Chapter 16
Sixteen
Jasmin
In hindsight, a ride that spins individually while also spinning in a circle probably wasn’t the best idea even if it was fun.
We went on a couple more tame rides, but as the sky darkens, he pulls me toward the ferris wheel.
“Um, I have an irrational fear of heights.” I point at the ride in question. “Are these things even safe considering how quickly they put them up and take them down for fairs?”
“I’ve never really thought about it. I won’t let anything happen to you, though.” All I can do is nod. “If you don’t want to ride it, we don’t have to.”
“No, it’s fine. I have you here to help me conquer this fear.” If I’m being honest, I’ve ridden more rides here than I have in my entire life. I’ve always been the responsible one who holds everyone’s stuff as they ride. Tonight is all about being reckless, and not having to take care of anyone.
We’re next up to ride and the attendant waits until we’re on the chair to press the bar down. He does it again to test it and my entire body tenses.
Parker wraps his arm around my shoulder and reaches for my hand with his free one. It’s sweet he’s shielding me from my own fears. The wild part is I think it’s working. Until the seat moves forward and I glance at the ground moving away from us.
He lets go of my hand and gently grabs my chin, turning my face toward his. “Focus on me.”
Those three words are all I need to relax. For once someone is taking care of me, and it soothes something in me. Mends a tiny part of what I know is broken within me.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Grounding me.”
He lends toward me, his lips soft against mine. This is nothing like the one beside his truck the other night. It’s unrushed and full of an emotion I can’t quite name. Lust isn’t it. Something sweeter. It reminds of the kisses in movies when the couple realizes how much they mean to each other.
It’s too early for that, though. Besides, nothing about us is real. The way is mouth molds to mine tells a different story. Like I’m important, or something fragile he won’t let anyone break.
The chair stops with a sudden jerk and I pull away. My eyes are squeezed shut because I’m certain we’re about to fall to our death.
“I’m right here, Jasmin.”
“I know.”
Slowly, I open my eyes. I can see the Dallas skyline from here. I’ve never seen it like this before and it’s pretty magical.
“Now, look up.”
I do. Once I push away the lights from the festival, I see stars twinkling in the night sky. There are no tall buildings to obstruct the view. For the first time in my life I feel like there’s something bigger than me and I don’t have to carry the burden for everyone.
“It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen the stars so clearly.”
“This is why I wanted to bring you on the ferris wheel.” I glance at him before returning my eyes to the sky. “Because in this moment there’s nothing for you to worry about or stress over. No wedding or kitchen that needs to be cleaned. Just us. A small piece of silence in a massive universe.”
A tiny part of me wonders if this is just a line, but I know in my gut he means every word. He’s showing me he understands me in ways nobody else has. I don’t think he realizes the gift he’s given me today.
The ding of my phone breaks the moment. I glance at the screen to see a test from Daniela.
Daniela: We’re heading out. Let me know when you’re on your way home.
“Is everything okay?” Parker asks as the ferris wheel moves backward and we begin our descent.
“Yeah, my sister’s leaving.”
“Do you need to go?”
“No.” I hesitate before asking the next question. It’s too soon to be feeling what I am considering we’re dating to keep our families off our backs, but I can’t deny the connection I feel to him. “Actually, is it okay if I stay the night?”
I’m second guessing my request. Not because I don’t want to be here with Parker, but because I have to keep reminding myself this is supposed to be fake. I’m not supposed to feel anything for him. But every time we talk, or are together, that line becomes blurred.
“Is everything okay?” Parker sits next to me.
“Yep.” I nod. “Just taking in how the day has gone.”
“Please don’t tell me if you hated it. I don’t think my ego could take the hit.” He clutches his hands to his chest.
“Don’t be dramatic.” I smack his leg. “Today was amazing. I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun.”
Or had someone take care of me and put my wants first.
“Whew, I was worried you thought our little town fair was silly. I make fun of Asheville, a lot, but I’m proud of it. Does that make sense?”
He sets his wine glass on the table and leans back into the corner of the sofa.
“Yeah, it does. It’s good that you have a close-knit community. I don’t even know most of our neighbors.”
“Wow. I run into old teachers on a weekly basis.”
He moves closer to me the distance between us smaller and smaller.
“I’m actually glad I don’t have that problem.” Hopefully we get off this subject soon. I hated high school. It wasn’t an easy time for me.
He must notice because he grabs his glass. “Sorry if I seemed pushy today with all the rides.”
“Honestly, it was nice not having to make any decisions.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m the one everyone in the family turns to when something needs to get done. Or, when they can’t make up their mind. It’s exhausting.”
