Chapter 18
Isabelle
He fucks me every morning as if he wakes up and can’t wait to put his hands on me. He usually lingers for a few moments after we both come before he showers and leaves without another word. I know I can stop it at any time, simply tell him I don’t want him, but the words never fall from my lips.
I let myself lie in a confused pile of emotions for another hour this morning before I roll out of bed and shower too. I’m not sure where he goes, but I’m not in the mood to find him. The feelings battling in my heart and mind are giving me whiplash. I thought I could keep my head down for the first few weeks and let the peace of our marriage settle before bringing up returning to my father’s restaurant. His insatiable desire hadn’t factored in my plans. Neither did my equally strong craving to feel his body over mine.
Making my way to the kitchen, I barely glance at Aodhan perched on the counter as Deirdre is standing at the stove. She looks up at me with a grin as I walk over to her.
“Could I have some as well?” I ask.
Aodhan clears his throat. “You’re the lady of the house. You don’t have to ask.”
I glare at him. “It’s called manners.”
His eyebrow raises. “She’s paid well, Isabelle. It would be her pleasure to serve you.”
Deirdre nods excitedly and ushers me to a stool a few seats down from Aodhan. “It’s my pleasure, sweetie. God, you’re so beautiful. You and Rian will make beautiful babies.”
After Rian’s confession about his mother, people’s comments about babies don’t bother me so much. Babies are inevitable, especially with us not using protection. I try to tell myself it’s out of pity for his family, and not because of a recurring dream of a small boy with Rian’s eyes that stares at me with adoration. Or a petite girl with my long, dark hair who runs to be picked up by her daddy and swung around while they both laugh. I sit, uncomfortable with her compliment and begrudging the fact that I’m stuck close to Aodhan, trying to look around inconspicuously. Some days Rian lingers and I catch him on the way out with a coffee in hand, but I doubt he stayed this long today.
“He left,” Aodhan says.
My lips curl in a small snarl. “I have no idea who you’re talking about.”
Aodhan reminds me of my brother, the way he seems to read everything on my face. He smiles into his coffee for a long sip before nodding at my hand.
“Your husband. Gives you time to put your ring on before he gets home.”
I glance down at my empty finger and bite down on the inside of my lip. I only removed it to put on my face oils and moisturizers. I forgot to put it back on. But now that Aodhan has planted the idea in my head, it’s stuck. His eyes flash, then narrow, coming to the same conclusion. I smile and then turn to thank the woman as she sets a bowl of oatmeal down with a plate of fruit.
“ Go raibh maith agat , Deirdre, ” Aodhan says.
She rolls her eyes and swats at his head.
“What was that?”
“Irish.”
“What’d you say?”
Aodhan watches me for a second. “Thank you…kind of.”
I attempt to repeat it, and she smiles widely at me, nodding.
“That was a good try,” he says after she leaves us in the kitchen.
Rolling my eyes because I know I butchered it, I take a bite and study him with curious eyes. He raises an eyebrow, watching me back.
I point my fork at him. “I can’t tell if you’re my bodyguard or you simply don’t leave the house.”
His lips quirk. “A little of both.”
“And you don’t think that’s a little sad? Left to guard the boss’s wife?”
Any humor leaves his face, and a small flicker of shame burns in my stomach at the disdain bleeding in his eyes. “No, I don’t. I’m honored he chose me to protect the most important people to him.”
I drop my gaze to the plate in front of me, frowning slightly. “I’m just a pawn in his game. I’m not important to him.”
“Pawns are important to chess. Where and how you use them are fundamental to winning or losing.”
I give him an incredulous look. “Pawns are sacrificed to protect the king.”
I hate that he confirmed exactly what this is to Rian. I shouldn’t care, it would make it easier to move on and do what I want if Rian discards me once he’s gotten what he wants.
Aodhan sighs and rests his face on his chin in his palm. “It was a joke, Isabelle. He could have chosen any woman in that book Luca brought, but he sought you out when he was offered captain’s daughters. Obviously you mean more than a body to fulfill the arrangement.”
I swallow my bite and sip at the orange juice Deirdre handed over before leaving us alone in the kitchen. “Do you know he blackmailed me into this marriage?”
His eyebrows raise. “Did he? Or did he provide you with a choice?”
“A choice? Are you joking? He threatened my family if I didn’t agree to marry him!”
“He said he’ll tell Luca the truth and asked you what you thought the consequences would be. It takes two to do the horizontal tango, darlin'. You willingly went to his bed.”
“Ugh, I can’t believe you’re defending him. My parents didn’t deserve to have their whole life’s work destroyed because of one night of stupidity. Now if you’ll excuse me, arrogant men who explain away disgusting behavior make me lose my appetite.”
