Chapter 19
NINETEEN
SPARK
Adrienne
This has to stop. I have to stop being so weak, so monumentally stupid. I can’t keep letting Gabe yank me back into his bed, only to throw me away again.
It’s been three days since The Dames shoot and the night in my bed that followed. I should have let things die when I realized he was gone the next morning. I should have stuck to my guns when I met him in the kitchen an hour later and he was back to treating me like garbage.
Did I do that? No, I didn’t, because I’m weak and so very stupid.
That night, he was back in my room, in my space. I should have told him to march his happy ass right back out, but again, I didn’t. Instead, I let him slide into my bed and welcomed him again into my body. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Now, it’s like a fix. We’re addicts, and we can’t stop. Gabe and I are awful to each other during the day, but in the dark where we keep our secret addictions, we can’t stay away from each other. It has to come to an end.
I feel awful. My heart hurts, because like the stupid human that I am, I want to be loved and cherished.
Gabe may be a god, complete with a miraculous body and a cock he wields like a weapon, but he holds no affection for me.
In fact, the exact opposite is clear. I’m pretty sure he hates me more and more every day.
Only under the cover of night, does he show me a sweet intimacy that I can’t deny. Like a drug, I want it. Like the air I need. But it’s not air. It’s tar and nicotine filling my lungs and slowly choking me, robbing me of the oxygen I need to breathe.
It has to stop.
“Hey, Addie,” Bobby says from behind me.
I startle, my eyes flitting away from the screen. I wonder how long I’ve been sitting here. I was supposed to be watching film of other drivers for the upcoming race, but instead, I saw nothing but my own heartbreak coming up like a bad crash.
“Hey, Bobby.”
“Film?” he asks as he nods to the screen.
“Yeah,” I reply, unable to hide the distraction in my voice. “What are you up to?”
“We were going to get some laps in.”
Realization washes over me; my time slot here at our facility has come and gone and no one told me. Shit. How long have I been sitting here like a mannequin?
“Oh damn, I’m sorry. I must have lost track of time.”
“That’s okay,” he responds with a smile. “I figured as much.”
“Yeah.”
“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”
“No more than the next girl.” I shrug.
Something tells me not to share all of my deepest fears and secrets with him. But that can’t be right. Bobby is my oldest friend. We practically grew up together.
Even though we’ve been pitted against one another, I hope we’ll be able to move past this after one of us wins the control of DHR. But there’s a little voice in the back of my mind whispering that maybe we won’t.
“Let me take you out tonight,” he says, surprising me again.
“What?”
“Go out with me tonight,” he repeats.
I look at him, really look at him through different eyes.
Bobby’s a handsome guy. Any woman would be lucky to go out with him.
He’s always been nice to me. Maybe this is the answer to my prayers.
I’ve never thought of Bobby that way before, but we have so much in comon.
We have the same career, and we both grew up in awe of both my father and grandfather.
Not to mention if I started dating Bobby, I would have a legitimate excuse to end things with Gabe. I wish I were strong enough to walk away, but I’m not.
I know that’s not fair to Bobby or to me, but the opportunity is there, and I want to grab it with both hands.
If we end up together, we could run DHR as a couple.
Maybe this is what my dad wanted all along.
For Bobby and me to find our way together and rule the racing world side by side as the ultimate power couple.
“I’d love to.”
“Great,” he says, smiling that bright white, winning smile. “I’ll pick you up at six. Dress nice.” And then he turns and leaves the room.
I quickly pick up my things and make my way to the locker room to pack up the belongings in my locker.
When I turn to walk out, Gabe is there, staring at me, but he doesn’t say a word.
He just leads me out to his SUV and drives me home.
We don’t speak as he checks the house or as we settle in for the evening.
This is what’s been swirling in my brain. We can’t love each other at night, only to tear each other apart in the daylight.
I need to run off some of this weird energy, so I decide to change and get a quick workout in before I dress for dinner.
I’m sure that a hard run will wear out a lot of my nerves.
I step onto the treadmill in my home gym and press the Start button.
The tread has just begun to move, when I see movement at the door.
Gabe is there, watching me, and I stumble over my own feet.
“W-What are you doing here?” I stammer, steadying myself with the handbars.
