Chapter 28 #2
“Let me clarify something, Dr. Murphy. You’re right, I’ve been ducking you and everyone else in the department for the past few days, but no more.
What happened between Bass and me wasn’t a bad decision or a faux pas, as you put it.
It was mutual, and it was real. And if that changes your or the department’s decision to write me a good reference to Sabrina Stevenson, then so be it.
I’ve made peace with the idea that if the job is for me, it’s for me. ”
I’ve never seen the Professor at a loss for words, no doubt surprised by how real I’m being with her, so she ends the conversation by simply telling me to have a “good day.” I’m not sure where I stand with her at this point, but I’m going to have to be cool with that.
I rocked my presentation, and I’ve got brownies waiting for me at home. For now, that’s enough.
I pack up quickly after our exchange, not because I’m eager to leave but because I still feel Bass’s energy for some reason…even though the room has long since emptied.
Outside, the sun is brighter than it has any right to be.
The air conditioning in the building fools you into forgetting just how hot it can get outside during this time of year.
I quickly shed my blazer and take a deep breath.
It’s finally done. When I step fully out of the building, I almost run straight into him.
Bass.
He’s leaning against one of the columns, like he’s been there a while. Waiting. Not blocking my path. Just…waiting.
My heart stutters traitorously.
He looks good, really fucking good. If it wasn’t so hot outside, I’d slide my blazer back on to preserve my modesty, because my nipples are betraying me in the worst way. I miss him so much; my body aches for him.
“Hey,” he says.
Just one casual word from him and my panties moisten. What a gift. My pussy has frickin’ muscle memory.
“Hey,” I mirror back, shifting my legs to get comfortable.
Silence stretches.
“You were amazing in there,” he says finally. “You killed it.”
“Thanks,” I reply, because suddenly I’m tongue-tied.
“Your professor seemed impressed.”
“Dr. Murphy? Yeah, she told me it was excellent.”
“It was. You showed everyone what I already could see in real time. You turned my rep around. Made me a viable selection for the pros.”
“You were already viable for the pros,” I tell him.
“Now if that were true, beautiful, they wouldn’t have put you on the case.” He smiles.
“Um, my professor mentioned that you had a meeting with her?”
“I did.” His eyes suddenly shoot to the ground as if he’s embarrassed that I know. “But I meant exactly what I said to her,” he adds quietly. “I hope it helped.”
He shifts his body as well, almost mirroring my movements, like he wants to say more and doesn’t trust himself to.
“It might have,” I continue. “I’m not sure, but I appreciate the effort.”
His jaw tightens. “Good.”
I study him, really study him. He looks exhausted.
Not hungover, exhausted, but soul exhausted.
Like someone who hasn’t slept because they’ve been holding something heavy for too long.
It’s not as satisfying to see him like this as I thought it might be.
I hate that he hurt me, but I also hate that he’s hurting, and that can only mean one thing.
I must love him.
I inhale slowly. “Why did you do it?” I ask him.
His gaze holds mine, unflinching. “Because you shouldn’t have to pay for my mistakes.”
My chest tightens despite myself. We stand there, campus sounds buzzing around us, and for the first time since everything blew up, I don’t feel like I hate him. I’m not sure what I feel.
“What happens now?” he asks.
I consider the question for a long moment.
“This doesn’t go back to what it was,” I say carefully.
“I know.”
“I’m not interested in big promises,” I continue. “Or dramatic declarations. I don’t want to feel like I’m teaching you how to be a decent human being.”
“You’re not,” he says, softer now. “Or rather, you won’t have to.”
“I need to be able to trust you, Bass,” I say. “I need to know that if I step forward, I’m not stepping into a fucking mess.”
He nods once. “Then I’ll give you quiet. Predictable. Boring, if that’s what it takes, although boring goes against all my sensibilities.”
That almost makes me chuckle.
“Don’t push it.”
“I just wanted to see that Kai Vega smile. I’ve missed the fuck out of it.”
My throat tightens.
“I’m not saying yes,” I tell him.
“I know.”
“But I’m not slamming the door shut either,” I add.
Something breaks open in his expression. It’s not exactly relief, but more like hope handled carefully.
“That’s cool, Kai,” he says. “But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to tell my side of the story. Gia wasn’t being totally truthful. I need you to hear me.”
I nod.
“I can listen…when I’m ready to.”
We stand there another second, the weight of everything unsaid pressing between us.
Then I turn to leave.
And he doesn’t follow.
And that?
That’s what finally makes me believe him.
And for the first time in days, I don’t feel like I’m standing on the edge of something about to collapse.
I feel…safe.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s where real love actually starts.