling asleep for the night as the tiny twinkling stars litter the dark skies above.
I’ve always loved the nighttime, to stroll around the empty-ish streets and breathe with only the stars watching you.
I’ve always felt more comfortable at this time, because I don’t feel the nagging need to hide those parts of me—from myself included.
Don’t feel the need to be something I’m not.
Because no one can see when it’s dark. No one can tell I love walking barefoot or enjoy a meditation session.
Or that I burn sage here and there because I remember Julie telling me how important that was when I was like fifteen.
Or at least I used to. Before the persona I tried to be took over completely.
Why? Why did I try so hard to fit in with the rest of the world? It still chewed me up and spit me out the other way. It still stole so much from me. So why did I willingly give up parts of my soul for its sacrifice?
For Kimmy to like me.
For Cal and Luke to not to think of me as another local weirdo. To prove to the world that I’m not one.
Who the hell have I been fighting this whole time? And what does it say about the internal war I’ve fought for many years that when the time came, all I wanted was to come back here. To be surrounded by these streets, these buildings, these people…her.
I stopped dead in my tracks and look down at my feet. Ham or eggs…
Without hesitation, I take off my sneakers and socks, planting my bare feet on paved concrete. The cold bite of it sinking right into my soles, but with the chill also comes a wave of fresh breath and I gulp it up eagerly.
Damn, this feels good.
I just stand there, with no one around me, wiggling my toes across the dirty sidewalk and feel better than I have in days. But it isn’t until I see exactly where I’ve stopped that my heart starts beating faster.
Sip of Love is right across the street, its shimmery windows dark—but not lifeless as one would assume. No, even in the dead of night, Julie’s shop gives off that radiating warmth and a promise of a smile come morning light.
It’s only after I stand and watch the closed shop for what must been like half an hour that I lift my eyes up and suck in a sharp, hasty breath.
Julie …
There she is, sitting in the huge, propped open window, surrounded by an array of different pots filled with funky plants inside them. Her knees drawn up to her chest and her fiery curls tamed into a top knot, looking like a ray of sunshine in the darkest of nights, lost in her own world.
A world I’m beginning to feel desperate to be a part of.
As if sensing my eyes on her, she looks down and straightens her back from the slouching position. “Griffin?”
Crap. She caught me being a total creep. Her voice is barely audible, yet I hear it nonetheless and lift my hand up in an awkward wave.
“Hey.”
“See, people always underestimate lavender. They think it’s a perfume herb and nothing more.”
I blink. I almost forgot her tendency to throw out the most random thoughts out of nowhere, but it used to be one of my favorite things about her. I used to always wonder what was going on in that beautiful brain of hers.
“But it’s all powerful?” I ask.
“Well, it pushed you out of hiding in all of half a day since I brought it out.” There’s a small, satisfied smirk on her face. Something I’ve never seen before from her, and it’s hot.
Damn it, as if I needed any more reasons to be infatuated with the girl.
“That it did.” I smile back, stuffing my free hand into my pocket.
“Are you on a walk?” she asks, and I wish I could see her face—those green eyes and her smile.
“Something like that. I was at LPs with Alec and Jacob.” I throw my thumb backward toward the bar.
“That’s it.” She releases a surprised sound.
“What?” I frown.
“I’m going to Love Hive tomorrow to officially get a badge of honor.”
“For wh—” I don’t finish my own sentence when even in the darkness I see the mischievous sparkle in those green eyes. “Let me guess…for lavender?” I raise an eyebrow she can’t see but I sure as heck can hear her laugh that follows my deadpanned question.
A beautiful, bright sound just like a bird’s song after a long rainy day.
“Did you have fun?” Julie asks through the remainders of that laugh.
“Surprisingly, I did. Was that part of lavender’s magic too?”
“Oh, no that would be damiana. Want a batch?”
I’m shaking my head, chuckling at her teasing. We never had this before. This easy banter.
She was mostly running around Cal, Luke, and I, bothering us as all the younger sisters do I imagine. But this? This is nice.
Too nice.
“What are you doing up there?”
“I live here.” Julie smiles softly, laying her head on her knees, and I feel that smile pierce right through me once again.
Retreat, Griffin. Go home. You shouldn’t stand here . She has a boyfriend . And you're still confused.
