27. Barrett
27
BARRETT
I heard what my brother said. While it was horrible, and I was glad he got away, Jordan’s words about Marshall living in his building were rocketing around my brain.
“I’ll go pack a few things,” my brother said.
“Hold up,” I interjected. “You’re seriously going to live with Jordan?” Was he out of his mind? I understood the reasoning behind it, just not the reality of my brother doing it.
“You heard what he said,” Marshall replied. “Whoever this guy is knows my name and where I live. Soon, he’ll know what your job is. We’re not safe here. You should come too.”
Before I could say hell no to that, Jordan jumped in. “Barrett’s not allowed to sleep in my building while he remains employed by the East Dremest PD, unless his life is on the line, and even then, it’s debatable. Don’t forget who I am. I cannot have him staying under the same roof as my family, not because I think he'll hurt them. It’s because of what could happen should people he works with find out.”
Jordan was buffering his words for my brother’s sake. The truth was he couldn't trust me. I didn't blame him since I couldn't fully trust him either.
“Then I’m not going.” Marshall crossed his arms.
I was close enough where I could see he still shook from his encounter with that motherfucker. My brother was trying to put on a brave face.
I didn’t know what to do. If he stayed here, he could be hurt or worse. If he went with Jordan, I couldn’t be with him.
I was startled as a hand slid into mine. Looking down, I noticed Reghan was closer and offering me comfort.
“Do you trust me?” he asked. There was so much more to his question though. It went far deeper than this one topic.
Did I think we were going somewhere?
Was I able to put my life in his hands and that of my brother?
Could we really do this? Have a relationship?
Could I trust Jordan to protect Marshall?
I’d heard what Jordan said earlier about there coming a day when I’d have to make a choice. This was the first step, me putting my trust in Reghan, not Jordan. Reghan wouldn’t allow anything to happen to Marshall, nor would he put him in danger.
I squeezed his hand. “I do.”
“With your brother?”
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation.
“I have my own apartment in Jordan’s building. No one goes into it except my brother and me. Marshall can stay there. He’ll be safe.”
I tried pleading with him with my eyes, tried to express what I couldn’t say, all of my vulnerabilities. “I won’t be there.”
“But I will, and if I’m not, Raiden will be. He’ll protect him with his life.”
There was no good answer here. I wouldn't be the one to look out for Marshall. A lot of good I did tonight when he was taken from in front of the building.
“Don’t I have a say?” Marshall asked. “I’m the one being talked about like I'm not even in the room. The thought of not being with my brother isn’t a good one. While I understand why he can’t be with me there, am I just supposed to not see him until this guy is found? My studio is here. I have to go to work. I can’t hide.”
If this had been anyone else, I would have told them they didn't have a choice, but this was Marshall. To take him away from his art would be the same as removing part of his identity. Some supplies could go with him, but not all. His room here was where he felt safe enough to let go and not worry about anything. He could drown out the world and get lost in what he created.
“You’ll have everything you need,” Jordan said to Marshall, softening his voice ever so slightly.
“Except my brother.”
“You can still go to work. I’ll send a guard with you.”
“I’m not sure they’ll allow me to have a shadow.”
“I know the owner of the company. I’ll make a call.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course you do.”
“I’m trying to meet you both in the middle,” Jordan growled. “I don't need to do any of this. Instead of fucking appreciating what I’m offering, you’re giving me shit. How about saying thank you, Jordan?”
Now I was getting pissed. All I wanted was to be with my brother and for him to be safe. I did appreciate what Jordan was doing for Marshall, but my mouth went in the opposite direction when it opened.
“You want me to thank you?” I asked. “Fine. Thank you for wanting to help my brother while pulling him away from me. Thank you for doing everything in your power to keep me out of your building where my brother will stay. Thank you for making me feel like the shittiest person alive for knowing I need to keep my brother safe, but obviously not being able to do it myself.” Wasn’t that what it came down to? Me not being able to protect the one person I swore I always would? I wasn’t good enough.
“Bear,” Reghan whispered.
“Don’t,” I bit out and pulled my hand from his. “Mars, you should go with Jordan. He has the ability and the manpower to keep you safe.”
“No,” he said with a defiant set to his chin. “I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.”
“I’m not trying to rule your life. I want to keep you safe.” If anything else were to happen to him, I didn't know what I’d do. I absently rubbed my chest as pain bloomed at the thought.
