Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
LIGHTNING
Adrienne
Ineed to go faster. It’s the only way to clear my head.
I press down on the accelerator going into the next curve. I keep pushing and keep pushing and I don’t let up. I’m not allowed to drive myself around town, so I can’t be alone. That means I can’t focus in so that I can win the next race and work my way to the head of DHR.
But here on the track, I can just drive laps. I can push myself and let everything in my brain just… go. Just flit away.
Yesterday, after Gabe checked the perimeter of my mom’s hillside home, giving me the opportunity to spill my guts to my favorite person, he did as promised and joined us on the patio for lunch.
“Please, help yourself and join us,” she’d said when he walked back around the house.
“Thank you.”
I wasn’t actually sure what he was going to do. Would he reject my mom’s invitation with the excuse of duty, or would he take her offer? I was surprised when he walked to the side table and fixed himself a plate before sitting down in between Mom and me at the large round table.
“So tell me about yourself,” my mom prompted, and I felt my spine stiffen.
There was no telling how Gabe would react to her interrogation. My cheeks burned, because I was twenty-seven years old and both my parents still treated me like I was sixteen and going out on my first date. I could handle them one at a time, but both of them in one morning was too much.
“I’m thirty-four and from Texas,” he said between bites of fruit salad.
“And you’re in private security?” she asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied thoughtfully.
“No ma’ams here,” she replied with a laugh.
“I have to,” he drawled with a smirk playing about the side of his full lips. “If I didn’t, my mom would beat my ass.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that.”
“No, we wouldn’t,” he agreed. “My brother and I are still terrified of her in sandals.
“What made you choose to run a security service?” she asked.
“Mom,” I warned. “He’s not here to be interrogated like a criminal.”
“I was done with the marines but uncomfortable spinning my wheels,” he answered honestly. “It seemed like the next step.”
“I bet it did,” she said thoughtfully. “My husband says you’re the best.”
“I am,” he said honestly, confident but not steeping with arrogance. He was good, and that was the truth; all of it. There was no hiding it but also no bragging, and Gabe and I both pretended we didn’t notice how my mom slipped and called Dad her husband—not her ex.
“Now,” she said, turning to me. “What the hell are you going to do about Bobby?”
“Dad’s PR team is going to handle it,” I answered with a sigh. “I'm just going to focus on winning.”
“I never did like that boy,” she muttered while spearing bites of cake with her fork.
“Mom,” I scolded.
“What? It’s true.” She rolled her eyes. “He always was a little pissant.”
“Mom…”
“Can’t help but agree there,” Gabe muttered before shoving half a sandwich into his mouth.
Mom and I both turned and stared at him, me in horror and Mom with an approving look on her own face for all to see.
Shit.
She liked him, and worse than that, she liked him for me.
We spent the rest of the afternoon visiting.
After lunch, Gabe thanked my mom and then left to make his rounds again.
This was both good and bad. Good, because his presence unnerved me and I was starting to spin out of control, feeling that constant state of unbalance that he made me feel.
It was like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon when I didn’t even know how to tie my own shoes.
It was bad, too, because it gave my mom time to dig into her I like Gabe for Adrienne campaign.
Something that we both wanted, but I was the one who was sure both Mom and I would be left brokenhearted at the end of the adventure.
I spent a fair amount of time trying to convince her of the sad eventuality of my love life crashing and burning, but I gave up when it was clear Mom wasn’t about to give in.
Finally, it was time to go, and I had plans to go home and lock myself in my room until the end of time. Hope that my problems magically sorted themselves out. But I
had a feeling it was more likely I would discover the portal that Claire fell through to get to her highlander in the past than I was to make Gabe fall in love with me. Nevertheless, Mom was determined.
She walked us to the door. Hugo was napping somewhere, no doubt sleeping off all the chicken salad and ham sandwiches he’d stolen from the table. I was feeling a little fat and happy myself and could use a nap to sleep off all the carbs too.
Just after Gabe stepped through the threshold and beeped the locks on his car, Mom pulled me into her arms and whispered into my ear, “Take the leap.”
“Mom—”
“No buts,” she interrupted me. “Take the risk. This man is worth it.”
“He doesn’t want me.” Voicing my own insecurities did not feel good, but it needed to be said.
“That man wants you,” she replied. “He’s just not sure if he can let himself.”
“Mom—”
“Trust me.”
