Chapter Fifteen #2
Heavily, Nicola sat on the bed behind her.
The truth was that her knees gave out and she simply plopped down onto it.
There had been no conscious choice to sit.
Her knees would no longer hold her. She sat there a moment, gripping the edge of the bed, wondering if her act of betrayal had been based on Kenton trying to keep the two of them together.
Warwick would send you away. Kenton didn’t want her to be sent away.
He was trying to keep them together.
I love you….
Nicola could hardly breathe through the horror she was feeling.
Dear God, was it possible? Had he truly only been trying to throw Wellesbourne and de Russe off his trail?
Why, oh why, hadn’t she confronted him about his words?
Why hadn’t she asked him to explain himself?
Instead, she had believed the worst and her feelings of pain and betrayal had taken over her common sense. She had betrayed the man who loved her.
Whom she loved.
Aye, she loved him. She couldn’t remember when she hadn’t. Now, her treachery had cost her everything, including the man she loved.
Dear God… what have I done?
Forcing herself to breathe, to think, Nicola stood up from the bed unsteadily.
She had to go downstairs, to see to the status of Babylon and to see what her act of betrayal had done to Kenton’s men.
She suddenly felt quite protective of them, as misplaced and late as those feelings were.
Smoothing at her hair, her mind wandering to thoughts of Kenton and the degree of damage she had done to him, she moved for the chamber door.
“Thank you for telling me what Wellesbourne and de Russe had said about me,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.
“But it truly doesn’t matter what they think now, does it?
Babylon is back in the hands of Edward, where it belongs, and it is time for me to assess the situation.
I will also procure some food for the boys while I am gone, but you will remain here and bolt the door.
Do not open it for anyone but me. Is that clear? ”
Janet, Raven, and Liesl nodded fearfully but Tab came up next to his mother and clutched her hand.
“I will go with you,” he said.
Nicola was momentarily forced away from her tumultuous thoughts, gazing down at her son and thinking his offer sounded very grown-up. “There is no need,” she said. “I will return as soon as I can.”
Tab was serious. “But you may need protection,” he said. “I will protect you.”
It was a sweet thing to say and Nicola couldn’t help but smile at her brave boy. “Protection from what?” she asked. “These men are loyal to Edward. They will not harm me.”
Tab remained quite serious. He went to the door and opened it for his mother. “Come along,” he said. “I will escort you. We do not know these men and they could be cruel.”
“If they are cruel, then I do not want you where they are. I want you here, safe.”
“If they are cruel, then I will defend you.”
There was no arguing with him, as his mind was made up.
Fighting off a grin at Tab’s chivalrous behavior, Nicola obediently went to the door just as her son had asked.
When she quit the room, Tab followed her onto the dark landing beyond and shut the door behind his mother.
He was the first one down the stairs as she followed.
The third floor of the keep was very quiet, as it had been since Kenton and his men had departed, and the smile faded from Nicola’s face as she was once again reminded of his absence and of what she had done.
Gazing into the two empty chambers on this level, the ones that the knights had once used, left her feeling sick and hollow.
At some point, she simply couldn’t look at the rooms anymore; the longer she stared at them, remembering who was once in them, the more sickened she became.
Nicola and Tab made their way down the great staircase to the entry level below, their senses heightened and their manner cautious.
The hall to their left and the solar straight ahead seemed to be empty and they couldn’t hear any voices, nor any sounds except those coming from outside.
Quickly, Nicola hurried through the dark, smelly hall and to the alcove at the far end that led to the kitchen where she found Hermenia out in the yard bent over a steaming pot of grainy porridge.
When the old cook saw her mistress, she crowed with delight.
“M’lady!” she gasped. “Ye survived the onslaught!”
Nicola nodded as the old woman reached out to grasp her hand, kissing it, and Tab went to the pot to see if there was anything interesting cooking inside.
He stuck his finger into the bubbling gruel, hissing when he burned it.
He sucked the gruel off his burned finger as Nicola pulled him away from the scalding pot.
“We were safe in our chambers all night,” she told the cook. “And you? Where did you spend the night?”