Aodhan laughs as I stand but he catches my elbow. I startle, unaware he had permission to touch me. His eyes narrow at my face and he slowly lets go of me. “I’d never harm you, Isabelle. You are Rian’s wife and I’d protect you with my life. But I should warn you about your tongue. While anyone in the brotherhood would probably find it amusing, it undermines Rian’s authority in front of the others. He’ll be responsible for reprimanding you if they question him because of you.”
“He swore he would never raise his hand to me.”
The coldness that bleeds into his eyes scares me a bit, and I take a step back as he speaks, “Punishments come in different forms, and are not always pointed at you directly.”
I nod, heeding his warning and storming off upstairs after ensuring he’s not following me. In my hurry to escape, I turn left instead of right and straight into the wing Rian told me to ignore. The spiteful part of me demands I explore in retaliation to Aodhan’s unnecessary scolding. I’m not an untrained child who doesn’t know how to speak in public, but I deserve the right to speak my mind in my own house.
Checking over my shoulder at the empty hallway, I open the first door and slip inside. The dark bedroom has my eyebrows creasing in confusion. I don’t understand why Rian would keep me away from here.
“Jessie?” a frail voice calls, surprising me even with the soft tone.
I walk farther into the room, realizing who occupies the bed. Shame clutches at my heart for coming in, pride fueling my pettiness and overriding any logic. When Rian warned me off, I thought he had been hiding something, not someone. And Aodhan saying he’s protecting people , not a person, should have clued me in that his father is here too.
“Sorry, I got—uhh, lost,” I say.
A thin hand lifts, waving me forward, and I round the mattress to face Rian’s father. His wise eyes study me for a beat before he smiles. “Sit. I’d like to spend time with my new daughter.”
I glance at the chair behind me. “Are you sure? I don’t want to disturb your rest.”
“I’m sure. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” He laughs but starts coughing, cutting the sound short.
Dragging the chair over, I move to sit closer to his side of the bed so it will take less effort for him to face me. He can just lie on his mountain of pillows and turn his face to the right.
“Sorry I missed your wedding. I planned to come, but my body wasn’t up to it that day,” he says with a crooked smile.
My heart leaps in my throat, and I swallow it back down. “I’m sure Rian would prefer you didn’t injure yourself for that, anyway. It wasn’t anything special.”
The man laughs loudly before it turns into deep coughs again and then he’s holding a towel up to his mouth. My eyes drop to the comforter, unsure what to say or if I should give him privacy.
“I heard he shut down the entire block just to have an hour in that large cathedral.”
A soft smile lifts my lip and my cheeks blush. “Okay, it was a little outrageous.”
“My son doesn’t do anything half-measured. And if he wanted to make a show of marrying you, I’m sure it was quite the spectacle.”
I relax in the chair, hating what I’m about to admit, but if I’m going to tell anyone, I guess his dying father is the best choice. “It was beautiful. Like something out of a fairytale. I know the church is neutral ground, but I still never gave it a thought as somewhere people could marry. It seemed so ethereal.”
He smiles. “I’m glad he did right by that at least. I know you might have been hesitant to marry just for peace between us, but my son…he’s a good man.”
An ache grows in my throat and I swallow down the words, not wanting to alarm him that his son is not as good as he thinks. Considering what he was willing to do if I didn’t marry him.
“Yeah, I can tell. You and your wife raised him well.”
His eyes light up at the mention of her. “He told you about my Elodie? It was mostly her. She was the good in all of us.”
“I’m sorry you lost her.”
He waves his hand. “I’ll be joining her soon enough, but I was worried about leaving Rian alone. It’s one of the reasons I pushed for marriage. And after finally seeing you, I can tell I’ll be leaving him in good hands.”
Tears blur my vision and I clear my throat. “I didn’t actually want to get married, you know?” I glance at Rian’s father, the gentle patience on his face as he regards me continuing. “I actually really wanted to become a chef and take over my father’s restaurant.”
“And you can’t do that with a husband?”
I snort before I can stop it, and a smile stretches on his lips. “Most wives of Made Men don’t have jobs.”
“Because none of them want that,” he says before grabbing a cloth and coughing loudly. I divert my attention until it quietens. “None of them want to work, but if that’s what you want…there’s nothing stopping you.”
My eyebrows knit together and I frown before I look up at him. “I tried to bring it up to Rian and he just ignored it.”
His father sighs, relaxing in his pillows. “I’m sure he has his reasons, but I’m telling you…nothing will stop you from getting what you want if you want it bad enough.”
He stares at me, trying to convey a message deeper than his words. I fiddle with the seam of my shirt and watch him back before slumping in the chair. “What are you saying? That Rian won’t stop me if I pursue it without his permission?”
“I don’t advise sneaking around. We have enemies our wives will never know about, but Rian would never punish you for following your dreams.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
He smiles. “Because I never punished my Elodie.”
* * *
I’m barely down the hallway when his voice startles me.
“What were you doing in there?” His cold eyes drill into me.
I raise my chin, staring back. “Where?”