“I do.”
“Take the leap.”
“Okay.”
“It’s going to hurt,” she warned. “But it’ll be worth it.”
She kissed my cheek and let me go.
Gabe was waiting at the passenger door for me and pulled it open. I climbed in, and he closed the door behind me before walking around the hood to climb into the driver seat.
He didn’t ask me about the whispered conversation with my mom on the porch, though I knew he was watching. The ten-minute ride back to my house passed in silence.
I was confused, now more than ever. Should I take the risk and reach for what I want—or really who I want? Do it all knowing Gabe was going to hurt me? I knew the answer should be a resounding no, but Mom’s words echoed in my thoughts. It’ll be worth it.
Before I knew it, he was pulling into my driveway.
He parked, and I waited at the door while he checked the house.
Once he said it was clear, I planned to hightail it to my bedroom to soak in my tub and take a long nap.
I needed to get my thoughts in order, and I couldn’t do that if I was letting the man in question have his wicked way with me.
His cock, while impressive, seemed to muddle my thoughts, but like all of my best laid plans, these were dashed when he stopped me by the stairs, his hand heavy on my arm.
“Gabe?”
“Not yet,” he said quietly as he turned me to face him. His face was soft, and his eyes were hungry.
“I’m tired.”
“Then I’ll go slow,” he said as he scooped me up and carried me up the stairs. “And I’ll do all the work.”
I opened my mouth to make an excuse, and he pressed his lips to mine, gently licking into my mouth and making me burn for him.
So much for a night to think.
He carried me down the hall and laid me out on my bed. He undressed me with care, treating me delicately, like I was precious and special. Gabe covered me with his body after stripping off his own clothes, and then he made good on his promises; he fucked me slow and did all the work.
It wasn’t until this morning, when I woke up all alone in my big bed, the sheets on his side cold and empty, that I realized he didn’t fuck me at all. He made love to me like I mattered, and in the end, he still left, so what did it even matter anyway?
I got up and showered. I braided my hair down my back and dressed in my usual workout shorts, sports bra, and tank.
I brushed my teeth and made my way downstairs to see Gabe dressed and waiting for me.
He looked so handsome, standing in my kitchen with a cup of coffee half raised to his lips.
He almost looked as if he belonged there, but he was removed enough to remind me that would forever remain impossible, and it broke my fucking heart.
My mom said it would hurt, and she was not wrong about that.
I need to get my head on straight while I’m on the track. Distractions at this speed lead to accidents and tragedy. My family lost my grandfather in a crash, and countless friends in race-related accidents. I don’t need to add myself to the list of those they mourn.
I don’t quite execute my plan as thoroughly as I should, which is how I end up barreling around the track at breakneck speeds, hoping to clear my head.
Spoiler alert: it’s not working.
My speaker crackles to life, shaking me free from my thoughts. “We have lightning within three miles. Please leave the track.”
Honestly, it’s probably a blessing, because I’m being an irresponsible idiot and doing it out in the open for all to see.
I should go lick my wounds with a fresh bag of watermelon candy and maybe a little crying and screaming in the ladies’ room.
Who knows? At this point, anything could be cathartic when purging a man like Gabriel Navarro.
I slow down and make my way off the track. My team unhooks me and pulls me from the car. I take one look at Erin and Rowan and see they are spitting mad.
“What the fuck was that?” Erin bites out.
“Nothing.” We all know it’s a lie. I don’t drive like that… ever—like I have a death wish. I make calculated risks and press my advantage.
“That’s bullshit,” Erin snaps.
“Erin—” Rowan tries to stop her from tearing me apart, but it’s no less than I deserve, and we all know it.
“You represent all of us,” she spits.
“I know.”
“No, you fucking don’t. Or else you wouldn’t have driven like that out there. You represent all women in racing. Show the world we deserve to be here, not behave like we’re childish little girls playing pretend in a man’s world.”
Fuck me. She’s right.
“I’m sorry,” I say honestly. “You’re right.”
“I know I am,” she snaps, still pissed at me, and then she takes a deep breath. “If you drive like that with other cars on the track, you won’t walk away from your car, Addie.”
“I know.”
“You’ll die like the rest.”
“I know.”
“Is that what you want?” she asks, and the sky breaks apart as rain falls heavy on us.
“No,” I whisper.
“Then get the fuck out of here.”