“I’m glad I could take that burden off your shoulders, even if it was only for a day.”
“So, really, I should be the one thanking you. If only all my days were this easy. I know when I get home tomorrow Daniela will have wedding stuff to talk about.”
“Well, tonight you don’t have to worry about anything wedding related. It’s just me and you.” He runs his fingers along my thigh.
“Are you sure this is a smart decision?” I should stop his hand from moving further up my leg, but I don’t. Being with Parker feels right. Like it’s inevitable, no matter how hard we try to fight it. Fake or not, we can’t deny the chemistry between us.
“Not at all.” He answers before setting his glass on the table.
I do the same and move closer to him. Right now, I need to let him know I’m one hundred percent on board. There’s no doubt in my mind that we probably shouldn’t do this. But damn it. Both of us are grown and can get what we want.
Before he can make the first move, I do. My arms are around his neck and my lips crash into his. He’s the only one I feel safe enough to take what I want and not feel bad about it. Time and time again he’s shown me what it’s like to be taken care of and be put first.
His fingers are rough against my hips as he slides me onto his lap, closing any distance between us. His hands slide to my butt as he pulls me closer still and I can feel him stiff below me. I guess it didn’t take as much coaxing as I thought it would. I’m not complaining, though.
Before I can do anything else, Parker pulls away. “Hold on.”
“D-did I do something wrong?” Fear courses through me. I’m so dumb. It was a horrible idea to try anything. How embarrassing.
“Not at all. But you deserve more than getting fucked on a couch.”
“Oh.”
He makes sure I have a tight grip on him before he stands and carries me down the hall to his bedroom. I wouldn’t have minded staying on the sofa, but the bed is probably much more comfortable.
It’s pitch black in his room and he switches on a small lamp beside his bed as he sets me on the bed. It’s not bright, but adds a soft glow. “Is this better?”
“Yeah.” It almost feels romantic. I don’t want to voice it because I worry it’ll break the mood.
He pulls his shirt over his head and throws it behind him. It takes him a few seconds to remove his jeans and he’s standing in front of me in nothing but his boxers. I want to run my fingers along the ridges in his abs.
He reaches forward to lift the bottom of my shirt, but I’ve already beat him to it. I don’t want to give myself a chance to second guess this. Or think about all the ways it could ruin everything.
As soon as my shirt is off, he undoes the button of my shorts, and the zipper is loud in the quiet room as he slides it down. I lean on my hands and lift my hips for him to pull them off. At least I remembered to wear cute underwear today…just in case.
Parker gets down on his knees and slides his hands up my legs. A trail of electricity buzzes along my skin. I knew I didn’t imagine the sparks last time. His fingers grip the sides of my panties and he slides them down.
“If at any point you want me to stop, please tell me.” He words are a whisper in the quiet house.
“Okay.” What else am I supposed to say? I don’t want him to stop.
His lips move along my calves, then my thighs, until he’s fully between my legs and his tongue caresses my clit. I relish the feel of his slow teasing. Most of the guys I’ve been with skip this part entirely. They want me to give them head, but never reciprocate.
It’s nice to be put first. Something I’m not used to. His fingers grip my thighs as I squirm beneath him. His slips one finger into me, pumping in and out to coax out my release. It doesn’t take long. I haven’t been with anyone since I was with him.
Even after that night, I knew I was a goner. There’s nobody who can compare to him. And it’s not about the sex. Not entirely. It’s everything about him. His personality and the ability to make me laugh. Not many people can do that.
He kisses along my torso toward my mouth. When our lips meet, I can taste myself. I try to push him away. To return the favor.
He stops long enough to whisper. “Tonight is all about you.” He reaches behind him and opens a drawer. Within seconds he has what he was reaching for and a package is being opened above my head.
I could interrupt him. Say something funny, but I don’t want to break this moment. Parker is in control tonight, and I’m going with the flow.
The one thing I do is help him slide the condom over his length and take pleasure in the moan that escapes his lips.
He slides into me and just like the last time we were together, we are in perfect harmony.
Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, and if the thought of giving myself over to someone didn’t terrify me, I know we could be forever.
It’s that thought that has me pulling him closer and hiding my face in his shoulder as we rock back and forth together. Taking pleasure in this moment, right now. It might be the last time, or one of many. I can’t think too much on it. Not when we’re together based on a lie.
Parker picks up speed and his thumb is circling my clit. I see fireworks and bite back all the things I want to say but can’t. He follows soon after and wraps me in his arms as he lies down beside me.
I need to clean up, but for now, I’ll soak up being embraced by him. Feeling like for the first time I’m someone’s first choice without them needing anything from me.