“In the room I told you to stay away from.” I have no doubt he rushed home from wherever he was once his faithful little spy told him where I ventured. I’ll have to be sure to give Aodhan shit about that.
Tilting my head, I give him a saccharine smile. “I thought this house was mine as much as it’s yours.”
Rian storms toward me, and I back up against a wall. His palms rest on either side of my head as he cages me in. “What the fuck were you doing in there? I’m not fucking around, Isabelle. If you harmed?—”
“Oh my god. We were just talking. I would never hurt your dad, you fucking psycho.”
He slams his hand against the wall and I flinch. Rian lowers his arms, some of the anger draining. “Talking about what?”
I clench my jaw, staring at him. His demand makes me more determined to keep it from him, especially considering we spoke about him.
He waits for a moment and then his eyebrows raise. “You have two options. You open this mouth to suck my cock, or start talking.” His thumb rubs against my bottom lip.
A laugh nearly escapes, knowing he won’t force me to do anything, but I find it funny he thinks I won’t do it to stay silent. My gaze never leaves his as I slowly slide down the wall and onto my knees.
He sucks in a sharp breath as I reach forward, undo his belt, and unzip his jeans.
“Isabelle…”
My hand slips inside his boxer briefs, wrapping around his hardening cock, and pulling him out. He has such a beautiful cock, it’s actually unfair because what isn’t perfect about him? Besides blackmailing me to be his wife. I stroke his thick length, my core heating at his reaction to my touch. Him being turned on so much shouldn’t turn me on, but it does. It does so much . Leaning forward, I lick the ridge of his tip, swirling around the entire edge as Rian grunts.
“Look at me,” he demands.
My eyes flick up to his, he’s leaning on his forearms against the wall, his head hung down as he watches me.
“Have you done this before?”
I shake my head, then open my mouth and slide down a few inches. He lets out a hiss as some of my teeth scrape him, and while this is my first time, I know that’s not supposed to happen. I open wider, trying to adjust as I bob up and down a few times, and Rian blows out a breath.
“Isabelle, suck me.”
His hips thrust forward, only a little bit as if he’s seeking my mouth when I pull back. I lick around his tip, stroking up and down his shaft as I pant for air.
“You have to breathe through your nose, baby.” The gentleness of his voice makes me shiver.
“Don’t push too far. I have a terrible gag reflex.”
He chuckles, biting down on his lip to hide his smile as I look up at him.
“Good to know. We go at your pace then.”
I don’t remind him that this is supposed to be a punishment for not divulging the conversation I had with his father. Instead, I keep eye contact as I stroke his cock before sucking the tip of him into my mouth. His eyes flutter, but he watches as I bob my head, trying to keep my lips pulled over my teeth while I glide up and down his length.
“Just like that, Isabelle.” His hoarse whisper has my thighs clenching, heat soaring straight to my core. I didn’t know I could get turned on by doing something like this to him, but I am. The tight cords of his neck as his head tilts back and his eyes flutter shut have my nipples hardening. I want to pleasure him more, make him lose control.
I squeeze around his base, tightening my hold as I stroke him and hesitantly slide my other hand to his balls, cupping them softly. His cock jerks and I pull off, startled. I blink up at him as he stares down at me, his chest rising and falling.
“Don’t be shy now. Keep playing with me.”
The desire deepening his voice has confidence surging through me. I suck him back in my mouth and cup the soft sack in my hand. I suck up and down his length, getting wet just from the sound of his ragged breathing.
“Look at me.” His plea is a breathless whisper.
My eyes catch his as I slide forward more, my stomach flexing as I fight off the gag reflex from him invading my throat. Rian’s lips are parted, his hooded stare dark with arousal.
“Swallow me. Please , Isabelle.”
My pussy clenches at his begging. I hadn’t expected him to ask, and there’s something incredibly sexy about it. My hand wraps around the base of his shaft as I work my mouth on him quicker, wanting to taste him.
“Fuck. So good.” He groans, and he rocks into me with a single gentle thrust. In the next second, his cock swells, and I suck him harder as it jerks. A hint of his salty essence splashes on my tongue before I swallow it down. His hand holds the back of my head, keeping me there as the last few pulses of his orgasm spill inside my mouth. When his cock starts to soften, he lets go and I pull back, licking my lips and blinking up at him as he tucks himself back into his pants.
The way he’s looking at me, like I’m his entire world, has my breath catching for a second. I forget why I’m on my knees to begin with. I forget that the reason I’m even in this house is because he blackmailed me. All I can focus on is that look, and how I want more of it, but also how much it frightens me. It scares me to my core because I think a part of me feels the same way, but I’ll be damned before I let that out of the cage I’ve locked it in.
Clearing my throat, I look away from him and stand. Rian doesn’t move out of the way and our chests brush, but I keep my attention on the floor. His fingers brush against my cheek and I inhale sharply.
“I need to help Deirdre prepare for dinner. Excuse me.” I scurry away from him, ignoring how much of a coward that makes me.