11. Cleaning Out My Closet
11
CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET
BASIL
I closed my office door behind me. I’d told my assistant that we shouldn’t be disturbed. This was Felix and my regular one-on-one so he wasn’t thinking anything of it.
“I have several agenda items that?—”
I cut him off. “I need you to see something before we get into it.” I didn’t waste time. I opened my laptop, pressed play, and turned the screen toward him.
The room filled with the sound of his voice—loud, slurred, arrogant. Felix flinched as the video played, every single word, like nails scraping across metal. I played all the videos, one by one, and by the time they were over, he was pale.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, rubbing his face with both hands.
I waited for him to get a hold of himself. I met Felix for the first time at Data Structuring 101, eight and a half years ago. We were friends almost instantly. A year ago, I hired him because I knew him, trusted him, believed in him.
After a long silence, he released a weary sigh. “I was drinking too much. I behaved like an asshole—no, worse than that, I was a complete piece of shit.” He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I can’t even believe I said that. I—” He met my gaze, shame in his eyes. “Basil, I—fuck, man, I’m so sorry. That was wrong. Completely .”
“Why?” I asked simply.
He let out a scoff. “Why go after Summer?”
“Yeah. She’s nice. She’s good. What did she do to you?”
He shrugged. “Nothing. She did nothing . You’re right, she was always nice and polite. She…even in the video, you saw how she handled me? With grace. Everyone in the group thought she wasn't right for you and…I just went with it.”
“I was happy with her, could you not see that?”
“In the beginning, we did but…look, I wish I had a good reason, but I got nothing except she wasn’t one of us, which is complete bullshit. Also, we all assumed you and Drew would end up together, the golden couple?—”
“What? We were friends. I never gave any indication that there was more between Drew and me.” I was frustrated with how my friends seemed to not know me. Alleged friends!
Felix must have sensed it because he swallowed and added, “Drew was adamant you both were together and….” He swallowed. “It was pure meanness.”
“I defended you all to Summer. I kept telling her she was imagining things, that she was insecure. That she was too sensitive.” Self-loathing was a mild word for how I felt about myself.
“Drew made sure of that—she played you and Summer,” he explained flatly. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about what went down last week, but I didn’t know how. I’d been drinking but I wasn’t drunk and …this is gonna fuck you up so….”
“Just say what you got to say. Honestly, I’m at rock bottom. The woman I love doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. My friends sabotaged my relationship with the woman I love. And I find out that people in my company, the one I sacrificed so much to build, think that you get ahead at Stratos if you’re buddies with me.”
Felix looked miserable at that. He knew he was partly to blame. After all, as CHRO engagement and employee perception were his responsibilities. But maybe not for long?
He looked at me defeated. “I overheard Drew and Karen talking. Drew kissed you on purpose—she wanted Summer to see.”
A rush of anger punched through me. I suspected it, but having it put in black and white was something else.
Felix kept going. “I should’ve said something earlier. I should’ve—” He stopped, shaking his head. “When I saw how it played out, how you and Summer blew up…it didn’t sit right.”
I closed my eyes briefly. The realization landed like a sledgehammer. Summer was right, my friends were toxic .
“How long has Drew been on this mission where I’m the prize?” I asked laconically.
“Since she broke up with Owen.”
“That was right before Summer and I started dating.”
He nodded, looking utterly shattered.
“So, she’s been screwing with Summer since the beginning?”
“Yeah.”
“And none of you said anything to me?”
He didn’t respond, just gave me a ‘ what do you want me to say’ look.
“Because you all, in all your wisdom thought Drew and I would make a better couple.”
He looked at his hands instead of replying, which was fine since these were rhetorical questions.
After some minutes of silence, Felix sat up, his face impassive. “I can’t change what I did, but I can take responsibility for it.” He took a deep breath and released it as if he were getting ready to jump off a cliff. “I’m offering my resignation.”
I studied him, watching for cracks, for insincerity, but all I saw was regret.
“Are you resigning because you’ve been a crappy CHRO or a crappy friend?” I asked.
He looked at me, surprised at the question. “I…I’m a good CHRO, Basil.”
“Drew’s team has shit engagement scores, have you done anything about that or have you not looked askance because she’s a friend?”
He deflated. “You’re right.”
“You don’t stand in the guilty box alone, Felix,” I said softly. “I stand there with you. I did exactly the same thing.”
Sure, he screwed up, but so did I. He was owning it, ready to make amends, which was exactly what I was doing with Summer. If I wanted her forgiveness, I’d have to grant Felix mine.
I sighed, rubbing my jaw. “I should fire you.”
He gave out a harsh laugh. “No doubt.”
I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling for a moment before lowering my gaze to him. “But I’m not going to.”
His brows lifted slightly.
“I’m giving you a chance. Just one , Felix.” I leveled him with a hard stare. “You screw this up—you sleep on the job—you’re gone. No discussion, no negotiation.”
Relief crashed over his face. “Basil, I swear?—”
“I know you could walk out of here and get another job—no problem. And if not, your family, and by extension you, are loaded. So you don’t have a financial reason to stay. I want you here because I believe people can evolve, get better—not change everything about themselves, but their behaviors.” I gave him a small smile. “I’m on the same twelve steps, buddy.”
Felix looked at me as I cleared my head, rearranged my plans to now include Felix because, sure he’d fucked up, but I believed he regretted what he did. He didn’t make excuses, didn’t try to bullshit me, he said outright he was to blame. I respected that.
I let that sit for a beat, then shifted gears.
“Now”—I smirked—“Since you’re still Head of HR, you’re going to handle something for me.”
“Drew?”
“Yes.” I turned to the laptop screen to face him and tapped to open my email. “Legally, we’re going to do this the clean way. Greer said we’ll have to buy her out. So, he’s put together a preliminary severance package that he will run by you. A generous one—I want her gone fast.”
“You got one there for me as well?”
“Yes.”
“But…you’re not going to give it to me.”
“No. I’m not giving up on you, Felix.” Because then I’d have to give up on myself as well.
He considered that for a moment and smiled. “I won’t let you down.”
I believed him.
Crossroads.
Epiphanies.
Wakeup calls.
Felix had just got his when he watched the video, saw who he had become, how he’d hurt someone for no good reason—how he wasn’t a man he could respect. I could relate and just like him I vowed to never disappoint Summer or myself ever again.