16. Griffin
Griffin
“Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” – Sandra Bullock
S he’s gone. I know it the second she disappears from Grace’s porch because the air around me is no longer warm and there isn’t a hint of cherries in the air.
It’s bland.
Without her, everything is bland.
I thought three months would be enough to get Julie out of my mind. I promised myself I would because other options aren’t available to me. Yet here I am, looking for any excuse to see her without being obvious.
Jesus, I’m so messed up I don’t even know which way is up anymore.
“Stop turning around, she’s gone and you’re just wasting wave after wave.” When I don’t turn my head back toward him, he adds, “Jesus, I can’t even call you a secret stalker anymore because you’ve become so obvious. What’d you do to run her off?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Mm-hmm, go sell that bullshit somewhere else.” Okay, so I’m not obvious to anyone other than Luke Colson. The Luke Colson. My best friend and now the new chief of LCFD, after Frank Lovehill decided to retire two months ago.
To say I was shocked to see him back in a town he swore to never step foot back in was the understatement of the year, but I’m damn happy about it. Most of the time. When he’s not calling me out on my shit—which is practically every damn day now that he’s happily in love.
And I’m ecstatic for him and Grace. Truly. They’ve had one hell of a ride that started two years ago all the way in New York and crossed the finish line here, in Loverly Cave, when Gracie drove into town wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah…it was a shit show for a second there but I’m not one to talk, as Luke kindly likes to remind me. And as much as I hate to admit it, he isn’t wrong.
My life is a twisted fuckery while everyone around me is living out their happily ever afters.
Everyone around me has seemed to settle down in a matter of weeks. Everyone’s life is progressing while my google search history is loaded with: best cat breeds, cool cat names, lavender watering schedule, and more along the same lines.
It’s getting more and more depressing as the days go on.
I cast another glance toward the cottage. Where did she go? I only came out here today because Luke hinted that girls like to watch them surf. The asshole knew what he was doing with throwing that comment my way and I took the bait like the desperate fool I was.
But fuck! What else was I supposed to do?
I couldn’t have her. Not when things got that serious with her and Owen three months ago.
God, I could only imagine how much closer they might be getting toward engagement, wedding and babies and a dark, painful shiver runs down my spine.
Yeah, glimpses are as good as it gets and I hate it.
“There’s a good one,” Luke yells out but by the time I turn back around, the wave he left for me to take, was no more than a soft curve.
Julie has the best soft curves…
“God, this is getting pathetic. Why don’t you just ask her out finally?” Luke offers.
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
“Griffin, brother, you either have to go after her or let it all go. This isn’t normal. You can keep stalking her like a creep in a cheesy horror film.”
“I already tried the ham way. It didn’t work. And I don’t like eggs either. So, kindly fuck off with your helpful advice.”
Luke stares at me, his lips puckered and after a beat he says, “Yeah, no. I don’t want to know what all of that means because I can only assume it came from opossum one and two.” He gestures toward his brother, Alec, and Jacob.
I should ask Jacob if there’s a third option? Something between ham and eggs?
Because I tried to forget her. I tried to avoid Julie at all costs but she’s everywhere.
And most of all in my thoughts. I can’t get her smile, her scent, her song-like voice out of my mind.
I can’t look at any other women and not see her with that fiery hair, plush lips, freckles over the bridge of her nose and the sunshine that radiates off her like the brightest light.
She’s in my heart. She’s in there too deep. So no there’s no walking away.
And there’s no future. I’ve known it since the second Owen mentioned dinner with his parents.
My dreams crashed and burned right there on the spot when she confirmed it. Just like that, before it even started, the game was over.
“You know she’s dating someone else,” I tell Luke bitterly.
“Oh my God, we are back to that. I told you, I haven’t seen her with anyone and even if she is, you fight.
You never stop fighting, damn it! If I had the chance to go back to two years ago, to the day Grace walked into my bar with that prick, I’d piss all over her if I had to.
I’d do whatever the fuck it took to avoid the misery that was the next two years without her. ”
“It’s not that easy.”
Luke lets out a sardonic half laugh. “It never is, Griff.”
“I won’t be the reason she breaks up with him. It might never even work between us, and she’ll blame me for losing Owen! Not to mention Cal, he’ll plain simple kill me for this shit.”
“Do you see Callum anywhere here?”
