23. Julie
Julie
"I want to touch the parts of you no one else has touched. I want to own the piece of you that has yet to be discovered. So stop resisting. Let go. Let it happen.” – David Hollan in Requested Surrender
T he pillow beneath me moves slightly, tugging me out from the most delicious dream ever. Why is it moving? I’m not ready to wake up yet.
Nope, I’m going back to sleep. I go to tuck the pillow back beneath my head but instead of my fluffy, cotton bedmate, my hands are met with hard, warm ridges and soft hair.
Skin and abs and hair. Oh, sweet daisies, I’m touching skin and abs and hair. My whole body stiffens immediately as my heartrate picks up.
What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?
I don’t sleep with random guys. Who is in my bed?
Oh God…I squeeze my eyes, trying to think back to last night but I don’t get far when a voice calls out my name.
“Julie?”
My eyes fly open comically fast.
That’s Griffin’s voice. I can’t mistake it. But why is Griffin’s voice in my bed. Wait, am I in my bed?
I scan the ceiling above, yep, that looks like my ceiling. Don’t ask how I know. I’d just know my ceiling out of a million.
Damn it, Julie, wrong thing to focus on right now. I let out a falsely calm breath reluctantly, and push away from his warm body as I fall onto my back to lay next to Griffin. Not on top.
On top was so much better, in case you were wondering.
I wish I could say I don’t remember how we got here, but just like that I do. At least to a certain point.
“We slept together,” Griffin states, and as if on cue I feel the soreness in between my legs.
I lift the sheet, eyeing both of our naked bodies and his most impressive morning wood and with a stifled whimper, lower it. “Yep. Seems like it. Now you have to marry me.”
“What?” Griffin squeaks, yet neither one of us has turned to face the other, opting to watch my beautiful ceiling instead.
“Like a respectful gentleman, you’re supposed to marry me now that you defiled me. Many times. So, so, so many times.” I continue in a calm, hushed voice. Don’t ask how I manage it, it’s a superpower when I’m anything but.
Well, it’s not really a superpower, it’s a way to mask the hurt that is about to come crushing down when Griffin leaves.
“I…we…well…” He stumbles over his words, and I decide to put him out of his misery.
“Relax, I’m just kidding,” I say and get up, pushing the sheet off my body in search of some clothes.
Where are all of my clothes? I’d settle on a sock at this point but there’s nothing in sight. And that’s when I notice all the articles thrown around the entrance. And the parted front door. Looks like we left that one open in our drunken haze.
“They look like ripe cherries and I loveeee cherries,” he tells me.
“Cherries…do they taste like cherries?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then find out.”
“That’s a great idea.” His lips wrap around my nipple…
Right…that’s how my crop top landed on the floor before we even entered.
The memory hit me suddenly and all too vividly. Along with the feel of his mouth on my breasts. His lips on my skin as he kissed up every inch of me.
That was real. All real…
With a resigned sigh and a realization that I’ll have to walk to my closet naked, I stand up and almost fall right back down. Oh God, I think he broke my vagina.
Yet…it feels so good. Even hours later, I remember exactly how that thick cock of his felt spearing me in two, thrusting deep. Hard. Relentless.
Of course, Griffin has a monster cock. Of course! And of course, it’d be my luck to remember every second of last night.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“To work.” I have no idea what time it is but based on the sunlight streaming through my windows I’d say Lia had to open the shop and serve the morning rush all by herself. Still refusing to look at him, I pad over to the closet.
Unfortunately, my apartment is small, and my closet is right next to my bed.
“Julie! Don’t you think we should talk?” Griffin asks as I pull out one of my long T-shirts.
“I don’t think I can handle another drinking session right now.” Although, to my utter surprise, I don’t feel like I’ve drank. There’s not a trace of a hangover. Huh.
“What? Why would we drink?”
“Because last night our talking started with a drink.”
“Okay, I admit that was a bad idea.”
I can’t see his face, but I can feel the wince he’s wearing on it right now. Because next, he has to tell me that this was a bad idea.
I let out a long sigh and turn around. Time to face the music.
Ah, sweet daisies, why does he look like that in the morning?
I swallow the whimper at the sight of his messy, bed hair sticking into different directions.
His naked torso with tiny nail marks…courtesy of yours truly…
Those abs so well defined especially it’s unnatural and his intense brown eyes on me.
