Chapter 9
9
Josie
“I honestly despise him,” I say to my sister. “It’s more than a superficial dislike. It’s loathing. Disgust. Like, on a soul-deep level.”
“I don’t blame you,” she says. “Especially after how he treated you.”
We’re talking about Ryan, of course, he of the Loud Yelling and Defensive Reactions, as we walk toward Tabula Inscripta after grabbing breakfast at Davis Square Donuts I’m breathing hard, fixated on his mouth, that full lower lip. “I hate how tall you are.”
“Do you?” His tone is mocking. Like he’s thinking, Liar.
“Yes,” I snap. “I hate how you always look down on me.”
“Want me to get on my knees?”
Fury zings through me, and I clench my thighs together.
“What I want,” I say, “is for you to stop staring at me like you can’t decide if you want to kill me or fuck me.”
His eyes flash with heat. “Too bad,” he whispers.
He’s looking at me with blatant hunger, like he’s daring me to pull him the rest of the way down. Just a couple of inches and his mouth will be on mine. My grip tightens on his lanyard. And for a split second, I think, Why not?
A burst of laughter sounds from his side of the store—like a bucket of cold water hitting me. I release his lanyard. He straightens up.
Taking a step back, I smooth my hair and attempt to pull myself together, knowing there’s nothing I can do about my flushed cheeks. Flushed from anger —it must be. The alternative is too awful to even consider.
When I look up, he’s smirking again, like he knows how much he rattled me. Like this is all part of his strategy to crush me into oblivion.
“I think you should go,” I say, lifting my chin.
“Yeah,” he says, releasing a dark laugh. “I would have if you hadn’t—”
“Just go.”
His jaw clenches, and he turns and stalks away, and I’m involuntarily staring at his butt, at the way his worn jeans hug everything just right —
“My sister was right about you,” I call after him, and he pauses. “You’re just a basic run-of-the-mill asshole.”
His body goes rigid for one second, then two. But he doesn’t turn around, doesn’t reply. He just keeps on walking, disappearing behind the new bookcase-wall and into his store.