“That’s not the point!”
“No, you’re right, it’s not.” Luke shakes his head. “Chickenshit. There, I finally found the perfect nickname for your sorry ass.”
“Love you too, asshole,” I bite out, turning my board around toward the beach.
“Where are you going? We just got started!”
“And my feathers are soaked enough.”
“Luke,” I grit out.
“Yeah?” He doesn’t even look up from his desk, pretending to be hard at work when I know for a fact there’s nothing to do because I did it all this morning when I came in earlier than I was supposed to from the beach.
“Are you going to go get it?”
“Are you going to admit it?” he challenges.
I run my tongue over my teeth. Hell no, I won’t, but also, I really want my fix. Need it and the asshole knows it and now dangles it over my face like a carrot.
“Luke!”
“Nope! Not before you admit it!”
“I hate you. There, happy now?” I pull a sarcastic smile on my face.
“Nope. Try again.”
“I seriously hate you,” I mutter under my breath. “Whatever, I’ll go ask someone else.” I turn and head for the door.
“Sure, you can try that,” he says casually. Too casually, and I stop, slowly turning on my heels.
“What did you do?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.
Luke finally looks up, leaning back in his chair with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Finally used my authority for something good, like forbidding everyone from going to Sip of Love for your drink.”
“Why, God?” I tip my head up, throwing my arms up for good measure too. “What have I done to deserve this asshole for a friend?”
“Psh, it’s called a blessing, idiot.”
“More like a fucking curse. Undo it!” I demand. “How am I supposed to get my coffee every day?”
“Um, how about the way we all do? By going to the damn shop yourself .” He enunciates. “Or at least admit it you are a chickenshit and I’ll go for you. Today,” he adds.
I’m just about to curse him ten ways to Sunday when a familiar voice sounds from behind me.
“There are my boys.” Lily Lovinski is standing there with a warm, motherly smile on her face, one that is painfully similar to her daughter’s.
I might’ve barely seen her since I came back but growing up the way we did, all three of us constantly hanging out at each other’s houses, Lily and Nina became like my second and third set of mother figures. As mine was for my friends.
Both Luke and I greet her with smiles, and she wraps us into smothering hugs, planting kisses on our foreheads.
Nope, in Lily Lovinski’s eyes we will never be a day over ten. That’s when we started refusing her forehead kisses because we thought we were too cool for it.
The joke’s on us.
“Hey, Lily,” Luke and I say in unison and her smile grows as does a glassy sheen in her eyes. It’s there for her son. Because we found our way back home, but Cal might never do the same.
“Thank goodness I’ve found you!” She quickly sobers up, pushing the sadness away. I always admired her for it. About Julie too.
“What happened?” Luke jumps in, worry creasing his features, mirroring my own.
“Wipe those looks off your faces. I’m not dying but I do need one of you to come help me move some old boxes around.”
Both of us instantly relax.
“I can be there tomorrow morning after my shift, Lily,” I tell her.
“Oh.” Her face falls. “I was really needing some help today. Tomorrow we are having a spiritual meeting in our attic with the girls. Jenny wants to practice some new spells.” Lily claps her hands excitedly as Luke quietly mutters, “Lord help us all.”
“But it’s filled with memories,” Lily continues. “And I need them moved to the new shed on our backyard.”
“I don’t remember you having a shed up there,” Luke muses, and I don’t have any recollection of that either.
“Yeah, I need that as well.”
“You need what?” I ask, slightly afraid I may already know the answer.
“The shed.” Lily smiles sweetly, batting her eyelashes at us.
“Today?” Luke deadpans.
“Mm-hmm. I thought if I could ask anyone, it’d be my two loyal sons. Since the one I’ve birthed for thirty-two hours left me all alone.”
Damn you, Callum . I groan inwardly and see Luke do the same.
She had to pull the sons card. Lily might be small and sweet and look like she won’t hurt a fly but do not underestimate the woman.
She’ll have you on your back without as much as one punch.
And if we don’t go with her willingly right now, she’ll resort to “I still remember the day you took your first steps.”
“But if you can’t. I guess that’s all right, don’t worry about it. Dean’s already started on it, so I’m sure there’s not much left to do.”
This time we both groan out loud.
“Lily, call him right now and tell him to stop immediately! And step away,” Luke stresses. “Actually, tell him to get off the property all together.”