I figured my making a date with another man and then coming down here to be alone made it clear that I don’t want to be around him. I guess I was wrong.
I’ve told him to leave me alone and he’s refused; I make a date with another man and he’s still right here.
“Don’t wear yourself out,” Gabe says cryptically from his place by the door.
“What? Why?”
“When you get back from him,” he says, the warning in his low voice clear for all to hear, “you come to me.”
“Gabe—”
“If he touches what’s mine, I’ll be pissed,” he adds and then turns on his heel and stalks away.
Isn’t that just the rub, because I was never his to begin with and it’s clear I’m never going to be. It’s cruel of him to dangle the thought of it in front of me.
And I can’t remember wanting anything more in all of my life.
My heart feels like it’s about to beat its way out of my chest.
I have no idea why I thought any of this was a good idea. I played with fire and got burned. I should have dived into a pool of asbestos and put out the flame but instead, I jumped from one fire into an inferno.
After working out until I could barely stand, I crawled upstairs on my Jello legs and took a long, hot shower.
Neither of which did absolutely anything to ease my anxiety.
I dried and curled my hair so it hung delicately over my shoulders and down my back.
Applied my makeup like a professional in smoky shimmery shades of brown and gold to highlight my hazel eyes and swiped a soft pink on my lips.
Slipped a pair of diamond studs into my ears and wrapped a matching tennis bracelet around my wrist.
Then I went and lost my freaking mind by pulling on a stretchy dress that was so slinky and so tight I couldn’t wear any panties or a bra with it. I slipped my feet into black heels with a rounded toe and looked at myself in the mirror.
I look good. I know that, but Gabe’s warning is sounding like a fire alarm in my ears.
“What in the hell am I doing?” I ask my reflection. But there’s no answer to be found, because my reflection and I both know I’m still being monumentally stupid.
I wonder if I have time to break into my emergency stash of sour candy in the kitchen and stuff an entire package of watermelon ribbons into my mouth before Bobby gets here.
The doorbell rings.
“Shit.”
I race down the stairs just in time to see Manny pull open my front door, and I wonder where Gabe is. At the same time, I’m equally glad he’s not here to threaten me within an inch of my vagina.
“I’m your detail tonight,” Manny explains to both Bobby and me.
“Detail?” Bobby asks with a disarming smile.
“My protection detail,” I explain.
“Oh, right,” he says. “I heard you were having a bit of trouble with a fan. Everything all right?”
“Everything is fine.” I sigh. “I honestly think my dad overreacted.” Kind of. Not really.
“Well,” he says as he gives me a weird look. “Shall we?”
“Yes,” I blurt out nervously.
Bobby takes my hand in his and leads me out to his car. I never realized how pretentious of a car he drove before. Race car drivers often do, but still. This one is over the top, and that’s saying something, because my baby Hellcat is safely tucked away in my garage. I miss her. I miss driving her.
It’s weird to be driven around all the time when my job title is literally professional driver.
I didn’t realize it until now, but it’s been over a month since I’ve driven on actual roads outside of the track.
It’s unnerving and I don’t like it. It makes me feel like I’ve been locked away in a cage under the guise of my own safety but I’m not safe at all because I’m stuck in that cage with an actual panther. Not Bobby, of course, Navarro.
Bobby pulls open his door, and I get my own.
I am a strong, independent woman, but the simple difference makes me think of Gabe and how he always opens my door for me. I shouldn’t be thinking of Gabe while I’m out with Bobby—that’s so fucked up. Then again, so is the rest of my fucking life.
Honestly, I shouldn’t be thinking about Gabe at all. Whatever this is that we’ve been doing is so toxic. It’s not healthy, and both of us will be better off once we’ve made a clean break from each other.
Going out tonight with Bobby is good.
This is healthy.
But most of all, being with Bobby will be safe. I need some separation from Gabe and his toxic fucking so I can think straight again.
Bobby pulls up to the valet at the Marine Room in La Jolla, a small dining room that sits over the beach offering diners an upscale culinary experience.
Tucked away off the beaten path, it’s a spot for locals, not tourists, and a romantic one at that.
Bobby must be serious about wanting to be with me.