“It’s fine, Griff. I know this wasn’t what you wanted, we got drunk and…and I promise to keep it between us.”
“Um, what?”
“The talk. We just had it. We’re good.” I turn back toward my clothes. Not that I want to stop looking at him, I need to turn back around because I feel those tears gathering at the corners of my eyes.
There’s no need to walk around it, the faster these words were out in the open the faster I can start putting the pieces of my heart back together.
But honestly, at this point, is there even a point in doing that?
Hurriedly, I find a pair of my boho lounge pants and thank the universe that they happen to be my most cheerful ones. I need all these colorful flowers to keep me from losing it.
I slept with Griffin Owling.
And it was the best night of my life.
“Julie.” He calls out my name, but I ignore it as a lone tear escapes me.
I should change out of this huge T-shirt.
“Little J.” There goes another one…
Nope, screw it, I’ll be extra fashionable this morning. Lia already thinks I dress like a homeless person on crack, this won’t surprise her.
But before I can take a step toward the door, two strong arms circle my body from behind.
“Julie, talk to me,” he says as the warmth of his skin seeps through the thin layer of clothing I have on, but I can’t talk.
I can’t. So, I just shake my head as another sob escapes me and doesn’t go unnoticed by Griffin.
There is a low curse and then he turns me around to face him.
“You don’t want to talk, fine, then look at me, Julie.
” Griffin stops talking as soon as he sees my face and his whole body sags, his eyes softening as he brings them to my eye level.
Both his hands cradling my face. “Birdy, why are you crying? This isn’t something you wanted, is it?
I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, Julie. I messed up.
I got so nervous and got us drunk and I fucked up.
I’m sorry. I’ll leave if that’s what you want, just please don’t cry, baby.
Tears don’t belong on your beautiful face. ”
What is he talking about? Why is he saying those things? Why does he sound like he’s in pain while his eyes are full of longing? None of this makes sense and I’ve never seen Griffin act this way.
“I-I don’t understand,” I stammer through the tears.
“What don’t you understand, little J?” He wipes another tear off my cheek with the back of his hand.
“Any of it. Why aren’t you saying it was a mistake?”
“Because it was the furthest thing from one.”
“What?” I breathe out, feeling that little crease forming in between my brows. The one Griffin reaches over to smooth out with his thumb. We stay quiet for a moment, him just caressing my face, smoothing out any confused lines on it and me, searching his for any answers.
Griffin wrapped the sheet from the bed around his waist when he got up, but other than that, he’s naked. Naked and holding me. In my house. After we had sex. After we got drunk and had hot, incredible, naughty sex. After he said that I wasn’t a mistake.
Because that’s what he said, right?
Maybe I’m still drunk…
I’m still searching his eyes, my heart hammering out of my chest when Griffin presses his lips to my forehead and says, “You are wild, gorgeous, unpredictable, brutally yourself and the brightest ray of sunshine with a heart of gold.” He smiles, reaching over to tuck in a wayward hair behind my ear.
“You are also slightly forbidden and slightly my best friend’s little sister I wasn’t supposed to touch… but you were never a mistake.”
“Sweet daisies.” My breath leaves my body. Why is he saying all these perfect words? Did I die and wake up in heaven? Good to know I was doing something right with my life that I ended up here. “Griffin…I-I still don’t understand.”
“I’ve wanted to call you mine for a long time, Birdy.”
“But…but you avoided me all this time.” Griffin is shaking his head with a pained expression.
“Well, when we were kids, I was an idiot. But when I came back, I had to. I had to if I wanted to survive because somehow, in the span of a few weeks, you found your way back under my skin. Something I didn’t think was possible, but I should’ve known better.
You were always the best at anything you touched.
Why would my heart be any different?” His mouth curls into a lop-sided smile before it drops again.
“Last night…when I saw you at LP’s I thought I might lose it.
There you were so heart-stoppingly beautiful in one of your handmade skirts…
and not mine. I had no idea you’d be my blind date.
None. Because I was sure there was no way.
You had Owen. But then…then you said you were single, and I felt the floor drop from beneath my feet and I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings that crashed over me.
” Griffin takes a long breath and exhales it slowly, gathering his thoughts. “Last night I handled it all wrong.”