But before I can listen to my sane thoughts, she calls out, “Would you like to come up?”
And the idiot who’s apparently hung up on his best friend’s little sister takes over, nodding with unhinged enthusiasm.
Way to keep it cool, Griffin. I sigh again.
Friends. We can be friends. She’s friends with Jacob and it doesn’t interfere with her love life. I can do that.
Way to lie to yourself, Griffin .
“There’s a staircase around the back,” she instructs, and I make my way around the yellow building, taking two colorful stone steps at a time, as if I'm in a race.
When I climb up, Julie is already standing at the front door, and I nearly miss the last few steps when the sight of her bare legs greets me.
Jesus Christ…I didn’t realize she was barely wearing anything when she was sitting at her window. Okay, fine, it’s not barely anything, it’s a long ish , oversized hunter green T-shirt that looks perfect on her pearly white skin. But the problem is, it’s barely hitting her mid-thigh.
I slow my moves as my greedy eyes eat up the forbidden sight in front of me and when I finally manage to drag my eyes up, I nearly trip and fall down those stairs behind me because of-fucking-course she’s not wearing a bra. Her small razor-sharp nipples poking right through the cotton material
Why would she?
It’s so much better to torture me than her breasts…
Fuck.
She’s not available, think of that. She has a boyfriend.
Yeah, fuck no. I won’t think of that.
If I thought resisting my best friend’s little sister was hard at eighteen…I’m most certainly fucked now.
Think of Callum and all the ways he’ll kill you if you touch his little sister. He told you to never look at her. Did he somehow know that I’d be lost in her all these years later?
Somehow, it doesn’t have the same desired effect as it did back then.
“Well, look at that! Not only did my magical lavender forced you out of hiding but it made you come up all the way here.” The little minx hides her joke behind an almost innocent face.
Almost! Because there’s nothing innocent about the way she’s taunting me with her body right now. Nothing innocent to the way my dick is reacting.
Hell…this day is pure hell. I shift, trying to mask what’s happening behind my zipper right now.
“What can I say? I think you found my weakness. Please don’t tell the enemies.”
Julie laughs. That same free kind of laugh.
“Why would I give up that kind of ammunition when I might need to use it myself.” I can finally see that playful spark in her eyes and it’s not helping at all.
“Wait till I bring you some turmeric. That little devil will cleanse you so well, you just might ask me to marry you. Can you imagine explaining that one to Callum?” She laughs, throwing her head back.
“At least we’ll have something to blame, right?
Sweet daisies, Griffin…you’re barefoot?”
Julie’s gaze is locked on my feet while my mind is trying hard as hell to keep calm right now.
Mind and…other body parts.
Sixteen years…sixteen damn years of running and here we are.
“Um…yeah, I guess I am.” I rub the back of my neck while blinking rapidly as her eyes lock in on my feet. I completely forgot about it. That’s how rattled this girl has me.
“Why?” Julie asks, tilting her head but not lifting it up to my eyes.
I swallow hard, grateful she couldn’t see. “I…I liked to do it from time to time,” I admit because I know I can. To her, I can.
“You do?” She finally snaps her head up, those mossy eyes, so wide they’re about to pop.
“Mm-hmm,” I hum, hoping she drops the subject at that, and thankfully after a few seconds, she does.
“Please, come in. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you out.” Julie’s cheek flush slightly as she turns and walks inside. Who would’ve thought it was possible for my dick to get any harder right now from that alone.
How deep does it run? How bright would it get when I had her underneath me, my cock pushing…
Nope…I don’t need to know that, I chastise myself as I follow her into her home. Or rather, I follow the tantalizing curve of her ass that’s barely hidden beneath that shirt.
Miraculously, my attention is pulled away from her body and toward her home. Her uniquely Julie home with potted plants anywhere you look, tasteful, colorful furniture with cozy throw blankets and pillows everywhere. Clearly thrifted and given a new life in her home.
The space is small but very well organized with each room flowing into the next one until it all ends in her kitchen and that large, picturesque window I found her sitting at.
No wonder she was so lost in her thoughts with a view like this. I step closer and immediately get lost in the sight of the night ocean with that single beam of moonlight, slicing it in half.
“Wow, Julie, this is amazing,” I say in awe.