Chapter 45 Cole
Cole
I flew straight from Rome to an airfield in Yorkshire. When I knocked on Charlotte’s door, Reuben answered.
His face lit in a beaming smile. “Boss-man! We were just talking about you. Lottie took me to Nando’s. Have you ever had it? I’m very into the rainbow slaw—”
“What can I do for you, Cole?” Charlotte joined Reuben at the door. She folded her arms and looked right through me.
“Can we talk?” I flashed a meaningful look at Reuben.
Miraculously, Reuben actually took the hint and jumped into action.
“I’d better leave you to it.”
Charlotte frowned. “You don’t have to go just because he says so.”
“It’s fine. I need to get back. Fist bump?” He bumped her fist with his.
“Fist bump, Bro?”
He held out his fist to me with a hopeful expression. I was beginning to wonder whether I’d got him wrong. Maybe he really was just a puppy looking for friends. Maybe I’d been wrong about a lot of things.
I bumped his fist with mine. “You get one of these. Never ask me to fist-bump again. Thank you for escorting my wife home safely.”
Reuben flashed his un-Thorner-like friendly grin. “No problem.”
He headed up the drive and turned back. “Golf again soon?”
He looked so hopeful I couldn’t say no. “Fine.”
“Bring Lucas and Theo?”
“I can ask Lucas. Theo is a long shot.”
“I’m sure we’ll get him out.” He beamed and rubbed his hands together. “I have a good feeling about it.”
Charlotte sighed and headed back into the house. “Come in then. I’m giving you formal permission to cross the threshold.”
We both avoided the armchairs. Charlotte sat on the sofa, and I stood at the window, giving her space.
“I understand why you left.”
She studied the ornaments on the mantelpiece. “You do?”
“This situation with my father has gone on for too long. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to get back at him.
It’s made me petty and vindictive, and the hotel pushed me to the edge.
It’s done, I promise. I don’t want a divorce.
I want the opposite. We could have been spending the day together.
I made a mistake. Why don’t we go back now?
The jet is waiting. Let’s finish the honeymoon. ”
“I don’t want to go back to Rome,” she said quietly.
“Then let’s go somewhere else. Anywhere. Somewhere less hectic. We can relax on a beach together.”
She walked to the glass doors and peered out at the back garden. “What happened with the hotel?”
“Gabe is selling to my father.”
“So you lost?” She nodded her head slowly. “You lost out on the hotel, and now you’re coming to me as your second choice?”
“No, I knew as soon as you left how badly I’d fucked up. I don’t care about the hotel. You’re right. I’ve spent all this time being like my father. I don’t want to be.”
She wouldn’t turn around. She pressed her fingertips to the glass doors. “I’ll give you the money back that you gave Tiff for this house. But it may take a while for the sale to go through. I’ll pay you back for all of it: the clothes and the jewelry.”
“I don’t care about any of that. I just want you.”
I watched her reflection in the glass. Her expression was calm, composed, and emotionless. No tears or anger. This was something much worse. Indifference.
“I’m sorry, but it’s over. For good. I want out. I should never have agreed in the first place.”
Over? She couldn’t mean that. She had to give me a chance to put this right. A blackbird landed on the overgrown lawn and pecked at the grass, plucking out a worm. My chest ached so much, it may as well have been pecking out my heart.
“Give me another chance. Let me be your husband for real. Let me take this seriously. You were right. People aren’t born to create or destroy. They just make choices. Let me choose to put this right. I’ll make it up to you. I want to be the husband you deserve. Anything you ask of me, I’ll do it.”
Her eyes flickered to a stack of fading board games on the sideboard.
“Do you remember that time when we were playing Scrabble, and I was winning? When you got up to go for a drink, you accidentally knocked the board onto the floor. You’ve never liked to lose.
This is no different.” Her voice was flat.
“For all I know, you’d say anything to save face.
You just want me so you have another shot at your deal. ”
Frustration made my voice terse. “No. That’s not what this is.
I don’t care about the deal or what anyone thinks.
I don’t want you as my wife because it makes me look good.
I want you as my wife because life feels meaningless without you.
Nothing else matters. I’ve never loved anyone else, and I never will for as long as I live.
Only you. It was always you. You are everything to me, Charlotte. ”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Always me, huh? Then why didn’t you ever call me when you left here? Why didn’t you reply to my emails? You kissed me and said all those things to me. Do you know how much it hurt me? To be ignored. I felt like you hated me, and I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong.”
One of Roy’s photos stared down at me from the wall. I’d loved him. He’d been a father to me. I couldn’t betray his memory. It wasn’t right. “Because I was young and selfish. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
She drew a breath and turned to face me.
“You did. Then and now. It has to end. I’ll never tell anyone about the contract.
But please don’t make this divorce harder than it needs to be.
Let’s get it done swiftly so we can both move on.
It’s just an admin task. At least this time it’s one without an audience. ”
“Divorce? You don’t really want that. I can’t leave you here. Come back with me.”
“Why? So you can dump me in the middle of nowhere again with your housekeeper to babysit me?”
My fingers itched to reach for her, but I didn’t dare. Instead, I placed my fingertips lightly next to hers on the glass. “No. So that I can look after you. To love and to cherish. From this day forward.”
“This was a farce from day one. You’ve never wanted a wife. You wanted an employee.”
“I was a fool.”
She shook her head and let her hand drop to her side. “If you care about me as much as you claim, then you’ll leave me alone. Let me move on. Please. This has to end.”
She was so cold and composed. So strong. Something was cracking inside of me. A hairline fracture splitting wide open and she didn’t even care.
“This has been a terrible couple of years. I want to heal, Cole.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to help you with. I want to bring you joy.”
She held herself rigid and composed. “I have to bring myself joy, too. I have to protect myself.”
Because I’m something to be endured. “From me?”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “You hurt me. You’re going to keep hurting me if I allow it. It’s better for both of us if we don’t see each other again. I won’t cause you any bother with the divorce. Let’s just get it done quickly.”
The words landed in my chest like fists.
She was looking at me like I was a stranger.
The way she’d looked at me when I saw her again at Roy’s funeral.
A huge surge of anxiety stole my breath.
She meant it. This was over. Deals went in my favor, but this was collapsing, and I had no idea how to salvage it.
I could tell her the truth about Roy, but it would only hurt her more, and it might not even be enough.
He wasn’t around to explain himself or defend his corner.
It wasn’t right. A promise was a promise. I only wanted to make her life better.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry.” I sank to my knees. My hands were trembling as I took both of her hands in mine. “Please.”
I didn’t know what I was begging for. Forgive me. Please know how much I want to make this right. Please say you love me, too.
Her voice was quiet and strained. “Get up. Please, don’t make it worse.”
Unsteadily, I stood.
She withdrew her hands and her eyes slipped away. Her sigh was the most final sound I’d ever heard. “I’m sorry. I really need you to leave now.”