“And what about you?” he asked.
“What about me?”
“If he comes back?—”
“I’ll kill him.” It shouldn’t have been so easy for me to say, given my job was to protect the city while also following the law. I’d broken it too many times for Jordan. What would be another one? I’d have no remorse. It would feel damn good.
“I know you’ll do anything for me, but I don’t want you to murder someone. He could be locked up instead.” My brother wasn't na?ve. I also hadn’t told him a lot about the reality of working where I did. That was on me.
“Depending on who he is, how much money he has, and his connections, he might not do much time.” There was no way to know until he was caught. I’d rather go to sleep every night with the knowledge he wouldn’t do this ever again.
Marshall hugged me hard. “I don’t want you killing for me.”
I pulled him tight against me. “And I’d die inside if you weren’t alive. You got lucky when you were able to get away. There are still men missing. I need you safe, Mars, so I can focus on my job and put an end to this.”
“Even if it means we won't see each other every day?” How many years had it been just the two of us? No one to rule our lives.
“We will when this is done.”
He sighed. “You trust Jordan?”
“Not fully, but I do Reghan.” I was acutely aware of how Jordan had heard every word I said. I wasn’t trying to be quiet. It was still fucked up that he was standing here, but he had come when I called Reghan. That counted for a hell of a lot. “Just do what they say, and hopefully, this will be over soon, and you’ll be home.”
Leaning back, Marshall gave me a nod and left to go to his room.
I didn’t wait longer than it took for him to be out of sight before I whirled around and grabbed Jordan by his suit jacket. Reghan was immediately at my back, attempting to pull me away, but I had a hell of a grip on Jordan.
“If anything happens to him, I’ll fucking come for you,” I warned Jordan. My hold on him didn’t last long before he moved quickly and had me against the wall with his forearm pressed to my throat.
“Touch me like that again, and it will be the last thing you do.” Then he shoved me hard, making my head hit the wall and my teeth chatter. He straightened his coat. “You’re lucky I don’t fucking kill you for that.”
Reghan stood behind Jordan, a myriad of emotions on his face. I’d just threatened his boss, and he did the same to me. Reghan was stuck in the middle. He could tell me he cared about me, but the truth was, his priority would always be Jordan.
The three of us stood staring at one another while we waited for my brother to emerge with a bag. He wasn’t done. If I had to guess, that one held his clothes. He still had art supplies to pack.
There was a loud buzz, letting me know someone was at my door. Reghan was closer and pressed the button. “What?” he quietly seethed. Oh, he wasn’t happy at all. Well, he could join the fucking club. I was barely holding it together.
“It’s me,” Raiden said.
Reghan hit the button to let him in and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. He wasn’t looking at Jordan or me now. His eyes were trained on the painting over the couch that Marshall did. It was one of my favorites. That was why it hung there.
I remembered the day our aunt and uncle took us to a beach in New Jersey. We played in the ocean, then went to the boardwalk where there were games. We got to experience various rides and ate so much junk food, I was surprised we didn’t throw up.
A couple of years ago, Marshall painted a scene from that day. It was from the perspective of being on the beach, looking toward the boardwalk. Most would want to watch the ocean, endless as it disappeared into the horizon. Not my brother. His eyes were on the boardwalk as soon as we got there. The moment he decided he was done experiencing the ocean, they were on the boardwalk again.
He captured it through a child’s eyes with the brushstrokes and experience of an adult artist. It was captivating. Even now, when I glanced at it, I got lost in my memories of that day.
The door opened, and Raiden walked in. Was there anyone who worked for Jordan who didn’t know my exact location?
“Whoa,” Raiden said. “I don’t think I want to know.”
“You don’t,” Jordan bit out, but his eyes met mine. “Help Marshall so we can get the fuck out of here.” I’d crossed a line with him, one I couldn’t walk back from. The thing was, I didn’t care. When it came to Marshall, it didn’t matter who I had to go up against to ensure his safety.
Raiden left the room to walk up the hall. I didn’t bother following him with my gaze. I kept it on Jordan.
There were words I needed to say, ones that would burn like a motherfucker.
“Thank you,” I finally said.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Reghan’s arms uncross, some of the tension he held released.
Jordan didn’t respond, not that I expected him to.