Xaden #4
My heart lodges somewhere in the vicinity of my throat as her golden eyes narrow on me in challenge. I should retreat again; that’s what Kaori would say to do.
Instead, I take a step forward and raise my head, despite the steady stream of blood dripping down my jawline. I will not cower.
Her eyes flare in what I really fucking hope is approval. “This is not a group activity. Tell your acquaintances to depart.”
My heart hammers.
“You guys need to go.” I leave my arms loose at my sides and welcome the cool breeze against the pulsing heat consuming half my face.
“Xaden—” Garrick starts.
“Go.” I keep my eyes locked on Sgaeyl. Talking to me is a great sign—it means that she’s considering me—but given her history of killing her own rider, I’m not about to overstep on her goodwill. “I’ll be fine.” Or dead. Either way, Garrick shouldn’t have to watch.
“Oh…oh.” Garrick’s footsteps sound behind me, followed by Masen’s. “You’re sure about this?”
“I am.” I hold her gaze without flinching. “I’ll see you on the flight field.”
“Don’t die,” he says under his breath, and their footsteps fade out toward the left.
Wind howls through the trees and snow starts to fall again as Sgaeyl and I stare at each other in the middle of the empty field.
“You know who I am.” It’s not a question.
“Everyone knows who you are, Sgaeyl. Being the most ruthless of your kind earns you a reputation.”
“We have that in common, grandson of Maxim Riorson.” She lowers her head to a combat position.
My brow furrows and pain flares again as my left eye begins to swell shut. “I’m the grandson of Corbin Riorson. Maxim was my great-uncle.”
She blinks. “If your grandmother said so, I suppose.”
What the fuck? My mind races. Would that mean… No. Dad is the oldest twin and—
“Don’t overthink it.” She assesses me. “Why did you kill the royal?”
“If you’re speaking to me, you’ve already seen inside my head. You already know the answer.” My left eye seals shut. So much for depth perception.
“I not only require unflinching honesty from you but for you to have unflinching honesty with yourself, Xaden Riorson.” Her stare intensifies, but I hold my stance. “And if I must clean up your messes, you should at least admit to what causes them.”
“He bullied my best—” I stop myself before I finish the sentence. “I am responsible for the hundred and seven souls that mark my back.”
“You are responsible for their loyalty to Navarre, not their lives.”
“That’s not how I see it.” My hands form fists as I search for the right—the honest—words. “I killed Alic because I could. Because I saw an opportunity to rid the world of him and I took it.”
She listens silently, her eyes a constant source of judgment, and there’s every chance she’ll find me lacking, especially if she’s seen all the memories I possess.
But if she’s already seen, then there’s no harm in voicing my reasoning.
“I was helpless the day they killed my father. I stood there and watched as he was turned into ash. We all did. And I swore I would never be that helpless again. I will never stand idly by while my loved ones are slaughtered.” I swallow the knot forming in my throat.
“I can’t save all hundred and seven of us.
I know that. And I don’t have a hero complex.
I’m not that guy. What I do have is a mission, and I need every marked one possible to survive this place so we can accomplish it.
I am responsible for their loyalty, yes.
But by giving them mine, I ensure theirs. ”
“You think I’ll disapprove of your mission.” She rumbles, but the sound isn’t quite a growl. “Or kill you for breaking the rules of your quadrant.”
It’s nearly impossible to keep from flinching. “You are a dragon of the Empyrean, mated to Tairn, the second-largest dragon on the Continent. It’s common knowledge that he lost his last rider because of my father’s rebellion, so I’m not sure how he’d feel about…me.”
“He’s not the one making the choice, is he?” Steam blasts across my face, so hot that I half expect my skin to blister, and holy fuck it hurts. “He will live with my decision, and I suspect one day I’ll have to live with his.”
Don’t question her choices. Noted.
“I’ll give you my honesty if you give me yours.” I take a fortifying breath.
Sgaeyl’s eyes narrow to slits.
“Do you know what’s happening out there?” I gesture behind me. “Do you know why my father attempted to secede from Navarre?”
She waits so long that I start to wonder if she’s ever going to answer. “I do.”
I nod. “And do you know what I will do with whatever power you channel to me?”
“Do you, Xaden Riorson?” She comes close enough that I could reach out and touch her snout if I dared.
“You need not question me. I have seen your soul. Every haunted memory, every vile thought, every malevolent desire for revenge. I am cognizant of your downfalls, and yet I see the potential of everything you can become. I see it all.”
My chest constricts. She’s really choosing me. Not even Garrick knows the true depth of what I’m capable of, the parts I keep hidden from everyone. My mother left. My father died. There isn’t a single person on the Continent who truly knows me.
Until now.
“Say it.” Her eyes almost glow with their intensity. “Tell me what you will do with all this power after you accomplish your mission?”
I’ll give her unflinching honesty.
“If I live through it?” I let the monster slip its leash a fraction of an inch.
“I’d love nothing more than to burn this place to the fucking ground.
” To a dragon, there’s nothing as sacred as the Vale, their hatching grounds Basgiath was put here to protect.
I’ve just pulled the dragon equivalent of baring my throat.
Sgaeyl lifts her head. “And thus, we begin.”