The old woman pointed to the kitchen. “In there,” she said.
“I bolted all of the doors so no one could get in, but they found me this morning and told me to feed the men. I asked what men and they said I was to feed the army. My lady, these men are sworn to Edward. There is a new army here after last night.”
Nicola looked around the yard, noting that it seemed untouched and unchanged from the last time she saw it.
No looting, no destruction. The sheep that she and Kenton had purchased were still over in their corral, munching on their feed, and right next to the corral was the postern gate.
She stared at the gate a moment, remembering her role in the recapture of Babylon.
It had been pivotal, for without her, none of this would have happened.
Depressed, she forced herself to turn away.
“I know,” she muttered. “I must find the commander and discover what is to become of Babylon. We are back in Edward’s hands now and I must know what their plans are.”
Hermenia nodded, pointing to the gate that led from the kitchen yard out into the inner ward. “A knight was just here,” she said. “He was the one who told me to feed the men. He can’t have gone far.”
She was urging Nicola towards the kitchen yard gate and Nicola took the suggestion.
She hurried to the gate with Tab on her heels, both of them peering outside into the inner ward to see what it looked like beyond.
It was muddy and they could see signs of damage.
Here and there were men sitting against the inner wall either injured or simply resting, but she couldn’t see much more than that.
Timidly, she opened the gate, yanking on it when the hinges stuck.
The rusted iron hinges often gave her trouble and when the mud would shift after heavy rain, the gate would sometimes be wedged closed.
Fortunately, she was able to squeeze through it, out into the inner ward, as Tab followed close behind.
Nicola was several steps into the inner ward when she realized that Babylon appeared much worse off at eye level than it did from her perch above.
The walls weren’t damaged but there were injured men everywhere and the gatehouse was in shambles.
She gasped when she saw the great portcullis off-track, hanging at an angle, and there were men she did not recognize trying to fix it.
The big gates themselves were wide open and one of them seemed to be unhinged.
Men were milling about and there was a group of soldiers, Kenton’s soldiers, who were being corralled.
Shocked at the sight of the devastation, Nicola called to the first soldier she came across.
“Where is your commander?” she demanded. “I am Lady Thorne and this is my home. Take me to your commander immediately.”
The soldier, who had been assigned to collect fallen weapons, eyed Nicola strangely for a moment.
She thought he might actually deny her simply by the expression on his face, but after a moment he leaned the used arrows he had been collecting against the wall of the keep and pointed towards the gatehouse.
“He is over there, my lady,” he said.
“Take me to him.”
The soldier turned for the gatehouse without another word.
Nicola, grasping Tab’s hand tightly, followed through the muck and mud.
She passed by men who were badly wounded and being tended to by other soldiers, but she tried not to look at them.
She tried not to look at any of them because every man reminded her of Kenton.
Most of the wounded she saw were, in fact, Kenton’s men, and she knew that if they saw her, they more than likely recognized her.
Perhaps they even blamed her for what happened.
Or perhaps they were hoping she would save them.
In any case, she simply couldn’t look at them.
She was afraid that if she did, she would weep.
Weep with guilt.
The gatehouse seemed to be the busiest area in the inner ward and the soldier led her through the crowd of men trying to repair the unhinged gate, straight to a big man in armor and shoulder-length blond hair.
The soldier muttered something to the armored man, who then looked at Nicola with both surprise and interest. He pushed the soldier aside as he went to her.
“Lady Thorne?” he asked politely.
Nicola eyed the large knight, who was not unhandsome. “Aye,” she replied. “Who are you?”
The knight smiled politely. “I am Brome St. John, commander of Conisbrough Castle,” he said. “We have answered your missive, my lady. I hope we have responded to your liking.”
Nicola sighed, although she tried to cover it. It was simply a reaction to his statement; I hope we have responded to your liking. She couldn’t say what she was thinking, that she wished she’d never sent the damnable message. But she was certainly thinking it.
“Thank you for your response,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound ungrateful for all of the effort. “Then it is safe to say Edward once again controls Babylon?”